cs joseph responds
How does an ENFJ act towards a crush? Before I can answer please consider subscribing to the channel so I don’t spontaneously combust and hit the alert bell so you can be notified when I go live. That is when I randomly resurrect from the local crypt in that process. That being said, what is up Egohackers? I am CS Joseph, here to answer your questions on any topic Jungian analytical psychology or the four sides of the mind, also known as four sides dynamics. And the source of today’s question is naturally, Quora. So let’s dive in, shall we? All right, so we have the question asked, and we have a couple of answers. Audrey Ho, emphasis. I don’t know if there’s an emphasis required there. But Audrey Ho, has answered this question. Personally, as an ENFJ, don’t you just love when they like as and XYZ type, apparently. Here’s a list of some things I like to do. Always on call for whenever they want to see me, Kind of disagree with that one. I usually would drop anything to spend time with my crush. I will jump at any opportunity to flirt and get to know them, especially in comparison to time they spend with everyone else, even when they have other people to attend to you will be their first priority. Okay, I can argue that up and down a little bit, but I’m just gonna let that one stand for a moment. Okay, oh, another point she makes; help them in little ways. The more time I spend with them, the more I am able to pinpoint areas of assistance, I can contribute to or perhaps just something small like bringing them food when they’re working or picking up something up off the floor. Honestly, I’ll give them anything they need. That’s accurate. That’s good. That’s good. Innocent touching. Wow. I mean, yeah. This definitely sounds like an ENFJ. In the beginning, ENFJs may be apprehensive and seek approval before making any moves. But as I get to know you, I enjoy playing around with physical contact. Okay. Yeah. That’s very Se child, very ENFJ. Indirect compliments, if your ENFJ is shyer, they may compliment you in indirect ways. For example saying, that hat makes you look better rather than you look good with that hat. No, that’s very INFP. Maybe it’s INFP shadow, but no. Otherwise, they will slip in compliments that matter here and there. And we have a final point, conversations about relationships in general. Personally I enjoy dropping hints about what could be by initiating conversation about what you prefer in a relationship. And I’ll hope to target every single one. After all ENFJs want to help it, please. Gosh, that is so accurate. Wow. Audrey, thank you for posting that answer because that is definitely a thing NFJs do. They just start talking about relationships in general, so as to hints to their informative NP that they’re likely targeting for a sexual interlude to basically realize that, hey, maybe that they’re open to a relationship without actually directly saying, wait a minute, do we have a woman here online admitting that they prefer covert communication instead of overt communication, even though regardless of them being direct versus indirect, aka, informative? Interesting, very interesting. Who knows? Let’s continue with the next person. All right, we got Roger Hollifield, who is a systems engineer. As an ENFJ, there it is again, and I could speak about a couple other ENFJ friends. Wow, ENFJs friends with ENFJs? doesn’t happen very often. Hence why I’m like not inclined to believe that. We can kind of be shy at first, I typically don’t want to be the creep or stupid guy. That is very ENFJ. ENFJs want to give people a good experience, make them comfortable, so they don’t really want to come off as a creep. And they ever don’t ever want to be seen as a stupid guy because of Ti inferior. That bothers someone or makes them feel uncomfortable. Okay, this guy sounds like an ENFJ. This is a conflict because my inner self is just waiting to yap to connect with my person of interest. After we know that the feeling is mutual, we’ll pour ourselves out there, sometimes times this can be too much if we are younger. Well said, Sir. Very good, very good. And Derek Lee, Boo CEO, the personality dating app at boo.dating. And no, I’m not trying to like market this person, but they just got lucky. If they like you, they’ll ask you on a first date that will last approximately six hours. Wait a minute, bro. Where are you getting this data from? At a minimum expect to visit a museum, climb a mountain and volunteer at a soup kitchen? Okay, I mean, is this a man or a woman approach? Where is the gender in this? If they don’t like you, they’ll set you up with someone else. Trust me they’ll say, I’m really good at this. Yeah, that’s actually kind of accurate. Thank you, Derek Lee, for that. All right. And now the CSJ Response. Okay, so, basically ENFJs how they act towards a crush. Basically, they need to verify with themselves that there is some kind of concrete proof or some concrete behavior that their crush actually likes them. And one of the reasons or how they do this is that an ENFJ will like do something good for their crush. Usually, it could be in the form of gift-giving or food giving or doing them favors etc. Just to kind of see how their crush actually responds to that. Not only that, an ENFJ will also test their crush to see if their crush still has an interest but actually maybe by even doing something negative, or pointing out something or even teasing the person, even sometimes teasing the person in front of other people to see how they would actually respond to said teasing because that will give the ENFJ information as to whether or not that person is interested and potentially even being loyal to them or even sticking around. This is a big deal, because also the ENFJ likes to see especially from like a covert contract-y point of view, if I’m gonna perform for this person, I need them to be loyal to me so I’m going to like perform badly in this situation and see if they’ll stick around. That’s a really really big important thing. However, once they have, once the extroverted feeling hero actually has the, a concrete behavior or concrete action, not words, actions. Once they see actions through their their Se child and their extroverted feeling hero at the same time that that person values them in some capacity. Once that happens the ENFJ like literally activates, smother mode; where they like literally smother their crush like constantly. And at any opportunity at a drop of a hat, they will spend as much time as they can with that person. And from my own past, when I was in a four-year relationship with an ENFJ. That was also my experience. We had our very first date. She took me into this super classy restaurant, interest was expressed before the date ever occurred, I expressed a little bit of interest in her. She did that little test or whatever, apparently I passed that test, etc. And then she took me out to this super nice restaurant, which I ended up not liking. But I’m just picky because I’m Si inferior. And she was like super into me. And it was just very smothering, smother, smother, smother, smother. Yeah, it was definitely a smother. And I will admit that I absolutely had sex with her on the first night. I do not often do that. But in that particular situation, I absolutely did. Either way, though. Overall, yeah, it was a very, it was very smothering experience. She was constantly attentive to like, all of my introverted sensing needs at all times. Always trying to constantly make me feel better, even though I didn’t really need anyone to make me feel better whatsoever. But, that’s just how it is. And it’s just like, okay, yeah, I’m an ENTP. I’m gonna play along. I’m just gonna figure out, hey, she needs me to feel good about something. So I’m gonna try to like at least try to come up with some form of introverted feeling because they’re introverted feeling trickster, I’m not sure if that’ll actually be a thing. But either way, it was really great because ENFJ’s they act very wanty, very wanty and desirous towards their crush. And it was really nice to feel desired as an ENTP. LOL, there it is, again, to be desired by someone. Ni parent, they are super wanting, they can be super impulsive and Ne hero loves how impulsive, those Ni parents are as well as Ni heroes. But once an Ni parent knows what they want, they just go for it. And that’s literally how it is. So if you’re getting smothered by an ENFJ, guess what? That means that they have a crush on you and you probably should like return that. Otherwise, they’re gonna start testing you and seeing if you’re gonna stick around. And some of those situations can be painful and its because they have extroverted-thinking demon when they are testing in that regard, you may actually end up losing some status and reputation with your coworkers, and your friends and or family if you’re not careful. So you might like you know, better like pay attention because an ENFJ is not just gonna do something nice for you for the sake of doing something nice. Why is that? Because they’re interest based, folks, because they are aware of what you’re getting out of the situation versus what they are getting out of the situation. And if you’re not going to honor their performance for you, well, then guess what? That Te demon is going to eventually punish you for it after a while. And also ENFJs, especially ENFJ women, but it happens to the ENFJ men too. They like to, they like to peacock around, they like to compete. They also like to eliminate competition as well. If you see an ENFJ eliminating competition around you, guess what? That also means that they have a crush on you. You might wanna pay attention to that just so you know. Anyway, if you’d like a chance of your question being answered on this channel, please post it on Quora and tag me or leave us a comment below. 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