How Do ESFJ With ENTP Relationships Work? | CS Joseph Responds
CS Joseph Responds to the Acolyte monthly member question what does a relationship between an ESFJ and an ENTP look?
Hey what’s up video hackers. Welcome to CS Joseph podcast. I’m your host CS Joseph. And today we’re going to be doing an acolyte question.
Today’s question is, what does the relationship between an ESFJ and an ENTP look like? Short answer, absolute hell? Long answer. Let’s let’s explain why. So, conflict types, these two types are conflict types. Conflict types are a big issue.
They are the extrovert or the introverted variants of each other within their quadra, basically, it’s how you identify a conflict type. So, conflict types, basically, are naturally competitive with each other very competitive. Reason, why is it because both of these types have all of the same cognitive functions in their top four slots, meaning they have the same cognitive functions within the context of their ego, basically, which is really frustrating. Both these types are seeking to be desired by others, both these types are seeking comfort, both of these types are trying to get listened to.
And both these types are trying to be the highest priority to other people. If you put both of them in a relationship, they’re looking to the other person to fulfill these psychological needs. And that can be a problem, because this ends up creating some severe issues. And one of the issues and how those issues are created is through a process known as soft blocking.
Soft blocking is a psychological component. Basically what happens is, is that when your functions are interacting with another person, basically, when they’re interacting with another person, your mind will soft, lock them and their mind will soft lock you into one of the four sides your mind for size, your mind being ego, subconscious, unconscious and super ego. So that sucks. Why? Well, think about it this way.
Extroverted feeling Hiro is looking for its counterpart Introverted feeling. So that’s an ESFJ. But where’s it going to find it very feeling within the confines of an intp. And that ENTP is going to be it’s going to have to go to its INTJ shadow, which is Introverted Feeling trickster, right.
Same thing goes with expert intuition hero trying to find Introverted Intuition within the confines of the unconscious of it the ESFJ, right. The unconscious, what happens here is that expert intuition here is going to try to find Introverted Intuition trickster. Now remember, these are both optimistic functions. So when you have a function that’s looking for its counterpart, it can only find a counterpart that has the same type of frequency being optimism or pessimism, right.
pessimistic slots, naturally our parent inferior, optimistic and then also critic and demon, optimistic slots our hero, child, Nemesis and trickster. So all these functions are matching up together, basically. So those functions, which is pretty awesome that that’s happening, and that’s going on? Well, both these types just on the hero functions alone are soft, locking each other into each other’s unconscious. Basically, they’re walking around, they’re interacting with one another, and they’re basically telling the other person like, Hey, your ego doesn’t matter.
I’d rather you be your unconscious when you’re around me. What this happens is that this happens consistently with these two types. They end up in a situation where they’re constantly putting each other into other sides of the mind that are not their ego. We’re looking at Introverted Sensing parent, right? Same thing soft locking in the unconscious for the extroverted sensing demon of the intp.
Right. It’s just over and over and over, that this keeps happening over and over. Right. So you go down the entire function stack.
You try to find their counterparts you will notice that they will just put each other into each other shadow. And what this ends up doing is creating feelings of unexpectedness, basically in these two types, where they just don’t accept each other. And it’s because they are competing for the same things. Right? They both have si pessimistic, they both have extraverted.
feeling optimistic. They both have Introverted Thinking pessimistic. And both have extroverted intuition optimistic. But still when their function is to look to the car floor counterparts are soft locking each other into each other’s shadows.
And this can be a big problem over time. Because what this does is it starts to rewrite the neural pathways inside of the brain. And basically creates, you know, especially if this is like something that happened in childhood, this basically creates a situation, a big situation where it’s like, Hey, you’re not good enough as you are. So you have to be this other person that creates unconscious development, basically, unconscious development through prolonged exposure of these two types with one another.
As what that is basically happening over and over and over. It’s really lame. I had a huge sibling rivalry still do to a point. With my ESF J sister.
She’s constantly trying so hard to find validation with her extroverted feeling hero, but often does not get it in our immediate family. My extra feeling child is also the same going for it consistently. Trying to get it from any person that we were near, or a part of where that we knew basically happened so many times, over, and over, and over. And it was not, it was not a good experience.
It’s a point where she actually still hates my guts to this day, when if only she knew it was just nothing more than a personality concept, you know, conflict. Because our functions are basically competing with each other for the same thing. There’s no higher level of competition for functions than in a conflict type. There just isn’t.
And that’s why conflict types typically just hate each other, or become rivals in some capacity. Which is really sad, if you think about it. Very sad. And to be honest, I do regret a lot of what’s happened, you know, in my childhood between my relationship with my sister, but none of it could be helped, especially since in my immediate family, there is not a single source of Introverted feeling.
And I think this is one of the reasons why I often feel safer in relationships with you know, for example, women who are ti Fe users, instead of fit users, I will admit that I often feel way more comfortable with Templar types than I do wayfarers. Wayfair, relationships have always just blown up in my face. Or I’ve just not been able to cope my way through it properly. And it’s not, it’s not like an intention, you know, it’s not like, it’s just something that I’ve noticed, that has happened.
And it’s something I like, work really hard to shake all the time, but doesn’t really do well. I just really struggle with connecting with wafers, in a big way. A very big way. But don’t give up.
Don’t give up but at the same time, it’s still it’s still really problematic, ultimately. So yeah, conflict types conflict types end up becoming these problems. So anyway, I think I’ve hammered this question hammered at home pretty well. So anyway, folks, thanks for watching and listening, like and subscribe, and I’ll see you guys on the next episode.