Is Saying Not Yet to an INTJ leading Them On? | CS Joseph Responds
CS Joseph Responds to the Acolyte question is saying not yet to an INTJ leading them on?
Welcome to the CSS, the podcast. I’m your host, CS Joseph, and it is starting to get a little chilly in here. So I am going to put on my beanie because one of my beatings, I like this one. Because I mean, I like Carhartt a lot.
I wear a lot of current wearing car pants right now actually black ones. And it’s really comfy. And I Do I Do I Do work outside. So it’s like really cold sometimes.
So but but yeah, it’s it’s comfy. And I can also wear my headphones without it hurting my ears. So I like wearing this beanie. So it’s pretty convenient, although I like my North Face one too.
So but I can’t really wear my headphones with those. And it makes it hard to film with those. But yeah, that being said, today’s question is INTJ related. Apparently, this is the INTJ intp questions month.
So this is the fourth one that I’ve looked at so far. And the question is, is saying not yet to an INTJ? The same as leading them on? Ah, what a great question. So I can totally see where like the INTJ is coming from by asking such a question. Because like they have an E nemesis, and they’re just worried that whoever the friend is, or whoever their lover is, or maybe even a family member, maybe a co worker, maybe it’s their boss, I don’t know.
But they just worry about the day coming where that person will just not want them anymore, that person will just decide to arbitrarily or not even arbitrarily, maybe they’re afraid that they’ll fail in such a way which would cause another person to just not want them anymore. And ultimately abandon them. INTJ is really worry about that. And they they they want to make themselves desirable.
So people stick around and actually want and are choosing to stick around because it as much as they themselves choose to be around their friends and family and lovers, etc. So it wouldn’t make sense that an INTJ would ask, you know, is saying not yet to an INTJ the same as leading them on the reason and the way this this question is coming from it’s coming from. I did the eight rules for love for INTJ episode recently season 26 playlist here on this YouTube channel here in the podcast, please listen to it’s awesome. But I did I basically said like for Rule four, you know, INTJ is are so afraid of rejection and they take rejection harder even than INFJs do because of FYI, Child’s combining with their se inferior.
And because they because they have a hard time dealing with the rejection. I basically tell everyone in the audience, you know, hey, don’t reject the INTJ. Just say yes or not yet. Because not yet means it’s like it’s a maybe it’s a it’s a thing that’s coming for later, basically.
And you know, a lot INTJ is out there balked at that. And they’re like, well, you’re just leading me on then. And I’m like, No, it’s not. It’s not leading on.
Here’s why. Because if I tell an INTJ not yet, it’s technically a promise. It’s technically a promise. It’s me basically saying like, Yeah, we’ll definitely do that just not right now.
That’s all it is. It’s not saying that for and if an INTJ is going to believe me, or if an INTJ is going to believe that me saying not yet equals leading them on, then that just means they’re just in their paranoid vise. And they don’t actually trust me with me being an intp if I’m going to, like steal the spotlight right now and make this all about me, you know, on my own podcast, oh, you know, how dare see it shows that, you know, they are my golden pair after all. So I think I get to have an opinion here about this.
But the reality of the situation is is that like, if an INTJ is that paranoid around me and when I tell them not yet, and they’re assuming that means never, like, they were there they’re assuming that’s me leading them on that literally logically means that they’re really actually saying that they don’t trust me. And trust is my number one need, I need to be trusted because already people are they judge me, like book from his cover the other Supercell like I said in the previous episode, you know, and like, it’s really frustrating, like, it’s, it’s annoying, it’s insanely annoying to me, and I just don’t, I just don’t want to have anything to do with that. I really don’t. So if they if they’re so like, if there’s a claim that I’m leading them on when I say not yet that just actually proves how effed up their behavior actually is.
They’re not actually being a good person. They’re being mega paranoid. They’re very useful. Now me saying not yet isn’t actually an opportunity for an INTJ to prove that they’re living in their virtue, and they’re going to trust me to keep my promise of saying Not yet.
Should, or at least keep my word basically, because it’s me giving them a word. Yeah, we’ll definitely do that together, just not right now. You know, like, there’s nothing wrong with that there’s nothing wrong with me saying, I just can’t do that. Because like, again NTPs sometimes we need the space to be able to spend our attention on ourselves and not be completely overwhelmed or stifled by people.
It’s a big freakin deal, folks. It’s a big deal. Okay. So like, what are you going to do about it? You know what I’m saying? So, the only way to do that is just like, you know, let’s not.
Sometimes I need to be able to have the space to say not yet, like, come on, you know, I don’t want to reject you. I never want to reject an INTJ. I’m not really into rejecting anybody. Let’s be honest.
I don’t like it. I actually feel really bad about myself. And I know other MPs do, we don’t like rejecting, but especially the INTJ, because there’s so sensitive about it, but like, Yeah, I’m going to be like, Yo, not yet. But if they’re going to accuse me and tell me that like, Oh, you’re just leading me on? Am I okay? That means you don’t actually believe me, you don’t actually trust me enough to actually say not yet to you any me anyway.
So why are you my friend? Why are we in a relationship? Why are we married? You know, why are we together? Why are more am I working for you? Why are you working for me? You know, that kind of thing. And this is actually how an INTJ can use this because this, this is a self fulfilling prophecy. This is how an INTJ can sabotage their own life and actually cause me to reject them. If the INTJ is literally claiming that I’m just leading them on, guess what, then I’m going to reject them.
I’m going to abandon them. Because, you know, the NTP point of view, why bother? Why bother at this point, you’re not meeting my need, you’re not trusting me, or at least a better way of saying it, that my intp friend Dave Lancaster told me one point in time. And Dave, if you’re watching this, shout out to you, bro, I miss you. You’re good, man.
Seriously, you’re very good man. He said, You know, if I’m gonna do the time, I may as well do the crime. And that story came from the fact that like, when he was little kid, his brother was playing with a baseball and a baseball bat and hit the ball through a window, broke the window. And then his dad came home.
And then his brother blamed him, basically claimed that Dave is the one who broke the window. And then his dad went and got his belt, and, you know, believed his brother and was going to beat him for it. So what Dave did is he went to a different window and broke that window. And they looked at his dad and said, Well, if I’m gonna do the time, I may as well do the crime, basically, because his dad just arbitrarily believed his brother over him, right? Well, that’s how you INTJ is make us feel when you’re, when you’re claiming that we’re just leading you on when you when we’re saying to you just not yet.
So you’re actually just being entitled, and you’re being selfish. Basically, you’re being entitled to my attention. You’re being you’re being selfish about my attention, basically, you’re not giving me the space that I need, even though I give you space all the time, because I have no choice but to give you space, because I have se demon and se demon is all about giving people space. And then any hero is all about giving choices.
I’m not taking away your freedom, and I’m giving you space whenever you want it basically, especially when we go out and go to like social things. And then like I’m always giving you an escape plan. But you know, you don’t respect me enough to say like not yet. Really, you just think I’m leading you on? Really? You don’t think I’m a person of my word? Really? Really? You’re just some paranoid asshole.
That’s what you are. You see what I’m saying? Like you’re being entitled. Okay? So how about you stop being so worried and so paranoid about my possibility or, or my potential to abandon you or reject you or betray you, when the reality of the situation is, you are actually making that more likely to happen, because you’re making the claim that I’m leading you on, when that’s not actually reality? What you need to do is actually trust me when I say not yet and realize that you just hold me at my word, okay? Because not only does that give you an opportunity to trust me, but it also gives me an opportunity to prove that I’m trustworthy, which is something that is integral to an NP, especially in NTP, okay, especially in the NTP. You see what I’m saying, for you like you’re golden pair, so you might want to like, figure that out, folks.
So, so no, it is not the same thing as leading them on and if you think it is the same thing as leading you on, that means you’re paranoid as an INTJ. You’re an INTJ that is not worthy of anyone being in a sexual relationship with at all. I would actually instruct people to have anything to do with you. You’re not an INTJ that is even capable of performing well, you know, as a result, which is also very annoying.
And like, you’re just being entitled to everyone’s attention around you and you are putting your thinking yourself more highly than you want to. Because let’s be honest, INTJ is y’all are not that special. I get that you’re like oh I INTJ masteries and whatnot, but you’re not that special. Okay? So when someone tells you not yet, you need to show them some respect, you need to show them some trust.
And if they fail on that, well then that’s how you know that that’s how, you know you could door slam them. Okay? That’s how you know you can cut them out of the life. That’s fine. You know, that’s it, like you can see as a little test for that person.
But that but seriously, if you don’t give them the space, you know, to do that, like, and you’re just playing that leading them on like, Oh my God, why does your problem like seriously grow up? You want to know why you’ve never had really good relationships in your life? Probably because you’re too paranoid. Okay, because remember, if I’m going to do the time I may as well do the crime. So yeah, don’t do that. Alright, so anyway, yeah, I think I think I’ve beat this dead horse pretty hard.
So so yeah. Anyway, folks, thanks for watching. Thanks for listening. I’ll see you guys tonight you can you take in the cave you