Season 12, Episode 16 Transcript
– Hey, it’s CS Joseph with csjoseph.life, doing another episode on social compatibility for our social compatibility lecture series playlist season, I believe it’s season 12, episode 16. This is going to be the second to last episode. This episode is gonna be focusing on the Jungian archetype known as the INTP, AKA the engineer type. Probably one of the most asked-for lectures to date, and sorry guys, it has taken so long to get to this point. But as you know, when I create lectures I do it in order, and I do it in order of the type grid, the Brenzian model specifically. But yeah, we’re gonna be talking about social compatibility today. And so before I dive into the engineer specifically, let’s actually talk about the disclaimer, and also what social compatibility means.
So let’s talk about social compatibility and what it means. So, it means it is about friendship. Social compatibility is not professional relationships. It is not romantic relationships. This is friendship only. And we do this by combining the algorithm that we have for face-to-face relationships, and the algorithm that we have for shoulder-to-shoulder relationships, and combine them together over a weighted average to produce this algorithm, which gives us the output for social compatibility. Social compatibility equals friendship. So, shoulder-to-shoulder, face-to-face, average together equals friendship. Very basic, right? So with that in mind, it is something important to know what the compatibility is. It’s basically, as stated in the cognitive synchronicity lecture series that I did, which I believe will be available in either the description below or as an end screen at the very end of this lecture, it’ll show you what playlists are available that are relevant to this particular lecture. And cognitive synchronicity is basically how the cognitive functions are on an axis with each other. And how one feeds into the other specifically on this axis. The other thing is, though, is that cognitive functions are trying to consume other functions. So the extroverted function is trying to consume or eat, like Pac-Man, right, its introverted variant. So FE wants to consume FI, and it wants to have, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, to get there. It also wants it to be pessimistic to pessimistic, or optimistic to optimistic, preferably in that regard. But that is where it maintains itself, that’s where it comes from, et cetera. So, yeah. And hopefully I won’t get interrupted on this lecture this time, and so, yeah.
Anyway, let’s talk about functional compatibility, social compatibility. It basically means when the functions come together they fit together like a perfect puzzle piece and some puzzle pieces fit together better than others. This is more of a fluidic, or I don’t know a soft puzzle, kinda like Play-Doh if you made a puzzle out of Play-Doh, you could potentially adjust some of the pieces to get them to work. But some of ’em just work better with each other by default, and other ones do not, it takes a lot more effort, et cetera, when you’re getting this form of functional compatibility. So based on that, functional compatibility is not camaraderie. And for some reason, people think that socionics, and their version of compatibility, is the actual standard for compatibility between the types. ‘Cause then they talk about duality being the highest for the types, which is wrong, it’s actually the lowest functional compatibility according to cognitive functions, but it is the highest in camaraderie, as we are going to see today with the INTP. So, remember it’s not the same. Why is camaraderie important, it’s because, mentally speaking, our race in order to survive, it has to work together with other human beings to be able to team up and tackle various challenges together, and develop tribes, develop cities and communities and nations in order to thrive together, because we can’t really thrive alone, human beings require relationship to be able to move forward.
Camaraderie means is that you could actually technically have relationships with types that you’re not very compatible with, that way you could still survive, or they could still survive. And that’s usually because you have similar traits to each other. Similarity does not equal compatibility, complimentary equals compatibility, just remember it that way, but similarity is not the same. So if you’re an SI user and this person’s an SI user, you’re not compatible. You have camaraderie though, because you kinda see things from the same point of view, right? And that could be super useful. For example, Steve Jobs, he’s an ENTP, and you have Steve Wozniak, he’s an INTP. Do not have any functional compatibility whatsoever, but they’re super high camaraderie. And as a result, they were able to create Apple together as very, very good friends. Just understand that functional compatibility, friendship compatibility is not the same as friendship camaraderie, it is completely different. Camaraderie could be, two SFJs, one’s introverted and one’s extroverted. SFPs in the same way, it could be people with the same interaction style, it could be the people with the same temperament, et cetera. Those are examples of camaraderie, but they do not necessarily mean compatibility. As far as relationships go, especially friendships, even romantic, even professional relationships, it is better to have higher functional compatibility in the long run, because once you have super high functional compatibility your relationship can get super, super deep. And having a deeper relationship brings additional meaning, it makes it a lot easier to work with each other. You’re able to get more done, you’re able to accomplish more.
You become more effective, both of you as human beings as a result. And that is where that goes. Having super high camaraderie, that’s a different direction, it’s more focusing on improvement, self improvement, improving others, challenge, it provides challenges to other people. It helps them grow, it helps them reach development, developing their inferior functions for example, because while they can be opposites or very, very, very similar. It’s like, oh, you can look at that one person and be like, “Wow, he’s way better than me, “I should probably learn from that person.” It’s about learning apprenticeship versus mentoring kind of relationship, where people can be taught, as a result of camaraderie, right? So camaraderie can just basically lead to the other person being a better them. And you being a better you, as a result of having that camaraderie relationship, right? So that’s it for the disclaimer, and the explanation as to what social compatibility is. Remember, this is not romantic, this is not professional, okay, this is just friends, okay, this is friendship compatibility, alright? We’ll get to the romantic stuff and the professional stuff a bit later down the line with these lecture series. Fair enough. So. And with that being said. The INTP, so let’s talk about the INTP archetype. It is behind the scenes, so its interaction style is informative, and it is responding and it is control. Informative means it always tries to be informed and inform others, it’s not necessarily direct. which means what the informative person says can change depending on the context of what’s being said Instead of say what you mean, mean what you say, that is a more direct way. Whereas the informative preference is just to inform you. And that is what I am doing here on these lectures, I am informing you.
And for some reason some guy named The Extraordinary Man thinks I’m an ENTJ still, but I’m sorry, ENTJs are direct and I’m an ENTP and I’m informative because I’m informing you, you know what I mean? I got lots of words in what I say, and people will get confused on my meaning sometimes, well, yeah, that’s because, context is king in the informative land, right? And of course INTPs are very responding. They like it when people come to them for information. “Oh they value me so much “so they come to me and ask me for my opinion!” You know, that kind of thing, right? It’s all about being in a position of responding instead of a position of initiating. I am very initiating because I am an extrovert, for example. But the INTP is the introverted form of the NTP, and I’m an NTP, right? So it is different, they prefer to respond. I prefer to initiate with other people. That’s the difference. And because they respond, they like solitude. Because I initiate, I like to extrovert and be around people. Don’t forget, one person or two people equals introversion, and three and above equals extroversion, that is the difference between those two there. And then we have control versus movement. INTPs are control so they go at their own pace, they take their time. They don’t want things to be chaotic, because progress cannot occur in the midst of chaos, whereas from my point of view, chaos is more like a ladder. I can utilize chaos to get to where I need to go. Whereas the INTP, that’s just not how it is. And oftentimes as an ENTP, I am accused of things just randomly falling in my lap, even though it was the plan all along, you know, which just kind of brings you back to the Pirates of the Caribbean film. Or is it Caribbean? I don’t know. Regardless, Captain Jack Sparrow, right, even though he didn’t have a ship, the soldier’s like “Do you think he makes it up, “or is he planning it all along?”
That kind of questioning, that’s literally the difference there, because an INTP, although it can look like things fall in their lap, it’s just because of their overwhelming faith. But they do it in a controlled manner. For me, it’s very chaotic, it’s very movement, it just looks like I make it up as I go. And things just magically fall on my lap and I must be the luckiest human being on the earth, when in reality, that’s not the case, actually everything is thought about ahead of time. And even if it has to be a few seconds ahead of time in real time, or many, many months and years in advance, either way I can get to where I’m going, you know, and that’s just the difference between NTPs, for example, for this model. So because the structure to separating the two or three sections, so the first section is I’m going to be talking about the list of what types in what order that they are compatible with the INTP. Then I’m gonna be talking about the four types that are the least compatible functionally with the INTP. And then we talk about the four types that are the most compatible, and we’ll get to go in that direction there. So, for those of you listening on the podcast, it is important that you tune in at this particular moment, because I will tell you exactly what types are now compatible with the INTP reading off the white board. So, NJs are highest, SPs second highest, NPs third highest, and SJs at the bottom. And zooming in, we have NTJs at the top, SFPs, NFJS, STPs, STJs, NFPs, SFJs, and NTPs at the bottom. With the full list of the 16 types in order of social compatibility, AKA friendship compatibility, for those of you on the podcast, and the order goes like this. First is ENTJ. Second is INTJ. Third is ESFP, fourth is ISFP, fifth is ENFJ, sixth is INFJ. Seventh is ESTP, eighth is ISTP, ninth is ESTJ, 10th is ISTJ. 11th is ENFP, 12 is INFP, 13 is ESFJ, 14 is ISFJ, 15 is ENTP, that’s me. And 16 is INTP, their own type, for example.
And that is the order of all 16 types for the INTP, according to friendship or social compatibility. So those listening on the podcast could actually hear that, and there you go, there’s the list. So, with that being said, we will now begin with the bottom four types that are compatible with the INTP, and then work our way up from there, so here we go. So we have INTP and INTP. Wow, this is really great. If you’ve ever had the pleasure of watching an INTP versus an INTP conversation, it is fantastic. It’s literally that moment where you just wanna start doing popcorn emojis all over the place, especially if they’re on Discord or something. And you’re holding up your popcorn and you’re just that whole Michael Jackson almost look, he’s just stuffin’ popcorn in his face, that meme as well, I mean, that’s perfect at this point because it is very explosive and it is very hilarious. I find it very endearing and awesome, and I just have to just have no choice but to watch these two NTPs duke it out. Because it goes like this. “Well, I’m worried you’re stupid and well–” “No, you’re stupid. “And you are the most unmotivated person I’ve ever met.” “What are you talking about? “You are the most unmotivated person you’ve ever met, “and you’re like the clumsiest person I’ve ever met.” “Ha look, who’s talking, you’re super clumsy. “I mean, look at those food stains on your shirt. “I mean, are you even paying attention “to what you’re doing when you’re eating?” “Well, you’re one to talk, I mean…” This goes on and on and on and on, you know? Or it’s like, “I don’t even know if you’re a loyal person.” “What are you talkin’ about, “I am the most loyal person you’ve ever met?” “No, I’m actually more loyal than you are. “Because I have no idea whether or not you’re loyal “because I’m only aware of how loyal I am, you know? “And I’m worried you’re stupid. “And you never let me do what I want, you know?” And it’s like, “Well yeah, because why would I ever “let someone like you do what you want? “I mean, I don’t think you’re even responsible “or even capable of wanting the right thing,” right? Or “I’m way more supportive than you are.” “No, I’m more supportive than you are. “Why do you never give me any recognition?” “Well, why do you never give me any recognition?” You know and it’s just like this giant covert contract that they have between each other. And it’s like, “Well you’re not meeting my needs.” “Well you never told me I had to meet your needs. “In fact, not only did you not tell me “that I had to meet your needs, “but you never even told me how to meet your needs “so how’s it possible for me to meet your needs?”
And then it’s like, “Well why should I bother to state that to you, “fellow INTP person? “Because you know, if I’m going to do the time, “I may as well do the crime.” And they’re like, “Yeah, you’re right about that. “In fact, I’m gonna do the crime right now, “because you’re obviously puttin’ me in timeout, so–” And then it just escalates and escalates and turns into rage. And then you find hammers in each other’s skulls, and it’s just an absolutely great fireworks display of rage and I find it hilarious when I watch those situations. And do not get between two INTPs when they’re dukin’ it out, if you know what I mean, I don’t recommend that. So, INTP versus INTP, not cool. And then we have the INTP versus ENTP interaction, and you know what, this actually can work, this is super mega high camaraderie, two NTPs, they actually really understand each other. The thing is though, are they functionally compatible? Are they something that could be super deep friends over time? Not from a functional friendship compatibility standpoint. They can from a camaraderie standpoint, this is excellent for a camaraderie relationship. Again, this is the Steve jobs, Steve Wozniak combination, which is why we have Apple today, which is why I even remotely am even able to converse or do a lecture on this today, because guess what, I am shooting these lectures with an iPhone seven. Thank you Steve jobs. Even though technically he’d probably be rolling in his grave with what Apple’s been up to recently. #Stylus, really? Anyway. So the INTP and the ENTP, this is the relationship here. Very similar to INTP-INTP thing.
The ENTP is like, ‘You are like so impossible to motivate.” Or “I’m worried you’re stupid.” Or “You actually are stupid.” Or “You’re not loyal enough. “I can’t count on you. “You’re not reliable. “You’re the most immoral person I’ve ever met. “You are the most uncaring person I’ve ever met. “What makes you think you’re so smart?” “Well, because you never do anything “that’s remotely intelligent.” “You are the most soulless husk of a human being “I’ve ever met.” Those are the kinds of things that can come out in an NTP versus NTP relationship, similar to INTP on INTP. And it’s because NTPs can become very super competitive with each other, and it’s all about who’s smarter than who. And oftentimes when I find myself in the presence of INTPs, when I was younger, I would compete with them all the time to just prove who’s smarter and it was just this huge dick comparing contest. Don’t recommend it. So what I do instead, I already recognize that TI Hero is actually technically smarter than me, to be honest. And I just, I let them know that. And I respect the TI hero as such, but I also make sure that they respect the NE hero, and know that I can see things way before they can. And I could predict things way before they can. And I’m way better of a perceptional person than they are even though they’re more built for decision-making, right? So, just be aware of how that works. And again, you know there there’s some built-in incompatibilities here, but this is super high camaraderie, these two types could learn from each other, teach each other new skills, a one learns a type of skill, one learns another one, one’s a very idea man, one’s another one who can take charge and execute, you know, that’s the INTP for example.
And they can actually have really really good synergy together, and then the vision that the ENTP has, the INTP can actually engineer the vision and build the vision and implement the vision, while the ENTP protects the vision and develops the vision and then also assists in the execution, kind of like a lab assistant almost. And then as a result, it’s able to go everywhere, you know, just like that Steve jobs film with Michael Fassbender. And Steve Wozniak is accusing Steve Jobs of not being able to take a hammer to a nail, for example. And Steve jobs doesn’t even blink, he’s like, “Yeah, that’s right.” And he’s like, “You don’t even write code! “I designed this, I designed that, “we stole this idea from that idea over there, “what do you even do? “Why do I even read “that Steve jobs is a genius all day long?” And then Steve jobs responded with, “I play the orchestra, “and you sit in that position right over there “and you were the best in your position for the orchestra.” That’s what it is, right? And that’s how that relationship comes together, that’s why they have camaraderie, right? And that’s why they were able to create Apple. And it’s from this high-camaraderie relationship. If you’re watching this channel, please understand that the Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak is the perfect example of super high camaraderie to be able to make things work. And they can become really good friends, right, as a result of that camaraderie-based relationship, but it has nothing to do with functional compatibility, it has nothing to do with that. And would I recommend two NTPs in a sexual relationship? Hell no!
Imagine a gay relationship where you have two people being bottoms and no one is willing to be on the top. That’s crazy! No, that wouldn’t even work. You know what I mean? And I’m not hatin’ on gay people right now when I say that, I’m just saying like, you have to realize what you’re getting into. And then it ends up being a sexual relationship based on taking turns instead of having any real synergy at all. I mean, good luck having a simultaneous orgasm in that relationship. That’s not gonna work. Sorry. So, moving on. We have the INTP-ISFJ relationship. Remember, shortest distance between two points is a straight line. It takes a long time for a NE parent to consume NI demon, not that that would be a good idea. And the cognitive functions are trying to find the cognition on the underside, specifically in the shadow area. And it’s just a long distance and there’s a huge amount of interference. Yeah, there’s plenty of interference here with INTP in the INTP relationship. Look at how many intersections that there are here, and there’s also intersections here. And then this is just a huge traffic jam, like holy smokes, INTP-ISFJ, I wouldn’t recommend that. And especially because the ISFJ, you know, they have their very holier-than-thou kind of complex, not that the ISFJ would ever admit to that. But the INTP is very aware of that. And because the ISFJ can communicate, or, especially in a parenting relationship where the ISFJ parent is parenting an INTP, they can be very punishing. And then the INTP like, “Well that’s not fair.” And then it’s like, “Well, if I’m gonna do the time “I may as well do the crime,” you know. Which just makes that relationship even worse, then the ISFJ wants to punish them even more, and then the INTP wants to act out even more. And it just turns into this negative synergy which just destroys everything, and not something I would recommend. I actually know an INTP who has an ISFJ father, and that ISFJ father beat him all the time with a belt because he just didn’t understand, or he was not righteous enough, it’s just punishment after punishment after punishment. And it really wasn’t the INTPs fault. And he knew it wasn’t his fault, but he’s like, “Well, if I’m gonna do the time, “I may as well do the crime.” Because he would constantly get blamed for things he would never do by the ISFJ because the ISFJ-TI child would just be like, “Well, if your sister didn’t do it, “You obviously did it then.” And then it just ended up becoming like the ISFJ was more trusting of the other SP, or the SJ sibling, more than the NP son, for example. And that was a problem, right? And it really shows you here is that these functions just do not match up with each other, they’re not able to get what they’re looking for, there’s super high interference, there’s a lotta static there, remember our minds are like radios. All the cognitive functions or different spectra, or channels which you could tune into. And they’re trying to find the other side, to be able to transceive information, send and receive information all the way across. And they’re just not able to do it, because it is absolute chaos right here.
And the interference is huge. And guess what? It’s very similar when you look at the ESFJ type. You know, the INTP-ESFJ. Super high camaraderie, probably the highest camaraderie. I know I said, you know, NTP camaraderie is pretty huge, but this is actually technically larger. But again, shortest distance between two points is a straight line, you have TE demon trying to talk to TI hero. That’s gonna work, right? The hero is not gonna have anything to do with the demon. And it’s just same thing going across. And the trickster, as the parent, the ESFJ “Well I’m gonna show you a really good experience, ESFJ.” And the ESFJ is like, “You just dropped everything, and you dress horribly, “and I’m an elitist, and you’re a degenerate. “And I’m gonna look down on you forever” type of thing. And the INTP’s like, “Well, fine. “If I’m gonna do the time, “I might as well do the crime, right?” And then totally gets all in the ESFJs face, and it can get pretty violent. The INTP’s like… It’s hilarious. I’ve literally seen an ESFJ wife tell her INTP husband, in front of his coworkers to his face saying, “I am so much smarter than you.” What? An ESFJ saying that to an INTP, I have seen it with my own eyes. And they literally believe this, this ESFJ, she literally believed it, that she was smarter than the INTP. And everyone in the room was just like, “Whoa, whatever, that is way far out,” you know? And I’ve seen the INTP respond with, “Okay, well if you’re so much smarter than me “then why am I way more caring than you?”
And we were like, “Whoa, telling an ESFJ that they are heartless “or not as caring as the INTP.” And that’s what it becomes. It becomes a competition between the subconscious, right? Because the INTP believes that they are a better carer, or caregiver, or caretaker or whatever than their ESFJ friend, or whoever they’re close with in their family, or who knows what role they are. And the ESFJ is the same thing, “I’m a better INTP than you are.” And it just turns into this huge competition, and it’s just absolutely horrible. And the interference is super high here, look at all these intersections. It’s just absolute total madness. I would not recommend this at all for a relationship with a INTP. ‘Cause you know, remember. The further down you are in social compatibility here, the more shallow the relationship is, the more at a distance or shoulder length the relationship is. Whereas the higher you go, the higher chance of propensity you have to have a deep meaningful friendship with this person. The higher you are as an INTP, which is what I recommend. But, you know, over here, definitely can be an issue, right? So yeah, we’re gonna start on the top. So this is the final section of this lecture, and we’re gonna be talking about the four types that are the highest functional compatibility with the INTP since we just did the lowest ones, and the highest one is the ENTJ. Which is awesome. Absolutely awesome. It’s really interesting, because, romantically speaking, you do not often see INTPs getting with ENTJs, even though they have the highest compatibility overall, including sexually, right? They have super high compatibility in that regard, but you just don’t often see that, ENTJs end up with ISFs, actually, more than they do INTPs, at least in first world culture as far as we know. But when they’re friends, they can really do anything. And for example, a friend of mine, really close friend of mine, he’s an INTP.
And he does business with an ENTJ, and he produces content while the ENTJ manages and executes. And they have just this amazing synergy to build this company up from nothing. And it’s definitely helping people change their lives, it’s saving lives actually, helping people with their health on a regular basis. And this is just a perfect example of this kind of relationship. And here’s how it goes. The INTP knows what they think. Oh yeah, not only do they know what they think, they worry that everyone else around them is stupid. Well the ENTJ kinda already worries that they’re stupid or they worry that they don’t have the answers, or that they worry that they’re not correct. Or that they worry that they have not verified their beliefs enough, right? And at the same time, the ENTJ is constantly asking the INTP, “Hey, what do you think about this?” all the time. “Hey, what do you think, “what do you think, what do you think, what do you think?” Asking for the INTP to verify the belief system, or the belief of the day, for the ENTJ, or something that the ENTJ read or researched, et cetera, And they always gotta run it by the INTP-TI hero. “Hey, TI hero, “tell me right now, what do you think about this?” And then TI hero’s like, “Hey man, I think that article’s crap, “because of XYZ, because if that article’s true, “that would mean that this is true, “and we both know right now that that’s not true, “so because that’s not true, “there’s no way that could be true,” because logical TI hero, right. And the ENTJ is like, “Oh, thank God for you, INTP friend. “Because I can actually use you to verify everything “instead of spending so much time “researching every little thing myself “and then verifying every little thing myself “because I can’t trust everything in here, “but thank God I got you in my life, “because I could just run my thoughts by you. “And how I feel about things by you. “And you’d make me feel so good, “because you tell me what you think all the time, “and you’re always right. “And I constantly tested your logic on things “to verify you are right, “and you are right every single time “and this is just the best thing ever!” Yeah, that’s literally their relationship. So, INTPs are aware of what they think, ENTJs are aware of what they think, no conflict, ENTJs are aware of what they want, they’re aware of their passion, they’re aware of their desires. They are aware of what they want tomorrow, they have a plan focused on their own personal future for tomorrow, because they’re very future oriented. Everyone’s like, “But introvert intuition can predict the future.” Yeah, sure it can, just not with other people, it’s all about predicting your own future, and seeing your own future in a straight line. And you are so focused, sometimes it hurts your peripheral vision, NI users. NI parents and heroes especially. But that’s the point, you know? They know what they want, and the INTP he knows what the ENTJ wants, and is able to warn the ENTJ when there’s some bad things happening, right?
“Oh, you probably should watch out “for that truck over there, “it’s going to crash into the building. “We should probably build a wall real quick “before that truck comes.” “Ah, no, it’ll be fine. “Oh wow, actually yeah. “You know what, now I think about it, you’re probably right, “there’s a safety issue, let’s put the wall up.” And then all of a sudden the truck crashes and the wall did it and the ENTJ’s like “Oh, thank God I listen to my INTP friend.” That’s a normal thing. Because the INTP is able to provide guidance for the ENTJ’s wants and be like, “Hey you should probably want to do that, “because I had a really good experience with it. “And I was really safe. “And this was a good thing “because my SI child remembers how good it was, “so you’re gonna want to do it because I did it, “and I had success.” And the ENTJ’s like, “Oh, thank God. “Because I am so aware “of what you have done with your SI child, “I’m so aware of anything that you’re doing “and I can see that you’re having success with it, “so that makes me feel secure in doing it myself. “And because I want to do it because I feel secure about it, “because I see that you’ve already been secure, “that you’ve already had success with it, “what you’re telling me is the truth, “and as a result, I want to do it too, right?” Again, no conflict. The INTP wants to receive good experiences, the ENTJ wants to show them good experiences and give them good experiences, and the INTP just loves it, loves to bathe in the SE child, if you know what I mean. So again, no conflict. The INTP is afraid, afraid of making the ENTJ feel bad. Well, the ENTJ is already afraid that they’re a bad person to begin with, so no conflict. And because of that fear, the INTP is actually able to emotionally develop the ENTJ, and the ENTJ is able to be the moral compass of the INTP, it is fantastic, and I recommend it for both. Super healthy relationship. Then we have, we already talked about them being worried about being stupid and the other one’s worrying that he’s already stupid. And then the INTP never allows themselves to do what they want, because their NE parent shows that everyone else in the world are basically irresponsible with what they want. “So, okay, if they’re irresponsible with what they want, “then why am I gonna let myself want things, “because I could just equally be as irresponsible “as everybody else. “So I’m not gonna let myself want things “or be motivated per se.” And then the ENTJ’s already critical about what other people want, because the ENTJ is all about being responsible with what they want themselves, so because they’re responsible, they know everyone else is not going to be responsible. But they see that the INTP’s not allowing themselves to want things, or at least want the incorrect things, until they’re absolutely sure. So it makes the ENTJ able to trust the INTP, because the EMTJ knows that the INTP, excuse me, is loyal to them. SE child’s able to lock into the loyalty of the SI child. And because of that loyalty need that ENTJs have, they know that the INTP is never going to betray them. And they know that the INTP’s never gonna change their opinion about them on a whim. That is what an NJ needs. NJs specifically are concerned that people will change their high opinions of them on a whim.
What they need to understand is that NPs won’t do that. Except maybe like an ENFP, but I mean, as long as you’ve got the status goin’ and you’re givin’ more status to that ENFP, I mean that ENFP would be totally cool with it, right? Yeah. Anyway. And the INTP has no real awareness of the physical environment. The mechanical awareness is all with the ENTJ. But that’s okay, because the ENTJ’s not really aware of what the sensations they’re getting, they’re not looking to receive or be shown anything by the INTP at all. And the INTP is not looking to show, so no conflict. Also the INTP does not give a damn how they feel, and guess what, the ENTJ does not give a damn how the INTP feels, so again, no conflict. So if you notice, cognitive functions, they’re able to find exactly what they’re looking for all the way across the board. There is no conflict here. Everything is available in the ego, everything is available in the shadow, and this makes for one super great relationship. It is mega fireworks, it is very explosive, it is like, “Wow, you could read my mind, “and we’re finishing each other’s sentences. “And this is the best friendship ever, right?” Except for when it has conflict, in conflict it could be the most explosive relationship that you’ve ever seen, but, especially in a romantic situation, ’cause this is technically the highest romantic compatibility. And this one’s technically the second-highest romantic compatibility, even though they are also the first and second highest for social compatibility, and the same for professional as well, just so you know.
All of the compatibilities, these top two are the same, for all the different types of compatibilities. So based on this, when an ENTJ is in a romantic relationship with the INTP, it can be super explosive. They read each other like books, you know, they literally are able to interface with them so well that even if there is conflict, I mean, you know, it could be super fixed, easily. Wow. Probably shouldn’t have left that window open, if you know what I mean? Because there’s one open right here. Allergies suck right now. Anyway, INTP and INTJ relationship, literally the exact same as what we’ve just described with the ENTJ, except. The difference is, is that there’s built in humility and built in respect into this relationship. Some have argued that the INTP-INTJ relationship is actually stronger and actually better than the INTP-ENTJ relationship, because there can be a little bit of conflict there, because these two can compete with each other at times. And there’s a lot less competition on the INTP-INTJ side, but they do not have as deep integration. But the integration is super high anyway, and that built in humility and that built in respect that’s available with this relationship, actually can add to the meaning. Because basically, these types, the other person in the relationship is the hero. “Oh, you’re my hero.” You know, the parent telling that to the hero. “You’re my hero. “I love what you’re doing, “I love, that you’re saving the world.” And “Oh, you’re so much smarter than me,” the INTJ says. Or, “Oh you’re so much more willful and passionate “than I am,” the INTP says.
You know what I mean? Or “You’re so loyal, I love how loyal you are. “And I love that you always know how comfortable you are, “and you’re always so comfy, “and because you’re so comfy and so secure, “you make me very comfy and secure,” the INTJ says. Or, “You are the most moral human being I’ve ever met, “I love just how moral you are, Mr. INTJ, “because your moral compass is great “and it helps me feel grounded. “And I never have to be afraid if I’m making you feel bad, “because you always tell me how you feel, “so that way I know how I feel. “And I know if I’m gonna be breaking “any social issue around the home, “I always know what I should do “because I always know how you feel,” right? And that’s the INTP-INTJ relationship, and it works out great. All the cognition available is there within the ego versus the shadow. And all the functions are able to find it the get. And it was great because even the hero functions will listen to the parent functions because the parent could tell the hero, “Hey, you’re flyin’ around saving the world. “There’s going to be collateral damage! “And it’s going to harm the children! “So stop doing that.” And the hero’s like, “Oh yeah I should probably listen to you, parent, “So I’m just gonna come back down.” I mean, that’s literally the Superman-Lois Lane relationship. And this is literally what this is. Both types are Superman in one way, and both types are Lois Lane in one way, literally. And that’s why you have that built in humility, that built in respect within this relationship, because it’s like, “Wow, you’re so passionate, or wow, you’re so smart.” You know?
And even though the INTJ’s like, “I’m pretty smart. “I’m pretty smart, but you’re really, really smart, “and I’m really glad that you’re paired up with me “and I’m glad that you’re my friend, because, “I can so much easier-ly verify all my beliefs with you,” in the same way the ENTJ does to the INTP, et cetera. Right? So it has super high synergy, it’s really good. And because the INTP’s super mega mega, mega comfortable. It causes the INTJ to loosen up, become comfortable themselves, especially in the bedroom, the INTJ actually stops thinking about sex more often and actually is willing to initiate sex more often, because of how comfortable the INTP is, and they are never afraid in the bedroom because of that, which is super great. And then the INTP never has social anxiety, because the INTJ is around, because the INTJ’s able to give a good experience with other people, help the INTP dress and have fashion sense and go to all the parties and whatnot. And also the INTJ is like, just sometimes just starts to feel, ” Well, we kinda should probably leave right now, “I’m really tired.” And then the INTP’s like, “Oh, thank God he’s tired, “because that means we can go home now “and not have to deal with this crap anymore,” for example. It takes away the social anxiety. The moral compass is there. The INTP’s able to always ask the INTJ how they feel, and that gives them additional information so that the INTP knows how to behave, right, and knows what they should do, because the INTP is very dutiful. They are not about what they want. Whereas the INTJ is all about what they want. The INTJ’s like, “I wann give you a good experience.” And the INTP’s like, “Yes, I’m so glad that you have super high passion “to give me a good experience, “I’ll receive that experience.” What the INTJ’s like, “I wanna hear what you think,” and be like, “Yes I’ll tell you everything I think, “and I’ll do it in such a way “that makes you feel good about yourself.” And the INTJ’s like “Yay! “You don’t make me feel stupid.” It’s a really good relationship, I highly recommend it. The third one is the INTP-ESFP. Now, in first world society, usually the third social compatibility type is actually the highest type in a marriage that I’ve seen for most types, but for INTPs I’ve not actually seen this, I’ve not seen ESFPs commonly married to INTPs, ESFP-INTP relationships, I have just not seen that, it’s not as common, at least personally, anecdotally, it probably is statistically, I’m not entirely sure. But it is a great relationship and it is something I recommend for friends.
The parent function is able to interface with the inferior function. And because of that, because the parent functions are super, super responsible, that’s where a person’s responsibility exists. They’re able to help the inferior functions carefully get over their insecurity. And they end up developing a better relationship. And they ended up becoming more capable with each other. And the INTP is able to develop even more, get out of their social anxiety. And the ESFP is really able to train the SI child and give it training for better fashion sense, et cetera. The TE child really looks up to the TI hero, the INTP. And the NE parent gives the room and the options available to the ESFP to allow them to want things so the ESFP’s not stuck in analysis paralysis or failure to launch syndrome, and it’s really, really nice for the ESFP. And they can have a pretty good relationship as a result. As long as the INTP continues to be patient with the ESFP and the ESFP is actually willing to listen to the TI hero and give the TI hero its day in court, because it will get its day in court one way or another. And it’ll be there nicely, or it will do that with its foot on the throat of the SFP, one way or another. It will tell the ESFP the truth, and guess what, the ESFP, more so than most of the types, along with the ENFP, and the ISFP, and the INFP, need to hear the truth most. So that’s why TI hero exists, to tell them the truth and it makes them better people. Fantastic relationship, definitely something I recommend. And like the previous ones, all the cognition is available within the ego and in the shadow for the functions to get what they’re looking for. And then the INTP-ISFP relationship, super similar to the ESFP. The difference is is hat the inferior functions are now interfacing with the hero functions.
Now, yes, this can lead to awesome self development and getting these two functions, the FE and TE inferiors into a mode where they are aspiring and super aspirational, and that would be totally awesome, right? That would be totally dope. The problem is, if any one of these two types is lacking in maturity the super high weight of the hero functions could actually crush the inferior functions, which could lead to bitterness, resentment, hatred in this friendship. And they may decide to not be friends at all, and be super repulsive and repulsed from each other, specifically because of the power of their heroes. Because the INTP is being silently judged by the ISFP’s FI hero all the time, and the INTP’s aware of it and they hate it. And then the ITP never feels good enough, it is never getting enough recognition from the ISFP, because it’s like, all my support for the ISFP is barely understood, it’s barely accepted, or he’s not aware of it. Or at the same time, the ISFP walks around believing that the INTP thinks that they’re stupid, right? So how do you solve this problem? You solve it by communicating, right, you just have to communicate with each other, not have any covert contracts. Remember, a covert contract is like, “You better scratch my back if I scratch yours, right?” Except you don’t tell them that that’s the deal, you know? Contracts like that are perfectly fine and we do it all the time as human beings but you have to talk about it. You have to say the terms, et cetera. And covert contracts with INTPs, ENTPs, ESFJs, ISFJs, are very common. And it’s also, well, it’s common with FE users all over the place, but it’s the worst with ESJs and INTPs, they could get really bad. And it’s also really bad with ENFJs as well. And ISTPs, the covert contracts can be a thing, but not as much with ISTPs.
Which we’ll actually talk about in a later lecture. So anyway, INTP-ISFP, the parents are able to interface with the children. Sometimes the child function doesn’t like being treated the way it gets by the parent because the parent sees the child as irresponsible and very childish, and that can lead to conflict as well. But again, these problems go away if we’re talking with communication, if you are communicating and you’re both being mature, this relationship can work. And the hero functions can interface the inferior functions, as long as you are explaining each other’s insecurities and how are you’re sensitive. And as a result of that, the hero would be like, “Whoa, okay, yeah, I’ll back off.” And then as a result of that, they can lead to aspirationalism, and they can be in a fantastic pairing. Definitely one I would recommend. Although being that they’re both INTP, ISFP, planning things would be actually little bit difficult to get where they’re going. But they can get there. And they can be very good at shoulder to shoulder stuff, and also apart, and do face to face really well as a friendship, it can be done. Because the ISF is like, “Wow, you’re so, “you can engineer this cool thing that I’m working on, “here, I need some ideas from you. “Let me show you what I’m doing.” And then the INTP are like, “Well you could just do this, blah blah blah blah blah.” And then their eyes light up, he’s like, “Dude, that’s so good, “this tractor’s gonna be amazing! “As soon as I put this jet engine on it,” or something like that, you know what I mean? But they can get that far, and it can be really cool to see, as long as they are communicating with each other, and they’re not crushing each other’s inferior functions with their heroes. And yeah, that would be fantastic. So anyway, that concludes this episode of social compatibility for the INTP.
If you found this lecture useful, helpful, educational, enlightening, insightful, please subscribe to the channel here on YouTube and on the podcast, and leave a Like for the channel as well. If you have any questions about INTP or social compatibility, leave them in the comment section below, and I’ll do my best to answer them. And if you have not joined our Discord server yet, the link is in the description, please join our Discord server, I do live Q and A’s once or twice a month. And you can submit your questions on the discord, and talk to the greater CSJ community and get those things figured out. Also, if you’re on the Discord and you’re gonna troll people, just realize that you’re gonna get banned. We don’t really like trolling. Also, don’t post NSFW content either. That doesn’t help anyone, and you’ll get banned. And I don’t like it when people get banned, please don’t get banned. And treat each other with mutual respect, that’s all I ask. If you just treat each other with mutual respect, it’ll be fantastic, it’ll be no problem. Also, if you live in the San Francisco Bay Area, join the meetup group, the link is in the description of this lecture. And we’re gonna be doing meetups where I’ll be physically present, maybe doin’ a monologue, maybe doing a lecture, maybe just talking to people, hanging out, sippin’ some coffee, who knows? But this is definitely something I recommend. Yes, you can, I was asked recently, “Is it okay if I come to see “if I can have a relationship with somebody?” I’m like, sure, you could do that if you want. You could also do it for business networking, you do whatever you want, I don’t care. Just show up, let’s talk about Jungian analytical psychology and self-actualization. I mean, why wouldn’t we, right? And be adults about it. It’d be a lotta fun. And I would like to meet all of the people that are in the CSJ community, within the San Francisco Bay Area, so that would be awesome as well. So. Anyway, the weekend is upon us, and I have so many lectures to film, to do so. So with all that being said, I’ll see you guys tonight.