CS Joseph Responds
Welcome to C.S Joseph responds, I’m your host Chase, here to answer your questions on any topic jungian analytical psychology or the Four Sides of the Mind. Also known as Four Sides Dynamics. And today’s question is, how do I get an ISFJ to fall in love with me? And the source of today’s question is none other than Quora. So let’s take a look at the question. Awesome, so we got four answers. Anonymous begins to answer and they say, “Read Love Sense by Dr. Sue Johnson.” “Everyone can make emotional attachments “just because someone isn’t as demonstrative “as you doesn’t mean they don’t feel as deeply as you. “Some people take just more safety and time “to bond than other people. “And some people just don’t know how to bond. “This book helped me understand “some dynamics on attachment issues in relationships.” What does this have to do with ISFJs? It’s like, are you just coming here to answer rando. Are you Dr. Sue Johnson? Trying to get people to read your book right now. Is that what’s going on here? I’m all for using quora to like market your stuff and I’m kinda technically doing that because I’m posting the transcripts of these answers directly into quora for anyone to read but the bottom line is, this is almost blatant. But then again, maybe I am the pot trying to call the kettle black here, I don’t know. “Give them time to get to know you “and grow to love and like you care about feelings a lot.” As in what does this have to do with ISFJ? Like no, no, you’re not getting any time here, nope. Scott Spangler. “A man who has worked at Mcdonald’s answered on November 11th, 2018, on Veterans Day. He said, “Don’t know don’t care. “I’ve read this stuff. “How many people have you met “that are I for a 100 percent of the time “with all people and all situations over their life time? “Because if they aren’t, then all your careful plannings “are a waste of time. “Same of S and FNJ. “If this pseudoscience worked “if, then every person everywhere “should be evaluated and measured “and paired up shortly after our personalities “evidence themselves. “Likewise, they should be used to fix most “Psychiatric disorders and all criminal behaviors “or it’s just stuff.” All right Mr. Scott, I totally understand where you’re coming from here. Very concrete point of view here. You sound like some ESTJ or some ISTP who’s very ignorant of the science and I don’t blame you. You kind of belong hanging out with Ty Lopez and all those people who think this is an absolute waste of time. And I’m sure that you’d enjoy yourself in that echo chamber but please, stop coming out here to Quora and actually be a help instead of someone who’s just complaining about it. Because answering, don’t know don’t care, is not remotely useful. So then we have John Northwolf, who didn’t list his occupation. “By building attraction followed by trust “and intimacy, then to maintain it, “you should both be going through life “trying to both grow individually “as well as a couple. “Wow, sounds super affiliative right now.” Too bad ISFJs aren’t looking for affiliative. One does not make someone fall in love with them, actually it happens all the time. Just watch Don Juan DeMarco and learn about the rake, it happens all the time and rakes can pull it off. Don’t believe me? Guess what, my marriage is as a result of that. Love is decision not a feeling or emotion, true. With that being said, because it’s a decision not emotion, “you have to understand and accept the fact that “not everyone you desire is going to reciprocate.” I mean, wow, can you just be more cliche? I mean apparently people here respect your opinion “here on Quora, Mr. Northwolf. “You will be rejected no matter what your social status.” Are you projecting right now, Mr Northwolf? Is that literally what’s happening right now? “Physical or intellectual attractiveness.” Are you actually exposing your own insecurities for us here on the internet, Mr Northwolf? I’m serious, this is getting a little weird. And now you’re talking about achievements and or possessions. Dude you sound like an INTJ at this point. “All the more reason to go out there and risk it. “What do you have to lose?” Spoken like a true Pickup artist. Anyway, then we have Hank de Grown. Sex toy consultant to the stars. A very interesting occupation. And what did he do? He posted links to pornography. No, no, a sex expert, romantic advice to the non-binary lifestyle. Okay, none of these answers were remotely helpful or worth it. So I’m gonna come in here and basically save everyone from this well, stupid. So anyway, how do I get an ISFJ to fall in love with me? It’s very, very simple. It’s very simple. You initiate with them and you give them what they want most. They want to be wanted, so you make them feel desired. That’s really all you do. And you do that and just be like, “Hey how you doing?” Introduce yourself, be nice. They really like it when people are nice to them. They really like it when people choose them. They want to feel special. They want to feel chosen over everybody else. It’s super important. And they want to be made comfortable. If you know an ISFJ, find out from their friends what their favorite kind of coffee is, and go to Starbucks and go get it for ’em and then just randomly show up and be like, “Hey I got myself a coffee, and I got you one too.” And it just happens to be their favorite, “Oh how did you know?” You know what I’m saying? That works and it generates rapport et cetera. And then they’ll be like, “Oh, I think so highly of you.” And then you only feel good about that et cetera because you’re likely an ESFP or an ISFP because they are super compatible with those people. Or maybe you’re an ENTJ because that’s the type they are most likely going to end up marrying et cetera, is an ENTJ. But the point is that, give them gifts. They like to receive gifts. Gifts that help them in their way, that eases their burden. So all you have to do is ease burdens because ISFJs take on all of the burdens in the world and so many obligations. They need someone like you to come by and help them unobligate themselves or ease their burdens by helping them get through all those obligations so they feel less stressed and have more time on themselves. They just need to be enabled from that. They need enablement basically and they go out of their way to help everybody but it’s nice when someone like you comes along, someone with high moral fiber, someone with decent amount of status and achievements. And also someone who’s committed to giving them a good experience, such that you’re actually hilarious and actually have a sense of humor. Sense of humor is probably, other than being wanted and you obviously being passionate towards to ISFJ. Sense of humor is probably the number one, and I mean literally, the number one thing that attracts ISFJs is sense of humor because they are built for being in relationships with ESFPs which are hilarious. You see what I’m saying? They love to laugh. So if you can make an ISFJ laugh and laugh consistently, you know you got them. And then hey, bring them their favorite coffee every now and then, and be like, “Hey, tell me a story.” Or, “What’s going on with you? “What’s new with you?” You always show interest in what they are doing or what they have done. Ask them questions about their past. I was actually talking to my ISFJ mother-in-law earlier today, and I asked to tell me a story about her grandfather. And it was an amazing story by the way. It was excellent. She told it very well and I had a great experience listening to it. But she really enjoyed speaking from the past and being that family historian, et cetera, talking about her grandfather and all of the things that he had to deal with when he was in the USSR and the communists and the Gulags, and all that. It was a fantastic story. And all this rich family history that my children are going to be inheriting, it’s amazing. Its absolutely astounding. But the point is that, again, sense of humor goes a long way Also another thing is, is a lesson taught to me by my ESTP mentor, and also a lesson that’s constantly proven to me by my wife on a regular basis. But it goes like this. The gift of food goes a long a way. It goes a very long way, and it goes a really long way especially with ISFJs. If you get them your favorite treats, their favorite coffees or what not, that’s sometimes even more valuable than getting them clothing or jewelry or anything like that, because they love coziness. It’s all about cozy. Make them feel cozy. Make them feel chosen. Tell them how you feel about them. Tell them how they make you feel. Share your feelings with them, and don’t be afraid to share your feelings with them. And make sure that they know that you are the only person that you share your feelings with, et cetera. And also behave in a principled manor, and they will come to respect you over time. They will come to love you over time. And they will be die hard loyal to you. And that’s to the point where they will never abandon you ever because they just can’t get enough. And then eventually, they’ll be the ones seeking you out because you were the one who first sought them out, initially. And they care about fairness. Now, always keep things fair. They are very just people. And it’s all about making you feel good and them feeling wanted. But here’s another thing. Other than, the gift of food goes a long way, making them cozy, making them feel wanted. Giving them your attention, being passionate, asking them for stories, the other really, really, really super mega important thing that causes an ISFJ to fall in love with you is when you listen to them. You have to listen to them. Even if you disagree with them, even if you feel like they don’t even know what they’re talking about, if you spend the time to listen to what they’re saying, consider it, maybe even experiment with what they are saying, so you could be like, “Yeah this is actually true and I learnt “a really great lesson, thank you.” Or, “No, you’re wrong and it’s because of this,” and you tell them and you show them the experiment that you are doing, and show them this. It’s all about showmanship. You got to show ISFJs how they’re incorrect in their thinking, but you at least have to take the time to listen to them. And actually take the time to potentially do what they ask of you as well. It’s super important. Being listened to is important because often times, ISFJs are completely overlooked by people, and no one really listens to them. It’s super important that you listen to them. And it makes them feel wanted. It makes them feel intelligent. They don’t like it when other people… Because from their point of view, no one values me if no ones listening to me. But they feel valued if you listen to them. And you got to make them feel wanted, gift of food goes a long way. Got to have that sense of humor and make them cozy. And once you have all those things going and you’re doing it all at the same time, that ISFJ will fall head over heels for you and that’s it. You got them. So that’s how you do it, folks, that’s how you get an ISFJ to fall in love with you. So also if you like to have a chance to your question being answered on this channel, please post it on Quora or tag me. Or you can leave it in the comment below, et cetera. If you want a guaranteed answer for your question, become a silver member at C.F. Joseph. Life-members and post your question on our private Q&A Discord channel. I take the questions from there, I answer them on a live stream. A private livestream every month. The next one’s this Thursday, so I’d get in on that if you want to get on that Q&A session. I will also answer questions directly out of the livestream feed. Also, please make sure to like and subscribe, support the channel. You can leave any questions you have below. And with all that being said folks, I’ll see you guys tonight.