How INFJ and INFP can improve each other in Marriage | CS Joseph Responds
CS Joseph responds to the Acolyte question how can an INFJ and INFP improve each other in Marriage. Presented by Chris Taylor, aka Raka.
Transcript:
Welcome to the CSS podcast. I’m your host for this episode, Chris Taylor, also known as Rocket bring you another acolyte question. Today’s question is, how can an INFP and INFJ improve each other in marriage? So, bronze or silver pairs, excuse me, or something, I don’t feel like we’ve talked a whole lot about on this channel. We’ve talked a lot about, you know, golden pairs, and we’ve talked a lot about bronze pairs.
But we haven’t dealt too heavily into silver pairs as a whole. The interesting thing about silver pairs and superego, Paris by extension, is that you don’t have you have a optimistic, too pessimistic lineup between the functions. So in an INFJ, and an INFP, you have an NI hero reaching for an any parent, for example, or a TI child reaching for a TI inferior. And so this is this can be problematic in the sense that the optimistic functions always want to be on the pessimistic functions prefer to be reactionary, rather than, you know, always on and so when you have the optimistic functions consistently engaging the pessimistic functions, it is going to cause a drain on one or both people both really over time.
Now, there’s some ways around this. One of them is space, giving each other space in regards to respecting that you’re optimistic functions are going to tax them to a degree. And the other portion of it is listening, when the other person’s pessimistic functions are coming out, and trying to communicate something to you. Now, what does this look like for these two pairs? This means ti child.
And being fueled by not being aware of baseline information, proper source information is going to be constantly building logic on potentially faulty premises. This is going to cause the TI inferior to have to consistently supply and ensure that the baseline information that the TI user is building their logic off of is sound. How can you alleviate something like this? Well, before as I said before, when it comes to looking at listening, this means that the INFJ should be listening to the INFP when they provide better source information. Now, this only works inf peas if you’ve actually done the research.
So you should be reading and studying material anyway. And providing proper baseline information for the INFJ. To work off of. And INFJs.
If they are going through the discipline of actually reading the information and studying the information, it’s a good time for you to build your logic off of what information they’re providing you. Because it’s such a drain for them, it is that much more important INFJs that you actually take the time to truly consider the information that they’re laying out. Now, this applies to all of the optimistic, pessimistic I could sit here all day and talk about the matchings. But there’s the contents already out there on what the functions actually mean.
The understanding that you need to apply is that they’re going to be when you’re optimistically using your functions, you’re going to be putting a drain on them. So take what they have to say seriously with their concerns and spend the time listening if they’re spending the time using their pessimistic functions. Right. That’s the core concept there for that the optimistic pet Domestic, if they, there’s still going to be times where you need to outsource because you can’t rely on them for everything.
In these cases, when it’s optimistic pessimistic like that, you’re going to have to find other outlets for these pessimistic functions at times. And, you know, that’s, that’s a whole thing in and of itself, but learning to recognize and try to assess. When you’re starting to put too much pressure on your partner, with your optimistic functions, it’s okay to step back, maybe find somebody else to child you can go and go to other people for source information as well. It’s, that’s okay.
Now, those two concepts aside, what are some other things that we are looking at here between these two types? What are some of the weaknesses that these two types have? So INFJs we’ve already kind of established, you guys have a hard time with source information with rationalizing and weighing out important information. Now you have the FY side of it, but not the TE data point side of it. On top of that, you guys tend to have really short memory. INFPs, you guys have a hard time with utilizing logic building a tariff structure off of the baseline information.
A lot of times where you get yourselves into trouble is where you have good baseline information, but then start making assumptions based on that information. One of the reasons why in one of the prior INFP videos, I was telling you guys to make sure you’re reading counterpoints to whatever information you’re studying. That’s within that topic. So that way, you are certain that you understand both sides of the argument, and then you can weigh things out that way.
But you’re still going to be prone to building up faulty chains of logic, or making faulty assumptions. And then the other thing you guys have a hard time with is, what other people are doing, right SC how comfortable they are. And looking at, and also, you know, short, short term memory in the moment, memory is a little faulty with se trickster. Because you guys can get really wrapped up inside your own head, your own experience of things, that you tend to think that other people are experiencing what you’re experiencing by default.
So that’s another issue that you guys have. So those are the two trickster and demon functions. And these are the biggest weaknesses. Now, thankfully, you guys cover those.
Yet another reason why it’s important to communicate and listen to each other. Because you’re able to cover those weaknesses for each other. Know, some practical applications stuff based with all of that out of the way. INFJs, you guys tend to solve everything or SE and si users, let’s go here as a whole, for a second se users, your environment is going to have a big impact on your mental state si users, your mental state is going to have a big impact on your environment.
This means if you’re chaotic in your head, for an SI user, your environments can end up messy to se users. If your environment is messy, chances are your headspace is also going to be messy. So making sure for both of you guys, when you’re in an Essebsi relationship working together to make sure that the environment is clean, one for the SI user and two for her one for the SA user, excuse me, and to because if the SI users area starts to become a mess, this signals to the SE user that the SI user is starting to get mentally stressed out mentally overwhelmed. Because then the environment starts to go to chaos.
It’s important for the SI users to have their habits and be in their habits, good habits, so that they can maintain. If they know what to expect with an E, then their SI is a lot more comfortable by default. So how can you help each other out with this? Well, we went a little bit into it for the SE user. Make sure that if your SI user is struggling to keep their space maintain chances are their mental spaces clogged and clouded.
And so keep an eye out for that. Now, for the SI user, keep track of the environment for your se user, make sure that they have things that are coinciding with whatever they’re trying to work on where whatever path they’re trying to go towards, with their ni, make sure that there are totems around them, to help them focus on that. So that way, this is especially important for an INFJ. They’re not trying to keep all the information in their head.
They’re not sitting there going, oh my god, like, how can I keep track and keep memory, memory totems, externalize your discipline, as the users make sure that your environment are reminders of what you’re working towards. So those are big components. And this is just general, you know, and I si user information if you’re in a relationship with each other. Now, some things specific to these two types, that you can help each other with.
The INFP needs to make their comfort zone, something that is going to work towards them being more knowledgeable in their given field, I highly recommend nonfiction reading. Because this will give them things to think about this will keep the mental space fresh for them. With new information, it’ll also work towards them becoming eventually an expert in their field, which will help them feel more fulfilled in the long term. So later on in life, you’re not running into this problem where the INFP is going, What have I done with my life, nobody wants to listen to me, because I don’t have any valuable information to give anybody.
I’m not an authority on anything. And that’s a real problem. As as the INFP gets older and older. And so if you really want to help them, make sure that their discipline is in things that are going to work towards that work towards their, their growth towards their origin.
INFJs your guys’s origin is intimacy. Make sure INFP is that you are sharing things that are important to you things that are valuable to you, with the INFJ so that they feel connected to you, so that they feel like they’re able to share in your life experience. It’s really easy for you guys to just go background and keep all the information to yourself not because of anything malicious. But oftentimes, because you’re just stuck in your head.
And trying to figure things out, make sure that you’re communicating, make sure you’re communicating your values and things that are important. So that that INFJ actually feels like they are included in your life that they are close to you. Make sure that you are showing that you are loyal to them. And I don’t just mean from like a loyalty of like relationship, like not cheating.
That’s pretty simple, basic stuff. What I mean is that you value their thinking. And while you want to make sure that they’re basing it off of important information, you want to make sure that you’re expressing to them, that the way that what they’re thinking their conclusions that they’re coming up to is something that’s important to you. So with all that out of the way, these again, just basic stuff will go a long way.
Because you are still in a golden Quadra compatibility. There’s not a lot a ton that you have to account for other than cross temporal dynamics, which were kind of we kind of just addressed. The other The next important step is understanding each other’s Octo gram. And understanding the polls that they have that they’re operating with, because it’s going to help you understand why they’re making the decisions that they’re making.
It’s going to help you to address their blind spots, which is the other polls that they’re not focusing on. If you want to get typed get your Okta Graham types, maybe you’re already typed in Dr. Graham. We do have coaching.
You can go get that done. If you have Haven’t had a coaching session, I recommend it. It’d be a shame if you’re basing all this information off of presupposed types, and you end up being wrong about that. Now otherwise, we have all the contents on the journeyman acolyte page, CS Joseph dot life, you can go there too.
So either get yourself a membership there, get yourself coaching, we can offer a lot more detailed help for you guys. Once we know your octave Graham, once we know your types, to be able to give you better, more nuanced advice, because there is going to be a lot of things that are going to change depending on your Archigram not from the types as a whole. But the things that really hit home the things that really impact you are going to be the things that are most influenced by your doctor Graham as a whole. Anyhow, if you found this lecture useful, helpful, insightful.
Make sure you leave a like leave a comment. I’ve been checking the comments on the prior videos. We’re going to be delving into the octa gram. More specifically here.
I’m going to be in season 34 coming out soon. And hopefully that’ll help you guys to you know, figure out your Okta gram and help it all makes a little more sense. Anyway, have a good night. Okay, see you guys on the next episode.
