Season 1, Episode 5 Transcript
Chase: Hey, it’s C.S. Joseph, with CSJoseph.life. And the last video we did, we talked about introverted feeling. For this video, if you want to find out what is extraverted feeling, also known as ethics, then stay tuned.
Chase: Okay, so, extraverted feeling, it’s one of the four cognitive functions that are attached to decision making and judgments. Extraverted feeling is also knows as ethics, just like extraverted thinking is rationale or introverted feeling is morals. Extraverted feeling is on a completely different axis. It’s not related to TE or FE, which is extraverted feeling. It is more related to TI, also known as introverted thinking, or logic.
Chase: Extraverted feeling is basically when an FE user is using it, it basically is the function that allows somebody to feel the feelings of other people, especially FI users and absorb those feelings. It causes these individuals to become really caring. They are very outward with their caring and not so much inward.
Chase: Someone who’s very inward with caring would probable be an FI user, because they know what they feel good about at all times. An FE user, basically seeks to make an FI user feel better. That’s why you have ESFJs, they’re known as the supporter. They’re super supportive. Some people would claim that an ESFJ is the most self-sacrificing of all the types, while its hero function is extraverted feeling because it’s a hero, it’s the cognitive function that uses the most or uses the best, as the highest frames per second in that slot within the human mind.
Chase: ESFJs are super caring in that regard. And ISFJ has extraverted feeling in the second highest slot, which is the parent slot. But, they are also almost as caring as the ESFJ. For example, my grandmother, she is an ESFJ, and she is so offended if I do the dishes in her house. Like, really offended. It’s crazy. If I do the good thing, and do the dishes after dinner, she takes it extremely personally.
Chase: Why? Because I am inhibiting her ability to take care of others. An extraverted feeling hero, similar to most extraverted feeling users … A user being someone who has extraverted feeling in their top four functions in their ego. By me taking the opportunity for them to care for me, or care for others away, they actually lose a huge sense of their self-worth because their sense of self-worth, also known as FI, is in the lower part of their mind. And because it’s in the lower part of their mind, it is … Well, let’s just say that they kind of look at their self-worth with a negative connotation basically all the time.
Chase: Another example would be like the mentor, also known as the ENFJ. An ENFJ, although super, super caring they’re constantly worried about their self-worth all the time. Anytime, someone especially their significant other does a certain behavior. If they have a weird look on their face, or if they make a grunting noise. Or just these little subtle things that may indicate negativity or displeasure of any way, shape or form. The ENFJ will take it very personally, and they will also … They’ll just have this melt-down. They’ll just have this big melt-down how they’re the most guiltiest person ever, they take it so bad because the ENFJ is like I want to give you a good experience, but I feel so guilty. That’s what extraverted feeling is all about. It really is the function where people feel guilt, it’s all about guilt.
Chase: If you want to make someone feel guilty, you just tell them you feel bad. Or you just tell them they are making you feel bad. You find an FE user, you want to mess with their day and make them feel like a horrible human being you just have to tell them that they make you feel bad, whatever they’re doing. And they’ll feel guilty. They may even disagree with you, and tell you off to your face, but then they’ll still feel guilty when no one is looking.
Chase: INFJs do that all the time. It’s annoying, they do it all the time. There isn’t a single INFJ that I know where if you just do the slightest good thing at times, because, an FE user, or two FE user they’re constantly trying to figure out who is the person that’s going to be caring person, and who is the person that’s going to be cared for in this relationship.
Chase: If you have an FE user with an INFJ, the INFJ demands to be in the caring position. And if you take away that opportunity to be caring, they feel so guilty that they get so emo. You might even find them crawl up in a ball in the bathroom, with the lights off because they’re just so guilty and emo about it. That happens.
Chase: I’ve also known that since with the rise of depression amongst millennials especially, INFJ’s or even ISFJ’s will go so far as to cut themselves because of the amount of guilt that they feel consistently because they’re being guilted by everyone. As self-sacrificing as these types are, because they are extremely self-sacrificing. FE parents, and FE heroes.
Chase: Especially FE heroes with their self-sacrificing nature people can take advantage of them. It’s very easy to take advantage of an FE user. Eventually, though, they’ll either cut you off completely or they’ll become so bitter that it’s like a supporter. And ESFJ, they’ll cook you a meal, but you don’t know if the meal has been poisoned, or laced with parasites for example. That’s how they get back you, basically.
Chase: Or cooking brownies with some fecal matter inside. As crazy as that sounds, but, you don’t really want to piss off those people. You don’t really want to take advantage of them.
Chase: So, extraverted feeling. What you want to do to make them feel better or just … I’m an FE user. I try to make people feel better, even if it’s fellow FE users. Why do I do that? It’s kind of dumb that I do that, but I do that because my extraverted feelings as a child. It’s a little kid. He just wants to give balloons and candy to everybody, and quite frankly it’s annoying that I do this. But, it’s just who I am.
Chase: I try my best to help as many people as I can. But, sometimes people don’t want to be helped. And helping these FE users is extremely tiring because they take it so personally, and then it gets their pride gets involved. FE users have major pride issues because … They also struggle with covert contracts. Like, a covert contract meaning I’ll scratch your back, if you scratch mine, but we’ve never actually talked about the terms of that relationship.
Chase: It happens in romantic relationships all the time. And can actually lead to women disrespecting their men because the men are being too nice. Dr. Robert Glover talks more about that in his book, No More Mr. Nice Guy. I recommend any man watching this channel read that book, it’s probably the most important book you would ever read in your whole life. I recommend you read that, or do the six hour audio like I did five times.
Chase: Yeah, extraverted feeling is about guilt. That’s how you make them feel bad. You basically make them feel guilty, and it’s real easy to make an FE user feel guilty.
Chase: How to do the opposite of that? how to make them feel really amazing about themselves? You comment, you basically show them gratitude. You show them, you give them public recognition. Where you say, this person has helped me out a lot and they’re really good at X, Y, and Z. And they handled this task for us, and all of that.
Chase: They will light up like a Christmas tree because, wow. Somebody actually values what I’m doing here for once. That’s what they really want. They want the recognition, they want gratitude. Especially mentors, ENFJs, and especially sages, INFJs, because while they want that recognition and that gratitude they really want those around them that they’ve invested in to feel loyal to them. And then give them special treatment, and make them feel special because they’ve made them feel special.
Chase: Again, you’re at risk of another covert contract. Just remember with FE users every FE user, every extraverted feeler has the propensity of being guilty. They will … Some of them, especially ESFJ’s, or ENFJs they will automatically feel guilty by default. It doesn’t matter what you do.
Chase: Even with INFJs and ISFJs where FEs in the parents slot, not the heroes slot. It can get that bad. Do your best to avoid making these people feel guilty.
Chase: Just like with rational people, TE users of you want to avoid to make those people feel embarrassed. You want to avoid humiliating them because TE is about all humiliation, and humility. Their version of guilt, basically. Whereas an FE user it’s all about guilt. Avoid making them feel guilty.
Chase: Instead, show them gratitude and recognition. Especially in front of other people. Praise, they really like praise in that. Especially if their FE is in a parent or a hero slot, it’s really important. It’s not as important for a child or an inferior slot in the ego. But, it’s very important for the hero and the parent. I can’t stress that enough.
Chase: Also, FE users, here’s an example or a scenario. You have a room of extraverted feelers, right? A whole room. One FI user walks into the room. If that FI user is feeling bad, the entire room feels bad because all the expert feelers are literally absorbing all of the feelings from that one person. And then the entire room just starts feeling bad and it’s an emotional disaster, basically.
Chase: Whenever you’re doing an event or something, or you have your family, you want to make sure you have a good balance of FI to FE users at all times. That way it just doesn’t turn into a huge depressive mess, or a guilt fest which it can easily do. There’s some families like mine where you have the majority of them are all TIFE users and very few FITE users. It’s just a huge guilt fest, it’s so annoying.
Chase: I cannot express how ridiculous that is at times because … The judgements from that. Endless guilt loops. We call them FE loops, where everyone is like, I’m trying to make you feel better. But, now I’m trying to make you feel better. It’s just as bad as a TE loop.
Chase: I’m trying to make you smarter. No, I’m trying to make you smarter. Well, you’re more stupider than I am. Where an FE user is like, you’re a worse person than I am, so I have to make you better. No, I have to make you better because you’re worse than me. It’s so disgusting, and exhausting. People just need to calm down, people to understand their cognitive functions and understand that there’s 16 variations of cognitive functions in the human mind and realize that some types are more common than other, and some words of cognitive functions are more than others. Maybe you should spend our time understanding each other instead of all this dumb crap.
Chase: Human social interaction is a lot more … It’s way easier than people even realize. Instead of, we’re going to judge you because you’re not like us. Or, we’re going to judge you because you’re not like us. It’s crazy. Well, that’s what happens.
Chase: Make sure you have a good mixture of FI and FE in your social situations because if you only have one FI user everyone is going to feel the way that FI user is. And that FI user is going to feel chocked with so many FE users trying to make them feel good at the same time. It’s horrible.
Chase: The opposite of that would be having a lot of FI users, and one FE user because all those FI users are using their TE to try to make everyone in the room smart. And the only person who can actually have a handle on logic is that FE user. And that one FE user, you’re hoping that that logic is actually higher up on the slots instead of on the lower side in the ego. Otherwise, it’s just going to turn into a disaster.
Chase: The same way the other one is. All those quotes, “Intellectually rational thinkers.” Might not actually have something to think on, if they’re trying to teach each other it’s just going to get ridiculous. Anyway. Again, for review, extraverted feeling, don’t make them feel guilty. Give them recognition, give them … Let’s see here. Recognition, gratitude, be public about it, give them comments, thank them, shake their hand. Make them feel special, especially if they’ve gone out of their way to make you feel special.
Chase: If you’re an FE user and you have someone trying to be all FE with you, literally pretend you feel good. I know that sounds ridiculous, people have to realize that with type not everybody has … Everyone is trying to find their subconscious, or they’re trying to find the types that are highest capable with them, or the types trying to live vicariously with or through. People just don’t have access to all the cognitive functions if they don’t have a wide circle of friends.
Chase: They end up trying their hardest to get certain functions out of people that are not really there. Children pretend all the time. It’s okay for us adults to pretend, for the sake of our social interaction. Remember, all social interaction is manipulation 100%. Just because manipulation with a negative connotation does not mean it’s not right.
Chase: It is right to pretend at times. Even though you may not feel good, or even care about what this FE user has done for you pretend that you do because it’ll only do you well in the long run. There’s nothing wrong with pretend. There is something wrong with pretense because that’s lying.
Chase: But, pretend is different. Please be willing to pretend with FE users or TE users as necessary. Because a TE user, for example, you’re like I already know everything there is to know about the subject. In fact, I know more about this guy. Yet, this guy is trying to teach me about it.
Chase: I mean, you could be a dick and tell them off or try to prove to them, in front of other people, how smart you are. Or you could just be like, “Thanks, I really appreciate it. I never thought of that before.” Even though you already know everything about it. It takes a little bit more patients.
Chase: But, socially, the rewards are definitely outweigh the stress to begin with. And that person will actually end up loving you. Think about it like the personality type version of how to win friends and influence people, well this is it, basically.
Chase: Anyway, that’s it for tonight. If you found this video helpful, informational, educational, please leave a like and subscribe. If you guys ever have any questions, go ahead and put up some comments and I’ll answer your questions. If you know anyone who is an FE user, do your best not to make them feel guilty. Just remember that they’re very caring individual, and try not to take advantage of them when you can.
Chase: If you are not the moral compass, because you lack FI, find somebody who is because then both you and your fellow FE user will be able to use that moral compass for better decision making down the road. Anyway, that’s it. Have a good night.