8 Rules For Loving an ISTJ | Season 27 | CS Joseph
CS Joseph discusses 8 rules for loving an ISTJ.
Hey what’s up? Hey yo, hackers. This is the CS Joseph podcast. I’m your host CS Joseph. As usual.
We’re not always as usual since Chris Taylor is going to be hosting this podcast as well, in the very near future. And Welcome to Season 26. Episode nine. The eight rules for loving ISTJ is or the rules for love ISTJ episode.
So yeah. ISTJ is the most boring of all the types, right? As many people believe. But it really depends, it just depends on what flavor of ISTJ they are. Are they the courageous ISTJ? Or are they the risk averse? ISTJ? You see? The risk averse ones are the ones that? Well, they’re the boring people.
They’re the they’re the most boring of all the types, but the ones who are not risk averse. And they’re usually ESTP focused as ISTJ is. Those people are definitely not. They’re the ones that go out of their way to not play it safe.
And I had the honour of speaking with an ISTJ recently, although he doesn’t believe he’s an ISTJ, per se. I definitely maintain he is. And one of the reasons that one of the things that he brought up is just like, I don’t want to be ISTJ they’re just so boring. I’m like, bro, but you’re not boring, though.
And he’s like, Well, why and I’m like, because you’re ESTP focused. You’re one of those ESTP focused ISTJ. So some examples of ESTP focused INTJ is out there, Channing Tatum, he is definitely one of them. Vin Diesel is also another example of a shadow focused es era ISTJ which is pretty good.
And then my absolute favorite, Patrick mahomes, who, in my opinion, may I think he’s got more raw talent than Tom Brady. I think Patrick mahomes is very gutsy, yet disciplined. At the same time, I think he may actually be the perfect quarterback in the NFL, for sure. And he’s an ESTP focused ISTJ and it’s so funny, because the guy that I was talking to, looks just like Patrick mahomes said, the spitting image of Patrick mahomes.
But in either case, in either way, it’s just so fascinating to me to see how there’s a lot of things that, you know, are similar, you know, between people, when it when it comes to, you know, considering, you know, their type of income from what’s going on what they’re up to, etc. And, you know, a lot of people just kind of, you know, they hear me say something, and then they just write off for the whole thing. And it’s just like, you guys have to understand that each of the 16 types, regardless of my own opinions, or biases, towards any of the 16 types, you just have to understand that, like, you just gotta understand that, you know, every, like, you know, God doesn’t make trash, right? Every single one of the 16 types is amazing in some capacity, and you just gotta, you gotta be patient and really discover what it is. And if you find out what type you are, and you just don’t like that type or whatever, then you need to be devoting yourself to becoming the exception to the rule, the exceptional version of the type basically, I think that would be I think that would be wise for for anyone and everyone to do, you know, as a result of that, so keep that in mind.
I think that would be that would probably be the absolute best approach that I would recommend. So yeah, ISTJ is they can be it’d be pretty Yeah, they can be pretty boring, but I mean, so Can my type so can and EMTP like anyone can be boring. So just just keep that in mind folks. 04:52 am as good as real good.
It’s one of my favorite Get a little bit more on the bottom got it? Pretty good. Sometimes it tastes like Nesquik it is a Nesquik he has ever had Nesquik cereal. I love that cereal grown up 05:29 poisoned, but I loved it. Anyway.
So yeah, a rules for loving is TJ is TJ is, you know, since most people assume that the most boring of all the types, because I say that a lot and you know, in a lot of cases is true. But in some cases, it’s not. Oftentimes people think that the easiest to actually have a relationship with. And I just gotta say, that’s not, that’s not true at all.
It’s really not, it’s not true. And I don’t I think a lot of people don’t even realize, you know, just how complex individuals ISTJ is actually are and what they’re capable of. I mean, even when it comes to like someone like Patrick mahomes, you know, on top of the world, successful NFL quarterback, but the thing is, is that there’s just not really that much simple, that, you know, they’re just not so that it’s not that simple, just like it is for any of the 16 types, it’s not really that simple. And it’s just really important to keep that in mind, that you’re not judging a book by its cover.
And that’s always what I’m afraid of that this audience is doing is judging people, books by their cover. And that is definitely something that we don’t want to happen, we really don’t want that to happen at all within the context of this audience. So please, you know, keep an open mind with every single type. Because, you know, they’ll, they’ll surprise you, and ISTJ is consistently surprised me, we have highest emotional compatibility.
Out of all of the SI users, they are the only type that I would ever consider having a sexual relationship with, out of all of them really the only one, and it would be an insane challenge, and to even pull that off, but it would be that kind of challenge that would change me and molded me into a better person in some capacity. So, you know, I too, have to be aware of the potential rules or potential rules for love, you know, the eight rules for love when it comes to is DJs as well, because, quite honestly, you know, they basically be on the list of potential people, you know, and I’m not trying to be like one of those, you know, INTJ is that limits myself on relationships based on type because the reality of the situation is, folks is that sexuality, always Trump’s personality type every single time. It always does, you know, and granted, I’m not saying that, like, I’m looking for an eye ISTJ or looking for anyone for that matter. I quite enjoy my wife and my family.
And she’s very dear to me. And she means the world to me. And yeah, we have her struggles we have our challenges, we are in a kindred relationship, which is very fiery relationship, but the level of improvement we’re able to give each other over time it really makes it worth it 08:53 so be that as it may though, like it’s just kind of really important for everyone just to understand that you know, sexuality always Trump’s personality type it always does. So, you know, if you’re attracted to someone, allow yourself to be attracted to someone if you’re gonna have a sexual relationship with someone allow yourself to have a sexual relationship with someone it’s okay it’s completely okay it’s not like this thing that you have to you know, you don’t want to regiment your life based on like personality type or the words of CS Joseph, when it comes to understanding you know, compatibility.
Because as important as you know, sexual compatibility is and we’re gonna be talking really heavy about sexual compatibility in the upcoming course, which is failure proof your relationship or failure proofing your relationship. We’re gonna be talking about that consistently. 09:54 I was good. Where are we talking about? that consistently, like, just understand though, that sexuality really comes first.
And it’s kind of, Wow, this nature component, it is expressed mostly through human nurture. So regardless of your human nature, compatibility, just the circumstances, your life really draws you closer to certain kinds of relationships. And remember, there’s the affection relationship, there’s the companion relationship, there’s the natural relationship. There’s the intrigue, relationship, there’s the trust relationship, the refinement relationship, the Kindred relationship, as I mentioned, and there’s one other sexual relationships that I kind of missed.
Oh, the respect relationship. Yeah, those are the eight sexual relationships in terms of sexual compatibility that exist, the eight of them. And that’s always just something to be aware of knowing golden pairs, your affectionate, your pedagogue is your companion. And then you have the other natural is your bronze pair.
And the intrigue is the other bronze pair. So like my entry type would be ISTP, for example. 11:14 And it’s just, it’s just really important to be aware of these dynamics. So in the course, already kind of going through each of those and just kind of how compatibility works, to help people with their relationship, and just kind of keep their long term relationships, because a lot of people just don’t realize how at risk their long term relationships actually are.
And that’s why we’re doing season 26. We’ve been planning on releasing this course for a long time. But season 26 has been integral to the release of this product. And that’s actually the real reason we took it down when it was just because we wanted to be doing season 26 When we were about to release this course, and actually helping people with their relationships, and actually helping eliminate fatherlessness.
And that’s ultimately the number one goal of this new course is to keep fathers in the lives of children, etc. But trying to keep it alive. Almost lost it there for a second. But yeah, that’s, that’s really important.
It’s super important to, you know, just be aware of like I, most people, most people just, you know, come to this channel and expect their ego investments to be enabled, especially, you know, a lot of the female watchers of this channel, and they’re not really interested in having their ego investments check challenged. And that’s one of the most frustrating things about this audience. And I wish you folks just realized, like, hey, you know, I’m talking to you, like your dad should be talking to you, because a lot of you folks don’t even have days. And I have to take on that role.
Especially since you know, I don’t want to file this generation anymore. 13:05 It’s just super important to me, that is my number one mission here. That’s why I do this. You could say that’s Chase being affiliative, as it were, you know, when it comes to doing this content, but ISTJ as you know, they’re just as complex as everybody else.
They’re not really that simple. And honestly, I’m getting really tired of hearing STPs talking about how simple ISTJ is, are because here’s the reality situation. ISTJ is may be simple for STPs, but they’re not simple for everybody else. And you know, as the STPs go along, they start to realize that oh, yeah, is TJs are actually insanely challenging.
Anyway, like, yeah, they are very challenging. So please be aware of that challenge. And like, don’t, don’t be like limiting yourself. Basically, it’s, it’s a serious issue.
So what is the first rule? What is the first rule? What is what is si hero really looking for in a relationship? What is the first rule? The rule is something a little bit different. But most people would say, oh, you know, just gotta make them comfy. And it’s like, no, no, it’s not that simple. It really isn’t that simple.
It’s like here, it was extremely powerful. It’s, it’s really just there, it’s trying to be a part of something, or quite frankly, is trying to be a part of you, the SE user, if you’re an SE user, you’re in a relationship with an ISTJ is trying to be a part of you. And if that’s the case, you need to consider what that actually looks like. What is that? Exactly? Me? What does it mean? Well, here’s what it means, folks.
Si hero, because it’s trying to be a part of you. Shouldn’t you not provide consideration to the SI hero The SI hero is very sensible, right? The ISTJ is probably the most responsible, straight edge, stray arrow, type of person out of all 16 types. And they do that because they take, they spent a lot of time pondering, and being considerate of you, their partner. So I think it’s only fair that you should be considerate of them, because they are providing it to you this is this is known as cognitive projection, where people are hoping to receive the things back that they give to others, basically, that’s cognitive projection, right? Everyone does that.
And, you know, a lot of people don’t really understand the consequences of being inconsiderate towards an ISTJ. Because what happens is that all of a sudden, they’ll get insanely bitter. And then beyond that, they’ll start to feel like they’re not even remotely important to you. And when that’s the case, you know, anyone, anyone who makes them feel wanted anyone who makes them feel important, they’re just going to drop their pants for that person.
And they’re going to stop being loyal to you. But the way to like, you know, prevent that process is that you need to be consistently considerate of them, especially with them having te parent, which is where rule tool comes in. Always be thoughtful towards your ISTJ always be thoughtful, always have them in mind, always factor them in, don’t forget about them. Of course, you know, that’s kind of row five, not forgetting about them.
But it all kind of fits together, once you realize that the cognitive functions are not necessarily individual cogs in a machine or individual pieces, but something more. 16:59 It’s really important that you folks, you know, just understand that distinction. Be considerate, because they’re really sensible people, they’re very responsible. And they show you being considerate for you, by including you, as part of their responsibility, they have taken responsibility for you.
This is oftentimes why ISTJ is in romantic relationships, man or woman, they often have a tendency of cleaning up the mess of the SE user in their life, even much to their own detriment, because they just take responsibility for you. And they’re constantly protecting you on a regular basis. And the thing is, is that why are you not offering them anything like that and in return, and they don’t need much, because they often spend a lot of their own consideration, and their own responsibility on themselves along with you at the same time. Don’t forget, they are very affiliative and very interdependent, and being affiliative.
And being interdependent as a result gives them you know, kind of a different a different outlook, basically. So be very considerate to is TJs. They’re very considerate towards you, they always factor you in there, they go out of their way to always include you they’re very inclusive. And one of the worst things that you could ever do to an ISTJ is to actually disclude them in a situation, especially when they have spent so much effort factoring you in and being sensible and responsible for you.
And then all sudden you’re going to disclude them, why should they bother putting any more effort into you anymore? Why should they bother not being being loyal to you anymore, and it’s just going to create this hateful bitterness towards you over time and when you know, as a partner in relationship. And if you’re going to spend all of your attention on yourself, spend all of your freedom on others or yourself and not even factor in your decision making with them at all. Well, they’re going to feel discluded and they’re gonna be like, Wow, you’re obviously being inconsiderate, because you didn’t even take time to even consider me as a person. Because if you’re being considerate, that means you’re not going to forget that it makes your ISTJ feel unsafe or uncomfortable.
When you’re doing things without even factoring them in. You have to be considerate. And if you’re not considerate, you’re going to lose your ISTJ and you’re going to lose them super quick. You better be on top of that.
You better be on top of that. Because if you’re not, oh, man, you’re screwed. You’re screwed. You’re totally screwed, and you’re going to lose them.
You’re going to lose something great. Sometimes the people when you’re in sexual relations with an ISTJ you don’t know what you have. You don’t know what fresher you’re holding on to 20:08 you really have no clue, you really have no clue what you lost, you’re like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, you get kicked out of the garden, and you didn’t know how good you had it until it’s gone. That’s what it’s like being in a relationship with an ISTJ, it can be really, really good, especially if they’re like, if they’re if they’re a man, and they’re ESTP focused, wow.
And if they’re a woman, and they’re ENFP, focused, wow, because then you have a nice mixture of feminine and masculine that is within balance within those two types. And not to say, I’m not to say that the other people the other way around or inferior, they’re just rare and not exactly socially acceptable in today’s society, just keep that in mind. So, going beyond that was rule two, we already discussed it slightly, that is Be thoughtful towards your iCj and prove with concrete action, that you are actually thinking about them and actually putting in quality thought into them. This is one of the areas where I completely disagree with the five love languages, you know, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, oh my god, gift giving, and just all this crap, you know, the The Five Love Languages, they’re just so limited.
And they’re not even aware of extraversion or introversion. They’re not aware of cognitive functions. And honestly, it is a complete shit show. It is a complete shit show as to everything that they’re talking about.
And that’s why I don’t even bother. I don’t bother spending any time on The Five Love Languages. I think the five love languages are like a complete waste. And the thing is, is that like, because an ISTJ I love language here, which would be applied to rule two would literally be quality, thought quality thought, sending them quality, thought to mean thoughtful towards them.
And actually like they know that the thought that you put in matters, because they really, really care about that. They’re looking for a little bit additional variety that only you the creative potentially SP type could actually provide. And you’re adding something that is a bit novel, that novel in their life, but they also know that you spent a lot of time and contemplation effort really matters to them, because they put in a lot of effort towards you. And if you’re putting effort in your thoughts toward them, oh my god, they’re FYI, child start feeling special immediately.
And they love feeling special being special is everything to them. 22:56 That’s definitely sort of get warmer on the front end of it. And for sure enough, freezing my fingers off as I’m outside here. So yeah, like, you might want to be aware that be aware of the fact that they need you to be thoughtful, it is a need.
And by the way, rule number one, you know them being considerate. It’s being considerate of their needs, being aware of what they need, and if there’s a way that you can meet their need, meet it. That is how you can be considerate towards them. Forgive me if I was not so clear in describing rule number one.
So yeah, rule number two quality thought provide quality thought, actually spend some time put some effort into thinking about them, and show thoughtfulness. So there’s something that you know, that they like, go get it for them, for example, or, you know, or if they’re having a hard time, you know, trying to solve a problem, help them solve the problem by thinking it through and putting a lot of thought into it, because it will make their life easier. And it’s additional evidence that you care about them and are being considerate towards them. As you are observing rule one.
24:14 I got super important, like, you have to do it. Otherwise, they’re just going to be lost. And you think they’re even going to like you, if you’re not going to be putting the thought to them, they’re not gonna like you whatsoever. So you got to learn how to be thoughtful, even if you are a fellow te user, okay? You really need to learn how to be thoughtful.
That’s a really, really big deal. And if you can’t do that, well, you probably shouldn’t even be in a relationship with them. Rule number three, always make your eyes TJ feel special. Always.
All about being special. Not so much important. As much as it is actually about special and sometimes ISTJ will be like yeah, I really want to feel important, but that’s kind of more of an INTJ thing. because, you know, there’s a little bit of se in there, but when it comes to ISTJ reality is because they’re an SJ, it’s actually about being special, it’s about being a different kind of level a different kind of different, a different kind of different kinds of privilege, they like to be privileged, FYI, child is all about being privileged, whereas, you know, you know, for the ISTJ, whereas the INTJ is a little bit different, it’s more like, it’s kind of like being important to the point is same, but you know, the ISTJ, it’s about being special, it’s about being privileged.
It’s like getting privileged access, etc, to certain things, you know, private invitations to the club, etcetera. And that’s the thing, you know, that’s one of the most important things to like, realize, about ISTJ types, you know, and just kind of how they, they need need to be in, you know, have that special status in their life, because they already make themselves a priority, because their FYI, child naturally, the thing is, is that, like, they need to know that, you know, and they’re gonna make you a priority as well. But the thing is, though, is that by making you a priority, are they making themselves any less special? Or are you taking their feelings of specials away, I mean, if they’re in a relationship with a fellow fi user, they could end up being competing for the title of special in the relationship. But if the ICJ is in relationship with an FE user, that’s not so much of a big deal, it’s not so much of a problem.
Being special is, you know, the FE users like, they’re like, I’m only special, if you’re special, that you know, that kind of thing, that little self deprecation that Fe users do, because Fe users just want to be accepted. They don’t necessarily want to be the source of value, they don’t necessarily want to be the special person. And the FE user feels special because they’re with somebody who is special. But as the but if you’re in a relationship with an ISTJ, and you’re making them feel any less special, are you kidding me? Like that’s, that’s one of the worst things you can do.
That’s literally child abuse towards the ISTJ. You know, and I think about Patrick mahomes. And his girlfriend, for example, like, she goes out of her way to make him feel special or that it is known in their relationship that he understands that he always knows that he is special in the relationship and getting, you know, special privileges, you know, like girlfriend COVID, just kind of thing. I see J man, like, if you’re not sending like naked photos of yourself, to your eyes, Teach a man on a regular basis, or sexy photos on a regular basis.
And you’re actually showing your face by the way, none of this cover up your face bullshit. I mean, women that do that, I mean, honestly, your homework, kind of pathetic. And that just kind of shows that you don’t exactly trust your partner, you might want to consider that. And that is, you know, if you’re in a committed long term relationship, by the way.
Obviously, be wise. When you’re sharing photos yourself with other people. I mean, Anthony Weiner figured that out, funnily enough, he’s an ISTJ. So keep that in mind.
Keep that. Understood, basically. Because if you’re not going out of your way to make the ICJ feel special, it’s like, well, then what’s the point of me being here because River, FYI, child is all about investment, right? It wants to receive, it’s all about and it’s also all about return on investment. Although mostly se users, the Sci Fi users, the Wayfarers really rely on return on investment.
But that’s not to say that St. Jays don’t do that as well. They do do it. Because they do it from my point of expectation.
They have expectations. And they will share those expectations with you. And it’s really important to meet their expectations. And guess what that is rule for expert intuition inferior always go out of your way to meet the expectations of your ISTJ.
And if we don’t know what their expectations are, if you ask them to communicate, they’re not always going to be willing to share with you their expectations because it’s an inferior function. They’re scared they’re afraid it’s really important. Now granted, you know, obviously expert intuition inferior, it’s an infant. Yes, it wants to feel wanted.
Yes, it wants to feel desire to wants to feel chosen above others. But it’s not really going to communicate these things to you. But some of the subtle ways that it can communicate those things to you is through expectations. By talking in terms of expectations, it makes it safer for them to expose their expert intuition inferior, soft Gooshie center, you know, at the center of a Tootsie Pop after three legs, if you know what I’m saying.
You know, when they open up that part of themselves, speaking in terms of expectations is a really safe way for them to actually be willing to share that part of themselves with you. 30:16 You want to keep that in mind, you really, really definitely want to keep that in mind. And just make sure that, yes, you’re making them feel special, and you’re demonstrating that you’re proving that, you know, make them feel privileged in some capacity. That’s how you make them feel special.
But then also really come to an understanding as to what their expectations are, view and meet those expectations. Because by meeting those expectations that an ISTJ has a view, that is how you’re communicating to their extrovert intuition inferior that you actually want them that you actually desire them. It’s a really, really big deal. And you also have to be willing, especially if you’re an STP woman, oh my god, especially if you’re an STP, masculine woman, you really have to realize that the ISTJ in your relationship is the one that sets expectations, not you.
You don’t, you don’t get to set expectations they do. And I don’t care how entitled you feel about expectations in your relationship. Because you know, you STPs you really like to mirror because you’re Templars you love to mirror and it’s like, well, if you get to set expectations, I could set expectations. No, you don’t? Nope.
Because the reality of sexual relationships is, is that the person who needs the other the least, is the person who has the most power. And in this day and age, men need women the least I don’t care how I don’t care if you disagree with that, that’s a fact. 32:00 Want to know why? I’ll tell you. Because earlier in life, men need sex, but later in life, they want sex.
earlier in life, women want sex later in life, women need sex. So in the long run, the men are the ones who actually really truly have the power in the long run. And a woman a woman’s beauty is fleeting, and you know, so she has epiphany phase, and she realizes that her looks cannot compete with younger women anymore. All of a sudden, the power dynamic starts to shift in the favor of men, and it will be with men for the rest of her life.
That’s the reality. So STP women, when it comes to your eyes, TJ, just note that you never really actually ever have a leg to stand on when it comes to setting expectations. And the man always does. Because here’s the reality, you are living his life, he is not living yours, when you’re in a long term sexual relationship with a man and this goes for anytime, with any type of woman with any type of man, you should be living his life.
That’s what it means to be a feminine woman, you are living his life, you are part of his life, he is not living yours, you are living his life, he is primary, your secondary. And if you disagree with that, you’re not a feminine woman, you’re just a masculine woman who’d likely end up being a cat mom, or a dog mom one day and die alone, like the rest of 33:21 them you disagree with that? Well, get over yourself. That’s a fact. That’s an absolute fact.
That’s always that’s just always how it’s how it’s gonna be, you know, like, a lot of people just, they can’t accept that. And I get it. You know, we live in a society that where, you know, society enables, you know, women’s ego investments on a consistent basis. And, you know, because of that, like, it’s, it’s really, it’s really frustrating when, you know, a lot of women’s development is so far behind, especially when it comes to relationships, because they, they’re just, they’re taught differently.
They’re taught that, you know, the society that we live in the way we live in it. Now, you know, that they don’t have to, you know, live in a man’s life, then they can, they can actually have men, you know, orbit them and live their life, while those are beta men that they’ll lose respect for anyway. And then they’re just going to divorce them because 78% of all divorces initiated by women in the United States of America. And, you know, with a 55 60% divorce rate, and then you know, those, those 80% of those divorces are initiated by women, you might want to think about that.
And that’s what I tell men to avoid. I also tell women you know, guess what, you know, if you’re not feminine, the more feminine you are as a woman, the more likely you’re going to attract an Alpha Man anyway, a man that you would actually want to be married with a man that you’d be happy to break all of your rules and you have children with and live his life, etc. but you lack the femininity, which is necessary for you to maintain beauty around him. And that’s the problem, you don’t want to find yourself in that situation.
That’s why, for those of you who are in sexual relationships, long term sexual relationships with an ISTJ a committed relationship, guess what, you have to allow them to set expectations. That’s it. That’s how it is period of the story. And meeting those expectations, you meeting those expectations is how you make the ISTJ feel wanted.
Because if you don’t, you will literally be hurting their infants like it would be like the equivalent of stabbing a baby with a knife, you can’t do that. And then that’s just going to cause their demon to come out and absolutely destroy you. Yeah, there, it will be really bad, they’ll start exhibiting insanely risky behavior and taking huge risks. And before you know it, they spent all of your money at the casino, and you’re completely and totally screwed, watch out.
Because from their standpoint, it’s like, oh, well, if if they’re not going to meet my expectations, I’m not going to meet my expectations, either, I’m just going to do whatever I want, because they’re obviously just going to do whatever they want. And they’re not going to like meet my expectations. So fine, I’m just gonna go do whatever I want. And she becomes this demonic mirror that they end up having.
And then they start mirroring you with their INFJ demon, and being all demonic about it, and they will destroy your life, because they will put their freedom above your freedom, and they will take away all of your freedom, you won’t be freedom, because they will spend all of the available choice all the available freedom in your family on themselves, because you’re not meeting their expectations. Wow, congratulations, you played yourself, you understand, don’t do that. Rule five, you know, extra sets a nemesis is very, it’s it worries about its own performance, you know, consistently. And it also worries sometimes that you are not going to be considerate towards them.
So again, more support on the real one, be more considerate, you know, as a result, but the thing is, though, is that like, it’s it’s really important that you know, you show and you demonstrate, not necessarily tell, they need to know that you are capable of responsible actions yourself to the point where it’s like, Hey, I’m going to be responsible for you. But they it’s like an expectation of their responsibility rubbing off on you. So they don’t have to be worried about you harming yourself or creating a dangerous situation over time. Also, they really need you to be respectful of the physical environment.
ISTJ sometimes go out of their way to make like a home’s they’re there, where they live, all these things that they do very, very cozy and very clean. And they need you to keep it as cozy and clean as much as possible. And literally, Rule five is don’t make messes for the ICJ clean up. And I’m not talking just physical messes, like you know, dirtying up their home.
But I mean, like messes in life, like forgetting about paperwork, and then also need to clear your mess by filling out your paperwork. Don’t be irresponsible with money. Don’t be irresponsible with taxes, don’t be irresponsible with anything legal, for example, because it isn’t taken entanglements, show that you actually have the strength of character to be responsible for those things on your own. Yes, you can ask the ICJ for help and they’re happy.
They’re happy to be on your team because they are affiliated. But after a while, they just need to be able to rely on you and rely on you being responsible. Because what happens to the ISTJ, when they’re stuck in the hospital, you see what I’m saying? And you the SP, who’s in a long term relationship with the ISTJ. And you’re irresponsible.
So basically, rule number five is develop your own sense of personal responsibility. Don’t always rely on the IC J’s personal responsibility for you to bail you out all the time, because they will, the day will come where they will need you to bail them out. And they will need you to be to at least learn their responsibilities, skills and take on their responsibilities, skills, so you too, can be responsible. You see what I’m saying? Like they need that they absolutely need that.
And you’re not going to give that to him. So you’re being really spoiled, and you’re being really selfish shouldn’t be really entitled. Even if you’re an FE user doesn’t matter. If you are not going out of your way to be responsible yourself.
Don’t get so caught up and used to the ISTJ being responsible. You have to exhibit personal responsibility yourself. It has to rub off on you and if it doesn’t, how can they trust you? And then it’s just further proof that you’re not really that considerate. them.
And it’s further proof that you’re not meeting their expectations. So why should they be loyal to you in the beginning to begin with. So basically make sure that you learn to be responsible on your own over time. So that their se nemesis, worry is not an issue in your guys’s relationship, it’s a big deal.
Very, very big deal. Um, the next rule is, is that, you know, join with them to solve problems basically help them help them with, with problem solving. Oftentimes, you know, they’re very critical towards what they know. And that’s why they often play it safe and stick to conventional knowledge.
But the only way they’re going to, you know, let go of their comfort zone of being sticking to conventional knowledge, or even trivial knowledge is that you are providing them with useful knowledge to think about and consider, okay, which means you actually need as a partner to do research for them and bring them information for them to look at and to consider, you also have to provide them input not very much, not very often, but a little bit for them to consider. Because sometimes they can be insanely stubborn with their conventional wisdom, conventional knowledge, which always ends up serving to bite them in the ass later. But if you’re going out of your way, to prevent that, you need to basically have the guts to be willing to prove the ISTJ wrong with proper research and proper knowledge and basically test things out yourself. So that way, they see that you’re being responsible with it.
And that way, they’re more comfortable in doing it themselves. They need to keep learning. And yeah, they’re all out there in the soul temple. And 41:45 they’re all about, you know, getting character and having higher character.
The thing is, is that they need to be honest, they need to be telling the truth, they need to make sure that I’m doing the Fit thing of like, Oh, hey, you know, if it seems true, if it’s truthy, that’s good enough for me. And then they play it safe without actually having to spend time in deep contemplation. But if you do most of the contemplation ahead of time and process it for them, then present it to them afterwards, they’ll get a lot more comfortable when it’s actually a way that you can meet their expectations. And it’s a way that you as their lover can actually support them, because you’re providing them with a verified information that’s pre verified, that way, they can actually let go of conventional wisdom, because the thing is, is that the ISTJ oftentimes, judges themselves judges themselves as stupid if they don’t follow conventional wisdom.
Now, that’s usually what happens with ENFP focused ISTJ is, but ESTP focused ISTJ is not as much because they’re a little bit wiser about what they think. But it’s still an issue, it’s still a problem. So be aware of that. So the next the next, the next thing is, they are completely unaware of social conventions.
And it’s really, really important that any, you know, when it comes to anything that has to do a social convention that is completely outside of the realm of the rules, basically, anywhere social rules of social norms, make sure that you tell the ISTJ up front, because if you don’t, they’re going to be embarrassed. And there’s nothing worse than having an embarrassed ISTJ on your hands. You don’t want that. So rule number seven is obvious.
Save your ISTJ from embarrassment also, allow them to save face. And you can do this by pre empting it by being proactive. What an STP a Templar being proactive. No, never happened.
Especially ESPYS. No, especially SFPs. No proactivity What’s that, be proactive, and actually tell the ISTJ Hey, you might be want to be aware of the social convention because you’re going to look bad. Tell the ISTJ ahead of time, if they’re going to look bad, or at a moment when they are starting to look bad.
Get in the way interrupt, stop them, save them, help them save face. If not, they’re not going to feel special. And then they’re going to ours or be loyal to you. Right? And then all of a sudden, it’ll turn into an expectation that a view that they never thought they should have or could have, because you’re helping them save face, you do that for them.
They will be diehard loyal, it also helps them become more responsible with their Extraverted Thinking because then they become aware of other rules and protocol that are socially oriented that way you’re not always you know, for example, married to see Threepio all the time, who you know is basically an artist TJ character. Following all the protocol, etiquette and protocol at Te users do because you’re helping see Threepio understand social etiquette, where Han Solo was like never tell me the odds. Well, you’re basically telling see Threepio your ISTJ Hey, gaslight you probably it’s not appropriate to tell the odds right now. And then the like, oh It got me it will say face because you’ve prevented that from happening.
That’s a huge, huge issue. And the final rule, the final rule is take risks, calculated risks with your ISTJ basically have shared risk with your iCj. iCj is need to learn over time that their path to happiness is actually risk taking, and that need to understand that playing it safe is never the path to success. The problem is, is if they take risks on their own, it will ruin their life and or ruin you, their affiliate if they are interdependent.
So what you need to do is learn how to take risks, but take risks with them. So it’s a shared risky experience. That way, if they go down, you go down that way, if you go down, they go down, it’s a shared risk. And they’re always willing to do shared risk instead of handling risk themselves.
If you force them to take risks on their own, they will just, they’ll just hate you, their team and will hate you, they’re demon will come out. But if you are doing shared risk with them, then they’re more likely to be more endear to you. And it will help them. It’ll help them take risks as even actually help them develop happiness over time, because it’s getting them out of their comfort zone.
And they’re seeing what life really has to offer. It also makes them less boring. So here, here’s the key. If your ISTJ is boring in your sexual relationship with you, guess what? It’s your fault, because you’re not taking calculated shared risk with them.
You’re not going to do new things to them, you’re not figuring out new experiences with them, and introducing them to new things that’s actually on you. It’s not on them. Okay, they’re supposed to be a foundation for you basically, as the SE user, a safe Foundation, a safe space, basically, for you, the safe space is the ISTJ. But if you’re not doing that in your relationship, you’re not adding in some plants, if you’re not making that foundation that safe space nice or adding new things to it or whatever, you’re exposing it to new things.
And that’s your fault. And so in reality of situation, they’re boring because you’re boring. Have you ever thought of that? Have you? So yeah, shared risks take shared risks with your ISTJ to enrich their life it’ll help them become more angelic with their demon development. It will also help them develop via cognitive orbit, their expert intuition inferior and they will be way more open to possibilities and more comfortable with possibilities and comfortable taking risks and they ever have and above all, increases their personal strength as a human being as well as their character.
It is the number one way that you can actually improve them over time. Who wouldn’t want that? What ISTJ wouldn’t want that in a sexual relationship? See what I’m saying folks? is super super important. So anyway, folks, that’s it for this episode. Thanks for watching if you found this episode useful helpful educational enlightening, please leave a like and and also a comment.
We check out all the comments and I hope you’ve been enjoying this season season 26 Eight rules for love and I hope it really serves to benefit your lives especially when it comes to having relationships long term relationships with ice teachers. So thanks for watching and I’ll see you guys tonight my syllabus can leave you 48:31 out