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Is the ISTJ narcissist? Before I can answer, please subsc- please consider subscribing to the channel so I can always ensure my cat is being fed, and hit the alert bell so you can be notified when I go live. That being said, what is up, ego hackers? I am CS Joseph here to answer your questions on all things Jungian analytical psychology, the Four Sides of the Mind, and also known as Four Sides Dynamics, and the source of today’s question is Quora and so, let’s do a deep dive, shall we? Is the ISTJ narcissist, and three answers have been provided on Quora thus far. We have John Alas living in Snohomish County, Washington. I used to live there. He says not necessarily. According to the dictionary.com definition, narcissism is one, an inordinate fascination with oneself, excessive self-love, or vanity, two, psychoanalysis, erotic gratification derived from admiration of one’s own physical or mental attributes, being a normal condition at the infantile level of personality development. While there may be some ISTJs that fit these attributes, I get the feeling that we are more likely to be misunderstood and pegged as narcissists than other types because of our inward nature. Lower levels of engagement with others could be mistaken for selfishness and haughtiness when those traits are not common in introverts. For further reference, this Psychology Today article which he provides the link, delves more into spotting narcissistic behavior. None of these correlate with the general ISTJ demeanor. Okay, so then we have, Richard Haslam, part of the Wikimedia Volunteer Response Team, OTRS, apparently that’s important, ISTJs do have that critiquing side of our personality, along with more than our fair share of thinking we are right. Yeah, because they’re constantly being like, well, I’m automatically right by default. As long as I can convince you that you haven’t actually done enough research because I’m always going to ask you to your face, how do you know that? Even though I’m not actually gonna spend any time verifying myself, however, narcissistic souls hate being challenged or thought wrong. The ISTJ reason loving means that we are, on average, and obviously quite happy for people to disagree with us. Yeah, even to the point of just ignoring those people. It gives us something to discuss. We also don’t require everyone else to like us or think we are right. That requires an exhausting, to us, degree of social butterflying. That’s accurate, very true. I suspect we are more, more than likely most to give a sense of narcissism in the first 30, first 30 seconds of talking to us, but any longer chat would show we are not. Okay, fair points. Those are fair points. All right, so now, we have Margaret Hall Dupre, former retired Jill of all trades from 1963 to 2006. I don’t know what that means. The ISTJ isn’t necessarily a narcissist. My ex narc was an extreme extrovert. He required constant attaboys to feel alive. I’m an introvert. He’d dropped me off at a table, and then work the room to feed his insatiable desire for attention. Okay, yeah, that’s accurate, and sounds very ESTP, quite frankly. All right, so is the ISTJ narcissist? The answer to that question is no. No, it’s, they’re not narcissist. They just look narcissistic. Why do they look narcissistic? It’s because they’re constantly aware of their own self worth. They’re constantly aware of what makes them comfortable at all times, and based on that, they’re trying so hard to, They’re trying so hard to make sure that nothing is impacting that Zen in a negative way. One of the reasons why, for example, I knew this ISTJ co-worker of mine. We used to work at a hospital together, and she would have this home, and in her home, she would not let anyone in her home because her extrovert sensing nemesis would not allow, she was so worried that the Zen of her home would change such that it would just be a lot of chaos that she couldn’t even handle, and it’s funny because she was in a relationship with an ISTP guy and she had a hard time just even allowing him inside her home, and of course, he would accuse her of being narcissistic when the reality of the situation is, she’s so used to people in her life destroying her home when they come over, and not respecting where everything is, and she just doesn’t want to have that experience again, and yes, technically, she’s projecting that experience on him, and not giving him the opportunity to potentially respect the locations of her things, and where things are, and keep her house clean, et cetera, and that is important to her, but, and he would come to know that that is important her, but she didn’t give him a chance until probably six months to a year within their sexual relationship, so pretty rough, but that’s basically the direction that she would go with in that situation, and based on that, people just need to realize that doesn’t mean an ISTJ is narcissistic. They’re obsessed with their own comfort because oftentimes, they have to be obsessed with their comfort because no one else is, and they have to take care of themselves even though, technically speaking, an ISTJ could also find themselves comfortable in almost any location, any time, any place. They can find it. They can create it. They can make it happen. Comfort is everything to an ISTJ, and then, there’s also their mood, and they make decisions based on their mood, and then, when it’s combined with their comfort, they’re only making decisions based on their mood and their comfort because of introverted sensing, a hero and introverted feeling, child, these things come into play, and then they take their reputation very seriously, how they look by, in front of other people, how they’re perceived by other people, how they’re taken by other people because they are so afraid of being unwanted, and that is a typical issue that they have all the time. So oftentimes, people label them narcissists, and it’s extremely hurtful to an ISTJ. It’s extremely painful because it’s like, wow, do I have the reputation of being a narcissist? They start really feeling really bad about themselves. They start worrying about the experiences that they’re giving other people, and worst of all, they absolutely feel unwanted. Do not call an ISTJ a narcissist. Instead, tell them that they’re being selfish as a result of them lacking in gratitude. All you have to do to get an ISTJ to seem less narcissistic is actually remind them of what they need to be grateful for. Remind them of the things that have been given to them, and remind them that is their duty to give back to other people, and then when that happens, and they go out of their way, and they are reminded of their duty, they actually do carry it out. A narcissist wouldn’t do that, but ISTJs will rise to the occasion when they are criticized. Wait a minute. That’s why ESTPs exist, to, as their golden pear to criticize the ISTJ, to get the ISTJ, to wake up and realize how ungrateful the ISTJ is, so again folks, no the ISTJ is not being a narcissist. They just look like they’re being a narcissist because they are ungrateful. However, if they are being grateful, an ISTJ, looks at some of the most selfless people that you’ve ever seen, some of those dedicated, reliable, selfless people who actually care, and that’s fantastic, especially when they do volunteer work, especially when they read a bunch of books, and are helping people think about things properly, and they’re trying to go out of their way to make sure other people around them are not as ignorant. That’s fantastic. Again, it really comes down to gratitude. Gratitude is the key to the ISTJ, and not seeming like a narcissist, very important folks. 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