cs joseph responds
In this video, I’ll be answering the question can marriage between ESTJ men and ISFP women work longterm? Before I get into that, I need you to subscribe to the channel and also leave a like below and hit the alert bell so you can stay up to date on all of our upcoming uploads. That being said, welcome to CS Joseph Responds. I’m your host Chase, here to answer your questions on all things Jungian analytical psychology, the four sides of the mind, also known as four sides dynamics. And like I said, today’s question is can marriage between ESTJ men and ISFP women work longterm? And the source of today’s question is none other than our own YouTube channel. Let’s take a look at who asked the question. Comes from Layla Taha, or Taha. I have no idea how to even say her name. And she asked this question in response to how do you beat an ESTJ at their own game? So to answer the question directly, just as simply put, yes. In fact, very much so. Now granted, there’s multiple kinds of sexual relationships, and some of the sexual relationships or intimate relationships, for that matter, that I recommend to people within my own community, there’s five of them. And so the first one is known as the golden pair. And so an ESTJ, a golden-paired ESTJ is an ISTP, and this is the relationship for understanding. So people who have lacked understanding and people understanding them in their life, they usually seek out these relationships. They have the highest highs and the lowest lows, however, so there’s some pros and cons to this relationship. It’s highest sexual compatibility, highest emotional compatibility. It’s pretty awesome in general. The next one is known as the silver pair. The silver pair, for example, an ESTJ, the silver pair would be with an ESTP. This relationship, while the golden pair is all about achieving the highest level of understanding, this relationship is actually about achieving the highest level of respect. And this is usually what people go for if they lacking respect in their life and they’re seeking out respect. This would be like, for example, an ESTJ man who hasn’t been really respected by his super-pragmatic, intellectual family and ends up getting with a very masculine ESTP woman who has been rejected by her very affiliative religious family, for example. So they end up taking souls with one another’s human nurture as a result of getting benefits afforded to them by the silver pair, such as high levels of respect. Really good, very good sexual compatibility, very good emotional compatibility, but it’s not so much based on understanding as much as it is based on respect. The third relationship I recommend to people is known as the bronze pair, and the bronze pair, which for an ESTJ, would actually be an INFJ. And the bronze pair compatibility relationship is the relationship, it’s the most common marriage for these types. It also is statistically the longest-lasting marriage is the bronze pair relationship. The bronze pair relationship is known as the companion relationship. It’s also known as the fun relationships, the relationship for the people who have the most fun, and they do not have the highest sexual compatibility. They do not have the highest emotional compatibility, but this compatibility definitely works, and it is very good, and it is a very, very fun relationship. And the reason why is because when people are cognitive looping, and everyone cognitive loops by default in their life because their parent function is not developed yet, when they’re cognitive looping, their hero and their child, eventually, they gain personal responsibility, and their parent function develops, which means their hero and their child within themselves do not interact as much anymore. And that’s because most people wish they could go back to their old days and be like how it was in their childhood if their childhood was good, et cetera, and because they like to enjoy the experience of what it was like to cognitive loop. But a bronze pair actually allows cognitive looping not within but without. The other person you’re in a relationship with allows you to experience that child-like feeling of cognitive looping like you were with your child but with another person because you’re relying on their hero for your child, or their child’s relying on your hero function. You both get to have that cognitive looping experience outside of what you would normally, and this is one of the reasons why the bronze pair is insanely powerful. And for most people, I would actually recommend the bronze pair the most. The next relationship that I would recommend is the pedagogue relationship, and that’s what this relationship is. ESTJ and ISFP, that is known as the pedagogue relationship. And it is tied for highest sexual compatibility, like with the golden pair. So the sex is always great but very low emotional compatibility. Now most people would scoff at that and be like, “Well, how is this a good relationship?” It is because they end up getting a high level of, well, personal growth from each other because they’re each other’s pedagogues. They teach each other the most lessons. In order to make this relationship work longterm, however, if there is any conflict in the relationship, you must resolve it in the bedroom as often as possible. This is a relationship that I think sex needs to happen basically once a day indefinitely for the rest of your lives. You need to have sex everyday. You need to make sure that your health is where it is to enable yourselves to have sex everyday. Sex needs to happen every single day for this relationship to maintain that strong sexual bond. I recommend the same with the golden pairing, basically for any of the other relationships, but it’s especially important for the pedagogue relationship out of all the relationships. There needs to be daily sex. The other thing is, too, with this particular relationship, the emotional incompatibility like when comes to an ISFP or a ESTJ, the ISFP needs to make sure not to put her values above the values of her husband, her ESTJ husband. This is absolutely critical. The ESTJ heavily values his values and gets really, really sensitive, sometimes to the point of hatred if it’s attacked, if his value system is attacked. And the ISFP woman needs to make sure that his values are actually more important than her values. That’s the only way this relationship’s going to work. However, the ESTJ man, to show love towards his ISFP, he should never, ever put above his status, his reputation above that of his wife. He needs to go out of his way to elevate her status, to elevate her reputation. They need to have this exchange in order to make this pedagogue relationship work. It’s absolutely critical. I cannot stress it enough. The other relationship I’d recommend is known as the benefactor relationship, and the benefactor relationship would be like an ESTJ with an ESFP. Very similar in makeup between an ESTJ and an ISFP pedagogue relationship, but this is known as the benefactor relationship. And it definitely works. Again, the same thing with the status versus the values, but there’s going to be a little bit less conflict, and there’s a little bit more respect, and it’s because it’s like a half silver pair, has the same sexual compatibility as a silver pair, but the value system and the status and reputation system in it is still a thing. So benefactor works as well although not as good as a pedagogue relationship. Now if I was going to rank them, honestly, it just depends on a person’s human nurture, what they’ve experienced in life and what their preferences are. All five of these relationships work. These are the top five sexual relationships for each of the types. But in this particular case, Layla’s trying to figure out if an ESTJ and an ISFP would work out. Absolutely it can, but again, in order to make this relationship work out, you have to make sure that she, the ISFP, is not putting her value systems above the values of her husband, and he needs to make sure that he is not putting his reputation and his status above the status and reputation of his ISFP wife. If they do these things on top of having sex every single day, they’ll have a fantastic relationship that will contribute to the highest level of personal growth such that this relationship may even actually assist them with reaching enlightenment down the road for each other and themselves. Highly, highly recommend this relationship, so definitely do it. 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