ENTPs Can Use ESFPs to Build This System | CS Joseph Responds
ENTPs Can Use ESFPs to Build This System. CS Joseph responds to the Acolyte question how can an ENTP get the most out of an ESFP friendship to better themselves.
Welcome to the CS Joseph podcast. I’m your host, CS Joseph. And we’re doing more accurate questions because I have a crap ton of them to get through. And we’re just going to be blazing through as many as we can to get us back to our daily posting of what we’ve been doing on YouTube, and also got a little bit more than that got season 14, part four, as well as season 24 that we’re going to be presenting here on the YouTube channel as well.
So more to come. And thank you all for being patient with me, it has been a very fascinating, interesting situation from the beginning of the year. So today’s question is how can an intp get the most out of an ESFP friendship to better one’s self. And this is known as a super ego relationship, also one of the eight sexually compatible relationships, which is also known as the challenge relationship, or the refinement relationship.
And basically, what these two types do to one another is refine each other and improve each other throughout. And this applies to all of the super ego relationships. So for example, if you are an INFJ, this would be like them doing that with an ISTJ, for example. Or if it was an ENFP that would be like within ESTP, ENFP, friendship, et cetera.
But this is basically a friendship but what kind of friendship actually matters is this between two women is this between two men is this between a man and a woman, all these different kinds of relationships actually fundamentally change the dynamics of what’s happening within the relationship, if it is to men than it is a shoulder to shoulder relationship and where and you know how it goes, you know, men do where women talk. If it’s a woman to woman relationship, it’s it is still shoulder to shoulder but with the outcome of maybe about discussing things than it is actually about doing things. Because from their perspective, the more women they have, the more likely they are able to reach a consensus, or at least the women like to clump up together in groups and have their stitch and bitch sessions basically. That’s that’s ultimately what happens, you know, but men however, if this or if this is a male friendship, it’s all focused on doing something men don’t really come together unless they’re doing something.
So like, for example, last time I hang out, hang out with my friends. I went trap shooting with them it was to go ultimately to shooting and yeah, we talked about a few things here and there. But ultimately it is shooting or if we’re at the cigar lounge talking about things it’s because we’re there to smoke cigars and maybe drink well Hakan old fashions. And in the Talking is a secondary thing, whereas with women talking is a primary thing, versus doing is a secondary thing.
So stitch and bitch the bitch part is actually the primary thing, whereas the stiff part is the secondary thing. The point is, is that regardless of which of these situations, the super ego relationship actually exists to refine the other person. These types are not afraid to criticize each other, and they subject each other with their critic functions and parent functions, ad libitum. So, the extroverted feeling critic of the ESFP likes to consistently challenge the moral faculties the moral proclivities of the intp and the extroverted thinking critic of the intp loves to challenge the ESFP on their intellectual faculties or basically how intelligent the ESF p is.
And TP is concerned the ESF P just following the bouncing ball, taking everyone at their word, and then living life accordingly. Whereas ESF P is more concerned of the intp not necessarily actually being a good person, which is definitely something that I have personally experienced, especially in my first marriage because I was married to an ESFP woman. And throughout our marriage, this was consistent. This is consistent.
I remember getting on her about listening to the wrong people and valuing the opinions of other people over myself consistently. She would constantly call out my moral decision making and how my priorities were completely wrong on a regular basis. And honestly, I think given our age and given everything that we’ve been through in our lives, I think both of us were actually correct. We were the same age within about six months of each other.
She was born in June. I was June. I was born in February. So So yeah, like about four months difference 2.4 months in a week, basically.
And it it can it was pretty difficult. But the thing is, is that the how she was criticizing me versus how I was criticizing her I believe that we were both right. I definitely did have the wrong priorities. And oftentimes she was not behaved in an intelligent way, and would oftentimes put other people’s opinions a lot higher than my own right.
And so we would continue to challenge each other in these areas. And eventually, this would actually through cognitive orbit, which is ultimately, what this relationship is really all about. It’s about maximizing cognitive orbit, because while we’re using our own credit functions to basically slam the other person, what this is doing is actually growing our parent functions. And this is a relationship that, or a friendship that basically builds up personal responsibility, the challenge relationship is all about building up personal responsibility.
And that’s ultimately what it’s all about. That’s ultimately what needs to be done or what needs to be said, between these two people. So honestly, like, people have underdeveloped parent functions, this is they need a friendship, they need a relationship like this, the ESFP and but honestly, like, I think it would even be more suited if they had like, you know, a same gender friendship basically woman, a woman man on man friendship, from a shoulder to shoulder perspective, not an actual sexual relationship, which is face to face. Because regardless of which one of these types is the woman within a sexual relationship, it’d be very hard for her to submit to the man, it’d be very difficult just by default, just by the nature of credit functions and the cognitive orbit of their critic function, basically, improving your your parent function, because the challenge the critic is constantly in your face on regular basis, which can grow your parent but in a sexual relationship, it’s not really that sustainable.
And while this is technically one of the long term relationships, for sexual compatibility, it is one of the relationships that is most difficult to actually sustain. Because of that challenge. Now, I always say like, you know, when it comes to sexual relationships, the challenge or the refinement relationship, or the super ego relationship represents, basically, it’s an option for those who have extremely high body counts, and they’re just kind of bored with anyone and everyone that they meet in their life. And because of that, you know, psychologically bored that is, and because of that, they want to challenge they end up in this relationship, because this relationship consistently keeps them on their toes.
The difference is that especially in Western society, it’s extremely difficult for the woman within the sexual relationship to actually submit just based on the cognitive orbit nature of their credit function, sharpening your parent function in your credit function, sharpening their apparent function, it makes it very, very difficult for submission to actually take place, right? So but in the context of a friendship, which honestly, there really is no male or female friends thing if there is like, honestly, if you’re a woman who has male friends, honestly, those male friends secretly want to have sex with you. And you just need to be aware of that, like the sexual agenda is always there. If you’re a man and you’re not being honest, with a woman about your desire to have sex with her, then you shouldn’t be around her and you’re kind of like not actually a man and you’re not worthy for anyway, so you should like Get the hell out. So avoid avoid relationships where the sexual friendships where the sexual agenda is present, just don’t do it.
It’s like really dumb, like it’s actually stupid. What you should be doing is that when it comes to friendships, just be friends with your own gender. Seriously, just be friends your own gender, you will only you will learn the most about the other gender from people of your same gender, same biological gender basically, same thing goes you know, from you know, women men, it doesn’t matter right. So and then utilize each other to sharpen each other up.
So it is written this iron sharpens iron, so does one man to another. And that’s ultimately can happen, you know, for a shoulder to shoulder male to male and TP ESFP friendship. So how can an NTP get the most out of it? Well, the NTP basically needs to be willing to expose themselves and not hide anything and be 100% brutally honest, even to the point of self deprecation to the ESFP you have to be willing to share and even in some cases, overshare as annoying as the ESFP would find that because I do find that really annoying. The differences though is that when they start using their expert feeling critic, you need to start listening.
And you need to literally look at how they prioritize things in their life, basically, and then create a system because you’re triple systematic, create a system that actually gives you the intp the opportunity to utilize how they go about prioritizing things and learn a way that you can prioritize things in a similar manner. This will actually help you build up your extroverted or introverted feeling trickster while simultaneously build your Introverted Thinking parent because you will actually know what is true and what is false but When which priorities should be considered and which ones should not? One of the ways that Benjamin Franklin, who is an ESTP actually did this is that he actually sat down and created a system for prioritization, that I believe that he got from an ESFP was he learned the principle from an ESFP. That basically he writes down, you know, the decisions and he goes through a whole list of pros and cons. And then he just chooses the thing that has the most pros to it, and then makes a decision on that if he absolutely doesn’t know how he feels about things which Ferny NTP is basically default that we usually don’t know how to do things.
But anyway, that’s that’s really what needed to be can get the most out of an ENFP for he’s just utilize that Introverted Feeling parent to learn how to prioritize things. And if they criticize you, on your lack of priority, bother to ask them specifically, what what it is they do to prioritize things and then try to create a system based on that feedback that they give you. And that literally is how an intp can get the most out of an ENFP relationship to better oneself. So I folks, thanks for watching, and I’ll see you guys on the next episode.