cs joseph responds
Welcome to CS justice response. I’m your host chase here to answer your questions on any topic union analytical psychology, or the four sides of the mind, also known as four sides dynamics. Today’s question is, how can an ISTJ get a date during quarantine? And the source of today’s question is none other than my brother in law? Because, I mean, when you’re single and the most eligible bachelor in the state of Texas, then I guess that means you want some dating tips during this entire plague that’s going on since like, everything is closed. I mean, it’s not I can go to a bar.
So based on that, let’s, let’s talk about some of some strategies that an ISTJ could do to get a date. Now, typically, though, I see Jays have to follow a different strategy. Because if they don’t, they end up in situations where it’s like, okay, hey, I’m initiating with the wrong person, while ISTJ is really shouldn’t be initiating with anybody. It’s interesting.
For iCj men because ISTJ men find themselves in a situation where, you know, they’re, they’re under a lot of pressure from outside sources, sometimes, because ISTJ has often outsourced their thinking to others. So they end up accepting conventional, conventional wisdom, and it’s actually hurts them, especially in the dating world, because oftentimes, ISTJ men end up being taught that it’s their jobs to be initiating with women, you know, because that’s the proper thing to do, because they’re very affiliative focus on doing the right thing. But the reality situation is, is that’s not actually, that’s not actually always true. Because an ISTJ, in order to have a really good relationship with a woman, that woman needs to want an ISTJ, she has to desire him and he needs to be desirable, etc.
So in order for him to be desired, the woman would need to basically initiate with him in that particular situation, in order for there to have any chance of sexual compatibility whatsoever. And oftentimes, you know, in my coaching practice, when I’m coaching ISTJ men, and it’s there, they’re looking at getting a divorce. I’m like, Well, who are you with? And they’re like, Well, I’m with an ENFP. I’m like, okay, great.
So you’re with your polar opposite. Congratulations, you played yourself, you know, and it’s like, come on, what are you doing with your life? Why are you making decisions being with your polar opposite? Well, the thing is, is that they didn’t know any different. And because they’re affiliative, they’re being conditioned to think about dating or pickup artistry in a certain way, which is very unhealthy for ICE T J’s. So the strategy that I tell ISTJ is to utilize on a regular basis is a fishing technique, where they go fishing, and basically, you know, typically, if like a bar is open, I tell someone like my brother in law, for example, Hey, go to the bar, get yourself your favorite drink, maybe two and just set them at a table right next to a pool table and play pool by yourself.
Specifically to get better at pool if you like, pool then go for it. While he’s like well, I don’t like pool I like dark sunlight. Great. Go to a bar and learn how to play darts.
Like specifically go play darts and, and be really good at darts to the point where you could like maybe join a tournament and compete for money. Why wouldn’t you do that? Make it about the darts make it about having fun, even if you’re there by herself? Well, you know, I look like a loser if I’m there by yourself like, okay, te parent Yeah, sure, if you look like a loser, because you don’t want anyone to think less of you. But the thing is, is that you being there by yourself actually kind of shows strength and also makes it the most interesting person at the bar. And of course, you know, and I S E, women, specifically women that are compatible with you like STPs and NFJ’s specifically.
And ENFJ probably being you know, it’s a bronze pair, and then the ESTP is the golden pair and the ISTP is the silver pair, you’d have a really good chance at those women because you’re the most interesting guy there. And from their point of view, it’s like oh, he’s just playing darts he’s learning how to get darts. It’s about the darts. It’s not about him trying to get laid.
So then they’re like okay, well that’s what his interest in the situation is interest is all about the darts. You see what I’m saying? Because these women are very interest base are aware of what they have said thing versus what someone else gets out of something, but he’s very systematic. So he’s not really aware of that. So his system needs to be about the darts not necessarily about you know, getting pussy, etc.
So that’s an Oh, and by the way, I also tell him, you also have to have your own place your own car, your own job and be your own man and have your own castle. Because if you’re not producing more than you consume, no woman will be interested in you in any way. Luck. Leave, he’s already got those things handled.
And I’d recommend you ice Jays out there, make sure you have those things handled. Because if you have Failure to Launch syndrome, because you’re still with your parents, you’re a loser. And you probably shouldn’t ever consider dating, much less breeding, until you actually get that figured out. How about you grow up and get that handled, please.
But for all you other ISTJs, who have that handled out there? Awesome. Go get yourself a woman take on a woman, you know, just don’t have sex with her unless you’re willing to die for her. But guess what ISTJ is now dutiful and self sacrificing. They are typically in a lot of situations and can be self sacrificing, not always the case, they can actually be pretty selfish.
But some of them out there that really understand their duty, understand that have a sense of honor, they would be willing to take a bullet for the woman. And at that point, I’d be like, okay, yeah, if you’re willing to take a bullet for your woman, definitely have sex with her whenever you want. But it’s not here nor there. But let’s let’s go in a little bit deeper here.
So I tell a typical ISTJ okay, hey, go to you know, just go to the bar, play your darts. And eventually one of these STP or NFJ, women will just come up to you. And they’ll ask you, Hey, what are you doing? You know, that’s a great pickup line, Hey, what are you doing to an SI user? That’s a great pickup line. If you’re an NI user, asking si user, hey, what are you doing? It’s pretty awesome.
You know, when they do that. And then it just goes on from there. And you could tell they’re all about darts, or the fact that they became a gun owner recently, or he’s getting a new job or, or it’s going good, who knows, they just want to tell, they just want to be told stories, they like stories, si users tell stories really well. And so users want to hear them essentially.
So and it gives them an opportunity to talk about that. And, you know, it’s just, it’s just basic chemistry, it just goes from there. But the thing is, though, if an ISTJ is not positioned for greatness, if they’re not out there and available, they’re not going to have, they’re not going to give any woman the opportunity to initiate with them. And it’s the same kind of advice, I give an intp as well, if you’re not out there, then that’s just not going to go anywhere, and it’s not going to work out.
So because remember, it’s your job to be initiate double, you have to be able to be initiated with by women. That’s just how it works. This whole idea that men always need to initiate with women, that only works for 50% of the population, even then it only works 25% of the time, because oftentimes, you have an SI user initiating stupidly with another si user, which and it just blows up in your face afterwards. Because two si use is like having two canvases in the bedroom.
And it’s like, okay, well, there’s no painter, you know, it’s like everyone is just trying to be on the bottom for some reason. And there’s no one who can be on top in the bedroom. You think that’s going to go anywhere? And no, it’s not. So the point is, it gets a little bit more complicated in quarantine gets pretty complicated in quarantine.
So I was actually having a conversation with my wife about this recently. And Rogen tells me, Oh, yeah, you know, I just I just told my brother how he can get a date on quarantine, I told him to go get a book that he likes to read, and then go to like a Walmart or Target or lawn and garden section and sit in one of the comfortable long chairs, reading a book and just sit there. And who knows, some STP NFJ woman will walk in there and be like, hey, what do you do? And or, Hey, what are you reading? And there you go. I mean, he’s just making himself comfortable.
And that’s what ISTJ is, do they just make themselves comfortable. And they can make themselves comfortable, basically, just about anywhere. So boom, he’s, he’s comfortable. He’s reading a book.
And then he’s basically fishing, giving any STP NFJ woman an opportunity to say hi to him and to initiate with him at that moment, right. And then it’s just and then it just goes from there, essentially. But if they are the one if they initiate with an ISTJ, the ions the ISTJ doesn’t have to be afraid about well, I don’t know if I’m wanted enough because they have expert intuition inferior, which makes them afraid of not being desirable enough for others, especially women, all ISTJ men have this problem. But guys, you don’t have to worry about that.
And I parent exists, and I child exists. And these ni functions don’t care if you’re scared about whether or not you’re desirable or not, because to them, you are desirable, and they want you and they’re going to initiate with you whether you like it or not. So just get over yourself. Stop being so afraid, doesn’t benefit anyone.
And you know, like you’re just gonna be afraid like that, then them accusing you of being a pussy would actually be accurate. How about instead, you just ignore your fear and go put yourself out there anyway, because there’s always somebody some time always there’s like it’s unlimited possibilities. So get out of your freaking comfort zone and go at bars or open go and sit at the bar at the front of the bar by yourself. Be productive while you’re at the bar.
Don’t be a fool while you’re at the bar be productive while you’re at the bar. And that could be playing darts. I could be getting your pool skills going up but just don’t be Don’t be an ass. You know what I’m saying? Like it’s pretty it’s pretty obvious or if you have work to do, or you need to read a book.
Bring your tablet or your phone or a notepad or something and do some work while you’re there and maybe order some food, have a drink or whatever be serene, right? And eventually, because you’re alone, and you’re the most interesting man in the bar, because all the other men are being fools, and you’re the one being wise and responsible, that makes you stick out like a sore thumb, it makes you more desirable than the rest. So obviously those NIS II women, those STPs, and those NFJ’s are going to come up to you and introduce themselves to, obviously, and then hey, you at the end of the conversation, you have the opportunity to ask them, Hey, do you want to give me your number, and then you number close them. It’s like not that hard, guys like this is basic. But in quarantine, you gotta go to where the women are in quarantine, they’re in Walmart, they’re in target.
They’re in TJ Maxx, interestingly enough, as my wife pointed out to me recently, but just go find a nice comfy place to sit down and read or listen to something or just be productive. And you’re just sitting there trying to see you know, and see if you can end up getting attention. And a pragmatic STP is not going to care about how audit is that you’re just sitting there. And it’s like, wait a minute, it is odd that he’s just sitting there, I’m just going to ask him what’s going on? Because this is different, you know, or what is he reading? And why is he here, and then he can easily and then the ISTJ could be like, well, I got really bored at home.
And this is more interesting. And I liked this chair. So I decided to sit down in this chair and read a book. And it just shows you as an ISTJ, even though you’re affiliative, you got the guts to take some risks, which is very attractive to these women.
So like, why wouldn’t you do that? Anyway, so anyway, this is just one example. But you guys could utilize this example in different forms and come up with a strategy or, or, or way of doing things or system that you could fall when you’re going fishing for women. But the bottom line is, unless you’re willing to position yourself for greatness, you’re not gonna get anywhere with any of these women whatsoever. You have to make yourself available in order to be wanted, you have to make yourself Wantable you have to make yourself initiate the bowl so that others can initiate with you.
That’s literally how it works. Okay, because I’m telling you, the best pickup line out there for STPs NF j’s to use is Hey, what are you doing? Like it’s it’s the greatest thing in the world, especially when you have expert intuition inferior and you’re afraid of whether or not you’re desirable enough when the reality situation is, when you aspire, expert intuition inferior, you end up becoming the most desirable out of everybody. This is very typical for ISTJ is and iossef J’s, why wouldn’t you do this, and the fact that you were that you are going out of your way to not initiate with women and waiting for women to initiate with you. That means you will have great sexual compatibility, great sexual chemistry just right off the bat.
So why wouldn’t you do that? So anyway, if you’d like a chance that your question being answered on this channel, please post it on Quora and tag me or leave it as a comment below. If you want a guaranteed answer for your question, become a Silver member at CS joseph.ly. Forward slash members, and post your question on our private q&a Discord channel, where I’m answering all your questions during a private livestream each month. I believe the second Thursday of each month is our q&a night.
Please also make sure to like and subscribe to support the channel leave a comment below if you have any questions about ISTJ A’s. Anyway, folks, all that being said, I’ll see you guys tonight.