ESTJ & INFP? Maybe if you’ve got something to teach other…| Sexual Compatibility | CS Joseph
ESTJ & INFP? Maybe if you’ve got something to teach other…| Sexual Compatibility | CS Joseph
00:00 Hey what’s up ego hackers. Welcome to the CS Joseph podcast. This is season 14, part four, episode two. And basically it’s canon ESTJ and an INFP have a great sexual relationship together.
And basically we’re we’re talking about the concept of colloquial duality, as opposed to true duality. True duality is starting this month and season 14 Part two. We also are at part three and we also have season 14 Part Two, both of these will be available in the premium section for premium lectures in the members area for journeyman members. And season 14 part one, which is focusing on Golden parents, also known as the affection relationship is available among the Discover lectures, which is at CS joseph.ly.
Forward slash portal for those of you that care. That being said, let’s just get right down to the content. So, if you remember in the previous episode, for season 14, part four, we talked about colloquial duality versus what true duality was. And it is a concept that originally comes from Socionics is the source of the duality related theory.
And, according to Socionics duality is the absolute best relationship, romantic relationship that anyone could potentially have. And if you actually spend some time going back to that video and actually read the comments for that video, you can see that the premise that I put forward in that video, the fact that people in general do not know the difference between colloquial duality versus true duality, true duality being the actual definition of duality, as put forward by Socionics and colloquial duality, which is what everyone thinks that Socionics is trying to say about duals. But the thing is, though, is that the colloquial duality is ultimately false, it is completely false. However, it’s such a regularly accepted perspective and a regularly accepted point of view on the internet, because most people are completely unaware of the fact that Socionics has a completely different lettering system when it comes to lettering, the 16 types, more specifically, the introverted versus the extroverted types.
So as a result of that distinction, and most people don’t really know about that, they assume that true duality, like for example, this particular episode is about ESP, j’s and INFJs. They assume that that’s what true duality is. But no, it’s the colloquial version. It’s the generally accepted version.
And it’s not actually anything based on truth, etc. So that kind of sucks, right? It sucks overall, that there’s this confusion out there. And true duality, according to Socionics is what were called the natural pairs also known as bronze Paris, which we have an amazing lecture series coming out in CS joseph.ly. Forward slash members, aka the journeyman membership area.
At the end of this month, I believe the first episode should be dropping hopefully this Friday, and the one the following week as well. It’s going to be awesome. The first episode is going to be the ES TJ and INFJ relationship. The second episode will be the ESTP and the INFP relationship.
So yeah, all of a sudden, inf peas are not the final episode in the series, which is a little different than what we’ve typically done. And fish. And fair enough. The INFP is also the first type that we’re talking about within season 14, part four.
So yeah, season 14, it’s the relationship season, we got part one, which is about golden hair slash affection, part two, which is about the pedagogue types, also known as the companion relationships, part three, which is about the bronze bear, also known as natural relationships, and part four, where we’re talking about colloquial duality, which is basically what would happen if you got into a relationship with your exact polar opposite, right? As we utilize this content to further dispel the BS lie out there. It’s like, yeah, opposites Do not attract. Actually, they don’t. And anytime you ever say that, you’re kind of like, don’t know what you’re talking about in turn.
There’s a relationship. It’s more of thinking about it. Like when you’re cleaning up a carpet likes dissolve likes, that’s kind of that’s kind of the argument that I would make as a result. So anyway, this season is about colloquial duality.
This is we’re gonna be discussing the wrong way. And if you want to know what the right way is, in terms of duality, you’ll have to become a member to find out. So the wrong way, what is the wrong way, the wrong way that you know most people think is what Socionics is actually talking about. And honestly, including myself, I was a, I was a victim of this concept myself, I, that really sucked.
Being a victim of it myself, I really just, or maybe me making Socionics a victim of myself, I guess, depending on how you say it. I too assumed that, for example, an ES tj plus INFP relationship actually was a duality relationship, according to Socionics. But no, that’s not true. Completely wrong.
And again, like I said, in the previous episode, I apologize to the world Socionics society and the Socionics people out there who are actually doing it correctly, not colloquially. And, yeah, I totally understand your guys’s position on me before. And that was basically their primary concern about what it was I was saying. They also, of course, don’t like that I use the traditional MBTI lettering system or not their lettering system, because it’s technically accurate and superior in every way.
And honestly, I agree with that. But it doesn’t make for good SEO. So that’s why we stick to using the MBTI. The MBTI lettering system in terms of describing 16 personalities, because it’s very doable.
I mean, hell, even Central Intelligence Agency here in the United States, utilizes the MBTI as a way to profile people that work for them and potentially people that they’re targeting. Who knows. So, regardless, that’s, that’s why we’re doing this. But really now, because, you know, seven minute introduction, but really now can an ES TJ and an INFP, make it together within a relationship.
This is one of the more interesting things before because to claim whether or not these relationships actually happen or don’t happen, they do happen. They do happen, they happen a lot more often than people actually think. In fact, one of the colloquial duels that I have experienced that happens a time in my life is actually E and TJ and ISFP. And that’s going to be a very fascinating episode when we get to it.
But like, that’s, it’s an extremely common thing to see those two types getting together on a regular basis. And it’s just, it’s just really, really fascinating to me how that happens. But how do colloquial duels actually end up together? Like, what ends up happening? You know, how is the fact that we’re observing polar opposites here, competing for the same exact cognitive origin? Right? They’re competing for cognitive origin? They’re basically competing for everything with their ego. And how is it these people, as polar opposites even end up together to begin with, right? And, honestly, the answer is really, it’s human nurture.
Human nurture is what’s actually dictating the situation here. It’s not nature. And it’s also because of the natural impact from multiple sources. Some of those sources could be like your nuclear family.
The most common source in my opinion, this is an opinion is actually church, a secondary source would be anything that’s like community related, or maybe if you’re in a cult, for example, like I was when I grew up, you know, but or some kind of organized religion or heavily maintained belief system. But at the end of the day, it’s these external factors outside of a person’s nature that is impacting their nurture, and thus causing them to make these horrible relationship decisions in terms of like, selecting a partner to share their sexuality with or even build a family with. It’s, it’s an absolute nightmare. And I do not recommend this relationship.
But that’s not what this lecture is about. I’ve been very clear since the beginning that this is not a very good relationship to be in when it comes to sexuality, but the why and how does that happen, Mr. CSJ? Well, 09:38 the thing is, though, is that like, here’s another here’s another interesting concept that causes duality, colloquial duality relationships, arranged marriage. We haven’t really talked a lot about arranged marriage but arranged marriage has a really, really bad Nergal psychological component to it that most people don’t realize.
Now granted, you I’m not exactly against arranged marriage, there is an argument for arranged marriage. But the thing is, though, is that I’m expert intuition hero. So I’m a little bit biased in terms of like not being for arranged marriage, because I like people being given the choice because I’m an expert intuition here, I’m all about giving people options. I’m all about people’s freedom, I’m all about people having freedom of choice, right? That’s what I’m all about.
I’m all about my freedom of choice. So arranged marriage can actually end up, you know, flying in the face of that. So, obviously, it’s probably like, not the biggest investment, you know, for me or anyone else, per se. But arranged marriage ends up often creating colloquial dual pairs and relationships.
And this has been a similar issue. It’s because most times matchmakers who would typically set that that, you know, two sets of parents or families would hire to look into their children and whatnot. It’s those matchmakers who would actually rely on the old adage of opposites attract and whatnot. They’d also rely on the Zodiac they’d also rely on this on absolute bullshit resources.
In some cases, in the 19 hundred’s, they actually relied on Freudian ism, which is ridiculous to me. And I’m just like, why can’t we just use union analytical psychology when it comes to considering arranged marriage, right? Arranged marriage might actually be there might actually be something to it. If the people that were being presented to one another, by the matchmakers were being presented by their affection relationship, or the natural, which is like the golden pair, versus, you know, true duality, which is the natural relationship, those relationships Sure, I could potentially get behind arranged marriage within that context. But given the fact that, you know, matchmakers are usually out of their minds, don’t know what they’re talking about, and completely under educated with this sort of thing, and they make tons of money doing the service for people, but at the end of the day, they don’t know what the hell they’re talking about.
This is one of the reasons why eventually, like Bucha, as an application is going to have dating features so that you know, Mr. sews Joseph, it’s really nice to hear that you’re going to be, you know, the world’s matchmaker, you know, with your awesome AI and algorithmic system that you’re going to be building consistently. That sounds fantastic. Okay.
Yeah. Yeah, it’s coming, folks. It’s going to be here, you’re gonna be able to live your life by and safely, it’s gonna be a great match matchmaker. But guess what, ultimately, at the end of the day, the decision is still yours, right? So let’s imagine you were like in India and whatnot, and you were having an arranged marriage and your parents paid for matchmaker, someone else’s parents paid for a matchmaker.
And when that happened, it’s like, all of a sudden, they’re like, Okay, yeah, hear me, my daughter, my son is an ES TJ and an INFP. Oh, crap, it’s happened. But here’s the thing. These two people are usually virgins, right? They’re usually virgins.
And that’s the thing. They don’t have any other sexual experiences anyone else. And because they’re too introverted sensors, they lacked extroverted sensing to see what other people are doing. And they also lacked the Introverted intuition to really even want something else.
So I like the NI critic of the INFP is really going to get them in you arsenal and I trickster of the ESC j is going to get them anywhere. So this relationship oftentimes can work sexually, even though it’s completely wrong. Because if they have no previous sexual experience whatsoever, and they’re not really interested in exploring additional sexual experiences, it’s likely that they’re just going to end up together and stay together for a long time. And they wouldn’t really have to deal with the sexual incompatibilities of their relationship as much as they would have to deal with the, with the emotional incompatibilities, and the emotional incompatibilities of this particular relationship is absolutely far worse.
What I’ve noticed in my travels is that when it comes to colloquial duality, people who are get with their opposites, the introverted sensors have a much easier time getting along with one another, than the extroverted sensors do from a sexual perspective. But that’s only if the edge rooted sensors do not both of them are virgins when at the beginning, and do not have a sexual history or sexual experience with which they can draw upon or compare one. This is one of the reasons why women should not have many body counts because men understand that don’t wait due to males needs for sexual validation. According to chapter 17, and Matthew has these books.
Get the guy, woman you should read that especially if you’re a masculine woman. But the point is due to the standard male need for sexual validation having to compete with the other men that a woman has slept with And she remembers all those sexual encounters in her head, and she’s constantly comparing you to those people. That’s just a lot of emotional baggage that men don’t need. And this is why women’s value is reduced, after they have more sexual partners because of the emotional connections they have.
And then I don’t care if they’re an x ray sensor, I don’t care how much they destroy the memory totems and all the reminders of those previous men they’ve had in their life. The reality of situation is men just know that instinctually instinctively that women just can’t let go, because women are not built to let go in that regard. You know, so as a result, it ends up becoming a huge problem. So si use or an SI user relationships actually work under that context, because the context of them both being version that is, so just be aware of that.
Just be aware of those changes or those differences. Time to have a bit of a smoke here. So yeah. So let’s let’s actually talk about like, what actually happens in this relationship after they they’re like committed, and they’re married, and they think they’re like doing something good.
Maybe they’re doing something for the family. Maybe they’re like, oh, it’s we’re doing the right things are going along with the matchmaker because we’re too affiliative types, right? Maybe that’s exactly what’s gonna you know, maybe that’s what’s going on here. 16:32 Which, you know, is a pretty big shame. Why would we be okay with that? Right? So let’s avoid that, you know, let’s avoid this relationship entirely.
Trust me. So let’s start with the first thing cognitive origin, what is the cognitive origin of ESP, j’s and INFJs? What is it that they are seeking the most remember folks that colloquial duals all have the same cognitive origin. And that right here is at the very root of the problem with these two types actually being in a sexual relationship. Let me see if I can pull this out of the sun.
There we go. That’s much better. 17:16 Much better. Yeah, that ends up becoming like a huge problem is because they’re it’s like, hey, you know, we have the same cognitive origin, then their cognitive origin is authority and power.
INFP is an ES TJ is out of all the 16 types seek out authority. And then if they’re in a relationship, they’re basically power hungry, you know, a relationship or not, and es TJ and an INFP. They’re just power hungry people. The reason why is because they have feelings of powerlessness all the time.
And if they feel powerless, they end up getting slothful, they end up giving up on life. And it really comes down to how much power they actually have. But in a relationship, especially from like the red pill perspective, for one person’s sexual strategy, you know, to work in a relationship, the other person has to ultimately surrender. So which means that one out of these two people end up having to surrender their power and authority to the other, somebody in the relationship has to be dominant.
And according to an essay that my father wrote, for his college paper at one point in time, someone’s always got to be on top. Which is true, someone always has to be on top when it comes to being in a relationship, right? So surrender and surrendering power and surrendering authority within the context of a relationship is extremely hard to do for any ISTJ or an INFP. Regardless of which gender they are, if they are the woman or the man in the relationship. They have to give up power, which is going to feed their further feelings of powerlessness.
And if they have a sexual history, that’s going to get even worse, because they’re likely to cheat at that point, doesn’t matter if they’re a man or a woman, they’re likely going to cheat, it’s especially likely that they’re going to cheat if they’re a woman, though, especially likely. And even especially likely beyond that, if it’s an INFP. Woman, because then you have to deal with their treachery, their treachery vise, which can be a huge problem as well. So watch out for that.
Seriously, seriously, watch out for that, that could be a huge problem. And a lot of people aren’t even aware of that risk when it comes to relationships. Because here’s the thing. These two types have the exact same cognitive functions in their ego.
It’s extroverted thinking on axis with its rooted feeling. Its expert intuition on axis with Introverted Sensing. When you have people with the same exact functions in a relationship, they’re literally in a state of competition with each other at all times. They end up competing for the same thing.
It’s like so you have the ES TJ and the INFP. Now the INFP is Have Introverted Sensing optimistic whereas the ESC J has Introverted Sensing pessimistic, the extroverted sensing optimistic person, the INFP will always put their comfort above the ES TJ. So, the ES TJ will be forced to take a secondary role within the relationship to the dominant role of Introverted Sensing. So, the comfort level of the INFP is the one who ends up dominating the relationship, which could put the ESC J in a position of being uncomfortable, you think that’s going to work, or here’s the other thing, extrovert intuition child is optimistic and will always put its need to be desirable over that the INFP.
And the INFP will always have to compete with and take second place of, well, they’re all about being wanted, and people are inviting them more often, they’re always going to end up having a problem with that. Every time, like literally every time, they will always have a problem with that. And you know, the INFP will end up getting envious or potentially jealous over the fact that people want the ES TJ more often than them, you know, but then the ES TJ will just throw it back in their face and just be like, well, you’re always putting your comfort above me. So at least I get this and you get that right.
So it ends up having to be a trade it just for the sake of facilitating the relationship to begin with, right? Just for that purpose. But do you think that’s actually going to go anywhere, or here’s another thing, extra thinking in theory versus extroverted thinking here, Inferior functions always, always take precedence above everything. So the INFP will always put their reputation above the reputation of their es TJ partner, always, just as much as the ES TJ will always put their principles and their morals and how they feel about their own internal decision making, always above the INFP, they’ll always do that. And that too, will just be a big problem, a bigger problem, seriously, a bigger problem.
They’re competing for the same things. You know, sometimes that first in the beating the relationship, they realize they can share comfort, they can share reputation. But at the end of the day, this is a sexual relationship, they’re looking for the other partner to fulfill that aspect of their relationship. And their other partner isn’t because their other partner is trying to get it from them.
So they end up just draining each other constantly. And this is like this ends up creating a relationship where they don’t even have any sexual contact whatsoever, they don’t even want sexual contact from each other, because the other person eventually will just gross them out. And this is like the kind of relationship you hear about when the only time that they actually ever have sex is in an attempt to have a child. Other than that, they will never never get there.
And if the relationship stays together, it’s only able to stay together because they’re outsourcing sexuality to other people that are not even in their marriage. That’s it. You know, and then on the emotional side, they’re completely emotionally bereft, you have the FY inferior of the ES TJ versus the FY here of the INFP. And at that point, they start to out selfish each other, they go out of their way to out selfish each other.
And when that happens, you have two extremely slothful people. I have had the tragedy of witnessing what the home would look like between these two types. It is the dirtiest environment you’ve ever seen. No one is cleaning anything, no one is taking care of anything.
There could literally be fecal matter all the place bugs everywhere, no one’s lifting a finger to do anything. Why? Because the other person isn’t doing anything. And their shadows are just mirroring each other. And you know, like you have ENFJ shadow versus ISTP shadow, and they just hate each other.
And they’re too proud to do it. Because it’s like, well, I’m not going to invest any more in this relationship until I see you investing, but the other person within the relationship already has that point of view to begin with. So then it just ends up becoming an endless downward spiral. Which sucks, which sucks entirely.
It’s absolute hell on each other. And then it’s also absolute hell on the children that they may have as well God forbid that they have children. And then if they have an extroverted feeler child, well, that child is the FE for the family. And that child is going to be really, really like like from a natural standpoint, that child if they’re the FE user, they’re going to be forced to develop the side of the mind that uses Extraverted Feeling the most like they will be forced into it hardcore, right? Same thing goes if there’s a child that they have that has Introverted intuition, that child is going to be like always constantly making choices, always being given choices all the time, and ultimately will rule their parents life ultimately it because both parents are like, Well, what do you want? What do you want, which is very dangerous to give to a child constantly.
Because that child is going to grow up thinking like, hey, you know, I can get anything I want whenever I want, because my parents always give it to me. And that’s what life is really about. No, no, it’s extremely unhealthy. This is why ultimately, these relationships shouldn’t really be allowed to exist.
But they do exist because of human ignorance. Because of the affiliative being the buffer against survival of the fittest, the affiliative church, saying like, you know, you can’t have sex before you’re married, or the church saying like, you know, pressuring people, you know, get married, get married, get married early. You know, that’s why people mature to get married early, because they’re not allowed to have sex until they’re married anyway, which is a bullshit teaching. It’s not even biblical.
People think it’s biblical because of mistranslation, and biblical interpolation, but that’s not correct. Especially since the Old Testament does not exactly line up with the old, the New Testament does not exactly line up with the Old Testament. When it comes to understanding how sexuality actually works. There’s no concept to it.
So that ends up becoming a huge problem. A very huge problem. A lot of people just are completely unaware of this phenomenon. Stop doing it.
You’re making everybody else suffer, including yourself. You know, he is TJs. They love being stoic. There’s nothing stoic about this relationship.
INFP is like to look good in front of the people and be philosophical looking and intelligent looking, oh, they’re such a good person because they’re staying in their marriage. No, they are just becoming a burden to themselves, a burden their partner and a burden to every other person in their life. They are literally causing suffering to themselves and other people by staying in this relationship, they really need to stop. 26:56 But you know, the best thing to do is prevent the relationship from occurring in the first place, right? But hey, if you are in a colloquial duel, guess what you need to do, you need to have external sexual relationships.
And emotionally, this is a situation where I recommend both partners actually have affairs. It’s one of the very few times you will say that I’m totally cool with having affairs. This is it. The thing is, make sure you have your affairs, your sexual affairs, your emotional affairs, you do it with permission.
That’s the thing. That’s the key, you got to do it with permission. If you’re in a committed relationship with your colloquial duel, make sure you do it for permission. So extroverted thinking it’s like, hey, you know, my reputation above yours.
Introverted Sensing is like, hey, my comfort above yours. Expert intuition is like, hey, my desirability above yours. Introverted feeling is like what I value and how I make decisions above yours. That’s on a relationship.
That is completely not a relationship. And it’s so sad for me to like to watch the INFP like constantly using their si child trying to share what they did for the day with the ES TJ and the ES TJ just doesn’t care that extroverted sensing credits just like, Man, I don’t care. I only care about what I did today. I don’t care what you did today.
The house is not fire on fire. So the dishes are done. So great. That’s all I care about.
I’m gonna go, I’m gonna do some iRacing while you’re, whatever it is, you’re doing, oh, you’re just playing on your phone as usual. Who cares? There’s like, like, the only, like, there’s only like love and labels and love and word, but there is no love. Indeed, when it comes to this relationship guys. It is entirely toxic.
I mean, yeah, other toxic relationships, like the conflict type. I mean, that’s like, that’s what that conflict relationship is like the relationship that leads with violence. But here’s the thing, the colloquial dual, this kind of relationship where polar opposites types are together, violence won’t be there initially, with this high level of camaraderie, but violence will become the standard eventually. And that violence will be you know, towards the people closest to their life, and we pointed towards their partner, or it will ultimately end up in suicide.
Which is statistically likely going to be the man of the relationship, committing suicide. You know, while the woman gets all of the assets gets basically everything. If she doesn’t initiate that divorce by the time she hits development phase, but she’s likely to anyway, and then she ends up getting the take half of the assets at a minimum on top of alimony on top of child support. And the man just basically becomes a slave for the rest of his life.
This is why I tell men don’t get married. Really don’t get married. It’s not worth it. So huge problem.
I mean, seriously, how could you? How could you be In a relationship like that, camaraderie, which is what colloquial duels are based on camaraderie only has really one value and that is to teach each other and for personal growth, it is the master and apprentice relationship. Now I understand that, you know, sometimes colloquial duels can get together based on having that teacher’s pet relationship. And it’s like not it’s like the student having a sexual relationship with the professor. Okay.
Yeah, sure. And that’s basically the overall theme of what this relationship is, especially among ESC Jays and inf peas. Because those are the two professorial types as part of the mind temple, right? So yeah, I could see how that would happen. And how, like, there’s some natural attraction there, based on the fact that this person has a lot of power, and I want to be powerful like them.
So I’m gonna have a sexual relationship with them, so that their ability to gain power and authority in their life rubs off on me, that is one way that this camaraderie based relationship can start based on that initial attraction, but it’s very short lived. And it should never be anything beyond a fling seriously. Never is not something to build a family on. And it’s not, you know, and women within colloquial and women within colloquial duels, they’re more open to having camaraderie sexual relationships than men are, because men actually have an intrinsic need for compatibility.
Whereas women have an intrinsic need for camaraderie, right? Because, you know, women’s friends, you know, when they’re having friends who are women, they prefer those friends to have camaraderie instead of compatibility. And women only usually save compatibility for their relationship with their dad, if that happens, their relationship with their husband, or their relationship with their sons, but they don’t really have compatible relationships with any other person in their life. Maybe a couple of women here and there, but that might be one out of five women that are their friends, the other four out of five are all camaraderie based. And it’s because women are more pragmatic when they get together, man, it’s the opposite.
Men want compatibility all the time, because men don’t really have a source of unconditional love in their life. Whereas women do have sources of unconditional love in their life as a result of masculine idealism based in men. Right. So that’s the issue.
That’s what ends up happening. Right? So camaraderie, it’s very short lived, you know, it’s like, okay, yeah, I actually was able to learn from you and get an understanding how to gain more power and authority. My life gave my cognitive origin, because you had your cognitive origin. But let’s not make a family out of this.
Yeah, definitely don’t, because they’re just constantly competing. I mean, you know, here’s the thing, like the Nemesis function, it’s just even worse, you know, the INFP is like, so worried about not being caring enough, which can sometimes hit the F fi inferior, but it’s usually not good enough, because they’re expecting the F fi inferior to care more, instead of being carried towards the SI inferior, which is alienates the ES TJ. And then the ES TJ is worried about what they know as to whether or not what they know is actually accurate, or intelligent to begin with. So they put a lot of stress on the INFP, to research and to actually, like, help them verify what they know.
But the INFP just ends up getting super stressed out and getting very afraid that the information that they will provide is not good enough. And then they’re at risk of having their power and authority being taken away anyway. That would suck, that would suck a lot. Suck a lot for the INFP.
You see, just the Nemesis functions are extremely dangerous, you know, and then and then their critic functions, do you think ni critic is actually going to be able to satisfy any child? It’s not going to happen? Do you think si child is actually going to be able to satisfy expert sensing critic and vice versa, it’s not going to happen. They can’t, you know, it’s like, it’s like expecting, you know, to have a close relationship between a grandmother grandfather with a grandchild. It just doesn’t happen, folks. So that’s why this relationship is ultimately toxic, and should be completely avoided at all times and at all costs.
Seriously, like, stay away from it, stay away from this relationship. I don’t recommend it. I absolutely do not recommend it. And eventually, like because they’re competing for power and authority, eventually, they will start taking away the other person’s power and authority.
And that’s when the violence starts coming in, when they realize that the other person is not helping them gain power and authority which they both intrinsically need because that is their cognitive origin. Psychologically speaking, the relationship ultimately decay into violence, even physical violence. That’s a huge problem. Like I said, if they really care about keeping their relationship together, they need to outsource their sexuality and they need to outsource their Emotions was somebody else.
But then again, that’s probably going to cause the relationship to ultimately break down and lead to divorce anyway. Because there’s, they’re realizing that the grass is actually greener somewhere else. And let me tell you, folks, almost in every single case, the grass is definitely greener, when you are in this relationship. Now, I challenge you, folks, if you’re in the audience, and you have this relationship, I am so sorry.
But if you have children, and you want to actually keep your family together, you guys need to have a conversation and talk about giving each other permission to have sexual and emotional affairs with other people outside your relationship, you need to basically agree to having an open relationship, obviously put limitations on resource sharing, and having children with those other people, and potentially welcome those other people as members of your family. But that’s really the only way to save the relationship. Otherwise, you’re at risk of just ending up giving up anyway. So that would like you know, kind of suck at suck a lot.
So yeah. It’s just, it’s just really not worth it. This relationship is not worth it in any way, shape, or form. You know.
36:25 And it’s so funny too, because this relationship ends up like their si functions, they think that they can endure one another, and they really actually end up believing that the other person will change. And then they’re all affiliative trying to do the right thing. So they’re not judged externally by people at church or people in their code, or people in their community or people in their family. So they try to stick it together because they don’t want to deal with the loss of regard the loss of respect from other people.
So it just ends up keeping the toxicity and the abuse going within the relationship, which is just entirely stupid. Because none of these types are actually willing to be honest with themselves. And that’s why you often see ESC J’s an INFP is in this situation. For decades, I actually had a friend that I went to church with same problem.
She is the ISTJ. And she married the INFP, son of our pastor, and they were together for many years had multiple children, which is ridiculous, entirely ridiculous. I mean, he didn’t even know that his first child wasn’t even his you know, and that really sucks. really sucks too.
It sucks for sucks for their child, it sucks for them, like no one actually knows about it. Maybe they do by now, hopefully. But it was just a horrible situation. And then when he also would figure out, you know, alpha, an alpha seed versus beta need, it can also like, you know, due to hypergamy, and due to the male sexual strategy, that can actually make things even worse.
So it just ends up snowballing into this uncontrollable avalanche in life which will destroy everyone’s life, especially with Western marriage laws. And how Western society is when it comes to things like marriage. It’s just not going to work out. It’s not really gonna work out at all.
So stop while you’re behind before you get behind her as my father would say, like this is definitely a situation you want to avoid. So anyway, folks, I think I’ve covered this relationship pretty well. Thanks for watching and listening, and I’ll see you guys in the next episode.