What Type is the Best to Parent an INTJ? | CS Joseph Responds
CS Joseph responds to the Acolyte question what type is the best to parent an INTJ?
Transcript:
You know? What’s up you go hackers. Welcome to the CS Joseph podcast. Today’s episode, we’re going to be discussing which of the 16 types is the absolute best for parenting an INTJ found this to be somewhat odd question to ask. But I mean, I get it, we do have a bunch of parenting lectures for each of the 16 types, how to parent use the 16 types available at CS joseph.ly, forward slash members in the journeyman member section, just 29 bucks a month, I highly recommend it.
Good luck binging it all. But anyway, everyone has the opportunity to learn how to parent each of the 16 types then and there and be able to come to a better understanding. But in terms of like, which is 16 types is naturally through, you know, a form of compatibility, or camaraderie to be able to parents and INTJ. Well, that’s definitely up up to debate.
You know, some people would say like, well, you know, what if it’s the golden pair of the INTJ, which should be the ENTP, like an ESTP. Parent. And I’m like, Well, my first reaction to that would be, I’m not entirely sure that’s going to fly because it sounds like that FY child is going to be heavily enabled. And combined with the NI hero, because they’re both optimistic.
And then you’re putting that with an optimistic and II hero with an optimistic Fe child, that sounds like that child is going to have a hard time developing their parent function. And as a result, they’ll be cognitive looping between ni and SI and potentially develop an f5 child superiority complex and the process. That sounds pretty dangerous to me. You know? And that’s, and that’s ultimately like, you know, people think that, you know, hey, you know, compatibility is better.
And honestly, folks in this life, compatibility does not actually necessarily mean better. Like, like, by No, by no stretch of the imagination. compatibility is not late. Because remember, folks, when you’re parenting a child, it’s not your job to be your child’s friend.
In fact, you should avoid being friends with your child at all times, you are there to parent them. You are not there to like be their friend. And it’s, it’s interesting. It’s actually one of the one of the areas that I have great respect for my ISFP brother in law, because his daughter, one time referred to him as her friend, and he had to stop her right then and there.
And he’s like, No, I’m not your friend. I’m your daddy. There’s a big difference, you know? And he’s right. He’s absolutely right.
Because friends, friends, either are entirely enabling or entirely disabling, right? Friends will least be honest with you. The thing is that they still have that friend, brotherly love phileo love type of situation, relationship with other people where it’s like, you know, yeah, they’re going to enable them. And enabling enabling is not good in a parenting situation. When it comes to parenting, I like to think or at least believe that perception functions, for example, you know, the NI, the SE, the SI, the N E, perception functions should actually take a backseat.
But then decision making functions or judgment function should actually take a front seat when it comes to parenting. Because what’s the purpose of parenting? If you think about it, parenting is purpose is actually to help develop proper judgment in other people like children, right? It’s to help them make proper decisions with proper decision making on what do parents constantly complain about when it comes to their children when it comes to, you know, adolescents, adolescents or teenagers, etc. It’s always that these teenagers are very immature, and they lacked sound judgment, they lacked good judgment, right. And this is why I maintain that in a parenting relationship.
Judgment functions should always take priority over perception functions, perception functions, especially since sexuality is attached to perception functions, perception functions, probably it’s just a theory, impact dopamine release in the brain the most whereas oxytocin, I think, is probably Eat, which is like the bonding neurotransmitter. I think it’s attached to judgment functions. And, you know, again, these are just theories of mine, but so more like an opinion, right? But I severely maintain that because the parental relationship should be relying on judgment functions more so than perception functions, because of the relationships, potential relationships that these functions have with neurotransmitters in the brain. I think that, you know, parents should be less of a friend and more of a parent to their children.
You know, like, I mean, even for myself, there’s a lot of areas, I just wish that my parents would just double down, dug their heels in and been like, and force me to do things I didn’t want to do growing up, maybe I would be less of a UT UF type with my, you know, unconsciously developed unconscious focused, NTP. So it’s like, double double for my trouble on my unconscious, you know, in terms of my development, then as a result, I would potentially be, you know, overall, less miserable as an EMTP throughout my life, you know, and, you know, using my UD UF octave Graham approach is something that I’ve used to develop my motivation life to improve, you know, it’s why I’m taking singing lessons dancing lessons, relearning piano very soon, during Krav Maga survival skills, and so on and so forth. I utilize it as motivation to continue to move forward in my life, right. You know, and when honestly, like, having proper parenting, you know, I could have been a UD SF type, or I could have been an SD UF type, which would be, which would have been probably great.
You know, in a lot of ways to be an ST. UF type, I think I might be the most envious of St. UF types, or scss types. But at the same time, like, I don’t want to trade my pain or suffering in my life or anything, because my pain and suffering, I have this credo, where it’s like, you know, I’m not going to allow my suffering to go to waste, I’m not going to allow any of the tears shed in my life, to go to waste.
So I use my UD UF aka Graham as consistent motivation to keep growing and to keep moving forward. And ultimately, in a consistent pursuit of happiness for myself, right. That’s what I do all the time. You know, I’d like to explain to Jimmy and you know who you are, Jimmy, but your bullshit comments here on this YouTube channel, like need to stop, you stop and think about what you’re actually saying, especially when you lack a lot of life experience from which you can be judging me, someone who’s much older than you and has had way more life experience than you.
If you’re sad, when should be a little bit more aware of the suffering of others instead of your own suffering. And then just learn to accept that. And instead of just judging them as somebody who’s weak, maybe you should come to realize that they’re using their pain and suffering as a source of strength and motivation. Instead of coming off all judgmental, like seriously, like, you are so lacking in your perspective and in your judgments of me.
It sickens me, bro. So you might want to calm down. Anyway. So that all being said, What type is the best for parenting? INTJ given given what I’ve just spoken about relating to perception versus judgment, cognitive functions, I would wager I would wager heavily wager that the absolute best type to raise or parent an INTJ is hands down their highest compatible professional type, which is the ESTP.
That way they have the highest compatibility in terms of their emotional connection, they have highest emotional compatibility still, but the ESTP is not going to suffer or put up with you know, their perception function. Crap, they’re not going to an ESTP is not going to enable an INTJ where the INTJ sees the world is like, Oh, I could do whatever I want. And I hero etcetera. Oh, look at me, look at me.
I could perform and I can just perform for the sake of performing and people are going to cheer me on right like my en TP parent. They’re just going to cheer me on right? The ESTP is not the STP is going to like No, you need to do a better job. No, you need to perform even better. No, you need to hone that skill.
No, you need to practice no, you need to stop taking shortcuts. There’s anything extroverted sensing hero hates in the world, is when people take shortcuts. It absolutely grinds their gears pisses them off. That’s why they consistently hate se inferiors throughout their life on a regular basis.
To the point where it’s like this, this huge thing. It’s like it’s a giant thing. And it’s like super annoying to them. If you want to annoy an ESTP be an SE inferior who’s taking shortcuts or just take shortcuts in general, an ESTP is like, wow, there’s someone who’s weak.
Wow, there’s someone who’s not willing to put in the effort, wow, there’s someone I can’t trust. There’s someone who’s wishy washy. There’s someone who’s entirely fake and flimsy. That’s literally how they’ll judge them.
So when it comes to a child of an ESTP, and ESTP, is not going to suffer any shortcuts being taken. So I actually help develop the parent function within the INTJ child, so that their ni and their FY are not cognitive looping. So they do not develop an FY child superiority complex, right? This is why maintain an ESTP is the absolute best choice, be it a mother or father to be a parent to an INTJ child. It’s super, super important.
You know, what I’ve really noticed, though, is that, like, throughout my life, you know, there’s this pattern that I’ve noticed, like certain types being born to certain kinds of parents. And I’ve come to realize that like, it is extremely common for ESTPs, to be born to INTJ is, and it’s also extremely common for for INTJ is to be born to ESTPs, like, very common, extremely common, I’ve noticed this, and I’d like to either, you know, call this Providence, you know, maybe God’s got a plan for certain people to being parented by certain types. Or maybe it’s just something genetic, you know, inherited traits within our our race to keep our race surviving, you know, to keep our race strong, to keep our race adaptable, and whatever environment whatever struggles that our race happens to have. And I like to think that, you know, our biology has a mind of its own, and is capable of adaptation, even psychologically psychological adaptation to the environment.
And one of the ways that that happens is like, we consistently see a lot of certain types born to the same types over and over and over again. And it’s basically like this backup program that guarantees the longevity and the safety and the livelihood of our race as a whole. I like to think so. I like to think that that’s a thing and that’s normal, right? Seems pretty, makes a lot of sense to me.
So that’s why I accept that and accept that notion entirely. You know, and ESTP parenting an INTJ is, is is no different. It’s kind of interesting, because I have an INTJ child with an ESTP Mother, you know, she Railgun is my INTJ son’s mother. And she does not enable them all he’ll throw a temper tantrum is and TJ children always do.
But that SC hero is just not going to have it. It’s like yeah, I don’t care about your little si demon self destruction because you’re trying to get attention because, and a quote her words to watch her any demon, just any demon, our son, life is not all about what choices you want. Life’s not You’re not always going to get what you want. Right? It’s like, Yeah, that’s true.
The problem is, though, is that when you have an expert intuition hero, as a father, right, you know, I’m severely at risk of enabling, and I’m severely at risk of enabling my INTJ son, and I gotta be super super careful, because they’ll just tell me what he wants, and then I’ll get it for him without even thinking because any hero you know, that’s, that’s a risk, but that’s why she exists. You know, this is this is another reason why I think that the nuclear family is completely flawed and absolutely worthless and useless. It should be avoided at all costs. Because within a family there needs to be the families need to be big families need to be big so that there’s enough cognition available, so that everyone is able to derive whatever camaraderie they need for growth, and whatever compatibility they need for well being and wellness and being happy and accepted and respected within the confines own family, lest you end up like me, the firstborn and the firstborn almost always ends up screwed and the firstborn almost always ends up UD U F.
According to Octa gram. I’ve noticed that UD well it’s honestly true. I’m just No, I’m just saying that UT UF types terms of Okta gram, often are firstborns. I’ve noticed victims of the mistakes of their parents.
This is why firstborns were treated with greater honor in ancient times. Now firstborns are just treated like trash and left for dead in our Western society. And everything is given to the baby of the family. For example, like my mother basically got all the inheritance while her older brothers got screwed and my mom’s the baby the family.
Wow. Right. That’s pretty lame. peroxy gram is UD SF has an ISFJ.
So it’s like, what the hell? What the hell is going on here? You’re saying. So life sucks being a firstborn. So if you have children, and you have a firstborn, treat them with higher honor, give them more special treatment than your other children, because your other children didn’t have to deal with the fact that you were a complete total failure when you were a new parent. That’s a fact.
So treat your firstborn with higher honor. And if your other children complain about it, explain to them that the firstborn had to suffer and put up with way more than they ever had to. And that’s just how it is. If that’s if you really want fairness among your children, treat your firstborn with special treatment, because that’s actually fair, because they had to deal with your crap that deal with you being a bad parent when you first started Africa.
And if you actually think you were a great parent, when you first started, I got news for you. You weren’t like you weren’t? No one is. So anyway, like, just understand that nuclear family is crap. It’s causing a lot of problems.
You know, children don’t have hearts of their fathers. Fathers don’t have hearts for the children. It’s not like fathers are getting anything out of being in a family or being married. So what’s the point, right, and then children blame the fathers, when they should not be blaming the father who should be blaming society, or potentially the women that society enables.
It’s not always the father’s fault. Although time after time, within my coaching practice, I consistently see how fathers are blamed over and over and over. Anyway, big tangent but whatever the reality situation is, and the bottom line of the situation is best type for parenting an INTJ is hands down their highest professional compatibility, aka the ESTP type. So anyway, folks, thanks for watching and listening, and I’ll see you guys in the next episode.
