Season 9, Episode 6 Transcript
– Hey, it’s CS Joseph, csjoseph.life. Doin’ another episode on comparing the types, extroverted to introverted variants. So we have the ESFP versus the ISFP tonight. Useful for people who think they are an SFP but they don’t know whether or not they’re the introverted or the extroverted variant. And again, this is part of a season of episodes that we’re doing for the YouTube channel and on the podcast simultaneously, so that people can utilize them to determine their type better. If, of course, they’re not like already using the type grid. Which they could be doing, if they go to my front page of my website, csjoseph.life. In which case they could download that PDF and use the grid to type themselves or others, which I recommend. So regarding that, let’s dive into the entertainer compared to the artist. So both types are freedom-based creators, which basically means they’re artisans in their temperament. All about freedom, all about what they want, all about the experience that other people are having, all about creating a good experience for others, all about performing in front of other people, or performing for one particular person. That’s actually a huge difference between ESFP’s and ISFP’s. ESFP’s are all about performing for a vast majority. Or you know, an ISFP is like more introverted. It’s performing for an individual.
Although interestingly enough, ISFP’s are still capable of aspiring with their ENTJ subconscious, which actually can cause them to become major leaders in a band and perform for thousands upon thousands of people because they’re leading their band in the process. Because they’re trying to aspire into their subconscious, which is ENTJ, which is in charge, right? And they’re trying to take charge with the art and drive the artistic process forward with their teammates or their band to make it happen. Right? That’s how ISFP’s can do that. You know, and of course ESFP’s can also entertain individuals. And they do it in a strategic way using their INTJ subconscious where they can focus on one. But in their regular egos, it’s very strictly one to many or many to one. It just kind of really depends on, you know, whether or not they’re the ESFP or the ISFP conscious mind, the ego basically in that regard. So they have different interaction styles though. The interaction style of the ESFP is informative, initiating movement. Whereas the ISFP is informative, responding control. So what does that mean? That means ESFP’s are constantly moving. Progress can exist in the midst of chaos. They don’t care if it’s chaotic. They can still get the progress that they need and they are moving quickly. If things get in the way and they feel hampered down or they feel stagnant, they feel like there’s life lacking there. And then it’s like death, and then they freak out and they have to have that progress. And they will push people away and push things in out of the way, or move things in the way. Create obstacles as much as remove obstacles to make sure that they get the movement, they get the progress they desire. Doesn’t mean they have to complete anything.
Remember ESFP’s are starter types. And because they’re in form initiating movement, as they start a type, they can put a lotta energy in the beginning of something, but then they fizzle out and they’re not able to complete things. And things that they do are often very incomplete. Well that’s because of their interaction style. They are starters, right? So that lack of completeness can cause them to be in situations where, well, I progressed on this thing so I’m satisfied. But okay, are you gonna finish it? See that’s the issue with the ESFP’s. I suffered that, too as an ENTP. Let me tell you all about it. It sucks, but it’s what we do. We put a lot of energy in the beginning of things, but then we fizzle out.
Luckily, thank God people invented see-it-through types, because they don’t have very much energy in the starting things, but they have a lot of energy in finishing things. So you stick a starter with a see-it-through, magic happens and all the bases are covered in that regard, in being able to accomplish goals. ISFP’s are very different. They’re control-based, meaning they go at their own pace. They take their time doing things. There is no such thing as chaos. Progress cannot exist in the midst of chaos. They have to remove the chaos in order for them to have progress. They have to complete objectives and complete things, and they list things out for themselves. Or they systematically produce a process. That is what carries them through their artistic capabilities or their abilities to create anything. And it could be like their music or their books, what they’re writing is all structured in a certain way for them to be able to get through it and see it through to completion. And they do complete what they start. They’re not going to bother starting unless they complete it. But they do it in a very background, behind the scenes way, right? Because they’re behind the scenes and formative responding control. So they’re responding. Responding means they prefer people to come to them.
They don’t like to initiate with other people. They like it when people come to them and keep them informed. That’s why they are introverted. And they gain mental energy from being in solitude. Whereas, the ESFP, oh the life of the party type, right? The life of the party type who everyone says is gotta be the center of attention. Okay. Yeah, sure. They like being the center of attention, especially in a performance arts scenario. But there are some times when they are insecure in a crowd situation where they don’t really know what they want to do or who they want to engage with. So then they decide to disengage entirely. And then they actually be alone, which drains them of their mental energy. And they have to go be with people who are like-minded, or people they’re familiar with, or who people who they can rely on giving a good experience to their SE hero. Then those people are comfortable with them. Because unless someone is comfortable with an ESFP, they’re not gonna be comfortable. Let’s be honest. Cause they don’t know what to do, right? Whereas it doesn’t necessarily bother an ISFP. An ISFP accepts that people are just not really going to be comfortable with them all the time. So they still know what they want to do anyway because they’re very responsible and more precise with the experience that they’re giving other people.
That’s because they have SE parent. SE parent is all about giving the other people an experience in the same way SE hero is. But the difference is that SE parent’s more pessimistic about it. It’s more responsible about it. It is more precise about it. And the experience is not as general or like a big blast. It’s more like a finely tuned guitar, or a finally balanced blade, for example. Or tool, et cetera, that they use. The ISFP is more precise with the experience that they’re trying to deliver, right? The ESFP’s more general with it. And that’s especially true ’cause they have TE child. They’re are very general, they live their life through generalizations. They make generalizations. Their thinking is all generalizations. Their thinking is all beliefs. It is a belief system. It has nothing to do with true or false. ESFP’s do not give a damn about what is true or false. All they care about is what you believe. If you believe it, that’s good enough for me, right? As a result, TE child can actually succumb to group think and that can be a problem. ISFP’s however, although they are potentially vulnerable to group think, not so much because TE inferior is actually more pessimistic about group think and they’re not always going to follow the crowd on certain ideas, for example. And based on that, they’re gonna be like, okay, well show me your evidence, cite your sources, right? They’re going to expect references, right? Whereas TE child, not so much. TE child is very optimistic. Oh, okay. Well, I like you so if you think that that’s true, then I feel like it’s true, too. Right? So the ESFP is more at risk of getting into group think, whereas the ISFP is at lower risk, if you know what that means.
But they’re still rational. And they both have those rational beliefs, those rational belief systems. It has nothing to do with true or false. It’s just all about beliefs because remember, in the absence of communication or explanation, perceptions become reality, right? And those perceptions, when they become reality, they become beliefs and it’s all about beliefs. Beliefs is everything. Belief is everything. And I’m not talking about belief from a religious standpoint, I’m talking about belief in anything. Like believing that Republicans really are conservative. They’re not. Or believing that Democrats are really liberal. They’re not. But that’s beliefs that people have. You know, and that’s very rational and rationale is all about beliefs. It has nothing to do with the facts, it has nothing to do with true or false. Well, I could look up these statistics and a bunch of statistics show that this could be true, but like, I’m sorry, guys. Correlation is not causation. That is technically not logic. Ergo, not true. It’s truth-y. That’s what rationale is, truth-y. But it’s not true, right? True is logos, true is where the logic is. And both these types don’t do logic, like at all. Especially the ISFP, because it’s their demon. Because with the ISFP, is like, okay you want me to be all about what’s true or false? Are you sure you want me to do that? Okay, I’ll be all about true or false.
And then I’ll destroy everything and light everything on fire because you just want me to behave in truth. Because if you really want me to be fair, okay, we’ll be fair. Because if you think I’m not being fair, when I have been overly fair in your direction this entire time. It’s as if you’re taking advantage of me, right? Okay, yeah, we can go there. And they’re willing to put their fists up and they’ll get pretty violent in that matter if they have to. Or they’ll completely withdraw entirely and go 100% apathetic. Where the ISFP will ignore that you ever exist. Apathy becomes the weapon of the INTP super-ego. It is a major problem. Whereas, the ENTP super-ego, you get insincerity and insincerity is a problem with an ESFP because if the ESFP does not respect you and you’re in a relationship with them or you’re in or a friendship with one. You’re going to get… You know, if you don’t give them the freedom to want, if you don’t give them the freedom to want what they want, they’re just gonna start lying to you. Why? Because they’re gonna do what they want anyway. And if you’re not okay with what they want to begin with, they’re going to lie to your face about it, okay?
Because they care about getting what they want more than whatever rule that you’ve put around them. Like if you have any ESFP daughter and she’s sneaking out at night, think about that. That’s why that’s happening. And you’re wondering why she’s lying to you. It’s because from her point of view, you never let her do what she wants, ever. And because you’re taking away all of her freedom ’cause your probably an SJ parent. Let’s be honest, you know? Oh no, CS Joseph, stopped doing all that SJ hate. I mean, come on. I’m an ENTP. My polar opposite is an SJ. Sue me. You’re gonna get the insincerity. They’re going to lie to you. What do you expect? You know, like, come on. That’s a major difference. But remember, you know, they’re trying to aspire through INTJ. You gotta make them secure with what they want. Be okay with what they want. And if you allow them to want things, they’ll start to be secure in they’re wanting, and they’ll actually have more confidence with what they want. And then as a result of that, you might get some pretty cool stuff. Like all of a sudden, they’ll become super trusting and they will trust you. You know? And it’s really nice to have an ESFP trust you, right? Because when they trust you, they will go out of their way to give you good experience. Let me even give you a perfect example from my life, okay?
I used to be married to an ESFP. And let me tell you how trusting this ESFP is to me. I may have divorced her and my children live with her and whatnot. But she’s a great mom. And I always tell my children, she’s a great mom. And I always tell my children, they have to respect her, right? And I go out of my way. I go out of my way for my baby mama because it is important. Because if she is compromised in any way, my children are compromised. That’s stupid. Why would I want that? Why would anyone want that, right? So, because I have this track record, because she knows that they’re SE hero, that anytime she calls, I’m going to pick up the phone, okay? And she knows that she has that loyalty from me that anytime she calls she becomes the priority at that moment, which has allowed her to become trusting with her INTJ subconscious. ISFP’s work a little bit different. They become in their aspirational form, altruistic. Okay, so when they’re altruistic and you give them their day in court, you allow them to manage what… you know, like let’s say you’re in a relationship with them. They need to manage things. They need to have a routine or a process that they follow, that they feel good about. They need you to think highly of them. If you are constantly telling them how you appreciate the experience, you appreciate the art that they do, you appreciate the good that they do, ’cause they have like a super high moral compass and you love them for their morals, right? And that you are thinking highly of them. And you are demonstrating your thoughtfulness to them on a regular basis. This ISFP will become insanely altruistic and literally give you anything, anything you want. They will just give it to you. They will spend so much time on you and make this amazing piece of art or an entire song devoted to you.
You see it all the time on a regular basis within like I mean, insert ISFP singer who doesn’t sing songs about their lovers to thousands of people when they go on tour. Like, come on. It’s a normal thing. That’s why. It’s part of their altruism, right? You know, of course, you’re going to get nothing but greed or the apathy from them if you just ignore their inferior function. Yeah, that’s a bad idea. Anyway, let’s talk a little bit more about the process. FI parents. So we talked about SE, we talked about TE child. Let’s talk about FI parent. FI parent’s all about like how they feel, you know? So mood is everything to the ESFP. It’s also everything to the FI hero of the ISFP. Mood is everything. They are not gonna do anything unless they are in the mood, right? So they have to be feeling good to be in the mood. How do you make one of these types feel good? You tell them, you be thoughtful, and you demonstrate your thoughtfulness towards them. And because you are thoughtful, they are in a great mood. They feel loved. And then they are motivated with they’re interim intuition functions, motivated to continue to give you a good experience. To either entertain you or produce art for you, or to just give you a good experience in general. You know, fix the house, work on something, get it done. They will make it happen. Diehard, absolute diehard. They will give you a good experience. They will make it happen.
So be aware of that. FI parent. Very responsible with how they feel, you know? Whereas, the FI hero goes even further. And it’s just like, you know everything in life is broken up into two groups, good or bad, right? This is good. This is bad. This is good. This is bad. But there can be some super big sensitivities. And if they think that you’re being thoughtless towards them, they’re going to feel bad themselves. They’re gonna feel bad about them. So their sense of self-worth will go down. And that will cause their shadow, this ISFJ shadow, be like well it’s an injustice because I feel bad about myself. And then they will start to grow bitter towards you. Or the ISFP, same thing with the ESFJ. I am so supportive for you all the time, but I’m no longer going to be supportive of you anymore because you obviously think less of me right now. That’s what happens when you don’t really give the hero what it needs. Don’t do that. That’s like dumb. So then the inferior function, introverted intuition inferior. ESFP’s are very insecure with what they want. They are super insecure with what they want. They never know what they want. That’s why all the time they’re like one of the four main types that have failure to launch syndrome. And it’s because they just don’t know what they want. You know, the mother of my children, for example has been to like seven different colleges and changed the majors so many times, ’cause they just don’t know what they want. They gotta try everything. Or they got to see what everyone else is doing so that they feel secure enough to know what they want to do. ISFP’s however, they have NI child.
They always know what they want. It doesn’t matter. And because they always know what they want, they always just do that. Because you can rely on the fact that they always know what they want. And then, especially when they’re paired up with an ESFJ, the ESFJ is NE child. It’s like, wow, that’s awesome that you always know what you want and I always feel desired by you at all times. And then their relationship just starts spinning up and having this amazing cycle of awesome that they’re able to have between the two of each other. My sister is an ESFJ and she’s married to an ISFP and they’re having a grand old time. Like that relationship is super awesome. And with how super compatible it is. She just had her second child. She’s looking at adopting another one, for example. You know, they got a really fantastic family and they’re going places together. And it’s because they have the synergy within their relationship to each other and for each other. And it’s all because my brother-in-law always knows what he wants and he’s always going for it. And there is no guessing on the part of my sister. My sister doesn’t ever have to guess and she can continue to remain dutiful to him and loyal to him and give him what he needs, right? So ISFP’s have TE inferior. TE inferior is insecure about what other people think about them, what other people think about their art, what other people think about their creativity. So just demonstrate your thoughtfulness to the ISFP’s so they don’t feel insecure.
And then they aspire with their creativity and they can create some amazing things. Like, you know being that band that is being broadcast on the radio all over the world or making it big, going on tour, et cetera. I’m using a lot of musical examples. But just an example, like the eyes have people devote themselves to their specific specialty, their specialized art because of your demonstrated thoughtfulness towards them. And that it makes them feel good about what they’re doing. And then they develop it and specialize even more to the point where they reach mastery. You want the ISFP to reach mastery and become a multimillionaire because he had this amazing hit song, or invented this really cool tool or whatever. Or manufacturing process, or who knows what you have you. Make their TE turn into aspiration by telling them how highly you think of them and demonstrating your thoughtfulness to them. And that’s how they are able to access their ENTJ subconscious and go even further with what they’re able to create for you and everybody else. That’s how it works. So let’s talk about the shadow, ESFJ shadow. They are worried about how other people feel about them. ISFP sometimes are worried that people do not value them enough and that concerns them. Sometimes it takes away the motivation from them to be supportive especially if they’re working for a company and they don’t believe that they are valued by the company. Or especially if they don’t believe the company thinks well enough of them. But it’s usually on a value issue ’cause it’s more of a shadowy thing. And then they lose all motivation.
Their NI child is just like, eh, I don’t wanna do anything. So they do the absolute bare minimum on the job. They don’t wanna have anything to do with it. And that’s where their idleness can come into play, even though they really are the most diligent of all the types. But the idleness can activate because they’re just so worried about how other people feel of them. If they don’t feel valued by others, it’s like, well if I’m not valued here, then why bother supporting this? Like I can’t get behind this company if I’m not valued here, or if people don’t think I’m cool enough here. So why bother, right? Now ESFP’s, their nemesis function is it’s reassessing. They worry about the past. They worry about whether or not their good memories in their childhood will ever happen again. They’re worried that they won’t be able to give others the best possible experiences. They’re worried that they haven’t had enough experiences in such a way where if they had the experiences, they believe they’d be able to give other people better experiences, right? Especially like the children or those closest to them because they want to be that entertainer. They want to be the person that captivates your attention, that captures your attention and able to go in that direction. Well, they’re worried about that. So how do you deal with that? Well, you remind them that they always give you a good experience. And you give them the freedom to want to. And you give them the freedom to do whatever they want. And give them options of things they can want so that they know that you’re watching. And then you do it in a thoughtful way, right? That way, they’re not worried about their past anymore. And those issues don’t come.
They are critical about how other people feel to the point where if you’re trying to guilt an ESFP, good luck because they’re gonna instantly feel manipulated and they’re gonna rage on you. That SE hero will rage on you’re ass. Don’t let that happen. Do not try to guilt an ESFP. Good luck. Now, there are some times though when you need to teach an ESFP something for change and the way to do that is by using guilt. So if you’re not trying to manipulate them, use guilt as a tool to teach them because the critic function is how you teach people. That is their teaching function. It is the critic, it is the wise man, or the wise woman. If you want to teach people something, you teach them through the critic because it’s like you’re critiquing them and then they’re already critical in that way automatically. And then as a result, their behavior begins to change. It is no different for the ISFP because they walk around critical towards their long-term memory. They may claim they remember everything. They really don’t. And they can be actually very forgetful. And all you have to do is just keep track of what they forget and then prove it to them later and then they realize that you’re right. They’re willing to more accept the fact that they’re forgetful than ISTP’s are. ISTP’s walk around thinking they remember everything.
I have a memory of an elephant said my former ISTP boss. Yeah, no, he’s super incorrect about that. He is like one of the most forgetful people I’ve ever met. And that’s because they have low introverted sensing. Introverted sensing being the hard drive the computer, because they all have SE, which is the RAM of the computer. Short-term memory awareness, that’s extroverted sensing. New information comes in, old information is pulled out. Not very much room on the SI hard drive, so it just goes to recycle bin, move on. It’s because new data coming in and right now in the moment is more important than old data. Whereas me, I’m an SI user. I value old data more than I value the new data, which leans I lack mechanical awareness and I have a hard time taking a hammer to a nail. It sucks, but I’m being honest. So introverted sensing critic. They are very critical towards what they remember. They’re critical towards their experience. This also allows them to endure. They can endure pain a lot and scrapes and get through some very tedious, very difficult work, especially when they’re working with their hands and you’re like how the hell does he have the endurance to pull that off? The answer is SE critic.
They can actually endure a lot through SE critic and it is amazing to watch ISFP’s do it, especially when they’re not even the mood to go through it, they still get through it because of NI child teams up with SI critic. I want to get through this. I want to get through this. The little engine that could. And then they’re able to make it and they’re able to endure and push through to the end. And it’s like, wow, that is an amazing work of art what you have just accomplished. And the ISFP feels great about themselves because of their ENTJ related accomplishment because they are all about accomplishment. And then the trickster function, expert intuition. They are not aware of what other people want. They are not aware of other people’s intentions to the point where they can be taken advantage of consistently. Never allow ISFP to go on a car lot by themselves to purchase something. Notice how I also said that with an ESFJ. Notice how they’re like highest compatibility on the social compatibility, huh? That’s because if an ISFP and an ESFJ go to the car lot at the same time, then they can make that purchasing decision together. And then it makes sense because all the cognition is present to make it happen, and in a way that makes sense. Otherwise, by themselves, uh-uh.
That salesmen will completely own that ISFP because the ISFP can’t see his dark intentions towards him. It’s a consistent problem. Luckily his moral compass can get in the way, but that will only go so far. The moral compass FI hero that because if they feel good, if the salesperson puts them in a good mood, they’re done. You gotta watch out with any trickster. They’re completely unaware of the intentions of others because their mind only has room to pay attention to their own intent and what they want. They don’t have time to keep track of other people’s desires. They tried and then they fail. Hey, I made you this awesome thing. Yeah. I didn’t want that, Mr. ISFP. But it’s cool. No, I don’t want that. But I thought you wanted it. No, I don’t. And then they feel bad. And then you feel guilty because you were honest with them. Great. Kind of love that. TI FE plus FI TE axis, huh? How the data just flows right through. And on this side we have TI trickster logic. ESFP’s cannot finish thoughts. True thoughts, true false thoughts, good luck. They just can’t do it. Why? Because they are amusing. Also, that means like without thought. Literally ESFP’s are without thought. They’re so focused on what everyone else is thinking, they don’t have time to focus on what they think or what they know is true or false and use logic because they’re all about beliefs. Beliefs are everything to ESFP. And sure, the ISFP is also about beliefs because they really don’t care about what’s true. True false doesn’t mean anything to them. It’s all about how they feel about everything because everything is about the human experience. Everything is about the feelings. About whether or not I believe this is a good or bad thing, not whether I know it’s true or false. It’s I believe, not I know. For both of these types, I believe is everything. I know means nothing to these people.
They care about what you know. They do not care about what they know. They only care about what they believe. It’s different. Knowing is logic. Belief is rationale. It even comes out in our sentences. Pay attention to what people see, say, and then you will realize that there’s cognitive functions at work. TI-logic. They are unaware of their thinking, so be aware of that. Make sure that if they’re saying like, oh, I feel this and they’re about to make a decision, make sure that you verify it for them. That it is actually true so they don’t go running off some random wild goose chase. ‘Cause the ESFP is very at risk of going on a goose chase, like walking down a dark alley thinking it’s okay that there’s not gonna be some guy that’s gonna jump them or rape them, et cetera. And it’s like, wow, why did you make that stupid decision? Well, I believed it would be safe. Okay, well did you actually verify it was safe? Well I don’t know how to verify TI trickster. That’s why it’s on you. The own is on you to protect the ESFP. You have to protect the ESFP from these things and you have to verify for them cause they’re not going to do it. That is your job. And especially if you’re an ESFJ or an ISFJ, they really appreciate it. Always verify because that is what protects them from themselves. They need that protection. Guess what? ISFP’s need that protection too because they sure as hell are not gonna verify with TI demon. Because if they to verify anything with TI demon, that’s gonna be a problem. It’s gonna turn into a very negative and ugly situation.
Verify for them. Always verify for your ISFP because it keeps them safe. They need somebody who’s loyal to them and willing to protect them. SFP’s need to be protected. Make sure you’re protecting them. And we already talked about the TI demon earlier, so I’m not gonna go into that. And then the NE demon. If you are not protecting them, if you are not verifying for them, if you are not being thoughtful, guess what will happen? Their actions will lead to your future being destroyed. NE demon destroys other people’s futures, destroys other people’s dreams. This is literally the dream killer. And if you have dreams, but you’re not managing your ESFP properly, they will destroy your future and take all of it away in this bottomless black hole pit of dreams that is their demon. So if you want things in your life, if you want have goals in your life and you wanna reach those goals, make sure that you are giving them the freedom to do what they want. You’re being thoughtful for them. You’re making them feel good and you’re thanking them for… and allowing them to show you things and saying, Oh, you’re giving me such a great experience. You know? And hopefully that’s real. You know what I mean? But if you don’t and they go all the way down their demon, they’ll destroy your future, because that’s what they do. Their ENTP super-ego goes in, they start becoming insincere, they start lying to you. And the decisions they make will automatically correlate to destroying your dreams, your futures, your goals. Your aspirations will be flushed down the toilet forever and there’s nothing you can do about it. Kinda like how an ESFP is gonna saddle you with 25 years of debt and you can’t get out of it. Congratulations! I’ve heard many stories about that. Be careful. Do not screw with the NE demon. Same goes for ESTP’s ’cause they have NE demon as well. Watch out for that.
So with all that in mind, that completes today’s episode on ESFP’s versus ISFP’s. If you found this lecture useful, helpful, educational, insightful, please subscribe to the channel here on YouTube and on the podcast and leave a like, because what’s not to like, right? And then if you have any questions about this, leave it in the comments section. I will answer your comments. I read every comment and probably comment on most comments. It’s important to me. I really appreciate this audience. I value this audience a big deal and I’m glad that we are growing together on this journey. Many of you provided have some insights that I haven’t considered before, which I appreciate. It has allowed me to expand my research and expand my knowledge on the subject. And many of you are also learning and changing your life and changing other people’s lives in the process. And I think that is super dope. So let’s keep it up. Let’s keep going. So, awesome. With all that being said, I’ll see you guys tonight.