My INTJ Ex Asked About Her ENFP Boyfriend: How To Help an ENFP Accept Truth? | CS Joseph Responds

My INTJ Ex Asked About Her ENFP Boyfriend: How To Help an ENFP Accept Truth? | CS Joseph Responds

 

CS Responds to the question How to help an ENFP accept truth?

Transcript:

Hey what’s up Eagle hackers, welcome to the CS justice podcast. So today is the first day from which I am going to be filming with a completely different camera setup. Same camera, this time completely different sound system. Hopefully it works out got a beefy wind jammer on it.

And regardless of how windy it gets outside, hopefully it’s going to get better. No promises, but hopefully. So, you know, me trying to maximize my performance. A couple of quick announcements before we get on to this episode.

Today’s episode is going to be a little bit different and somewhat interesting, because of the source of today’s question is an unlikely source. And I never thought it would happen. But apparently it did. It’s kind of it’s gonna be interesting.

give you guys a hint, it is an ENFP related question. So fascinating. That being said, a couple announcements. So the new version of the test is going to be dropping very soon, I suspect will be dropping this week.

I know I keep saying Friday, Friday, it keeps getting pushed back a week. But graphic artists took a while to get some of our icons. But now we have everything and it is coming out this week plus the new layout. Very happy about it.

Guided mode is going to release first for the first four questions that are gonna be relating to answering the ego. And we’re working on questions five, and six. So that’s also me good. Also, my cast is finally off my foot.

For the second time I basically broke my foot since October, because October 14 last year is when I broke my foot the first time and then I broke it again just a couple of months ago in May, I believe actually which which kind of sucks but it’s healing pretty well and finally out of the boot and able to move on. Very excited about that prospect. And I just started to get back into the gym, able to calculate my total daily energy expenditure every single day so I can adjust my calories on a daily basis once I have three weeks of data got up and going to get my strength back. And after that I’m going to go all in on Carl Maga working on my next belt level.

So got a lot planned for my physical fitness and also going to be doing some backpacking and paddleboarding when permitted. Right now it’s about 90 degrees here in downtown quarter lane. And it’s about to rain if it starts raining, I’m gonna have to get out of here with the camera but I don’t think it’s going to rain quite yet. It’s got a while to go before it starts dropping some water on us.

So yeah. Cool. Guy demos coming out, these new questions are gonna be amazing for the test, please check out the test. It’s going to be available at Bucha dot app or just by hitting start personality tests and CS Joseph dot life.

We’re making it shareable and we’re also hopefully going to have the test available without people necessarily making an account they’ll be able to interact with the test without having to make an account. However, to get the result, they will have to make an account so I guess it doesn’t really matter in the end anyway. Plus, we’re gonna be providing questions five and six later for the guided node that will help people determine their cognitive development as well as their cognitive focus according to the octave gram. For those of you that would like to learn about off the gram on Instagram is the CS Joseph dot life version of Enneagram.

If you’d like to learn more about Okta, gram, the first bit of information was released on our Discord. And it’s there, it’s available, it’s a thing and you can play with it you can understand the concepts. There’s some pin messages in the discus ox gram channel. You just have to go to our Discord.

Go to the discord invite link which is below in our description go to link tree forward slash CS Joseph that’s li n k t r e dot e forward slash CS Joseph and then click the link at the list of links that’s on the bottom says JOIN OUR DISCORD community. Get on Discord we are about to break 1000 members, people who have been verified are marked verified. So you can see who has been verified I’d who isn’t people who are verified have their own private channel. And it is a 24 hour a day discussion, make a chat room for all things for size dynamics and union analytical psychology, as well as union sexuality, and various other channels.

Oddly enough, I guess it’s not really odd. The yogi and sexuality channel just happens to be the most active channel on the discord. So you might want to check that out as well. So today’s question, which I was compelled to do, I was compelled to do this question because of the source from which it came.

And the source of today’s question is actually from one of my INTJ exes. One of my INTJ ex girlfriends, so, I thought it odd that I was that they even bothered to ask, but why not? So, we’re gonna read you to the question. Hey, Chase. So I have a question for you.

Stupid of me to email I’m sure. Perhaps. Perhaps it is. I don’t know.

But ENFP question dot, dot dot. How would you get an ENFP to value? Truth? What a question. Wow, that is a frickin huge mosquito. Get away from me.

That’s the biggest skill ever seen in my life. Oh, man. I’m gonna have to kill this one second Oh, that was huge. That was the biggest ever see? Oh my god.

Getting a little mosquito action here on the show. It went on the ground after I hit it with Oh, and stomp. Yeah, can’t come back and goes even gross. Like just as I killed it just now like blood like splattered on the ground.

So it just recently fed Boy am I glad I didn’t let it fight me who knows what was in that blood? That would have been horrible. Disease carriers. You know what I’m saying? But that thing was freaking huge. That was the biggest mosquito ever seen in my life.

Literally in my life. It was almost like with its wings going everything was almost the size of a quarter particulates. All right, on to the actual show. How do you get an ENFP? To value truth? Question mark.

This has been something I’m dealing with, the lack of TI is rough with them and how detached from reality and truth their beliefs can get. I find to be a bit maddening. I have some values push with my ENFP. And I found it nearly impossible to sway his beliefs.

Even if they make literally zero sense. I can see it being an issue for us down the road and want to do what I can to remedy it now. Hence my email. Because you’re literally the only person I can ask.

If you don’t respond, no worries, peace. So I got that email. And I was like, interesting. And I thought to myself, You know what? This email is literally my ex girlfriend asking about her current ENFP boyfriend.

And I’m just like, wow. So my ex girlfriend is asking me advice for her current boyfriend is ridiculous. It’s entirely ridiculous. Just like, yeah, definitely, definitely not going to respond.

However, the questioning of its own right actually has some merit. So I’m actually going to answer the question and share with the audience. I already did respond to this email. And I already I already provided the answer to her.

And she responded back and admitted that yes, it was for her ENFP boyfriend. So it’s like, okay, yeah, whatever. It’s not like, like, I’ll ever desire to ever be in a relationship with that person ever again. So who cares? You know, I don’t care at least I can turn this into content for which the CSJ community can actually benefit.

So that’s what we’re going to do. So yeah, anyway, how do you get an ENFP to value truth, especially in the context of a sexual relationship? But you know, knowing this particular INTJ who knows that they’re even in a sexual relationship. She’s the kind of person that expects you to like, mail her gifts and you know, because gifts to her so called Love Language, etc. And without even actually ever showing up, and it’s kind of like, Okay, nice, nice test there.

I test I will admit that I failed a long time ago. It is what it is. That’s why the red pill exists and that’s why I grew up up, no problem. Listen, learn.

Anyway, let’s assume that they are in a sexual relationship, because that’s relevant to this discussion, let’s just let’s just make the assumption. And let’s just make the assumption that there’s a long term relationship here. She’s not being overly high Pergamus and trying to replace them, even though like by now she’s basically 40 years old, I think, maybe by now she’s like, 40. Yeah, she would be 40 by now.

So it’s not, you know, she’s, she’s, well, she’s well past her fertility at this point. So it’s not really that big of a deal. It’s not like she’s going to be having a family outside of possibly adoption. And I’m not entirely sure if she would adopt all of which, you know, kind of matters within this context.

And don’t get me wrong, I’m not bagging on her. I’m just trying to provide all the context necessary to understand the answer this question. So how do you get an ENFP man in a sexual relationship to value truth? Okay, so let’s let’s think about like what’s actually potentially happening here within the context of the situation. The first question I have is a knowing her she’s she’s subconscious focused.

She has subconscious focused ESFP focused INTJ, which basically means she’s subconscious focus in terms of her subconscious development is related to ESFP. As to whether or not she’s focused on the ESFP side, or going a different direction. I’m not entirely sure. But I actually maintain that she is definitely a subconscious development, but unconscious focused as an INTJ.

And this these are octave Graham terms. And again, if you want to learn more about Okta, Graham, you need to get in the discord server and get into discuss Oxfam channel and read all about it, they’re gonna be doing an additional presentation for the members and the cutting edge podcast this month. And I believe that is a week from today. So that’ll be cutting edge, August 2022.

We’re going to be discussing the initial pieces of Okta, Graham and how it comes together. But you know, octagon basically exists to assess human nurture and how human nurture impacts human nature, basically. So it’s, it’s, it’s entirely irrelevant. So given that she is ESFP developed, but now focusing on her EMTP side, especially from an entrepreneurship perspective, with everything that she’s doing in her life, based on what I know, who knows how much of it is a lie, or bullshit.

I couldn’t tell you. I don’t know her that well. I haven’t spoken to her. Like, in any real manner or fashion.

Probably in many years, at least three, maybe? Yeah, three, three and a half years. So anyway. So yeah, my information is out of date. And as much as her information about me is out of date, so doesn’t matter.

And you know, this is me being compassionate with extroverted feeling child and answering her question, but also compassionate towards the audience who’s in my living virtuously, y’all could benefit from this experience as well. So let’s actually discuss what’s going on if, if she is ultimately what I’ve previously called subconscious focused, if she’s if she’s there, and if that’s who she actually is. Subconscious developed with unconscious focus, meaning she’s developing your en E or en TP side, that would basically mean that her ENFP lover is probably the opposite, probably the opposite. So let’s just infer for a minute or assume that you know, this premise that they are the opposite.

So he would be unconscious, developed, but then subconscious focusing, and he has already developed his unconscious, and he’s focusing on developing his subconscious now. So which would be what originally I would have called a shadow focused individual. Now, I know this is confusing, folks. But hear me out.

We had to change the nomenclature. So like what I’ve typically referred to as Shadow focus is a conscious focus has actually changed. Because really, I was just talking about what was subconscious developed or unconscious developed, where it’s really the real verbiage if I was doing it correctly. If I was talking about focus, that’s where they were trying to go, not where they’ve been.

So when I talk about development, with their subconscious, or their unconscious, that’s where they’ve been, and then then, then they’re going a different direction. Now, people like myself, people like Chris Taylor, people like Andrew Tate, for example. All three of us are unconscious developed, but we’re also unconscious just focused. It’s it’s it’s double trouble to double.

We’re so deep in our shadow that we’re a lot closer to our super ego. And this is what I would have traditionally called super ego focus, even though it technically doesn’t exist. And as I understand I’m issuing a retraction here. Sometimes attraction happens.

Sometimes we realize that the science was not exactly how it was being presented before. So I’m presenting it in this different manner for your all’s benefit. Don’t worry, we’ll be changing. All the content that’s released from today forward, will be sensitive to the Okta Graham pieces, so that you guys can understand exactly what variants or sub variants there are of each of the 16 egos across both genders.

Right. And that’s I’m using this particular episode to help demonstrate that. So please pay attention to that. And don’t worry, eventually, it’ll be available on Bucha.

We’ll make that available. Although Okta gram may end up being a paid feature, while the test will be, you know, for identifying your ego will be completely free. All right, so just bear with me on that. We’re also going to be doing some kind of, it’s not really a Kickstarter campaign, but we’re going to be having, you know, one time fees go out for tears.

And so people can get verified to get a verified tag, because we’re turning Bucha into social media. So when do you want to have that blue checkmark, although we’re probably gonna have a different a different setup instead of just the classic blue checkmark of deaths that I loathe with a fiery passion. But, you know, it is what it is, we’re gonna have something different. So, but anyway, one thing at a time, all that money raised will literally go right to the developers to help pay for the development of the software.

And I’m very excited about it. So after million tangents, let’s get back to the regular scheduled content here. All right. So this ENFP would be what I traditionally call shadow focus, he is unconscious developed, but then focusing on on now developing his subconscious, basically.

So my INTJ ex girlfriend ends up having a pedagogue relationship with this ENFP man is also known as the companion level of sexual compatibility. So a golden pair is affection level. And then pedagogue is known as the companion level, but affection and companion in terms of sexual compatibility are actually both the same, they’re identical, basically. So remember, in terms of there’s eight sexual compatibilities, right, so it goes, you know, in order affection, companion, then it’s the natural, then it’s the intrigue relationship.

So my intrigue relationship is the ISTP, my naturals, the ISFP, for me, my companion, this is going backwards, my companion is an INFJ. And my affection is an INTJ. Right? Then the next you have the respect the respect relationship, that’s number five, and that’s the ENTJ, which is what we’ve traditionally called the silver pair, which is a little confusing. And then also, after the respect relationship, there is the trust relationship, which is what I’ve traditionally called the Benefactor relationship.

So for me, that would be E. NF. J, you guys go to season, the season three playlists and who are the ENFJ. So it’d be season three, episode four, I was talking a lot about my ENFJ ex girlfriend in that video.

And that’s basically what a benefactor relationship, also known as the trust relationship would look like, between the intp and an ENFJ. As an example, a little bit, although it’s not entirely, doesn’t entirely go deep in that direction. But it does offer additional explanation, you guys might want to check out that video. So Furthermore, furthermore, there’s there’s a little bit more to it than that, we have the refinement relationship, which is the super ego relationship is the refinement relationship.

And that would be me and my ex wife, who was an ESFP. And then you have the Kindred relationship, which is like me and ESTP, which is at the bottom of the compatibilities, the Kindred relationship, the Kindred relationship would be like King Solomon and his first love, that Egyptian princess that he married, she was an ESTP. And also that’s Railgun my relationship with Railgun in that regard, that she is also an ESTP and that’s lowest on the on the on the eight sexual compatibility. Now, granted, there’s the other eight which is where you get into the camaraderie, relationships where you have your conflict type, you have your co worker, you have your cohort, you have your challenge relationship.

There’s a lot of different ones in there, but there isn’t any sexual compatibility. That’s when you’re just Looking at just raw emotional compatibility, and that’s it, that’s all it is. So once you have all that understanding, you know, in terms of like, okay, what exactly does the human nurture look like for my INTJ? Ex? What is the human nurturer look like for her ENFP or her ENFP lover, that all matters because remember, like, you want compatible nurture. So like for someone like me entertain Chris Taylor, where we are what we call unconscious developed and unconscious folks at the same time, we’d right we’d probably should be with somebody who is subconscious developed and subconscious focused, right, the other extreme, and some examples of people are like that, like Jake, Paul Logan, Paul, they’re all subconscious developed subconscious focused, basically with this new octagon model, right.

And then also my INTJ ex with where her nurture is compared to where her ENFP lover nurtures, it also matches up perfectly just fine as well. So they’re pretty evenly matched there. They’re in a companion relationship, sexually, things should be going good for them. But it’s this emotional compatibility issue that she is having right now.

Which is why she contacted me, because as she admitted, I’m the only person that she can talk to about this type of stuff. Oh, yeah, I should probably go email my ex boyfriend and ask him for some advice about this particular situation? And am I? Okay, well, she has tripled, pragmatic, that’s entirely socially inappropriate. And I guarantee you, or ENFP lover would be very upset that she even did that. But at the same time, you may also feel like, well, at least she’s trying unless she’s putting in the effort.

Because you know, ENFPs do respect effort. And she’s actually trying to go out of her way to do well by this relationship, which I have no choice but to commend her for doing she’s trying. And given her age now, I’m think she’s 40 You’re 40 right now? And yes, you know, yes, I’m 35. And yes, I, I am traditionally attracted or have been attracted to older women in my time.

But you know, age is just a number I don’t, I don’t let things like age really limit myself whatsoever. So so with that being said, like, it’s important to understand all these contextual things before we can actually solve a problem. And the problem basically, is that there’s a lack of emotional compatibility. Her extra thinking parent is trying to get the TI trickster of this ENFP to actually listen to her.

But the reality of the situation is, is when you’re looking at an ENFP, from this relationship, the sexual relationship perspective, from their perspective, anything can be true, anything can be false. It’s all about what you believe. First is her perspective, which is all about extroverted feeling trickster, she lacks social awareness, she lacks what’s socially appropriate, emailing me and asked me this question is entirely socially inappropriate. But from her perspective, she’s also desperate, and had to reach out to me for x to get this information, right.

Okay, fair enough. And, you know, why not be compassionate, you know, I mean, everyone can be happy. So why not, let her be happy, and then let other people in this community be happy as a result of the lessons learned, and again, my compassion, living virtue. So, from that perspective, now that we understand what’s actually happening, and there’s this emotional compatibility issue, let’s actually discuss what to do about it.

So if you guys haven’t done so already, I’ve been discussing the deadly sins lectures, and we’re talking about something called the temporal wheel. And I haven’t really directly called out what the temporal wheel is. But the temporal wheel is a person’s cognitive origin, it’s like a circle and at the center of the circle, or you can actually make it look like a pyramid actually, at the center of the pyramid at the reverse apex, you have their cognitive origin. And then you have the four directions that they can go with it, they can go in their shadow pole, they can go on their aspiration pole, they can go towards their living virtue, and then go towards their deadly sin, right? So you have these four different approaches.

To which you know, someone can gain what they crave the most, which they’re calling of origin. My cognitive origin, what I crave the most out of life is satisfaction. Well, my INTJ ex craves the most out of life is her need or desire for deep respect, also known as reference, she wants to be able to revere herself, and she wants other people to revere her. It’s one of the biggest struggles that she’s actually had in her life.

Because oftentimes, she’d had to deal with people who wouldn’t see her as an intellectual. But instead, they would see her as like just, you know, another fine piece of ass basically. And she could really not often get past that component. And that’s very common for what we call ESFP, focused on TJs, or at least ESFP.

Developed INTJ is because I’m changing the nomenclature to for y’all. So I know I’m changing. And it’s really confusing. Just bear with me, folks, it’ll be a new pattern, don’t worry, I’m not going to change it back.

But given that she’s ESFP, developed, that has been a huge struggle in her life, right. And it’s always hard for her, and having relationships with men, for them to just not see her as some mindless automaton and actually see her as an intellectual by and large. And she’s trying to have that intellectual connection with men. But it’s Oh, it’s always something that’s very difficult for some for an INTJ woman who is ESFP developed.

Now, I’ve noticed that EMTP developed INTJ women, however, they actually have it pretty easy. Oftentimes, you know, they can have those intellectual connections with other people and gain reference through those intellectual connections within the relationships. But really, though, it just, it just doesn’t happen. It really, it just, I mean, you know, they still have their own struggles, they’re still just as discontent, because, like, I know, I know, an intp developed a INTJ woman, which I would classically have called Shadow focus.

Because, you know, Shadow focus being like, they’ve developed over time, it’s the Introverted Sensing, it’s their personal experience versus where they’re going, which is more of an introverted intuition thing. And that’s where we’re, we’re renaming focus now, basically. So from their perspective, they’re brilliant. And everyone knows they’re brilliant, everyone treated them are brilliant.

But the problem is, is that they ugly, they don’t know how to dress themselves, they don’t know how to be visually appealing, the kind of look pretty gross, no offense, and I have a really, really, really hard time being attracted to an unconscious developed INTJ woman, I really, really do. And I just know, for myself, I just, I just prefer the ESFP developed ones, over the shadow developed ones. That’s not to say that that can’t change. That’s not to say like, you know, if I was going to be in a relationship with an INTJ woman who was unconscious, developed, I’d give her some tips, help her out with her wardrobe, give her some options, give her some choices, from that perspective, so that she could change and improve for the better Well, ultimately, but then again, like, Which woman is going to do that, and that’s one of the struggles I have with unconscious developed INTJ women, because their ti critic is so strong, that oftentimes they just tune me out, they just really just, they just tune me out, they really don’t want to listen to me, and they just want to just kind of use their IED TP, unconscious, their EMTP shadows level of comfort with how they dress and how they walk with how they, you know, they’re, they’re not really as they don’t really care about personal performance as much as an ESFP, developed INTJ woman would actually be, so that ends up presenting an additional issue there.

But in the context of her relationship with this ENFP she’s got that covered, my INTJ X actually has that covered, you know, and I do believe her when she said, well always, always, you know, make sure that this is handled, always. And I think it’s because like, she really honestly probably can’t live with herself unless she continues to maintain what she’s already gained within her life. And that’s just regardless of whatever relationship he has as part of her own personal standard, and that she’s developed personal boundaries as a result of that you aren’t, I’m saying? So, it’s really important, it’s really important, you know, to her to keep doing that and more power to her if she wants to do that, you know, I think it’s important, especially as like a 40 year old woman to really really care about their aesthetics anyway, because women need to understand they have to go out of their way to preserve their beauty, you know, especially ESFP developed INTJ women, when it comes to our unconscious developed INTJ women, not necessarily like like, they have to learn that much more to get to that area. And it’s really really difficult for them to get to that perspective.

So yeah, that’s that’s just basically I guess, you know, the talk a little bit more about the sexual side, but the emotional side can be very, very frustrating because you have this INTJ who’s trying to get their ENFP man to actually realize the truth, realize the facts. So what is the ENFP trying to get out of life when everything if she’s trying to get reference, what is he trying to get? He’s trying to get justification, because all ENFPs see life from the following perspective, what am I allowed to do first? Because they’re there? You know, let’s be honest, a triple affiliative. What am I trying to do? They’re always focused on trying to do the right thing, right? Everything to them is all about doing the right thing. What can I get away with as an ENFP? For what am I allowed to do? Right? What can I get away with? They don’t care about what’s true or false.

They just don’t care. I mean, they might care. But from their perspective, they’re already aware of that correlation. They see the world in terms of correlation may actually be causation, even though we all know that’s not the truth.

But they live their life that way. So I explained to my INTJ X, and I’m like, listen, the reality of the situation is, is that he’s not going to care about any facts or truths that you give him with your TI critic, much less your te parent, he’s not going to take your input, unless it actually serves to benefit him. You know, this is when we get into discussion talking about men and having frame, you know, for him to have frame, he would have to behave this way. So it’s already a good sign that this emotional incompatibility actually exists within their relationship.

Because as a man for the purpose of his masculinity, he is keeping frame because he doesn’t care about the truth. And he’s not going to be convinced to care about the truth. Unless, of course, that truth or whatever XYZ facts, because they’re just an abstraction to him. Because anything can be true, anything can be false, unless they benefit him personally, unless those that those truths, give him additional justification that he didn’t have previously.

That way, those truths enable him to get away with more out of life, to give him more options of what he is allowed to do, without him getting any external judgment. Because from his perspective, he wants to be a good person, he’s part of the soul temple, he wants to be a man of high character. And the more justification he has, he’s not going to make a decision without having justification. Because if he does things that he perceives, or judges as something that he’s not allowed to do, or something that he would only narrowly get away with, he starts questioning his own character, as a person as an individual, how can I be a good person? If I’m doing things that I’m technically not allowed to do from that affiliate perspective? How can I be a good person or a man of character, if I’m doing things that I’m only just narrowly able to get away with, and is me just getting away with something really actually mean? I’m a person of good character.

So it all comes back to character. And guys, you’ll learn all about this if you just go watch the deadly sin lectures. So the first deadly sin lecture, this is season seven, part two. So this is part two, season seven.

And that’s available right now, CS joseph.ly. For slash members, become a journeyman member, and just go into season seven, part two at CS Joseph dot life for slash portal, log into the journeyman section. And you’ll see tons of content there. Deadly sins, lectures, and it’s the deadly sin of wrath, which is what ENFPs have.

And they have wrath sometimes, because it’s like, Hey, I’m justified to be wrathful. So I’m going to be angry. This is why ENFPs oftentimes of short man syndrome, right? Because it’s just they’re very wrathful people and as much as ISTJ. Well, guess what? ISTJ men behave the exact same way.

They’re all about what they’re allowed to do. They’re all about what they can actually get away with. These are the Vin Diesel’s of the world, the Channing Tatum’s of the world, these are the ICJ the Patrick mahomes of the world. ISTJ is right, they all have this perspective, they all have this point of view, right? So I’m just telling her like, hey, you know, you got to present the truth in him.

And you have to show him how it actually benefits him, you have to show him how he gains more justification. And given that he is unconscious, developed shadow focusing, unconscious developed shadow focusing, that would mean that he favors his shadow pole a little bit more from the temple wheel perspective, because you have the two poles, you have the origin, and you have the deadly sins and living virtue, which makes up this temple wheel, which I talked about in the deadly sins, lectures in the private area. Okay, if you want to learn more about that, check that out, because it’ll give you plenty of context for how to deal with this emotional compatibility issue. So from a shadow pole perspective, it’s, you know, whatever the shadow pool is, you have to go figure it out.

That’s how I would recommend this INTJ to actually interface with him. But here’s the other thing. You know, she’s all about reverence. She’s all about gaining that deep respect in her life, right.

And it’s one of the reasons why her and I were never able to even have a relationship because I wouldn’t give her that deep respect, or I would give it to her and she wouldn’t deserve it. And she’s like, Okay, there’s something’s wrong here, you know, maybe maybe Chase is not like on the level maybe Chase, you know, maybe my my female intuition is saying that Chase is being fake. And he’s not exactly presenting himself the way he should, because she’s like, wait a minute, something’s wrong here. But what’s actually really wrong is that she, like most INTJ women in Western society suffer this reference problem, where they often feel bad about themselves, especially if they are subconscious developed, ESFP developed, which is what I would call subconscious focused in the past, previously, they all have this problem where it’s like, you know, I need to have the accolades out there, that gives me this deep respect.

And if I’m not doing that, then I’m going to feel less of a person, it’s really hard for these women to actually be submissive, extremely difficult, because if they are submissive, they actually end up feeling bad about themselves, their FYI, child feels bad about themselves. So it’s really hard for them to actually be submissive, very difficult, very, very difficult. And they have to learn how to be submissive. Because guess what, that’s what’s actually going to gain them reverence as women, that’s what’s gonna gain them deep respect as women by being submissive, because here’s the thing, if you’re an INTJ, I don’t care what gender you are, if you’re an INTJ, if you’re gonna get deep respect from anybody, you have to learn how to show respect first.

So it’s like an investment, you’re making an investment through Wi Fi child, you’re investing in other people, and you’re showing them deep respect. If those people give you deep respect back more than what you put into it, that’s what we call blessing, or the same that you put into them. That’s pretty, that’s decent, it’s balanced at that point, it’s a curse, if you’re giving them the perspective, you’re getting less out of it than what you’re putting in, well, then that would basically mean your relationship is cursed, you might want to avoid that might want to reconsider that relationship. So deep respect, right? Now, if my INTJ X was in a relationship with like, for example, Andrew Tate, you know, he’s all about satisfaction.

So he’s, he’s happy with giving her reverence, he’s happy with giving her that deep respect, even a point where there’s people out there that would accuse Andrew Tate of actually being more beta because of that. But no, he doesn’t care about that reverence as much, it’s just a secondary trait. And primarily, he just wants satisfaction. And as long as this woman, this INTJ, ex of mine, in this hypothetical scenario, was giving him and satisfying him consistently, he would give her that deep respect, consistently, it’s a trade, everyone’s getting their cognitive origin, what they’re really craving and looking for out of life.

It’s all about this cognitive origin, right? So in this hypothetical scenario, it’s not really actually bait of him to be doing this, because he’s getting what he’s looking for. And that is ultimately satisfaction. Doesn’t matter what your cognitive focus is, doesn’t matter how your human nurture is impacted. Everyone still wants their cognitive origin.

Regardless, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter where your development is, it doesn’t matter where your focus is, doesn’t matter where your Octa gram is it doesn’t matter. Origin is king. Right? So my auntie J x and at will have to end up developing the skill, where she is submissive enough to be able to show deep respect to others, especially her i are ENFP lover.

Right. And then as a result, he will return that back to her in the form of deep respect towards her. And one of the ways that she could do that is that when she is presenting facts and truths to this ENFP lover of hers to her ENFP boyfriend, when she is actually going out of her way to do this for him. You know, that is how she’s being submissive if she does it in a way where she is showing how it will benefit him personally, or how it will gain him additional justification, and preferably via the route presented in shadow pool.

If you guys want to know what that means, you might want to go watch the deadly sin of wrath lecture at CS joseph.ly. Forward slash members of CS Joseph dot life forward slash portal in the journeyman section. That’s how to do it. But for the sake of this video, I’m going to be explaining the why.

And the why is he’s looking for justification so that he knows what he’s allowed to do. So he doesn’t feel like less of a person. So it doesn’t feel soulless. So he doesn’t always have to feel like he’s always having to get away with something he just be a good person.

And if he’s allowed to do it, because he’s triple affiliative, because he has that justification that he’s looking for. Then bingo, he’s going to return that back to her in the form of additional reverence, because that’s what she’s looking for. She’s looking for this deep respect, right? And that’s one of the main reasons why her and I have always had such a rocky interaction between each other. Because all that reverence that she craved, I wouldn’t give it to her.

Why? Because she wouldn’t give me the satisfaction that I crave, like at all, like at all. So that’s kind of where things just kind of didn’t work out for us. But within the context of this companion and relationships she’s in, she definitely has an opportunity to do so. And this is how and why oh, this, this is what she would do to do that she just probably should learn more about the shadow pole.

And how that works from a temple exploration perspective, the temple wheel basically as presented in the deadly sin of wrath lecture, right. So yeah, that’s what’s going on. That’s how you alleviate the emotional incompatibility when it comes to an INTJ versus ENFJ pedagogue companion relationship, right? That’s how you do it. You just have to realize, what is this person’s cognitive origin? What can I do to get it for them, and hopefully, they’re giving my origin in return.

It’s kind of like an exchange, right? That’s literally how sexual relationships work. And that could be, it’s not just in sexuality, but it’s also emotionally, that’s where the emotional compatibility comes into place. Now, if you’re in a relationship, where you lack emotional compatibility, you just have to understand that this what their origins are, and just give them what their origins are, give him that justification. And he should be giving you the reverence, problem solved.

And that way, you won’t have to be like, emailing your EMTP ex about advice for you to have a good relationship with this ENFP. Regardless, I have to applaud her courage in doing so, because, you know, at least she’s trying at least there’s potentially an opportunity, she’s actually trying to make this relationship work. She just doesn’t have all the information because guess what, folks, we really don’t have all the information out there. I mean, especially when you look at men and women, from the context of the red pill, the red pill is cool and all but the red pill also leaves out certain issues when it comes to how people naturally behave, and also how their human nurture actually impacts.

Yes, it’s an amazing study in behavioral psychology and looking at the genders from a very general perspective. But you only really see the forest. What about the trees, right? That’s where I come in. I’m explaining these trees so that people can have a better relationship.

And hopefully they do. Hopefully, they do have a better relationship. Hopefully, their relationship doesn’t have the same pitfalls that her and I had years ago. So yeah.

Am I folks, I think that definitely beats this horse to death. And the corpse has now been turned into mush, or dog food, I guess we’ll say. So yeah, thanks for watching and listening. And I’ll see you guys in the next episode.