CS Joseph Responds to the Acolyte question how can an INTJ survive with Muslim constraints being triple pragmatic.
Transcript:
Hey what’s up yo hackers, welcome to the CS Joseph podcast. I’m your host CS Joseph. Today we have a fascinating acolyte question. How can I as an INTJ woman, survive or get through being in a strict Muslim family? Wow, what a question.
And honestly, I will admit that I am not the best person to answer this question. I am not a practicing Muslim. Although I have studied the Quran I have studied Hadith. Still, I’m really not the best person I my belief system.
While I am very accepted, accepting of Islam and very accepting of Muslim people in the world, much to the chagrin of potentially my family. You know, I am not one I am not one reason I not is because I take huge umbrage with some aspects of Hadith. And for the most part, I reject Hadith in the same way that I reject the Council of Nicaea, the Council of Trent and the Council of Carthage, according to the Catholic Church, as well, for my own belief system, I just I have no choice but to reject Hadith and if I did convert to Islam, I would basically be a Koran honest and have nothing to do with Hadith. And most people use this one little line in the Quran to justify accepting Hadith basically, as part of the Muslim canon, which I just I just can’t I think that’s a stretch, I really do.
And I’m not saying this to piss off the Muslim audience, the Muslim ego hackers out there, it’s just my extroverted thinking critic, you know, and utilizing critical thinking for, you know, in terms of any religious text, I just, I just can’t do it, I just can’t. Furthermore, I have additional, I have additional issues with, with the Prophet Muhammad, and as much as I would have issues with Joseph Smith of Mormonism, and various other people, you know, throughout, I just, I just have some problems. But at the end of the day, that doesn’t mean that I can’t be an open minded person and learn and grow as every day goes by, I’m not I’m not here to, you know, make a problem or say negative things about Islam. I’d say negative things about my own belief system as well, trust me, like, like all sacred cows will be slaughtered at my feet no matter what.
Because at the end of the day, I just want to know what the truth is, at the end of the day, right. But I’m not, I’m not going to be here and be credulous, like my father would hope that I would be. Because, you know, he likes to project INFP onto me and hope that I would be credulous, like an INFP, is hoping that I would respect his authority as a man of God as a pastor, etc, and just take his word, take him at his word, which I learned a long time ago that I just can’t I can’t take my father at his word. And he hates that he hates that about me.
Which I totally understand. He’s got ti inferior. I mean, what do you expect, right? I don’t I don’t blame him for this. He’s just being who he is.
And I accept him for who he is. I just wish that the day would come that he would accept me for who I am. But you know, one thing at a time, one day maybe, who knows. I don’t blame him.
He is who He is. And that’s that. Live and let live, something really important. an INTJ woman in a Muslim family, a strict Muslim family.
Islam, just like any other organized religion is still an affiliative construct. It’s about a group of people setting up rules, regulations for living. And affiliative people there on this team, they all are very accepting of authority in the Quran being their authority, and Hadith also being their authority, and living as a result, you know, it’s like, if I was in a relationship, for example, with a Muslim woman, I’d be like, Yeah, you don’t have to wear a hijab. I don’t care if that’s even against your beliefs, belief system, I just, I’ll never ask that of you.
In fact, I would tell you not to wear one because I want you to, I want to be able to see your beauty. I and I want that beauty to be projected, you know, to like everyone, you know, like, because, like, it’s even something I’ve told Railgun I’m like, You are a representation of me, especially when you go out in public, I expect you to be beautiful. Like, if men are, like, not attracted to you. What does that say about me? You know what I’m saying from that perspective, you know, so, you know, and I take that very seriously, but like, but for an INTJ woman to be in a strict affiliative Islamic Muslim family? Well, it sucks.
It sucks for them because they’re triple pragmatic as a woman. And everything about them is all about freedom. So they oftentimes these INTJ women are forced to wear masks within the context of their family, they’re not actually allowed to be who they are, because being who they are, is actually very counter to their own culture, it’s also countered, potentially to the Muslim belief system, it’s very difficult for them. And, wow, you know, I, my heart goes out to people who are stuck in belief systems, you know, I grew up in a cult.
Now, it’s very rough, you know, and there are people within this community that I know that are currently in cults, and don’t really know what to do or how to go, because their entire life, their entire view on life is based on their participation. And their family judges them based on their level of participation within their cult, and I feel really bad for those people, my heart goes out to them, you know, and, and you know, who you are. And I am talking about you specifically. You know, especially a forest and and book, who have that issue going on in their life, you know, my heart goes out to you to thank you for participating in the community anyway.
And I know that what you to face in your life is rough, I’ve been there, I really have been there. I’ve also been a victim of, you know, cults and in these various belief systems, and I know it is a victim from, you know, participating in them, but also a victim from people who do participate in them. And they become, you know, they take away opportunities to take away my freedom of choice, or they don’t accept me, because I do not believe the same that they do. You know, and that’s, that’s a huge problem.
And INTJ is, you know, they’re the same way like INTJ is, you know, their, their god functions, according to the heart Temple is Introverted intuition and Extraverted Feeling. So from an INTJ perspective, they always they’re trying to figure out a way to be accepted, right. But if they don’t follow this belief system, as is, then they know, they’re not going to be accepted, especially by the people that are closest to them, especially by the people that should accept them, because they’re a blood relative, right. And also, their freedom of choice is also going to be inhibited.
You know, I, I’m any hero, you know, I don’t take freedom of choice away. You know, I especially like women in my life throughout my life, like I don’t, I don’t take away the freedom of choice. They can do whatever they want. Literally, sure, I’ll tell them like, hey, well, you could do whatever you want.
If you make these decisions, this is how I’m going to respond. So I would prefer you not make the decision. So I don’t have to respond in such a negative way. But still, at the end of the day, it’s your choice, you get to make that choice, right? Not here to take away anyone’s choice.
The problem is with organized religion, organized religion often takes away people’s freedom of choice, especially, you know, INTJ women. So literally, honestly, what is my advice, my advice is just continue to wear your mask. INTJ is out of all the 16 types wear one mask constantly, and it’s fake. And they wear it for everyone.
And once they finally decide to you know, for example, an INTJ woman to choose like their man in their life and choose their husband, they’ll take off their mask just for him. And literally no one else, they won’t even take off their masks for their children most times. Because as soon as they choose someone, they’re at the risk of their si demon becoming attached to that person, they can’t let go that person. But there that one person is the only person that their si demon would ever feel safe enough to take off their mask and really reveal who they truly are to person.
This is why si demon has such high value, basically. And it’s time and attention is literally treasure because they’re not willing to take off that mask for just anyone. So my advice to an INTJ woman who’s in a strict family, just play by the rules, but never really buy into it. Unless unless you do buy into it, then go for it.
But if you don’t just wear your mask, wear your mask until you find a man out there. Who you can take your mask off. Who has a similar value set that you have. Like if you don’t want to wear a hijab, you want to find a man that will make sure that you don’t have to wear hijab, and that’s okay.
It’s entirely okay. You know, cleave to him, you know, serve Him, submit to Him. But make sure the man that you’re submitting to will give you that freedom will give you that acceptance that you look for freedom and acceptance that is not derived from an organized religion, freedom and acceptance that is derived from your relationship, freedom and acceptance that he would just give you because you’re you. And it has nothing to do with organized religion has nothing to do with the affiliative it just has everything to do with you personally.
So you have to wait. Naturally, no, because you’re in this family. You have to respect your father you have to submit to your father but eventually a man will come along and then you submit to Him. And hopefully the man you submit to will give you that freedom.
So obviously when you’re the Looking at your considering suitors for yourself, or considering men who participate in your culture, maybe that man rejects Hadith, and maybe he has a Koran test, and it go have a relationship with Him, because it’s likely that he would be he would be happy and delight in your pragmatism and give you the freedom that you want, as much as the acceptance that you’re looking for. It’s really hard for an INTJ to determine that level of acceptance. Because they have extorted feeling trickster they have no clue what is acceptable. They don’t.
But if the man in their life is telling them what is acceptable, and that in that acceptability is based on freedom, and empowering his INTJ woman with freedom and freedom of choice, that is the man she should we go after that, as I mentioned, used to hold out for that as the man that she used to wear her mask within her family and survived behind that mask so that when that man goes in her life, she can take off her mask for him and only him, right. Just like a woman who is Muslim, takes off for a job or takes off all these extra clothes, these extra coverings, specifically when they’re at home among their husbands, right? Because that’s it, they have that freedom to do so. So find a man that will facilitate that environment of freedom and acceptance. Maybe in the context of your organized religion, or maybe not in the context of organized religion, I don’t know, because not all men are created, you know, equal in that regard some men you know, some, some Muslim men are a little bit looser, because they apply critical thinking to their belief system, and some of them are not.
But you really got to count the cost. You know, sometimes women INTJ women making this decision will actually lose their family. And I had the honor and privilege of getting to know one recently within the community who had to also also has the same fears and has to make the same choices. And my heart goes out to her because it’s a really rough situation.
It’s really rough being an INTJ while being part of Hussam culture and having that secret desire, or that maybe might not be a seeker desire, but the desire to not participate in the culture and wear a hijab if she doesn’t want to, you know, literally the only advice I can give because I’m not exactly an expert on on this particular organized religion. I know more than most but I’m not an expert. Literally just wear your mask within your family. And wait till you find a man who gives you that freedom and acceptance to be who you are and who loves you for who you are, and not loves you based on your belief system.
A man who doesn’t put the belief system above you basically would be my advice. So anyway, thanks for watching and listening, and I’ll see you guys in the next episode.
