CS Joseph Responds to the Acolyte question how can I keep an ISTP & ISFP friendship healthy? Presented by Chris Taylor, aka Raka.
Welcome to the CSS podcast. I’m your host for this episode Chris Taylor, bringing you another acolyte question. I suppose it’s more of an acolyte topic today. And today’s topic is conflicts between ISTP and ISFP friends explained.
Now, there are two dynamics when it comes to interpersonal relationships to be considered here. First and foremost is synchronicity, also known as compatibility. And this is cognitive functions in the ego stack like n e to Ni, functions that essentially feed into each other. And then there is asynchronicity, also known as camaraderie.
And this is when you share the same functional axis in the ego, or in the shadow essentially, if it’s up in the top half, or for both, or down in the bottom half for both. So, with ISTPs, and ISFPs, what’s that look like here. So on the synchronicity side, the compatibility side, we have for ISFPs, a fi hero to the ISTPs ti hero, which means that the axis completes from hero to inferior, your ISFPs have that FY hero to Te inferior, that te inferior goes to the ISTPs ti hero down to the ISTPs Fe inferior and up to the ISFPs Eph eye hero. This is synchronicity or compatibility.
Then, they both not only are se ni users, but they are both se parents and I child. And then if you go into the bottom half of the mind, the same pattern exists its nemesis, the demon, and for the compatibility side and or camaraderie side, or compatibility side or the synchronicity side. And you have si critic and any trickster on the camaraderie or asynchronicity sign for the duration of the video, I’m personally just going to say compatibility camaraderie. Not that any term is better than the other, it’s just going to make the conversation a little easier if I pick that one and stick with it, but understand they’re synonymous if I end up using one or the other in this case.
Now what does compatibility versus camaraderie look like as far as interpersonal relationships. So, compatibility is ideal for face to face problems. Right. So if you are trying to grow, essentially, then you want that face to face compatibility, because they’re going to offer the perspectives that you’re ultimately looking for ego to ego and makes life a little easier to exist in your ego while around them.
This is nice to a degree for interpersonal relationships. But understand that having those other perspectives with that comes challenge from the standpoint of if they perceive that you’re missing a side of the coin, they’re going to more than likely bring this up. And so, you are always subject to a degree of the other half of that complete cognitive circuit. Whereas with camaraderie, when there is external problems, this is nice in interpersonal relationships.
Camaraderie is nice for that because you can sit shoulder to shoulder and kind of discuss those things that you’re either seeing or making judgments on similarly. And so it’s kind of like a thick as thieves situation when it comes to camaraderie. The weakness to this is the camaraderie side of things isn’t going to provide a fresh perspective. So when you’re in a friendship like this, you’re both subject to the same issues.
And this can get more problematic if any of the problems go from the external to the internal. So when you’re talking about synchronicity, it’s good for problem solving face to face. But you’re going to run into problems when you’re dealing with something external to the relationship, because you’re going to have different judgments or different viewpoints on the thing external to the friendship. So both of these can be problematic individually in their own ways.
They can also be good in their own ways. But let’s get in to some of the like, what what is the overall idea with? friendships? As far as is it more face to face or more shoulder to shoulder? Typically speaking, friendships are sought out more so as a shoulder to shoulder relationship. It the camaraderie of the shoulder to shoulder aspect of a synchronicity allows you both to sit there and go, Oh, yeah, ha, this is funny, or, oh, yeah, this is, you know, BS or what have you, because you’re both able to arrive at either the same perceptions or the same judgments. In the ISFP and ISTP.
case, this is se parent and ni child that we’re predominantly referring to, when we’re talking about camaraderie. So when it’s when the problem is external, you’re both of these types are going to perceive the situation. Similarly. There’s a little bit into the humor of any tricksters and enjoying absurd things, the the unexpected of life, so to speak, because they walk around blind to consequence, it is entertaining, to a degree to them when something just absolutely off the wall happens in the real world that was unexpected.
It’s, it’s kind of a little bit of the joy of the child and a little bit of the amusement of the Trickster to a degree. And so when these two are together, and operating shoulder to shoulder, they’re able to see these things and see them the same exact way, almost up into the point where a judgment is involved on the observation, and that’s where things keep. Now, the problem with this, though, is that when they are observing the same things going on in their environment, through se parents, or pursuing similar things with ni, child, they’re both artisans, they’re both SPS, they both have a respect for freedom of choice, because there’s no child wants to be able to be free to make choices itself, it doesn’t want to be hindered in that. So the camaraderie comes in again, in the standpoint of oftentimes, they’re going to allow each other the space to make decisions to pursue things.
And there’s a bit of enablement there in that regard, just because of that. Now, where does this kind of end up taking issue? Where can this lead? Well, when these two types get really, really close to each other, their se parent obviously does not want the other person to have poor discipline, just by virtue of se parent, they are expecting the other person to be responsible with their discipline, and the way that they handle things, and they’re expecting the other person to be loyal to them. So when an issue that’s external, all of a sudden comes between this, because they’re seeing the same thing, maybe they’re involved in a group of friends together, and all of a sudden, there’s drama in this group of friends. And the ISTP is like, well, this person’s really not being a good person.
Like, we both see the same thing happening. But this person is not being a good person, this person’s really just treating other people poorly. Or maybe they’re being a hypocrite. And they’re looking at that.
And all of a sudden, the ISFP is like, Oh, well, that’s fine. It doesn’t bother me. It doesn’t affect me. Or maybe it’s the reverse.
Maybe the maybe the ISFP is taking issue with this group. And the is set. ISTP is saying, Well, no, it makes sense. It’s logical.
Like it’s understandable that this kind of dynamic or this thing is happening. You Because of XY and Z and the ISTP starts to lay out the logic of the situation. Well, now we’ve transitioned from seeing the same thing through se parent and se parent to all of a sudden there’s a conflict. Okay, there’s a conflict in the judgments that they’re arriving at, in this external issue, and then the issue can very quickly devolve from Oh, this is a problem with them to wait, why are you supporting this? I don’t understand.
Because we’re supposed to, you know, be friends, we’re like, there’s a almost lack of respect that ends up happening because of this, this conflict. And so all of a sudden, there is room. Right? So si critic gets hit by se parent. Then it goes to any trickster, or any tricksters going well, what was your intention with this? What was your intention not to be loyal to me.
We’re going from the critic to the Trickster up to the parent. And so you can have these issues where with between the parent child trickster and critic, all of a sudden that circuit is going ego to shadow and criticizing the other person. That’s one major thing that can happen. That can be kind of the the splinter that gets infected in this relationship that they that they’re having.
And this gets even more so it gets to be an issue, if they are suddenly trying to manage the other person, because now that this fracture has happened, now, it’s like, oh, like, I have to correct this person’s behavior. They’re either there, this is where the Trickster comes in, this is going to lead them towards a bad future. And the divide grows, because they’re both likely to do it to each other because of that parent, critic trickster child loop that’s going on that they’re going to end up mirroring this between each other, especially since one involved is an ISTP. And so what will end up happening is, they’ll try to help correct the other person’s behavior from an SE parent, from an SE parent to their hero standpoint, the ISFP is going, what you’re doing, I don’t value and the ISTP is going what you’re doing doesn’t make sense.
This can really be a problem in this relationship, if it ends up turning that way. And it can be yours, where they, where it’s not a problem, there can be years can go by, in this relationship in this friendship, where this isn’t a problem until something comes up. That is either strong enough that the ISTP is convicted to what they believe all the way down to their demon function. Or it bothers that si hero that badly.
You also have to consider that, while you have si hero on one side, you have si demon on the other side. Well, they both share te Nemesis or Fe Nemesis and ti inferior or Fe inferior. So their inferiors are both looking at those hero functions in the demon functions and seeing what is going on between those two. Now if this ends up happening, then you have the inferior not sure if he can be around this person’s hero function anymore because this inferior or nemesis, depending its Nemesis to demon or inferior to hero in this relationship.
So one of two things either, Hey, your hero is just not doing what it should. I’m concerned as a result, the FE inferior is going I’m concerned that I’m going to take on your beliefs that I don’t see as making sense. The TE inferior is going I don’t feel good about what you’re doing. And I’m afraid that it’s going to impact my reputation.
And that same thing is happening between the nemesis in the demon function on the other side and usually more often They’re not it’s a little more extreme on that side of the spectrum going, okay? You have you just like the demon comes out. It’s like, whoa, hey, that was a lot like that was a lot to deal with. And I’m worried, right, the same thing happening on both sides of the spectrums. But before all of that happens, you can go a long time without having very strong convictions one way or the other.
Both of these types do happen to try to have a level of freedom of the other person’s choice. But they these two types can also very much judge each other. Once that divide happens. That’s one of the biggest causes in my, in my opinion, from what I’ve seen in my life.
Now there’s also a degree of competition between the inferior and nemesis, right? Where t inferior is worried about how much is being studied, they’re less likely to stupid zone than te nemesis, they’re more likely to just be uncomfortable with what the other person is saying or doing. And there is an aspect to where both the Nemesis and inferior can stupid zone but more often than not, it is the Nemesis That is stupid zoning with Te nemesis. Others because of a lack of research. And so the TE nemesis of the ISTP can end up just stupid zoning somebody and not putting any more effort into trying to help the other person ti inferior is going Hey, ti hero you haven’t considered I’m worried that you haven’t considered everything.
Is it all bad? Is it doomed to fail as a relationship? No. But you need to understand these pitfalls between these two types. Otherwise, it can create a rift that just grows and grows and grows and eventually ends up breaking apart. These two types can be very stubborn though too.
And that is one thing that will that will help that relationship. Stay together just help that friendship stay together as but if those issues don’t get fully addressed, then you’re more than likely just to spiral out of each other’s orbit or door slam each other. Anyway, if you found this lecture useful, helpful insightful. Leave a comment below, hit that subscribe button.
And I will catch you guys on the next episode.