CS joseph responds
Welcome to CS Joseph Responds, I’m your host, Chase, here to answer your questions on any topic Jungian analytical psychology or Four Sides Dynamics. Railgun, my wife, got me some amazing pizza from Blaze Pizza, and I’ve gotta be honest, Blaze Pizza is excellent. So. As an ENTP, I really enjoy torturing my audience by eating in front of them, you know what I’m saying? So, today’s question comes from Quora, and it is how does INFJ lead to maturity in thinking and making decisions? This is an excellent question. I’m very happy to have gotten the opportunity to find this one. So. Looks like Walt Richardson gave a stab at this question. He studied at Campus 2020. He answered last Monday, okay. So he says if I understood your question the way it’s supposed to be understood, my answer is the following: INFJ have a great ability connecting the dots of a particular situation in human behavior, somewhat, mostly on the human behavior side, though. Sure, a more logical type can create a detailed system on how to make things work. What are you talking about? Are you saying INFJs aren’t logical? They’re actually some of the most logical of all the types, do you even know what you’re talking about, Mr. Walt? While an INFJ can create a detailed system on how to make people work, okay, detailed system? No, INFJs are not systematic, they’re actually interest based They more focus on getting a win-win because they’re aware of what people get out of situations, they are not systematic at all. Systematic people focus on doing the best way of doing something. While an INFJ can create a detailed system, wrong, on how to make people work, comfortable, content, free, not oppressed, weird, okay. Those abilities can only be given their due importance when an INFJ is living the best example. You can’t expect people to follow your in-detail instructions on how to be a more efficient individual if you are not one to begin with. Once the INFJ is living proof of his preaching, teachings, and insights, only then people will be happy to listen and carry on a selfless project that ensures everybody is content with their quality of life, thus enhancing their performance, relationships, and overall mental and physical health. I hope this was the point, otherwise nevermind it. Actually, Walt, you actually hit it right on the nail. That’s excellent. So, yeah, I’d definitely be upvoting that one. But that’s the thing about INFJs, like, INFJs often find themselves hypocrites, and they often criticize other people for things that they themselves are guilty of. It’s part of being a Templar type. Templar type means you have introverted intuition, extroverted feeling, introverted thinking, and extroverted sensing in your top four slots of your ego, basically, in terms of your function stack, cognitive function wise. So based on that, this creates a sense of, well, in immature people, it creates a sense of lack of responsibility. So they end up only taking responsibility if they’re telling other people they’re irresponsible, because they recognize the internal hypocrisy of that, but often times, they can get ahead of themselves but they end up creating this covert contract with life, and it’s like, hey, as long as I don’t criticize anybody for them doing any bad, I have license to do anything bad. This is more of an STP problem, though, and not as much as an NFJ problem, so NFJs are at least affiliative, and being affiliative, they’re focused on doing the right thing. Whereas somebody who’s pragmatic is just doing what works, so that’s, which are STPs, so STPs don’t necessarily have that issue. But let’s get back on point here. How does an INFJ become mature? Well, first of all, they need to start taking responsibility, take responsibility for meeting their own needs and not expecting other people to meet their own needs, but they also need to stop being afraid of performing badly. INFJs have some serious performance anxiety. It’s the same kind of performance anxiety that INTJs have because, like, INTJs are often accused of thinking about sex more than actually having sex, right. Whereas the performance anxiety is a little bit different with an INFJ, and that performance anxiety can actually lead to pride because they’re trying to put up the fact that they’re afraid of performing badly, they cover it up with pride, which ends up giving them Ti child god complex, which INFJs become, like, insanely arrogant know-it-alls who believe that they actually, literally know everything about everything, and it’s really annoying. And it’s only when they humble themselves and they actually realize that they don’t actually know that much and they actually allow themselves to fail because their performance anxiety, it causes them to become so afraid of failure that they don’t actually get anything done, they can’t even start anywhere in their life, so they end up becoming stagnant and wake up at 40-years-old alone, with no family and literally nothing, and in the middle of a mid-life crisis because they’re too scared to do anything about it because they’re so afraid of failure that they end up doing nothing. The thing in this is that INFJs need to realize is that they benefit the most from practice more than any of the other types. Practice makes perfect. Not all types benefit from practice, but INFJs and INTJs, specifically, but INFJs, we’re talking about INFJs, because they have extroverted sensing inferior, can aspire becomes extroverted sensing aspirational, where they get rid of their performance anxiety such that they end up outperforming everybody else around them. However, they need to realize that they should stop trading performance for loyalty, because, for some reason, INJs think that if they perform well for others, that means those people’ll be loyal to them. Wrong, that’s not always the case, right. So they need to stop assuming that. And that’s usually why they’re afraid of failure, because they believe that if they fail, other people will stop being loyal to them, that’s another issue, because they need loyalty, because the INFJ greatest fear in life is fear of abandonment. Just as much as they have fear of performing terribly, but it’s because they’re afraid of being abandoned, you know, because they take loyalty so very seriously, you know, and INFJ, I mean, sure, INFJ recognizes that people will come and go regardless of anything they do, regardless of their performance, and they will allow themselves to be okay with failing, and then they’ll actually seek failure because the more often they seek failure, instead of success, the more they learn how to fail at something, the more they learn how to succeed at something, because they identify they things they shouldn’t be doing versus things that they want to do, right, which would be to succeed. So, logically speaking, they come to realize this. And they’re not trying to cover it up with pride. I think a really horrible example of an INFJ with Ti child god complex would be the recent Bachelorette show where when they were doing the introductions, the INFJ with Ti child god complex was the guy that got on top of the vehicle when he first entered and roared like a lion when he first introduced himself to the main girl of the Bachelorette show. That guy’s an INFJ with Ti child god complex, how embarrassing, but he don’t care, he thinks he knows everything, you know what I’m saying? It’s all about performance. It’s funny, extroverted sensing inferior types, especially INFJ women, they like to, when they have their ability to perform inhibited by other people, or at least when they perceive it’s being inhibited by other people, they actually go out of their way to eliminate competition with other women, and this could lead to spreading rumors or it could lead to just trying to make things bad, make that person look bad to get rid of that person so then they don’t have to be afraid of somebody else performing better than they, which is really ridiculous but Se inferiors do this all the time and that’s an example of immaturity. So, also, INFJs have this problem because they have Te trickster outside of their performance anxiety, you know, which is solved by just be respectful of failure and recognize you’re not always gonna perform the best, but practice makes perfect. As long as you use an INFJ practice, you will never have to worry with your performance anxiety ever again. Beyond that, you have Te trickster, and Te trickster is basically means INFJs can rationalize everything and an immature INFJ is somebody who takes things at face value, and they don’t verify things. So an INFJ ends up being at risk of believing just about anything. This is the reason why INFJs are hippies more than anyone, and they believe weird hippy things like hippy culture, new ageism, and these spiritual experiences like kundalini experiences or ayahuasca or all these things and they think they, like, mean something and because they’re willing to put their beliefs in just about anything without actually verifying but if they spent time verifying their beliefs, they become more mature, so it’s really important they do that, and through that verification, they end up becoming a little bit wiser. another problem that immature INFJs have is that they do not value themselves properly, they’re so critical toward their self worth that they literally walk around feeling worthless and it’s, like, really annoying that they do this. They become so super self deprecating and way too over giving to other people because they don’t value themselves, and they’re constantly people-pleasing, and searching for acceptance, and hoping other people feeling good about them so that they can feel good about themselves, right. Because again, they think that performance means loyalty, that if they perform well that no one’s gonna abandon them, which is not literally how life works, it’s a lie that they believe for some reason, you know, so just understand, folks, this is a serious issue, and they just have to let go of that, they have to realize that, you know, an INFJ has to come to the conclusion, realize that if they’re helping other people, what business do they have to complain. Because an INFJ, if one person complains out of the many people that they’re helping, then they feel really, really bad about themselves. Which, technically, is a form of pride, if you think about it, because how dare they think that they’re so good and so amazing at doing something that they would be perfect every time because INFJs are the resident perfectionist of all the types, they take perfection very seriously, it’s, like, super annoying. So, anyway, we’re out of time for this particular episode, but if you want to learn more, I’m gonna leave a link in the description below that goes even way more in depth on INFJs, and if you really wanna know how to become the absolute best INFJ, go to csjoseph.life/patreon, become a gold tier member, and then watch the season 19 episode that we have there on that menu for INFJs, it’s how to cognitively develop an INFJ so you can become the best INFJ and reach the path to enlightenment, et cetera, and check out our INFJ playlist on our other YouTube channel, you just go to the featured channels for this channel and you’ll see it and you’ll be able to go to the INFJ playlist, you can check out that playlist. I’ll probably leave a link in the description below as well. But if you’ve found this episode helpful and educational, please subscribe to the channel, leave a like, if you have any questions or comments about INFJs, please leave it in the comment section below. I read every comment, so that’ll be great. So with that being said, folks, I’ll see you guys tonight.