About INTJ Paranoia & Abandonment | CS Joseph Responds
CS Joseph responds to an Acolyte question about INTJ paranoia and abandonment.
Hey what’s up? Hey, hackers, welcome to see it’s just a podcast. And we’re gonna be discussing INTJ today. But before I do, please realize we’re having a coaching sale right now and it’s gonna be ending very soon. So you might want to get in on that CS Joseph dot life forge slash coaching, I think there’s like a 20% discount.
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INTJ’s? Yes. So how can INTJ’s escape, paranoia, and fear of abandonment or being abandoned? etc? And the answer is pretty, pretty simple. But it’s all it all has to do with extroverted sensing, inferior, extroverted sensing function, it’s a function that is attached to a person’s environment, right? It’s attached to their physical environment, and the physical environment really, really matters, right? So how is that? How is that going to work? How is that physical? Like? You hear this? You hear a lot of sayings out there like, like, take INFJs, for example, you know, they ultimately become the average of the people they are around, right? Or you look at ISFJs ISFJs become the some of the people that they’re around the how does that affect INTJ? J’s, I would say that, given that they’re an INFJ, similar to INFJ, the INTJ is also have a similar problem, and that they become the average of the people they are around. And what I mean that I mean that from a point of intellect, okay? Because INTJ is if they don’t surround themselves with smart and intelligent people, eventually, over time, their own intelligence to their ti critic inside of their souls is actually going to be entropic, it’s going to be in a state of decay, okay? An actual consistent state of decay, their, their literal, intently will become stupider over time is basically what I’m saying.
Their intelligence will decay. So they have to constantly be around people who are more intelligent than them or be reading books or being educated on a consistent basis to keep their extroverted thinking parents sharp, but, you know, then they’d have to, like, you know, take personal responsibility for that. And a lot of people out there, you know, because te parent can get pretty lazy, it can be irresponsible, especially when it’s an extroverted thinking teenager mode, and hasn’t matured into that responsible parent yet. Because it hasn’t even done that yet.
That too, ends up becoming a serious problem, right? Dang, all these paddleboarders out here, maybe I should go paddleboarding kind of kind of thinking about it. Kind of thinking about it, getting a little envious, my envy deadly sin is like, those people are happier than me. And I have a palette board that can be out there right now. Anyway, so it’s really important that INTJ is are around people to be able to pick their brains absorb their intelligence so that they can remain intelligent.
Basically, it’s it’s made important, you know, there’s other types that are similar to that like ENFPs, but ENFPs have Introverted Sensing, and those they can take all those ideas that they’ve been able to mine out of people’s heads with them. Whereas the INTJ not so much. The INTJ actually has to practice those ideas in order for them to retain those ideas. And honestly, INTJ won’t always be able to do that.
But one of my biggest criticisms with INTJ is is the INTJ is never are actually like, you know, home. They’re never home. Oh, wait, that’s wrong. They’re home too much.
They’re home too much. They never go out. They don’t socialize. They’re so antisocial and the more antisocial an INTJ is The less intelligent they are.
That’s a fact. And what what they often don’t realize is that lack of social life means will lead that will lead their intellect just to gain that nothingness. It’s horrible. And here’s the thing, it’s not good enough for them just socialize with just anybody.
They have to socialize with quality people. And it’s really hard for them to determine who a quality person is due to their expert feeling trickster getting in the way, because it’s like, how do I know that that person is valued. So they need to like have some kind of qualification system, because their ni hero is so obsessed with certainty. And certainty is the most important thing to an INTJ.
It’s like, Well, I’m not even gonna bother, unless I’m going to get what I want. So then they end up not willing to go do to experiment in different social situations and with different people. And they should, they should be experimenting, experimenting with new environments, experimenting with new people, they need to learn how to use their NTP shadow in a wise way. But oftentimes, they don’t.
And it’s really frustrating. Like what the hell, NTP shadow is all about experimentation. The NTP archetype experiments the most even more than even more than they’re on the constant journey of experimentation, they experiment even more than intp is because the intp is the method actor of process, the method actor of systems, they try on every process or every system, like a second set skin to see if it’s valid or not. And if it works, they allow they cut away the stuff that doesn’t work, and then they absorb the rest of it.
And then it actually becomes a part of them. INTJs need to learn this skill as well, their ENTP shadow, which means INTJs need to get off their ass, get out of their their little anxiety, little insecurity, oh, I couldn’t perform around people or, you know, get over yourselves and get off your ass, get out of your house, get away from your computer, get away from your Dark Souls, for example, get away from your World of Warcraft. Like seriously, and go out and be social. You know, this is why I recommend you know, INTJ is Learn Magic the Gathering because it allows them the opportunity to be around other intellectuals.
And a social area is probably the easiest place to go. INTJ’s used to be able to play chess all the time. But chess is basically died. And now Magic the Gathering has replaced it, especially if you’re playing commander format, which is insanely more difficult commander format is? Well, it’s like playing four chess boards simultaneously.
It’s four dimensional chess. And each one of those chess boards can interact with the other chess boards. It’s crazy. And you got four people, you got to make deals that creates them, it teaches them social skills, for example, and you’re around other intellectuals that people are more successful at Magic, the Gathering commander format are intellectual.
And you’ll be exposed round intellectuals. And I’ll help you be sharp because you know, as it is written as iron sharpens iron, so one man to another. But this also applies to INTJ women, if you’re not going out, then you’re going to be dumb. Sorry, you know, and then people are going to walk around thinking like, oh, there’s that dumb blonde.
You know, like, a lot of INTJ women out there, especially ones who were ESFP focused end up having that reputation when they shouldn’t have, but it’s because they’re afraid of socializing, because they’re afraid of rejection. It’s not your guys’s fear of rejection actually low reduces your intelligence, because your TI critic is causing your own intelligence inside of your head to decay. It literally has entropy. You don’t have Introverted Sensing to prevent the entropy because you have Introverted Sensing demon, so you forget everything.
So you have to use it constantly with the use or using function which is extroverted, sensing, making yourself useful or making others useful. And one of the way you do that is by surrounding yourself with intelligent people go out Who cares if you don’t know who they are, who cares if you don’t know if their quality goal Find out yourself and if they’re not do what you X rated sensing inferiors do the best, reject them and move on to the next person. I don’t care if you feel bad about yourself. You don’t want to become the average of the people you around.
You have to constantly be filling them with new people on a regular basis. You know, one of my good friends, Chad. He’s in the Facebook group. I hang out with him at least twice a week.
Really fantastic fellow, a great INTJ he’s ENTP focused. He’s a responsible parent parent. Yeah, he’s becoming a responsible businessman. He’s, he’s, he’s a really really hard worker.
Definitely a top performer. He’ll he’ll pick up skills super quick, you know, like, like any skill like we’ve been playing pool a lot recently. He went on YouTube, watched some videos on pool and then immediately just started dominating at the pool table, for example, and we were playing pool last night even. And like, that’s it yes, he actually forces himself to get out of the house.
out. And by doing so it makes him more intelligent, it makes him more capable. He’s just better every time. And I see so many other INTJ who lacked that entirely.
So like, for example, of one of the bars that we play at, I met this other INTJ who never goes out who ends up getting dragged out by by her friends, etc. And all she could do is just sit at the bar, reading a book, and it’s like, okay, are you actually like in a socialized? You’re gonna realize that, you know, you have a lot of mega intelligent people around you right now. Or are you just gonna sit there trying to read some, you know, bullshit book about a Olympic athletes and an Olympic coaching so that you can come up with some principles for success to increase your own personal performance, when you literally have a treasure trove of, you know, secrets and principles all around you, especially from my INTJ friend Chad, who’s basically figured it out. But no, you just you know, most certainty, right? My ni hero certainty, you know, you want that guarantee that guaranteed outcome or else you’re not going to bother, right? No.
INTJ is your triple progression for a reason, which means out of everybody on the earth other than ENFPs, it’s your job to consistently be on a journey. And if you’re not in the journey of experimenting with people, and taking a risk, because for some reason, your ni hero is so obsessed with certainty that you end up becoming risk averse. Start taking some risks, especially to socialize, because taking risks will bring you will make you more attractive, people won’t reject you. And then guess what you’ll be around intelligent people, and then also in your intelligence will not be in a state of decay anymore.
It’ll be constantly building, and you’ll be better off as a person. So what is the answer the question, the answer is change your environment, change your social life, be in a mode of consistent change, constantly adding new people all the time. You do that by getting hobbies, go to meetup.com Start a meetup, do something take action. Because if you’re just gonna stay at home, because you’re so afraid of rejection, you’re going to end up dying, stupid, basically, worthless, incapable of intelligent thought.
Like, seriously, your TI critic is trying to tell this to you. You need to get out there and pick other people’s brains. And if you’re picking low quality brains, eventually you’ll be able to tell which brands are high quality after a while. That’s all your SI demon is trying to get you to do put in more effort folks.
And this is how you put in more effort so that you can actually like obtain happiness and reduce the sorrow in your life is INTJ’s that’s a dress I demon wants wants for you in its angelic form. So you might want to follow its lead there. Alright, put in more effort and your social game. An example of a book that can teach you good social skills for this would be How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
And also, believe it or not, the rational male volume five by Rollo Tomassi something I also highly recommend INTJ women read as well, given how masculine they are. And Tomasi is an INTJ. And he spent his whole life with his Fe trickster and his si demon coming up with these principles for social success. You might want to pay attention to that.
You really might want to pay attention to that. I think you learn a lot. Start there and then go get a social life at least a meaningful social life, and then all of a sudden, like you’d be better off. So me folks, thanks for watching, and I’ll see you on the next episode.