Season 1, Episode 1 Transcript


Welcome to CS Joseph Responds. I’m your host Chase, here to answer your questions on any topic, Jungian Analytical Psychology or Four Sides Dynamics. Excuse me while I itch myself with my Elder Wand. Today’s question is, what is the best match for an ESFP? And this question comes from Quora. So let’s take a look at what it has to say for us today. And, what’s the best match for ESFP? And looks like it’s got a couple of answers already. Looks like the, let’s see what we could do here. So Isabel Mayhew says, the best match for an ESFP would be a fairly easy to find ISFJ personality type. Both will obtain what they need with minimal effort. The ESFP will provide the fun and social networking the ISFJ needs. The ISFJ will provide a stable home and nurturing the ESFP needs. Both will do better in the long run with feeling types, even if strongly attracted to thinking types. Cindy Pope, who is a BA in Journalism and Psychology in 1979, she says, “ISFJ is often said to be best match for ESFP “because they are very loyal, accommodating, and stable, “which is really what an ESFP needs”. Very fair. And a third answer comes from Sylvia Trein, INFJ and Enneagram One compulsively studying people. Of course. Best answer I can give you, whoever can offer what that particular ESFP is looking for in a romantic relationship, and who wants what that ESFP can offer in return. Wow. Has anyone, like, ever told you that you’re really novel when you talk like that? I mean, how about you just answer their question instead of making it sound intelligent. But I guess that’s typical for INFJs with a TI child. MBTI generalization answer, I think an SFJ, NFP, or even an IT type who likes someone lively to move them out of their comfort zone and do the heavy lifting in social situations. Wow. That’s fundamentally wrong, in like, every way. So I’m glad that I can definitely come into this question and be of assistance. So that’s what we’re going to be doing right now. So Sylvia Trein, thank you for your attempt. At least you’re partially right by saying SFJ. But what relationships should SFPs get into? What’s the best match for an ESFP? Well, let’s talk about that. Let’s talk about compatibility. Compatibility comes from cognitive synchronicity. I actually have an entire lecture series on YouTube available. It’s in the season five playlist on my other YouTube channel, CS Joseph. Just search CS Joseph. You can also go to the channel front page of this channel, go to featured channels and click CS Joseph, and boom, you’re there. Or you can go to Click on YouTube, and boom, you’re on the YouTube channel. Go to playlists, season five, learn about cognitive synchronicity, which is basically the foundational theory that explains how compatibility for relationships actually works. And you can also go to season 12 and watch social compatibility for ESFPs. It’s not necessarily romantic compatibility, but it’s a little bit there. Romantic compatibility is actually discussed a lot more in season 14, but that’s available at Patreon at Hashtag commercial over, onto answering the question. So that being said, SFJs are amazing for ESFPs. What is that all about? Where does that come from? It actually come from, let’s see, I think I actually have a visual aid prepared here. A little bit of a visual aid to use for this. And I used this before. And so let’s share the screen here. So this is known as the Quadra Foursquare. And each of the 16 types belongs to one of these quadras. And ESFP specifically, they belong in the Wayfarer Quadra. ESFP is right here, it’s known as the duelist. They’re a wayfarer. Wayfarers are all about introverted feeling and extroverted thinking, and they’re also about introverted intuition and extroverted sensing. Fire and wind versus bow and spear, et cetera. That’s literally basically how they live their life. And the people that they’re compatible to the most in terms of the Quadra Foursquare are the people that they are opposite of. Kind of like opposites attract, right? So in this case, the ESFP would be really good in a relationship with an INTP, an ISFJ, an ESFJ or an ENTP. The reason why is because the top four functions of an ESFP is extroverted sensing, introverted feeling, extroverted thinking, and introverted feeling, right? Now those, through cognitive synchronicity go really well with, guess what, introverted sensing, extroverted feeling, introverted thinking, extroverted intuition. And they just kinda go together. Those types who have those other four functions are all crusader types, according to this visual aid. That’s why the ESFP should be in a relationship with them. However, there is a bit of a caveat. So I, in general, recommend people get in relationships with people within the quadra that they should be. They should never want to be in a relationship with the same quadra. That’s a disaster. And this is what Socionics teaches people with their duality bullshit. And honestly, I’m not down for that. But the reality of the situation is that they need to be in relationships, especially sexual relationships, with crusaders, their opposite-facing quadra. However, their superego, so there’s four sides of the mind, right? The superego, so you have your ego, which is where your type is, you have your subconscious, you have your unconscious, and you have your superego. Four, basically, personality types living inside your head at all times. That’s why you’re like, oh, one side of me is like this, the other side of me is like this, and I’m in the mood for this but I think this, I believe this. And it kinda changes. It’s like you got the little devil on one shoulder and you got the angel on the other. You know what I’m saying? It’s ’cause you’ve got literally four human beings or four personas inside your head at all times. Well, here’s the situation. ESFPs, they have within their superego, which is the polar opposite of the ISFJ type, which is the ENTP. Which means they’re not exactly going to have a really good, healthy relationship with the ENTP. So basically, in terms of relationships they wanna keep it to ISFJ, INTP, and ESFJ for their top matches in there. And so, the ISFJ is known as their golden pair. The ESFJ is known as the silver pair. And the INTP is known as the bronze pair. Funnily enough, the bronze pair statistically is the majority of marriages out there with people of all types. For some reason, people get married to their bronze pair more than any other types. And it’s just so interesting to see on a consistent basis. Not very many people actually end up in relationships with their golden and silver pair, much less a marriage for that matter. They actually end up marrying their bronze pair. There is one additional relationship in there, and it’s something that comes from Socionics that’s known as the pedagogue relationship. Like the golden pair, the pedagogue relationship has highest sexual compatibility with the ESFP, and that would be the ISTJ type. So going back to our visual aid again, where is the ISTJ? The ISTJ, interestingly enough, is down here in the philosopher area. And the ISTJ is known as the pedagogue to the ESFP. And the ESFP is also the pedagogue to the ISTJ. So as a result, when they’re in that situation from a pedagogue standpoint, they learn from each other. They have amazing sexual compatibility, amazing sexual chemistry, just like they would with their golden pair. The difference is, in that situation, is that if they ever have any conflict in their relationship they could always solve it in the bedroom. Which is awesome. However, they lack emotional compatibility. But that can be a good thing. So when you’re talking about personal growth of each of the individual 16 types, if you wanna have a life as an ESFP that’s really focused on personal growth, et cetera, and being the best one that you could be, having a sexual relationship or being married to your pedagogue type can really actually advance you a lot faster on the path to enlightenment. If you wanna learn more about the path to enlightenment for each of the types, I recommend watching season 19 which is available at Just get a gold-tier membership and you can watch all of season 19, which there’s like 17 episodes of. So it’s a lot of content. And there’s also season 14, which is like nine episodes as well. Plus there’s an additional season 14 episode at silver and whatnot. Either way, all of these things are available to you as resources and whatnot. So anyway, where does that leave us? Bottom line, to answer this question, what is the best match for an ESFP? The answer is really ISFJ, and then I’d probably stick ISTJ as number two, followed by ESFJ, and then INTP as their bronze pair. Don’t forge the bottom one, which is their bronze pair, is also statistically the one that the ESFP is most likely to get married to. So anyway, I hope this was useful and helpful to you. And thanks for watching. If you liked what you saw here, please subscribe to the channel, leave a like while you’re at it. And if you have any questions or comments about ESFPs below, leave it below. And I’ll answer, or I read all of them. I may not answer but I definitely read all of them, guys. So anyway, thanks for watching and I’ll see you guys tonight.

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