Season 11, Episode 3 Transcript
– Hey guys, it’s CS Joseph with csjoseph.life doing another episode for season 11, episode three where we’re going to be comparing the ESFJ to the ENFJ. Both of them have Fe Hero and many people out there who have Fe Hero, like, but I don’t know if I’m a mentor or if I’m a supporter. I don’t know if I’m a guardian or if I am an idealist because we’re both affiliative and we like asking for permission before we do things typically and we just wanna make sure that things are done safely and no one’s going to get hurt. And we’re all just really nice and happy people, right? Okay, sure, fair enough. Fe Hero, we love Fe Hero. Fe Hero is the dopest, right? I mean, like I sleep with one, right? So the point is, Fe Hero is pretty great but sometimes when you have Fe Hero, you just don’t know if you are the ESFJ or the ENFJ, so this particular lecture is going to kind of outline it for you so that you understand and can make a decision. Decisions are awesome, right? Because your J’s, right? Yeah. Anyway, before we begin, don’t forget we are doing our giveaway. Another round of the giveaway, giving away a copy of “King, Warrior, Magician, Lover.” For those of you who love in depth psychology, and it is by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette, is a fantastic book. Helps explain the mature masculine and is definitely a model for helping explain the mature feminine, although we explore that in season 13, right now here on this YouTube channel. But until such time, I recommend King, Warrior, Magician, Lover for those of you that wanna understand the mature masculine that is being given away here on this channel for free.
All you have to do is subscribe to the channel on YouTube and leave a like and a comment on this lecture in order to enter to win. And obvious since we do rounds, multiple lectures are a part of the rounds which means you have a higher chance of winning if you subscribe, like, and comment on multiple lectures in which the giveaway is mentioned. Dope. Anyway, so back to it, we actually kind of have a little bit less time today, so we’re gonna try to roll through this while we have the opportunity to do so. Let me look at the clock here. Yeah, we should be able to handle it. So trying to keep this about 32 minutes long and we’ll see if we can actually handle it. So anyway, without further ado, let’s begin. So we have the ESFJ and the ENFJ, okay. So what are the differences? What are the similarities? We’re gonna find out right now. So ESF’s are informative, ENFJ’s are direct. If you don’t know the difference between direct and informative, you need to watch season two or you need to watch season 15 or both here on this YouTube channel to find out about this information. Interaction style wise, ENFJ’s are in charge, AKA structured ties which they are direct initiating control. Whereas the ESFJ, on this side is the informative initiating movement. So they’re both initiating, they like to initiate with others to get the information that they’re looking for, but one is movement, one is control. Control means they go at their own pace, they take their time to do things, especially decision-making, sometimes verification where ESFJ’s, they fly by the seat of their pants, they don’t waste time, they’re going speed racer and fixing things and handling things and watching over the family and making sure that things are done quickly and in an orderly fashion, right? So this is what happens with ESFJ’s with their interaction style, they are starters, they like to start a lot of things, they put a lot of energy in the starter things but then they Peter out and then as a result of that, they have a hard time finishing things.
ENFJ’s don’t really have that problem. It’s not about starting or finishing, it’s just about getting things done and having a plan and a list of tasks. And then we just kind of go for it and move from there. That’s not to say that ESFJ’s have plans, I mean, they can have plans, but they usually actually rely on their SFP counterparts to create the plan for them, and then they use their plan and then execute that plan that was created for them. Whereas the ENFJ actually, it’s kind of actually a little similar what they do, but they can actually create their own plans if they are like by themselves. So anyway, that’s the interaction style. So again, using the tight grid, if you know their interaction style, you can eliminate 12 of the types and know which four types, and you just have to figure out what the temperament is. So temperament wise, EFSJ’s are guardians. So they are past, focused, duty based, protectors, focused on safety. They’re all about what they should do. Versus the ENFJ, the ENFJ is all about what it wants to do, what they want to do. They’re very wanty, very willful. It’s all about willpower, it’s all about having the freedom of desire and passion. Whereas the ESFJ, lol, passion, not really. ESFJ’s are all about what they should do, they are duty based, right? I’ve observed many ESFJ’s coming over and then they just start doing the dishes even though they don’t even live there. For example, it is a common thing for ESFJ’s to do, right? Because they are doing their duty and they want to be helpful and they believe it is their duty to be helpful, right. Whereas with ENFJ’s, it’s all about, I desire to be helpful because I desire to be helpful. I’m going to be helpful and give you this good experience because this is what I desire to do, right?
That is one of the major differences between ESFJ’s and ENFJ’s. So if you’re all about what you want, chances are, you’re the ENFJ. If you’re all about what you should do, chances are you are the ESFJ for example, right? The supporter versus the mentor. So let’s start our now deep dive into the cognitive functions. First up, we have Fe Hero. In fact, actually both of them have Fe Hero. And if Fe Hero is all about ethics, right? They make decisions based on how the group feels or how a family feels or how the community feels or how the church feels or how Trump feels. It doesn’t no, that’s not what I mean, I mean, Trump is all about like how he feels. And he only cares about how he feels and not how anyone else feels, but for some reason, people think he’s an ESTP, and because ESTP’s like, care about how other people feel, that’s obviously Trump. Yeah, no, no, no, no. That’s bullshit. Actually, he’s an ENTJ and ENTJ’s just don’t really give a about how anyone else feels. But luckily for these two types, they’re all about caring about what other people feel. They always, always, with every single decision they make, they always consider the social cost of their decisions, are always aware of how other people feel. And they seek to make people feel better, to feel good so that other people actually could value themselves, right. They want others to feel valued as a result of their input. This also causes a huge craving with both these types for recognition.
Recognition and being recognized for doing a good job, for example or getting feedback would be like, oh wow, this meal is so good and it tastes so great. Or, oh, you make your home so cozy and comfy. And I really love it here. I feel so great about coming over every single time. Oh, and it just warms the heart of the ESFJ and they just melt into a puddle. Yeah. Okay, fair enough, Fe Hero, it’s all about making other people feel good. And both of them do that. This is one of the reasons why it’s hard to tell the difference between the two, because they both do this, right. So Fe hero, okay, fair enough. We have an understanding of Fe Hero, but ah, this is where things get a little bit interesting. Their parents and child is different. So the parent function is all about where a person’s sense of responsibility exists. Okay, that’s the parent, responsible parent, because has to take care of the children, it has to like kind of more self-sacrifice itself, for the sake of the other functions, it’s all about responsibility and it can speak out against Fe Hero sometimes, keep the Hero in check because the Hero might actually be causing damage to the children if you know what I mean. But the point is parent, Si parent, duty, passed. So they are very responsible with their memory. This is why ESFJ’s have this problem where they can remember everything. And I’m not even kidding, they can remember everything, I mean like things from like 40 years ago and they’re gonna tell you all about it. And it’s like, wow. I mean, my grandmother, she’s an ESFJ, and she wrote this book called titled, “Out of the Hills”, for example, I think it’s even actually available on Amazon. Did I like literally just plug my grandmother’s book on YouTube?
Well, did not mean to do that, but I mean, whatever. But yes, she lived in the great depression, she wrote all about it and her childhood and it is a available for people who actually care about that sort of thing. But I mean, I have Se demon and quite frankly, I’m not really into reading books about other people’s pasts so much. I wanna say it’s something that will directly like impact what I’m doing personally, because I’m very pragmatic that way, but I’m sure someone who’s affiliative, they totally go for that. Pragmatic means you’re independent, affiliative means you’re interdependent. Just so you guys know. If you don’t know what that means, again, watch season 15, please, God almighty watch season 15. Then like we could all be on the same page when it comes to typing people. That would be nice. So ESFJ’s, they’re all about past focused and then their past focuses because of Si parent, Si parent, they have you’re responsible long-term attention hard drive, they can remember everything long-term, right. And because in their old age, this is why ESFJ’s are more prone to dementia. Dementia is actually something that attacks their short-term memory, but their long-term memory is intact, Alzheimer’s is the exact opposite. Their short-term memory is present but their long-term memory is what ends up being coming destroyed. And that could be a problem. Oh, that’s what happens to ENFJ’s when they have similar conditions, they develop Alzheimer’s whereas ESFJ’s developed dementia. Interesting how the cognitive functions can come out and affect one’s diseases, right? Well, why is that? Well, because unlike the ESFJ, ENFJ’s, they live in the moment with their Se child and their Si Trickster just has no idea because the Si trickster is very forgetful.
ENFJ’s are quite frankly the most forgetful of all types, in fact, the most forgetful of all the types, just like the ENTJ, for example, but they’re freaking forgetful. So, okay, if you don’t know if you’re like an ESFJ or an EMFJ, if you’re forgetful, you’re in the ENFJ, if you can remember everything, and I mean, literally everything, it’s the, ESFJ. Pretty simple to figure that one out guys, fair enough. So, and then we have Ni parent where the ENFJ responsibly is aware of what they want, right. And they are very wanting, I mean like seriously. like, Ni Heroes and Ni Parents, basically NJ’s. NJ’s are fantastic, especially in the bar scene because like, I could be like some guy hanging out at the bar, enjoying my drink, playing on my phone, not really doing anything at all, and all of a sudden this cute NJ girl comes up to me and like, hey. And I’m like, whoa, dope. You know? And then all of a sudden she’s initiating with me whatnot, it’s because her Ni Parent caused her to do so because she literally is expressing desire for me and any hero and any parents, AKA NP’s are totally the people that get off on that. And because of that, that’s why NJ women don’t be afraid initiating with NP men because that’s probably what you’re supposed to do. So why don’t you do that? Because it might have more success as a result because the NP guys, it’s not that they’re chicken, it’s not that they’re not willing to initiate with women, they just have very low extroverted sensing, and you have very high extroverted sensing. And guess what, I’m sorry to say but people with very extroverted sensing kind of come off as like super creepy as to the majority of women, especially in the bar scene.
And that’s not exactly something that I would recommend coming off as like ever, unless you wanna find yourself thrown into a dumpster by like their friends. Yay. And then like your reputation is destroyed around town. Rhymes with this one ENTP that lives in Wisconsin at one point in time, he’s like a big time E-online player but, poor guy, he ended up having some drama happened to him on the Facebook and is because, well, people talk right. So best not to come off as some creeper even though you really not creepy because he’s probably not, but it’s not about that. It’s people’s perceptions because remember in the TE realm, it’s all about belief because in the absence of communication or explanation, perceptions become reality, right? So you have to be aware of those perceptions, you have to manage those perceptions, that so, if you are an NP, definitely like avoid the creeper scene by allowing the women in the bar to actually initiate with you instead of initiating with them. Oh, but that is so counter-culture Mr. Joseph, how dare you say that? And I’m like, because that’s how it works. You’re probably wondering why things weren’t really successful for you to begin with on the bar scene weren’t ya? And guess what ENFJ’s exist, especially ENFJ women exist to not have that issue. And I will say, I am with an ENFJ woman right now, and she did initiate with me and we’ve been together for a very long amount of time. So as a result, that’s a really good relationship, right. So having that relationship, it came from the fact that she initiated with me and it was really nice. It’s because extrovert intuition, Hero parents really like it when other people want them. Right. And guess what? Introvert intuition with parent is all about being wanty and wanting things and having desire and passion for things.
Right, well, but that’s not how EFSJ’s work. So again, if you’re lacking willpower, if you just are so frustrated that you don’t ever get to do what you want, right, and someone’s trying to make you do the vibe which will like not really happen because ENFJ’s and Si Trickster, they don’t really have a sense of duty, it’s all about what they want. So when you’re trying to obligate ENFJ, that’s the quickest way to make them go like super rage mode, they go ISTP rage, or, maybe even superego ESTJ rage, ISTP rage versus ESTJ rage. And that would be like really bad for anyone who’s like going to come in the crossfire in that direction. Not what I recommend. So please like avoid that. Remember EFJS are all about wanting to give you a good experience, whereas the ESFJ doesn’t care about giving you a good experience. The ESFJ is all about what experience they are receiving. The ESFJ exists for you to give them an experience, not the other way around don’t expect any ESFJ to give you an good experience, an ESFJ is just going to do their duty. And that means cooking a nice meal for you, they’re gonna cook you a nice meal, but outside of that, like, they’re not really gonna go flamboyant out of it. And that’s why ESFJ’s tend to like dress more plainly whereas ENFJ’s tend to be more vibrant with their dress, especially women because of their Se child.
It’s all about being that show off and showy, and Hey, I wanna show you this thing or, hey, I wanna make you really comfortable with this way, or, hey, I’m a homemaker and I’m gonna have this amazing vibrant home for you. And it’s very cozy and whatnot, but it’s so much more than that. Expert sensing is about giving others and experience. And because it’s Se Child, they wanna give others the best possible, the ideal experience, especially because like, you know ENFJ is an NF, AKA the idealist whereas the ESFJ is an is SJ, AKA the guardian and the ideals is constantly focused on what is that the ideal. So ideally, they wanna give you the ideal experience, right. And that’s what they do their Se Child. So when an ENFJ is typically running like a shindig of some kind because that’s what they do, especially like ENFJ men. I mean, I used to work for one and he had these amazing barbecues at his house that he like never invited me to. Hmm, I wonder why? Anyway, but the point was is that any time that there was an event that was hosted by this ENFJ or any ENFJ, they always make sure that 100% of every human being that ever comes up is comfortable, is spoken to, is understood and has an opportunity to open up. And they’re constantly trying to make sure that every human being present is getting a good experience. This is why also when they cut for a bunch of people, if one person doesn’t like what they cooked, they feel like the most horrible cook in the world. And they feel really guilty because they have Fe Hero.
They’re very guilty. But guess what is that? ESFJ’s are also guilty as well. Gosh, did I just literally change an idea without even having like a period in my sense? Totally. Anyway, Fe Hero, very ethical about how other people feel, but it can feel guilt. These two types are so easily manipulated by guilt, do not guilt them. And by the way, if you are an Fe Hero, please understand that people could be guilting you for malicious reasons, especially like NFP’s or SFP’s. They’re very good. Fi Heroes and Fi Parents are very good at guilting people, especially you, Fe Heroes. be aware of how guilt is a manipulation tool against you. Also, I’m sure you are aware of it because you can use guilt as a weapon too, it goes both ways. So please watch out those of you out there who get guilted, maybe you’re being guilted by an Fe Hero or maybe you’re guilting the Fe Hero, be very careful, manipulation is not something negative, manipulation is not something I recommend, even though like, technically all social interaction is technically manipulation, but my point, you see my point, you understand? Okay, yeah, fine, we can move on. So we now have Ti and Inferior and this is one of the gateway functions. The gateway functions was the first, the fourth, the fifth and the eighth function that gateway functions. So this is the second gateway function, the gateway into the subconscious. And this is where ESFJ’s and ENFJ’s have a really tough time. And it is because of their logic. They are constantly afraid that they’re incorrect in their own thinking. So here’s my advice to those of you out there, if you are afraid that what you think is wrong and how that can kind of like, you wanna make a decision and you’re gonna make a decision but you’re not sure you should make decisions because you don’t know if it’s the true, false decision, you don’t know if it’s true or not. Well, guess what, maybe you should spend time verifying. This especially beats up ESFJ’s because they’re movement oriented and because they’re so movement, they are at risk of making decisions too quickly which can cause them huge backlash. Luckily, ENFJ’s don’t have that as much of a problem because they’re very control oriented and things are much slower. And they give themselves time to actually think through things, which means they can actually be more effective in decision-making in the longterm because of that whereas the ESFJ’s is kind of at risk of making it up as they go and they don’t really have any, unless they have specific self-discipline in place to verify what they know, then they’re gonna get screwed. This is why both these types constantly ask people, hey, how do you feel about this? How do you feel about this? How do you feel about this idea, et cetera. And they’re constantly asking people how they feel, hey, do you value this idea? Because they believe that if someone values the idea that they have, that makes their idea to true. Yeah, I know, that’s not true. That’s actually bullshit, but for some reason, then these two types are totally okay with, hey, this guy feels really good about my idea. So it must be true. Okay, that’s not necessarily true. Younger ENFJ’s and younger ESFJ’s do this. The more experienced mature ones don’t necessarily do this because they know better because they’ve learned their lesson in life, right? So how can that like be a problem?
Well, there’s a lot of reasons why that can be a problem. How do you deal with this? How do you solve the mystery of being so insecure in your own thinking? Because these two types are insecure in their own thinking. They are afraid that they’re stupid. Quite frankly, that’s really what it comes down to. These two types are afraid of being stupid. So if you are an Fe Hero which means you have Ti Inferior automatically because these two functions are connected to each other in a cognitive axis. If you haven’t figured that out yet, maybe you should watch my season playlist here on YouTube that talks about cognitive synchronicity that shows you how the cognitive functions are linked together. And yin and yang equilibrium with each other, and how cognition flows through the mind, et cetera. You might wanna watch that so that you can get educated as to how this works. But anyway, they’re linked together, you see here, you only got that nice little red there, Ti and Fe, et cetera. Well, what does that mean? What that means is it’s not good enough to just go to someone else and be like, hey, how do you feel about my idea? It’s not good enough, especially since you’re going to be like asking an Fi user, and Fi users are all about rationale and rationale is what other people think, right? So they’re just gonna be regurgitating to you someone else’s thought instead of actually verifying, okay, of course this is not necessarily true for ISTJ’s and INTJ’s because they have Ti Critic. they still have to verify their beliefs at the end of the day.
But the point is verification is your responsibility, it’s not good enough to just ask someone how they feel about your idea. You have to verify it yourself, which means as an ENFJ, you actually have to literally have the desire to verify everything over and over and over again constantly so that you can, as a result, know what you think is true or false. Spend time, look it up, do research, verify what people say, verify what you do. Okay, but yeah, but afraid of coming off like some bitch, because I’m telling the truth and I did the research and then people don’t it after I call them out, you know? And it’s like, so what? Ti is all about breathing fire. You’re teaching somebody and you’re improving them by breathing fire of introverted thinking logic on them so that the lies get burned away, right? And then they’re not living a lie anymore because even a small lie in them can grow into this big thing and their belief systems completely wrong. And it’s harming other people because of what they think is true is not actually true. And it’s on you, Fe Heroes and Ti Inferiors, you ENFJ’s, you ESFJ’s to actually verify everything, it’s on you to do it. You have to spend the extra time to make sure that you are verifying everything you know, because an Fi user who you’re likely paired up with in relationships will just regurgitate their belief system. It has nothing to do with true or false. It’s just like, well, I feel like that’s true. Yeah, that’s really good enough. How about you just spend time verifying on your own instead of relying on your Fi user all the time for how they feel about what you think. Because that’s really going to be very beneficial to you, especially when you’re making critical decisions, like buying a car. ESFJ’s, buying cars, really? ‘Cause they’re so easily manipulated on the car lot. It’s so ridiculous. And that trickster, oh, never knows what it wants and it can be so easily taken for a ride, it’s not effective at all. Don’t do it.
Always verify. ENFJ’s need to have the willpower and to literally want, Ni Parent right there, literally want what they are verify. They have to want to verify. Okay, whereas ESFJ’s is different, they have this thing called Si Parents. So well, it’s like figure out how to use the camera here. Anyway, Si Parent, you have to have the self-discipline to force yourself to verify, you have to literally force yourself to verify everything other people say. I don’t care how bad you think they’re gonna feel after you tell them the truth or are you telling the disagreement, it is your duty, it is your responsibility to do this for other people and do this for yourself. If you are not doing this, you are irresponsible. And quite frankly, you’re at risk of being a bad person. Don’t do that, always verify. That is how you unlock the other side of your mind because an ENFJ, when they are always verified, they can use their ISTP as result which gives them additional mechanical capabilities. And they can be like these awesome grease monkeys, they could change tires, they could fix on cars. You know what I mean? They’re able to have really good mechanical mastery as a result, for ESFJ’s, they unlock the INTP and they can create amazing theoretical science and applications that have these amazing theories that they could test, and then it actually can turn them in to be really, really brilliant people as a result, all because they took the time to verify something. Verification is everything. And then there’s Ne Child of the ENFJ, Ne Child’s all about what other want and wants to give people balloons and candy, hey, what do you want? And they get to kind of see a little bit into the face of other people and they can warn people and protect people about what might happen because they’re aware of the, what if as a result whereas the ENFJ with their Se Child is all about the what is, what is happening right now versus this is the, what if, what do they want?
And this is why SFJ’s has go really good with SFP’s because SFP’s are all about what they want and the SFJ just wants to give the SFPs what they want, right? It’s all about sharing, right? And they want to share, and they wanna like, Hey, what do you want? And then just tell me what you want, you know? And then they’ll give them what they want, right, because that they believe is their duty to do so, right. So we already talked about Ti Inferior. Let’s talk about Fi Nemesis, both types of Fi Nemesis. Fi Nemesis is where they worry about their self-worth. Yes, ESFJ’s and ENFJ’s, both worry that they’re bad people. They literally walk around worried that they’re bad people, they’re not good enough or they’re not worthy enough. Right. This is a serious problem for them. This is another reason why they crave recognition so much of their Fe Hero. Give them the recognition they deserve, always give them the recognition they deserve, that way they’re never worried about feeling like they’re a bad person or not or they’re not good enough, or they’re not deserving enough of you, or in your relationship, or they’re not a good mother, or they’re not a good, insert label here because they have Te Demon, both these types of Te Demon, and Te Demon assigns the most stupidest labels to themselves all the time.
And they’re constantly looking to you to provide good labels so that you label them, oh, you’re like the best woman I’ve ever met for example, or you’re like the strongest man. I know, they crave labels and those labels mean recognition to them and they just label them to death. Or you can label them to like super high cloud nine status mentally. They’re all about labels. So be very careful about labels around these two types because their Fi Nemesis will engage and then they’ll start to worry that they’re a bad person and they’ll start overcompensating. And let me tell you when these two types overcompensate, bad things happen. In fact, I know an ENFJ who started overcompensating and then they ended up wrecking overcompensation. Do not let these two types worry about being good enough or worthy enough or good people, they really are. You just have to remind them of it. Now luckily, the ESFJ can remember all the good they’ve done for other people, which if they’re not getting that recognition, they get super bitter real quick. But the ENFJ struggles in this area because they don’t really remember all the good that they’ve done for other people. So you have to remind them, you have to list it out for the ENFJ so that they remember, checking the time. ’cause I’m almost running out here. So anyway, just be aware of Fi Nemesis, be very aware of it.
They always need to feel good about themselves. So you give them the recognition that they need to make that happen. So you have Se Critic right here Se Critic is well, ESFJ’s, can become pretty good athletes with Se Critic. And they were very critical towards the physics of the moment. This is what causes them to be clean freaks around the house. The house has gotta be clean, your clothes have to be parameter proper, you have to dress super professional. You know, they’re gonna point out someone with their shoes untied. They’re like literally those people if you don’t give a good, like visual representation or good first impression, they’re seriously going to judge you for it because that’s just how it is. And because they’re very critical about how the way things should go. So like, if you’re dealing with like an ESFJ mother-in-law and father-in-law, they are constantly judging you saying, wow, that guy is not good enough for my daughter or my son because like, or whoever that person is, right. Constantly judging whoever married their child basically, because there’s something off about them or they’re not normal, or they’re not regular, tight. So Se Critic can do that. And this is one of the reasons why I can’t stand SJ sometimes because Se Nemesis and Se Critic really like to beat up people because they have this huge normalcy bias and this huge expectation of what they perceive as normal. And because they’re the majority of 40% of the world’s population of the concrete temperaments, 40% of the population, because they’re majority they arrogantly, naturally arrogantly believe that they are the norm because they’re the majority, right.
And Se Critic, this is how it comes out with Se Critics, they’re constantly criticizing us, especially intuitives because they’re intuitive, they’re like, well, they’re weak, I don’t want them. This is why for example, Se Critics, ESTJ women and ESFJ women specifically almost required that if they are going to end up with a man, that man will be an SP, and that man is capable of building their own house with his own hands. Okay. You know, versus a dude like me, like, I’m an ENTP. I don’t really care, I’ll just buy the house or I’ll pay someone to build it for me. Do I have to build it? No, I don’t care.
But they care and they have that expectation. They’re like, but I want those men with those really strong hands, because they know those strong hands will give them a good experience because Si wants to receive the experience with the strong handed SP, right. That’s how Se Critic works. Se Critic is all about being critical of the physical environment. It’s why everything has to be clean, there’s no dog hair, your shoes are always tied, your hair is done, you’re shaved. They take it very, very seriously, right? And it’s a part of their professionals, but it also comes off as snobbish and elitist. So be really careful ESFJ’s that you’re not coming off snobbish and elitist because people like me will go the other direction. And in fact, we’ll probably go out of our way to put obstacles in your way that you don’t even know, specifically because we can’t stomach your elitism because your Se Critic has literally given free reign to do whatever it wants in this SJ society. Please be very careful about this, manage your Se Critic because it is at risk of not being ideal for anyone as a result. So then we have the a Ne Critic. This can be an issue for the ENFJ’s. Ne Critic is very critical towards the intentions of others, critical towards the fates of others, critical towards what other people will do ahead of time. Why, why is this an issue? It’s an issue because they can jump to conclusions about other people’s intent. Like, oh, you’re cheating on me because of X, Y, and Z. And it’s like, no, I’m not cheating on you because of this.
Oh, you know. They can alienate people with their Ne Critic because they can assume that you have negative intent towards them. ENFJ’s, especially ENFJ women in SJ society, SJ first-world society, like the United States of America or the United Kingdom, for example, ENFJ women just kind of assume that the men in their life, assume that the men in their life will betray them. And it’s because of extroverted intuition critic. Not only that, the ENFJ men have this issue too. And that’s why, like I’ve seen so many NFJ men tracking their wives phones on like a regular basis because they’re so critical towards the intentions of their wives, because it’s like, oh, is she sleeping around on me or something. And I’m like, dude, no, she’s not. She loves you and she’s loyal to you, and she consistently demonstrates her loyalty to you like every single day. Where do you get off by thinking that? Right. Well, it’s because they’re very forgetful. That’s Si Trickster. Si Trickster is super forgetful And they have a hard time remembering all the good things that their lovers have done for them or their close friends have done for them that demonstrate loyalty to them. This is why loyalty is so needed by the ENFJ, needed by the Se Child, because they need someone that’s going to follow them over a cliff so that there are Ne Critic is not proven right about, oh, this person’s going to betray me at one point in time. Right? Well, there’s also causes of a self fulfilling prophecy and a self-fulfilling prophecy is if you keep assuming that that person’s going to betray you or if you keep assuming that that person is going to cheat on you or whatever, and then you start acting out as if they are, guess what, you’re going to cause that person to cheat on you.
You’re going to cause that person to betray you because they’re so bitter towards you. Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer give a damn, right. Stop doing loyalty checks and ENFJ’s are all about loyalty checks. Their Se Child is constantly pushing other people away to see if they’ll come back. And yeah, their virtue has benevolence but their vice is cruelty. And I’m sorry, you’ll never find anyone more cruel than an ENFJ. I know I have one in my life. She shares my bed for example, and it can be really difficult, right? ENFJ’s, they can be super cruel because they know what their Fe Hero, and their Se Child exactly where to hit you hard, hit you the most, right. Be very careful with that. So always state your intentions, you’re never the problem. And remember that they’re very forgetful. And we already talked about Te Demon. So let’s look over here. Ni Trickster, we already talked about, Ni Tricksters don’t know what they want. Never let an ESFJ do what they want. Only tell them what they should and keep tracking on what they should do. We already talked about Te Demon. ENTJ Demon when it activates, because they’re not getting enough recognition or you’re not giving them their day in court, you’re not listening to their thinking, always listened to the thinking of an ESFJ and an ENFJ and always get the recognition. If you’re not giving them recognition and you are not listening to them, their Te Demon will activate and they will literally control your life. They will control your life, they will control your reputation, they will absolutely everything about you. And you’re completely screwed.
And you don’t even know. And over here, you have the ESTJ superego. It’s the same thing, they will also control your life. Except this time they’ll actually have a whip, Whereas, this is more of an economic hit with their ENTJ superego. They will not only control your life, they will control your life very economically, oh man. Good luck, good luck. They’ll destroy your business, they’ll destroy your reputation, they will take everything away from you. Even your bed, even the clothes on your back, they will take it all back. They will take because it’s like, I’ve given so much to you, right, you owe me everything else, right. Whereas the ESTJ is like, I’m just going to force you to do everything I want you to do because you deserve it. And I’m gonna pull out the whip and I’m gonna beat you until you get your head straight. The beatings will continue until morale improves. Yeah, well that statement was invented by ESTJ superego. And yeah.
So anyway, that concludes this episode for season 11 episode three, how do ESFJ’s compare to ENFJ’s. If you like what you saw here and enjoyed this, if it was insightful, enlightening, helpful, all those things, educational, leave a like on this lecture and also subscribe to the channel here on YouTube and on the podcast. Leave a comment, if you have any questions about these two types and I’ll answer your comments. I spend a lot of time on the comments every day and emails. So just thank you for the communication, I’ll keep answering comments. I don’t always see every comment because I’m not sure that the notification is giving me to them but every now and then I’ve perused the videos and I actually like see comments and I try to like answer even old ones sometimes. Don’t forget our give away for King, Warrior, Magician, Lover, be a subscriber to the channel, like this lecture and leave a comment. And don’t forget our discord group. Please join it, so you can get on our Q&A session because our next one is on Friday and also join our meetup group as well. The links are in the description of this lecture. So awesome. Wow, I think I just barely made it in time. So you folks have a good night and I’ll see you next time.