Matt’s a good friend of mine. He lives in Atlanta with his wife and two dogs. He’s a salesman by occupation but he’s also a dancer, model, and semi-professional pool player. He is an Alpha and has the wolf pack to prove it. Not only is he an ESTP, he seems the archetype itself.
We met a couple of years ago at a social event, struck up a conversation regarding things to do in Atlanta, and just hit it off. Since then, we have made it a point of catching up every three or four months and going out on the town. Sometimes we’d go with his wife, sometimes with a group of friends, but always with him taking charge and showing everyone a good time.
As I have gotten to know Matt, I realize that our relationship is more shoulder-to-shoulder than face-to-face. By that I mean we are not close friends. Sure, we ask about each other’s families, how life is going, etc., but it’s borderline superficial at times and almost competitive. We enjoy challenging each other in just about everything, and we can tire of each other as well. When we get together, however, it’s an opportunity for both of us to just get away from the mundane “day-to-day” and share experiences that we, I, might not otherwise have.
I neglected to mention anything about myself. That’s typical of me, but I will share that I’m INFJ in personality, confirmed by C.S. Joseph himself. Understanding that should clarify my relationship with Matt. We are of the same Quadra, both of us being users of the same four cognitive functions within our Egos. As an ESTP, his follow the order Se, Ti, Fe, and Ni while I order mine in the reverse Ni, Fe, Ti, and Se. More than simply using the same functions, however, that reversal illustrates the existence of another relationship—his Subconscious is INFJ and mine is ESTP. Essentially, we aspire to be each other!
But back to Atlanta. It was February and cold, at least by standards here in the deep South. We had been out with a group of friends eating, drinking, and dancing, but the night was winding down and most everyone was ready to head home. The drink of the night had been Vodka Redbull and, for me, Redbull mixed with good high energy music has my feet out on the dance floor (and no, I have not been compared to Seinfeld’s Elaine Benes… yet). Anyway, with the group disbanding Matt wanted to go to one last place, a club promising the best dance music and drag show in town. This I wanted to see, but not before one more Redbull and the arrival of our Uber.
Even from outside, the place was electric—laser lights and pulsing beats—but I wasn’t feeling myself. I didn’t feel sick, so I just attributed it to sensory overload. I glanced at Matt as we stood in line to enter. He was quieter than usual. That ever-active Ti Parent was subdued. I assumed that even he was just getting tired.
We entered to find a packed house with the next show about to start. Two drag queens dancing to Hip Hop. Matt found it interesting, but I was aghast at the sight. I mean… drag queens do dance music… like Lady Gaga. I began criticizing the dancers, the venue, the whole concept, and how to do it differently. I was vocal about it and didn’t care who heard me, not even the dancers themselves. Matt then turned to me saying in an uncharacteristically gentle way that we should support them, try to understand the message and meaning of the show, and respect them for what they were doing.
It was at that point that it hit, not like one of Matt’s “friendly” punches to the shoulder, but a realization that the stimulation from all those Redbulls, and everything else, had pushed us both into our Subconscious minds. We had become each other! He was now the INFJ and I the ESTP. Fortunately, the effect didn’t last long, but the experience was nothing short of illuminating. Seeing it occur in oneself in isolation is one thing but seeing it jointly with someone who is your own subconscious’ type is not only memorable, but uniquely confirming of the concept and process of cognitive transition. Maybe it will happen again…
C. S. Joseph
Founder, CEO – CSJ.life