cs joseph responds
Welcome to see us justice response. I’m your host chase here to answer your questions on any topic union analytical psychology or the four sides of the mind. Also known as for size dynamics. Today’s question is, what is the ESFJ Darkside like and sorcerer Today’s question is none other than Cora as usual.
And let’s take a look at this question. Awesome. So, we got dn does and bhaga Shahana oz works at RSU PN keep though mangunkusumo answered on June 9 2019 as an ESFJ gosh, don’t you just love how everyone is always all like, well as as an ESFJ or as an ES J as an INFP as as an ISFP it’s just it’s like wow, dudes like we like stop saying that as above, you know, there’s a chance this person is like actually mistyped because, you know, the tests are only one out of five accurate, and if they aren’t ESFJ that means they’re affiliative so they’re more likely to accept the authority or the credibility of the The MBTI tests online. And then even though they’re getting a one out of five accurate result, it’s kind of like blowing up in their face.
So I wonder what they’re actually gonna say here. Let’s continue. As an ESFJ, my dark side would be overthinker most interesting. Most of the time it is because I’m also a people pleaser.
Wow, this person might actually be an ESF J. We tend to want to please people we care about to the extent we are doing things we aren’t really passionate about. Yes, they are doormat ish. Yes.
And live in regrets because we are not after the real passion. Well, it’s kind of because you guys kind of light lack passion entirely because you reach for it intuition trickster. You want other people to have passions that you feel wanted because an ESFJ feels valued when somebody is coming after them and chasing them and seeking them and wanting them et cetera. So but of course, you know, that’s not exactly what’s going to happen you I mean, we also tend to be too social.
When I was younger, I was such a nosy person. Yes, ESFJ’s are like literally the most nosy of all the types. It’s so annoying, but it’s kind of necessary to because their nosiness can actually turn into safety for others. So you have to like understand it comes with the balance.
I need to know everything about everyone. Yes, they are insane busybodies, gossips, are intp are probably as bad if not worse than ESF J’s. But that’s kind of debatable. As I grew up, I learned that I was super exhausting and consumed most of my time.
That it was, oh, I learned that it was super exhausting, then I give no F anymore about other people’s business. But really, almost every ESF J person will go through that immature phase of being super nosy and to social. Our immature version is super extrovert, and our mature version is ambivert. Okay, those last few sentences there this answer are absolute crap.
And I don’t believe what this person is saying. However, the first few paragraphs is what they said is right on. That’s excellent. Although it doesn’t exactly answer this question, but it is relevant information ESF j.
So thank you for posting it, Deanna. And apparently no one else decided to post anything. So I will now answer the question. What is the ESF J Darkside like Well, to put it very simply, you can take the red pill or you could take the blue pill, but you know, I’m CS Joseph, so we’re automatically going to be taking the red pill and reveal the fact that the ESFJ Darkseid is controlling a F like these people are like seriously controlling like oh my gosh, they’re so controlling.
And they’re extremely they can be extremely manipulative when they’re in their dark side. How and why their form manipulation comes from caretaking it’s their vice if you want to learn more about virtue and vice of the types because they’re virtuous caregiving, their vices caretaking, we’re gonna explain the difference in a little bit. You’re the sum up if you want a deep dive of that and stories about my grandmother who is an ESFJ. You can go to my other YouTube channel, just go to the channel page for this YouTube channel, click on the feature channel, which says CS Joseph it goes to my other channel and then go to playlists then go to season seven and then find the ESF J episode which I believe is Episode Five season seven episode five.
You can also do it on our podcast at CS joseph.ly forward slash podcast. You can also listen to some podcasts there hashtag commercial over so is FJ Darkside the caregiving versus caretaking and caregiving as they is, as Dan pointed out, you know, we tend to want to please people we care about to the extent we’re doing things we aren’t really passionate about and live in regrets because we’re not after the real passion. That’s very true. And this is what causes them to be very giving and caregiving to other people but caretaking however caretaking is known as a covert contract.
A covert contract is is like this hey I scratch your back, you better scratch mine, but you’re not telling the other person that you expect them, you have that expectation. Whereas SFJs and NTPs, more than any of the types have covert contract manipulation, where they do nice things, and they expect other people to give back to them in return. But those people didn’t even know they were on the hook for that, right? It’s extremely manipulative. And then SFJs and NTPs.
Use that to justify that to betray those people later. And it causes them to be disloyal. Even though the Crusader types and Crusader types being SFJs and NTPs, never even told the people involved in that interaction about the covert contract to begin with. This is why I tell Crusaders, you folks need to be all about overt contracts.
God, I mean, that would that that would be nice. That would be nice. But you know, they don’t do that. Because it’s improper, because they don’t like revealing themselves as though they’d like to stick to the shadows, these Crusader types, etc.
So that can be a serious problem. Gosh, my my allergies is going crazy right now, for some reason, must be the glasses because I was wearing them outside. And maybe they have lots of pollen still on them. I’m not sure.
Who knows. So the point is, you know, when they’re in their dark side, they’re very caretaking, they end up taking from other people. So they so it’s this turns into simply giving to get the ESFJ gives in order to get essentially, and it’s very selfish. And they like in themselves, they’d like to believe sometimes arrogantly believe that they’re the most self sacrificing of all the types, the most giving of all the types, which on the surface, it definitely seems that way, but they’re often giving to get.
So it’s not necessarily always true. It’s not necessarily always noble, it’s not necessarily always sincere. It may look sincere, but it’s not necessarily always sincere. And usually they’re giving as a form of self serving.
Another reason why they’re so giving in this regard is because they worry about their self worth or constantly feeling like they’re not worthy. And I mean, even to get back on my grandmother when she’s misbehaving, I’ll actually do the dishes in front of her to punish her because it’s like, I’m taking away her opportunity to contribute to me, right. And she and I’m basically telling her like, hey, you know, by me doing the dishes, you know, I find you unworthy to wash my own dishes. It sounds really arrogant and narcissistic, for me to say, but for some reason ESF J’s like literally think this way.
So in order and you know, when I’m when I’m meeting out justice on people, I like to meet them right at their level and hit them at all the little soft Gooshie places within their cognitive functions within their minds. And that’s one of the ways that you deal with an ESFJ you take away their opportunities to contribute to you, which then takes away their opportunities to caregiver or caretaker etc. Because they think they realize that they can’t take you or they don’t have take from you or they don’t have some license to force you to do something against your will later because you’re taking away their opportunity to give to you in the present. Which again, is a form of being controlling and over and after a while if you are not meeting their covert contracts if you’re not meeting your end of the bargain when they are caretaking, because caretaking literally means you’re giving to get caregiving means you’re giving which means you’re giving care to someone and not expecting anything in return.
That’s what an ESFJ a virtuous ESFJ would do but a vital ESFJ is all about giving to get right giving to receive something later. It’s very manipulative. It’s known as a covert contract again, but the but it can get worse or Darkside can get even worse and how it gets worse is that they end up if you’re not if you’re there, if you’re doing if you have a lot of covert contracts stacked against you in the mind of the ESFJ and you haven’t given them any return on investment because they’re ENTJ super ego. The super ego is a is the place in someone’s mind.
It’s an additional type. So for them it’s an ENTJ they have an ENTJ super ego swimming in their head. And that’s ENTJ is very, it’s ultimately it’s evil to their hatred is etc. And it’s especially upset when the ESFJ is not being listened to.
And the ESF j is usually telling you what four because they’re giving so much to you, but you’re not giving them back anything in return because their covert contract and you and you’re deciding not to listen to them, which causes their en TJ super ego to get really pissed off. It’s where their human condition exists. It’s where their sin nature exists. It’s where their propensity for hatred and evil exists, and then they start to hate you.
And when they start to hate you, it comes out and extremely controlling behavior, where the ESF J will start to control your life and the ESF J will work really hard to become so supportive of you that you end up relying on them. And that’s your big mistake at that moment when they’re in their dark side. They will make themselves so reliable and so convenient for you to utilize that you will utilize the ESF J in this moment, and you will and then all of a sudden they’ll be like nope, and they pull out the chair out from under and you fall you come crashing down and they’re like you will Do exactly what I say if you want my reliable help if you want my support again, you will do what I say. And it is covert contract becomes a controlling contract where everything in the relationship becomes transactional.
And they will literally control you and your life control your finances, control your future, and they will have a say in every single decision you make. This is how bad and how dark and ESFJ can really get. So if you would like a chance that your question being answered on this channel, please post it on Quora and tag me or leave it as a comment below. If you want a guaranteed answer for your question become a Silver member at CS Joseph dot life Ford slash members and post your question on our private q&a Discord channel, where I’m answering everyone’s questions during a private live stream each month.
The next one is on Thursday. If you want to get in on that I highly recommend you become a member. Please also make sure to like and subscribe to support the channel leave any comments below regarding ESFJ. And Anyway folks with that being said, I’ll see you guys tonight.
