Are INFJs Supposed to Be Extraverts? | INFJ Coffeehouse | CS Joseph Coach Jay
CS Joseph Coach Jay answers are INFJs supposed to be extraverts in the INFJ coffehouse.
Hey, everyone, welcome to this CSJ podcast. I’m your host Jay, this is the INFJ coffee house. And it’s a place where when you think of coffee house for music, it’s a little bit lighter, a little bit more mellow. But it’s also sometimes a little more deep.
And so that’s what we’re going to try to focus on here today is stay in line with those characteristics. And speaking of music I thought the record of the music recommendation today would be the London suede. And life is golden, fairly recent musical piece from them. Maybe a year, year and a half old, I have to double check but not too old.
It’s particularly appropriate I think today, because it’s not so much about the lyrics, although the lyrics are incredible. It’s it’s the video. And so I’d recommend everybody check it out on YouTube or wherever the the entire video is shot. It’s aerial footage of the remains around Chernobyl.
And Chernobyl is in the Ukraine. And of course this week we have the Ukraine Russian conflict going on. So for those reasons, and Chernobyl in some ways, maybe being a metaphor for war or destruction, loss of life, those kinds of things. I thought maybe it would make sense as a tribute to members of our community who are in Ukraine and there are some one of the most the one of the most important why are I say important, one of the lines in the lyrics that I like the most is you’re not alone when the world puts all the winter in you.
So anyway, great lyrics on that a great video encourage you to check it out. Life is golden by the London suede. So last night, I was invited to a small get together. Here in town, a group of friends of the guy that I went with, he had asked me to go with him.
None of these people I knew. So it wasn’t turned out to be about 20 people a little uncomfortable for a responding guy like myself, but but in the end, it turned out to be quite enjoyable. And one one of the people that I met there was an INFJ has his PhD in psychiatry. And the reason I mentioned this is thinking back to a video musings of an INFJ that I’d done some time ago, talking about the homeless population and transient population that are in the area where I live here in downtown.
He he did his PhD thesis on homeless men and their their their psychiatric needs or psychiatric growth profile and whatnot. And but we weren’t able to finish our conversation. And then it came time to go. And he is actually at his house that the party was being hosted.
He was hosting. You’re leaving and he said, Jay, we need to finish up our discussion. I said Yeah, and somebody else said what discussion was at? And I said he said we were talking about the homeless and I said yeah, he he deals with the homeless professionally. I do with the homeless as a habit, I’m sorry, as a hobby.
Which is kind of true. I just I don’t even know why I bring it up. But it’s a little bit informative, maybe, but I just found it interesting, another INFJ who had this interest in, in the homeless. And that became the basis of a an interesting conversation between us.
Anyway. Maybe some of you can relate to that. What I wanted to do is for today, oops, I think I may just lost it. And now here it is.
Alright, so um there was a try and do this need to do? Oh, yes. Hang on just a second bear with me. All right, here we go. So, as you recall, one of the one of the things I want to do with the INFJ Coffee House is to use Cora as a source of some of the things we talked about.
And I’m doing that today. The question, oh, by the way, I mentioned Emily, in the last episode of INFJ Coffee House, who told me on Quora that I was wrong. And that my description of Ni was I was completely wrong. And I challenged her back and said, well tell me how I’m wrong.
And she has yet to respond. I didn’t think she would. Anyway, moving on from Emily. Today’s question is, are inf J’s supposed to be extroverted? Now? I know, I know what the question is actually asking, but I immediately got hung up on the word supposed to be? I mean, is any type supposed to be one way or another? I don’t know.
It’s funny to me. How so many people and you know who you are. So many people get bent out of shape by being put in a box? That that that that the 16 types puts people in a box, it categorizes them? Well, it does. But you know, again, it’s primary preference, right? The, the, the sides of the box are permeable.
They’re not hard. They’re not rigid. They’re fluid, in a lot of ways, is primary preference. But yet the same people who complain about being put in a box are also the ones that ask the questions.
Well, who is the most this? Or who’s who’s least likely to do that? Or, in this case, you know, are INFJ supposed to be extroverts In other words, despite their own misgivings about putting about defining patterns of behavior, and in the sense of being confined only to those patterns. That’s what they want to do with everybody else is categorize and confine and, and anyway, just a little ironic. But nevertheless, it’s way it is. But back to the question.
All right. INFJs are supposed to be extrovert I think the what I think the question being asked is, are INFJs really introverts? Are they more correctly? Extroverts? Well, of course, they’re introverts. They are true introverts. Now, I think it’d be a fair statement to say they are the most extroverted or the of the introverts.
Certainly one of the one of the types most likely or, or closer to extraversion, then then some of the other introverts, that doesn’t mean they are not introverts. They’re not responding but because they are just like the example I gave you myself at the, at that little shindig last night. I didn’t know a soul there. 20 people didn’t know a soul there.
But they were very welcoming, accepting struck up some good conversations with many of them. But no less. I was ready to go. After two hours of standing on the sidelines, hoping someone would come up and talk to me getting some courage up to go talk to them and trying to find a, a conversation of interest beyond just small talk.
which fortunately, I did find that the that other INFJ and I was ready to go, I was ready to get out of there, come home and recharge my batteries. It takes a lot of energy INFJs are responding. Now. Why do they come across as extroverted? Nobody believes me when I tell them I am introverted.
My friends, I mean, because they see me in a different light. They see me because I know them. Maybe it’s a one on one situation. or small group.
And I’m comfortable with them. I know. I know them. And they’re accepting of me.
And so yeah, interaction comes easier. But you know, you really have to look cognitive functions to write extroverted feeling. Paranoid, extroverted, sensing, inferior. So wanting to make other people happy, being in tune with their emotions.
Wanting to help, and also wanting to give other people a good experience. So the word feeling right, feelings is an interesting word. It’s one of those words in English, where feeling can mean emotions, it can also mean physical comfort. So when you say how do you feel to someone? Obviously, it depends on them, they may take it well, how am I feeling emotionally or how I’m feeling physically, it’s all context driven.
Anyway, INFJs, Fe, and SE. So to me, Fe and SE, having both of those, in the ego drives the INFJs need for interaction, despite their introversion, they, in order to be healthy and happy, they have to have interaction with people. But it’s on their terms, right. It’s on their terms, when where how long, but they have to have to isolate themselves is to which many do and but it is in the long run unhealthy and they have to get out of that and get out with people.
I think in some ways, that’s why and just say for me personally COVID lock downs have been difficult you know, being being single living alone, and during an enduring COVID having to work from home not having interaction with coworkers and customers and clients and whatnot. Very difficult Fe and se more than in my mind more than te or any needs to have the interpersonal connection, I may be wrong and you know, if you think I am, by all means tell me but that’s my sense is Fe and se are more needing of the interpersonal in person interaction and and, and I inf J’s need that. Anyway, so, let me give you a couple of answers having so I just told you my answer. I actually got ahead of myself, I gave you my answer essentially, to to this question on Quora are inf JS support supposed to be extroverted? So let me give you now that you know my answer.
And and I’m sure each of you would know how or would have an idea how to answer this question. Let me give you an idea of some of the other answers that came across. So one of them is she says, you know, it’d be nice to have a poor suitable brain scanner lineup all INFJs scan them and see what type of neurotransmitter acetylcholine or dopamine their brain prefers. Wouldn’t that be nice? Much easier said than done considering that we haven’t had any volunteers have an excellent day or night? I’m not sure what that has to do with the question but I thought it was interesting as an answer.
Here’s another one. The AI stands for introverted, so that would be a no Okay. Fair enough. That’s right.
That being said, MBTI is based mostly on Joanie Joanie in personality theory and a union definition of introverted is not quite the same thing as the Big Five definition by which the introverted is often used. Generally, you’ll use introverted to indicate subjectivism. A person is not merely an introvert, they are introverted thinker or feeler and an introverted intuitive or sensor. The predominant cognitive function be a perception, intuition or feeling, or judging, deciding, thinking or feeling.
And I thought this was interesting that she used the word feeling twice, one on the perception side when she actually means sensing right. As in physical, and then on the judging side, she uses feeling which is she’s meaning emotional. But then she goes on if it is introverted, it means that the individuals will perceive or evaluate ideas of this nature through a subjective lens. Put simply, an introvert is a person who looks inward true.
Before looking outward. When thinking formulating worldview or solving a problem. This is their method. An introvert is less concerned with what other people believe, or what other people’s opinions are than a person with the equivalent extroverted orientation.
So, you know, she she goes on to she goes on to describe trying to answer the question by describing the differences between extraversion and introversion, that really never comes to a conclusion. But, you know, it’s really not, it’s really not complicated, if you understand the, the cognitive functions and their placement in the cognitive stack the attitudes associated with them with each other. So, yeah, are INFJ supposed to be extroverted? Now, they’re not supposed to be anything. They are certain things just like the other types, they’re not supposed to be anything.
But don’t be surprised if you sometimes have to second guess whether or not they’re introverted, or extroverted. And, and you, you may be surprised that as much as you think they’re extroverted, that in fact, they are extroverted. All right, so, um, pretty much that was today’s today’s video, you know, my stuff is going to be, you know, we talked about certain things, it’s going to tend to be a little lighter, not so in depth necessarily, but the basics are important. And particularly when we’re dealing with a lot of folks in the larger quote, unquote MBTI community, people interested in yoga and analytical psychology to define things properly, to explain the models correctly.
And I think that’s where with that understanding and teaching those basics more folks will will understand and be able to take take advantage of the science and you know, for themselves, their lives and in their relationships, and that’s what we’re all hoping to do. Yes, there’s a lot of depth to, to what we’re doing at CSJ. But I don’t want to I don’t want to pass up the basics. The basics are the foundation and the more understanding we have outside the community as to where we’re coming from and and whatnot.
I think the more successful we’ll be more successful individuals so So with that, until next time, we will go in today’s session viral use of silver so can you in the cave you