Golden Pairs and Octagram | CS Joseph Responds
Managing Golden Pairs | CS Joseph responds to the Acolyte question how do golden pairs work.
Welcome to the CS Joseph podcast. I’m your host, CS Joseph and doing the multi host thing and thank you for joining me as I am obviously preparing to rob a bank this afternoon while wearing a suit and tie. I don’t even know why I just, you know, kind of like got into the mood Apparently so. But yeah, anyway, no, it’s just really, effing cold.
Actually, it’s really cold and cold in the studio today. And I don’t have time to wait for the heats to be higher by any stretch of the imagination. I would just rather film and record and get things done. So I mean, hey, bring on the fingerless gloves and the beanie while wearing a suit and tie, although my jacket is over there, and it probably would have made a lot more sense actually wear the jacket.
Who knows? That being said, today’s question, a very fascinating question, a question I’ve been looking forward to answering for a while, which is how do golden pair relationships work? Yes, a very complicated and yet fascinating question. For those of you that are not aware, the golden pair is the absolute highest compatibility in terms of judgment, hashtag, emotional compatibility, as well as perception aka sexual compatibility. Among all the types on paper, technically, on paper. The only other type of relationship that probably gets close to what the golden pair does for people is the natural pair.
The Golden pair, also known as the affection relationship is definitely the relationship that solves the problem of a lack of joy in someone’s life. Whereas the national pair, for example, solves the problem based on a lack of acceptance in their life. That’s what the natural pair does. But the golden pair is definitely a lack of joy.
And that’s ultimately the purpose between that relationship compared to the national pair and I’m using a national pair as a form contrast. Because guess what, folks, we are now discussing season 14, part three right now in our premium lecturers at CS joseph.ly. Forward slash members, for the journeyman members. We also have season 14, part two, season 14 basically is where we talk strictly about sexual relationships.
And there are four parts to it. Part four is actually slowly being released publicly, like one episode a month on the YouTube channel and on the podcast, season 14, part one is available at CS joseph.ly, forward slash portal, and they discover XYZ specific type of membership sections. And season 14, part two, which is the pedagogue, also known as the companion relationship. And, and then part three is the natural pair, but part one is the golden pair, which is what we are discussing.
Now, if you’d want to watch the lecture associated with your type, just gotta see it’s just a.ly forward slash portal, find discovered and it could be like intp, or INFJ, whichever one is your type, and then just buy that one specific thing. It’s like 37 bucks one time fee. And then you can watch the season 14 Part One episode for your type, and basically the golden pair relationship for your type. I highly recommend you get into these, because they definitely provide additional background and additional nuance behind what it is I’m actually about to say here.
However, I would like to add that what I am going to say in this particular episode right now is not something that is actually covered in season 14, part one. So there’s still value to actually watching and listening to this episode. So like pay attention, because it’s a really, really big deal. So, the golden pair, you know, I have traditionally called them to the relationship of the highest highs and the lowest lows.
It is ultimately a very turbulent relationship. And both types involve while they have highest compatibility in terms of emotional compatibility and sexual compatibility on paper. And the reason why is something due is something known due to something known as cognitive synchronicity, cognitive synchronicity, which is basically just a fancy way of saying compatibility, who you know, cognitive asynchronicity is a fancy way of saying camaraderie who you know, so based on all the UI that is present, we can then therefore conclude that if you want to really understand the fundamentals of what the how the golden pair works, you probably might want to watch seasons five, and seasons 12 and they’re available here on the YouTube channel, just go to this channel, go to the playlist So look at season five, which is cognitive synchronicity, and season 12, which is social compatibility, just that you can kind of understand some of the nuance and the concepts that are actually a, you know, a precursor to this particular video, right? It might actually provide you with additional knowledge than what you had previously released enough understanding to really get everything that you can out of this particular episode. So highest highs and lowest lows.
And one of the reasons for that is depending on what your Okta gram is because Akram is not something that has been heavily discussed in season 14. But aka gram is basically a person’s natural expression of their nature, you know, you have your nature, but then life happens. And based on life, you end up having a certain cognitive development, which is basically where you have been within your mind. And then cognitive focus, which is basically where you’re taking your mind next, right.
And those things together, bring about a yin and yang equilibrium that represents a person’s Octo gram, and a person and as a result, there are four different total aka grams per one of the 16 types. The reason why it’s called the Dr. Gram, however, is because it’s based on the eight temple wheels, which we are discussing to Temple wills per month right now, within see is within season 18, which is also available to see as joseph.ly for slash members just become a journeyman member and you can access that at CS joseph.ly forward slash portal to be able to handle that. So So with all that being said, what makes this work is cognitive synchronous dance and cognitive synchronicity in like a nutshell is basically when, let’s say I’m an expert intuition hero, so my golden parachute have to have an introverted intuition here as well.
Like I want to be wanted as much as that they actually want to want me basically, where I have introverted taking parent, which means they would have extroverted thinking parent, and I’m all about what I think but they are also all about what I think and then they have Introverted Feeling, they’re all about how they feel I have Extraverted Feeling and I am all about how they feel right? So I’m gonna let what I what what I think and they’re all about how they feel. And it’s basically like this awesome trade off, etcetera. And I’m aware of what makes me comfortable, they’re constantly seeking to make me comfortable, there is no issue, period and a story. It’s just awesome that way.
And that’s ultimately what my golden pair does for me, which is the INTJ archetype right. But again, what people don’t understand about Golden pairs is that they are the highest highs and the lowest lows. And the reason for this is actually due to something known as cognitive origins. And again, cognitive Origins is something that we’re heavily going through in the there like our live lecture that we do once a month, it’s for season 18, the cognitive mechanics season.
And right now we’re actually discussing cognitive origins, at length at as much as we have done so already in the deadly sin living virtue Lecture Series, which we had eight of those recently, which are also available in the premium lectures area for the premium content. But cognitive origin is probably the most important vector when it comes to understanding the Type grid, as well as understanding the octo grid for Archigram. You can basically see, like, you know, how, you know, you can’t really have algebra without a concept of zero right, it is impossible to do any algebraic, conclusion or logic there have, or that form of mathematics without having a concept of zero. But when it comes to Union analytical psychology, the concept of zero is really the cognitive origin, the cognitive origin itself, and the cognitive origin is basically that which an individual seeks the most for their entire life.
So for me it satisfaction for an INTJ that’d be reverence also known as deep respect for an ESTP I am INFJ, that is connected this and intimacy for an INFP and ESTJ its power and authority for a ISTJ and ENFP. It’s justification or excuses, to be excused from things. So they’re looking for the most. And then obviously, discovery for the ESFJ, also known as exploration to be able to explore new things explore life.
That’s ESFJ and intp. Often, you know, I mean, think about it. Gene Roddenberry was a, an intp cares about discovery, and he wrote Star Trek, which is all about space exploration. Okay, obviously, it was like his dream that never was necessarily able to come true.
I mean, I guarantee you he very much wanted it to, et cetera. And then obviously, you have the ISTP and ENFJ, with what they are seeking out of life known as validation, right? So these are all the eight cognitive origins. And it was interesting about the golden pair when compared to the national pair. For example, the natural pair actually manages cognitive origins very well there.
There isn’t any competition for cognitive origins within the national pair, and as as byproducts of the national pair providing you You know, their lover with their own origin. Like, for example, like I’m my natural person ISFP and ISFP woman would share her sense of purpose with me, also her sense of discovery with me. And I’d be sharing my sense of satisfaction, as well as my sense of reverence. And, you know, we I would help her gain satisfaction and reverence she helps gain helped me gain purpose and discovery, etc, which actually ends up by doing this sharing or this exchange, it actually helps us improve ourselves.
And we’re able to reach those cognitive origins, not just for ourselves, but then give them to each other and as byproducts of giving our own origins to the other person within the context of the relationship, they actually gain their own origins in the pot and the process as a secondary energy exchange within the natural pair itself, that makes the natural pair truly unique, very special. Whereas the golden pair is actually pretty direct about it. There is no, there is no dance, there’s nothing informative about it. It’s actually super direct.
And, you know, like if I was an INTJ woman, for example, that INTJ is constantly, you know, on paper, and this is on paper, help me reach, reach a higher level of satisfaction as well as I’m helping her reach a higher level of reference, right? At least that’s how it’s supposed to work on paper. But when it comes to highest light, highest highs and lowest lows, that’s not necessarily always the case. And the reason why is because of the Arctic gram, the audiogram is the reason why because the octave gram when you actually look at it from a macro perspective, a very high level point of view from a nurturer will impact of one’s nature on any NTP, she’d be an INTJ and you’re looking at our natures being impacted by our aka Graham’s basically. And then I have a cognitive development I have a cognitive focus, she has a cognitive development, she has a calling to focus.
These things tend to actually further adjust how compatible we are within the relationship and this can lead to something that’s the highest highs and lowest lows. There is a solution to this and I’ll probably maybe just depends if I’m on the mood I might talk about this at the end of the episode we’ll see we’ll see how where I’m at with it. But the point is, is that like certain off the Grahams are more compatible with others now I remember saying a long time ago this is me issuing a retraction right here this will be the seventh or eighth retraction I’ve ever done. But basically I said that UD U F after Graham type should be with SD SF aka gram types.
And that’s not actually accurate anymore if you’re an atypical Aki RAM versus a typical Octa gram the compatibility actually changes depending on which of the eight sexual compatible relationships you’re actually because each individual relationship actually has its own OKT Graham parameters in terms of compatible Archigram and compatible nurturers right so that was way too high level of me to say or like just to say like in general that UD UF type should be with SDS F types and then also the opposite for the typical aka grams. We found out that that’s not actually accurate at all. It’s not so don’t believe me if you hear me saying that in previous episodes, the reality situation is is that has changed by that if you’d like to learn more about Dr. Graham, obviously you can become a member and we’re gonna have Dr.
Grams specific content coming out we do have one off the gram specific episode in cutting edge and there’s some sprinkles of it here and there, especially in season 18 Right now, but more aka gram content is coming. However, if you want to get involved the Octagon discussion, it is [email protected] forward slash ego hackers go to that link and then you can get on our Discord server. And then get into the discuss octagon channel, go to the pin messages so you can learn the basics of the octo gram is and then participate in the discussion there which is basically going every day because it’s one of the most active channels on the server when people are discussing Dr. Graham and human nurturer.
I highly highly highly recommend that you that you folks consider participate in the community we’re about to break 1200 members active members like they’re super active 24/7 Well moderated server, check it out. So anyway, so the anagram ends up having some changes and the reason why is like for example I am an unconscious developed unconscious focused type. So while my ego being an intp, it seeks satisfaction. My subconscious is actually very, very underdeveloped because I’m an unconscious developed unconscious focus the NTP my underdeveloped subconscious means I don’t crave satisfaction as much because my shadow which is also known as my unconscious is my INTJ side and my super ego which is my ESFP side, those sides of my mind are actually far more developed than my ISFJ and you can see that my INTJ side is developed, which is the UD aspect, and then the UF piece is where I am developing my super ego which honestly in the long run this is not going to be sustainable because As obviously my mind is not developed my ISFJ side very much and this could actually be the source of my midlife crisis.
I know that I outlined in season 19 The different life crises in terms of quarterlife crisis, midlife crisis, final life crisis, and I gave a typical expression of what those life crises do. But after understanding how the Okta Graham works, while the roadmap that I laid in season 19 is the basic roadmap in terms of what to expect in a midlife crisis versus a quarter life crisis. It’s actually really Archigram dependent because from an arthrogram point of view, those life crises could actually switch, you still have to go through each of the crises. It’s just which crisis are you facing, when that’s what really changes depending on what your Octa grab is and more on that later, we’ll we’ll be discussing that at length much later.
But at the end of the day, because I because my subconscious is underdeveloped. I don’t crave the cognitive origin of satisfaction as much as I actually crave the cognitive origin of reference, right. And this is something like my mother has pointed out to me, typically, one of the things that she does not like about me is and she has told me multiple times throughout my life is that she does not like how I handled disrespectful and how, like any perceived disrespectful slights towards me, I lash out, even to the point of violence. And yeah, that’s pretty accurate, because my INTJ side is so developed and my ESFP side is developing.
And both of them are looking for reference, the cognitive origin of reverence the cognitive origin of deep respect that I have to have that. Now, here’s the thing if I’m with an INTJ woman, for example, who is subconscious developed subconscious focused, that would like literally blow up in my face. Why? Because her ego, and her subconscious are both looking for reference and her shadow. Which is, which is, you know, it’s there.
It’s looking for satisfaction and the super egos like, yeah, WTF, mate, you know, I’m here down under nothing really is happening to me, whatever. I mean, other than stringent, you know, COVID laws, or rules, if they are laws, I don’t know. But, you know, they mentioned there is not much going on down under, you know, and so based on that, you know, with her super ego, she’s also looking for two helpings of reference. Now, in my previous model, where I said that UD U F type should be with SDS F types.
That’s not necessarily true. And in fact, it is not true in the context of the Golden pair. It is true, however, in the context of a natural pair, but it is not, it is not true in the context of a golden pair, it just is not. So this ends up causing a lot of problems.
Because basically, my soul or my persona is looking for two helpings of reverence, and one helping of satisfaction. However, this SDSS golden pair of woman that I’m with, is looking for two helpings of reverence, and one helping of satisfaction. So basically, both of us, our minds are looking for two helpings of reverence, and this creates an insane amount of conflict, because we’re literally competing for the same cognitive origin. And while and this is why oftentimes, you see a lot of golden pair, and people get it together, you know, they belong together, because it’s just it is the golden pair from a nature perspective, but their nurture is competing for the same cognitive origins within the context of relationship because you always have to be aware of what their top sides of their mind are doing, which is the ego and subconscious compared to the bottom side of the mind versus their shadow versus their super ego, and how each of these different like, you know, the northern hemisphere of their mind versus the southern hemisphere in mind, and which one which hemisphere is more active than the other? And that and that basically determines what they’re seeking out of life.
And if I’m going out of my way to seek a higher amount of reverence, that would mean I would have to be with a modest INTJ woman basically, because if I was that they vainglorious INTJ woman, which is you know subconscious focus, she’s looking for a lot of reference or ego is already looking for a lot of reference that is and her being you know, subconscious developed on top of that, which means she would be an egotistical INTJ which, like, you know, from an octagon perspective, that is my ex Andes, Octa gram she was SDS F, very subconscious developed, because she’s very, she’s an egotist. And I don’t mean this to be offensive to her at all. It’s just this is just reality. This is just how her nurture works, right? And then, and then also from a and then she’s subconscious focus, because she’s very vainglorious, a very vain person, which is not necessarily a bad thing either, right? I’m not I’m not like some people.
There’s negative and positive connotations, like living virtues can be a bad thing, right? As much as Shadow poles can be a bad thing right or as much as a deadly sins can actually be a good thing and I’ve explained that heavily on this channel, right. And these things help you interpret how the octo gram works according to the octa grid which we have yet to release, but it is coming. So, be on the lookout for that we’re going Adding adding the octave grid to Bucha. And I believe it will be a paid feature when it is out to help people understand their nurtures.
But yeah, like, but the point is, is that she is looking for two helpings of reverence up. No, I’m looking for two helping a reference. So it makes a lot of sense that we actually just couldn’t be together because we’re looking for the very same thing and competing for the very same thing out of life. And the thing is, is that when you’re looking at Octo gram like you’re only going to have one out of four Octo grams that are actually going to be compatible each other.
So even if you do get into a golden pair, you only have a one in four chance. Like and getting a golden parachute is extremely difficult for intuitive to do. But it’s very easy for sensors to do. And then but you still have to deal with the fact whether or not you’re a sensor or an intuitive with your golden pair, right.
This is why intuitives often end up with their natural pair more than than golden pairs and golden pairs is more common amongst concrete types of sensors. iNtuitives usually end up in naturals and concrete types usually end up in Golden pairs. But even if you do end up in your golden pair, you really only have a one out of four chance of having a compatible octagon. And even then that’s not entirely accurate because I’m sure there are some Okta grams more common than others, for example, you have atypicals, which are not as common and then you have typicals that are really common in terms of octave gram expressions of nurture, versus nature within the human mind.
So as a result of that, it really really skews the numbers. And I think that you know, so at best, at best, it’s 25%. But I think it’s probably way, way lower than 25% that you’re going to find a compatible Octa M, especially if you’re an atypical type like myself on UD UF. So that is a typical, and he’s SDSS.
So that is a typical, so based on these two, a typical octave gram of perspectives. Because, you know, we’re a typical in that way, in order for us to have even had a good relationship, I would have had to have been SDSS at the same time, or she would have had to have been UD us at the same time, in order to reduce the turbulence of the relationship. The problem is, though, is that again, the chances of us having the most compatible, aka Graham, was extremely low, it is extremely low, especially given that we’re both intuitive. And that’s like a context of a golden pair, okay, like we’re intuitives.
And it’s really hard for intuitives to get to gold pair because intuitives are so rare. This is why I do it is end up in national pairs the most and they’re actually most suited for natural pairs in my opinion over concrete types, because natural pair solves the problem of a lack of acceptance, whereas the golden pair solves a problem for the lack of joy. The thing is, is that sensors are accepted by society, whereas intuitives are not accepted by society typically. So intuitives have to deal with a lot less self acceptance.
So therefore intuitives are technically way more attracted to natural parents and golden parents to begin with, which is also a very fascinating concept if you think about it. So as a result, you know, moving moving, moving right along here, because of this octagon related turbulence within the context of a relationship, breakups are inevitable. This is this is why it is the highest highs and the lowest lows when it comes to Golden pairs is because of the octo gram problem, because of the lack of natural compatibility, basically, and the lack of availability within natural compatibility, especially if you’re an intuitive type, you have it even worse than the sensors. So anyway, it’s a it’s a it’s a serious, it’s a serious issue.
So based on that, breakups end up becoming very commonplace, the golden pair. So while it’s easy to get into golden pair, it’s actually extremely difficult to maintain one. And we’ve been talking about the opposite concept within season 14, part three relating to the national pair episodes that we’re doing in the members area right now. But this is something like you can see this episode is like a supplement to season 14, part one talking about Golden pairs, because this is not discussed within the context of golden pairs.
This is before we had the octo gram, you know, that was shot and filmed years ago, like before the octo gram, you know, came came about to help explain why it was the highest highs and the lowest lows. And this is the best explanation we have hence why I’m doing this video as an answer to an acolyte member, but also, as you know, to give you folks an opportunity to actually understand why this is happening. So almost every golden pair, like with the exception of maybe like maybe the 1% out there, the 5% is extremely low percentage where they actually do have a compatible Archigram they’ll be fine, right? But for everyone else, and a minimum of three out of four golden parents out there a minimum of that, and I believe it’s more than that, but let’s just for the sake of brevity, assume at a minimum of 75% of it’s probably closer to 87% or 93% Like it’s up there. Breakups are inevitable for the golden pair.
The Golden pair is all about breakups, but here’s the thing. Here’s the thing like Because the way that breakups work, if a golden pair is actually able to get get back together after a breakup, and you know, most most people out there, especially in the red pill community would tell you to never get back with somebody, you know, after breaking them up breaking up with them. In fact, most people would say that it’s generally wise to never get back with somebody after you’ve broken up with them. But I maintain that the golden pair is the exception to that rule, it is the only relationship that I think that is okay with maybe the natural pair as an option in terms of a post breakup situation.
But with a golden pair guaranteed. The reason why is because the golden pair, while it is the affection relationship is the relation that solves the lack of joy problem in one’s life. It is also known as the relationship of reconciliation, the golden pair is all about reconciliation. And if a couple can reconcile that couple would be together forever, basically.
So really, the trial of a golden pair, the tests of the Golden pair ends up becoming like, hey, you know, it’s like the test of the demon, almost, the demon functions end up testing each other. And if and that often becomes a turbulent battleground of the Titans about around the Titans. And then after the battleground titans from a cognitive reflection perspective, their relationship breaks apart. However, they just have that undeniable magnetism, to the point where both types, even the SE user, actually especially the extroverted sensor, really either ends up becoming nostalgic through their lower Si, or they end up becoming very needy from their Introverted Intuition perspective and being unable to let go the other person that usually starts in the extroverted sensor, this happens, and then that any user of the relationship is able to maintain that magnetism, they almost always have an opportunity to reconcile not necessarily say that they will reconcile, but they always have the opportunity to reconcile.
And when they do reconcile that relationship is basically solid, and they’ll never break up again. And that basically, is the story arc of the relationship of the Golden pair. It is the relationship of reconciliation. If you get in a golden pair, at least eight or nine out of 10 times you will have a breakup due to incompatible aka grand but then you’ll reconcile and then you’re together and then you’ll never break up again.
Basically, that’s that’s basically how the golden pair works. That is, that is how it works, right? So one of the reasons why this happens is because like regardless of your Okta gram, the golden pair is actually very sensitive to the Inferior functions aspiration. While the natural pair requires the Inferior function to be aspiring ahead of time before the relationship is there, the golden pair can get with somebody whose Inferior function is underdeveloped and actually help that person develop and actually start developing their Inferior function within the context of the relationship. However, eventually, the golden pair will have a natural covert contract within it to have an expectation of the other person taking the lead within their own aspiration.
And if that doesn’t happen, that’s also a can lead to a breakup. Why? Well, it’s because when you notice that happening in your golden pair partner, what you end up doing subconsciously, or even unconsciously, to a point, you start introducing insecurity, to see if they can handle it, you start introducing insecurities in the context of the relationship to see if their Inferior function can aspire. So this is like the test of the inferior I know within the national pair have been talking about the test the critical test the inferior test to the parent. But this is ultimately the test of the inferior where you are actually using your Inferior function to test the other person’s Inferior function by introducing insecurity to it to see if they can handle it.
And if they can, great and that’s ultimately what leads to the reconciliation within the relationship to keep it together. If they can’t, that is basically a signal as to what led to the breakup in the first place. You see what I’m saying folks? Like? So in general, this is how the golden pair mechanically works. From a neutral perspective when you consider the Aqua gram and how the octa gram actually impacts the golden pear relationship to begin with.
So anyway, folks, thanks for watching and listening to this particular episode. I’ll see you guys in the next one.