cs joseph responds
How can you tell if an INFP doesn’t like you? Before I can answer, please subscribe to the channel so I can practice psychoanalyzing crustaceans with my cousin Mike on his boat. Yeah, whatever. And hit the alert bell so that you can get notified when I go live. That being said, what’s up EgoHackers, I’m CS Joseph here to answer your questions regarding Jungian analytical psychology with Four Sides of the Mind. And the source of today’s question, “How can you tell if an INFP doesn’t like you?” well it’s on Quora, so let’s take a look. All right, we have 26 answers, that’s a lot of answers. I wonder if they have very large books, let’s find out. Oh, there is it. First thing, you got the book. Cat Kelly, INFP, artist. “As an INFP, I have grappled long and hard with the whole challenge of disliking someone, while at the same time, knowing exactly why I don’t like that person. As an intuitive person, I might just “feel” something about the person or be able to size them up based on an interaction and then forever feel “put off.”” Okay, is this like a vibe thing? Okay, they’re doing a lot of effort to explain something that – okay. No, no. All right, or Alyssa Starkflower. “Disclaimer: this answer doesn’t necessarily apply to all INFPs; I am one INFP in a world of INFPs so if you don’t relate to this, every INFP is different.” Okay, there’s another book. Gosh, I’m not going to read all of this. This is like, I’m sure there’s really valuable information in here, at least, I hope there is. Uh, so yeah. “Generally INFPs don’t dislike people too much, they just aren’t interested in making new close friends. If you find them spacier than usual, constantly detached from conversations, and/or finding excuses more often as to not of why they can’t hang out, they likely do not wish to pursue a friendship right now. This is nothing against you, they just have their few close friends and are good. If an INFP legitimately doesn’t like you they will avoid you, which is likely because you are either rude, mean, judgemental, or too touchy-feely.” Not exactly accurate, but the spirit in which that’s mentioned is kind of accurate. So that’s fine. All right, we have LE Ham who claims to be an INFP and we have another book written here so fair enough. That’s cool. “Also, INFPs are HIGHLY intuitive, so if we don’t like someone, it’s 9 times out of 10 for an EXTREMELY good reason.” Okay, what does being intuitive have to do with extremely good reason? I don’t understand that. Then we have Wendy Moncur, “You’ve been ghosted.” This is the best comment here. Thank you Wendy, that’s amazing. Christopher F Clark, MBTI, Enneagram, OCEAN enthusiast. Okay. It can be subtle, not as subtle as an INFP might wish it to be. Okay, sure. Disliking someone can be subtle, that’s technically accurate but kind of general. Hashtag Barnum Effect, maybe, I don’t know. You know what, this is just ridiculous. I can’t read all this. I’m sure you folks could go to this specific Quora page and find out for yourselves. But I’m just gonna provide my answer. So, how can you tell if an INFP doesn’t like you? It’s when they’re like insanely indifferent to you, basically. I mean are they giving you attention or are they not giving you attention? It really comes down to that. So all introverted sensors know when to leverage their attention towards other people or not to leverage their attention towards other people. This is very consistent, this is very normal for people. And the reason why is because extroverted sensors need the attention provided by introverted sensors, it’s a really big deal. And so based on that, even me being an Si inferior, Rayogun’s biggest need, my wife, she’s an extroverted sensing hero and she really is constantly trying to get my attention at all times, and my Si inferior is like no, I’m gonna spend my attention on things that I want to spend it on and it every now and then I’ll share my attention with you or sometimes I won’t because I’m busy being responsible and you know working all the time or not working all the time but regardless, her need as an ESTP is attention. All extroverted sensors need attention, especially INJs, they need attention the most, to the point that sometimes they even force attention, wait a minute all extroverted sensors in some cases actually force attention, with the exception of maybe an extroverted sensing parent. But, be that as it may, because an INFP is very interest based, they’re knowing what they get out of certain situations versus what you are getting out of certain situations, so they know that when they’re giving someone their attention, that’s what they’re getting out of it, so what they end up doing is if they don’t like somebody, they withhold that attention entirely. Just like me, I also withhold my attention entirely from people, especially like for example INJs because it’s like why am I giving you my attention you’re being disrespectful, get out of my life or you know, I’ve said that to many an INJ in my life, and then also sometimes they get like super upset that it’s like I’m not giving them enough attention. But oftentimes, INFPs end up having that issue as well. It’s even to the point where INFPs have been unfairly, maybe fairly, but for the most part I think because of how sensitive INJs are when they’re like in relationships or friendships with INJs, those INJs especially INTJs, they actually end up shaming the INFP unfairly because the INFP is not giving them the attention that the INTJ for example feels entitled to and that is a problem. That’s not to say that like an ESTP can’t be entitled from wanting attention either, because ENFP superego can definitely come out of there and then the ESTP can definitely feel entitled to like an INFP, or even an ENTP in my case, to an INFPs attention, right? So, this is really where NFP, or NPs in general, actually end up holding a lot of power when it comes to extroverted sensors that they have, you know, friendship. Now, the extroverted sensors hold power towards the NPs because they have the ability to choose, they have the ability to desire a friendship or relationship, or a sexual intimacy with an NP, like INFPs for example. And they could leverage that freedom of choice. However, when it comes to attention, NPs, especially INFPs because of how interest based they are, and how sensitive they are, they really can leverage that attention and if they don’t like you, they’re not gonna give you any attention whatsoever. And this comes out in terms of like ghosting, for example. They will ghost people, they will be completely indifferent, they will ignore, pretend the person doesn’t even exist, right? It’s because, you’re not getting any of my attention, you’re not worth it to me to have any of any of my attention. It’s not like you even want me either, and it’s not like you’ve proven to me that you want me and you’re just going to shame me for me giving you attention, even though I don’t feel you actually deserve having my attention to begin with, so I’m just gonna teach you a lesson by ghosting you and by making sure that I have nothing to do with you. And I’m just going to basically ignore you. That is the main sign that an INFP does not like you. The main sign is, is that they’re just ignoring you, pretending you don’t exist, effectively ghosting you. You aren’t a real person to them. Now, that can come off, from an INFP that can come off like their super narcissistic, or even sociopathic, or really insanely selfish when they’re doing it, but reality, that’s not actually what’s happening they’re just avoiding conflict they don’t want to have a physical or overt confrontation. They want to keep the confrontation covert, and this is why they prefer to have this passive-aggressive approach when it comes to ghosting or ignoring people or telling people to… And in some cases like it’s all about hints, you know. But again, it’s all about them being ignoring and ghosting and pretending like you don’t exist, that’s the first sign. The next sign after that, I would have to say is when they start talking smack, or talking mess about you behind your back. A lot of people don’t realize INFPs do this, but it’s part of their treachery vice and INFPs and ENFPs do this as well, but they end up saying things that aren’t actually true or they have these little beliefs that are unverified by their Ti demon for example. And they Ti demon other people by saying actual untrue things to other people about a particular person that they don’t like and they slowly over time end up creating a narrative about somebody which causes other people to either abandon or no longer want or no longer be loyal to a particular person that they have a problem with because they want that person to be disempowered when it comes to the social situation. An INFP, in some cases, ends up feeling like they have no choice but to talk badly about someone behind their back ahead of time because their extroverted intuition is telling the INFP that this other person that they don’t like is a eventually going to publicly shame them so the INFP has to work hard by dropping little seeds with other people around them in a social situation to make it look like that person is not credible so that when that person attempts to shame the INFP, everybody around them, because of the rumor mill, because of the potential Ti demon lies, that the INFP is telling to these people about that person they don’t like that that person, when they finally shame the INFP publicly, they have no credibility and thus everyone around them doesn’t even believe them because the INFP has already muddied the waters or poisoned the lake, etc. And that’s what happens, it happens all the time. So if you hear rumors about yourself, look for the NFP in the room, chances are, or the INFP basically, because they’re likely coming from them more than anyone. And it’s so funny, like I have people who criticize me all the time and I’ll often end up having INFPs coming to me and it’s like oh your credibility this, your credibility that, and I’m like I don’t care about credibility, I only care about the facts. And then they actually take the time to actually listen to me and go to the source, per se, so the reverse is also true is my point. INFPs can be used by other people that don’t like you and that INFP, if they’re loyal to that person, will actually create the rumor mill on behalf of that other person as well. And that’s another sign that they don’t like you. Also, other than just straight up avoidance, passive-aggression, etc, creating rumors and destroying your credibility from behind the scenes, that’s usually the most tell-tale signs that an INFP doesn’t like you. But you know, when they’re in situations where you’re working with them or they’re forced to be around you, like you can expect that rumor mill thing is gonna happen because they are being forced against their will to not ghost you, they’re being forced against their will… they cannot pretend that you don’t exist because they are forced to work with you every single day so then they’re just gonna destroy your credibility. So, keep that in mind, that’s just how it works, how they leverage their attention. So first point, how they leverage their attention, not giving you attention versus the ghosting or pretending you don’t exist, and then obviously creating a rumor mill that destroys your credibility because they’re eventually afraid that the confrontation that you’re having with them will lead to them being publicly shamed by you so they’re going to destroy your credibility cause they can see it happening with their extroverted intuition and to prevent that outcome, because they are triple outcome focused, they will plant the seeds in other people to make sure that it doesn’t matter what you say, no one’s going to believe you to begin with. So, that’s how you can tell if an INFP doesn’t like you. So if you’d like a chance for your question to be answered on this channel, please post it on Quora and tag me or leave it as a comment below. If you want a guaranteed answer for your question, become an egohacker initiate at csjoseph.life/members and post your question as a comment in our initiate membership page where I’m answering all your questions during a private livestream each month. That’s known as the members q & a. Anyway folks, that being said, I’ll see you guys tonight.