8 Rules For Loving an INTJ | Season 27 | CS Joseph
CS Joseph discusses 8 rules for loving an INTJ.
00:00 Hey what’s up ego hackers? This is the CS Joseph podcast and I’m your host CEUs Joseph, because why not say my name over and over and over again, you know, because, like mind control and propaganda and, you know, gaslighting, right, some of the craziest things that I keep being accused of over and over, I’m just like, No, I’m just the only person you’ve ever met that actually has guts. So that’s not my fault. Maybe, maybe that’s your fault, given the company that you keep, I don’t know. It’s always better to surround oneself with strong people or stronger people in their life.
Because like, especially, you know, if you’re an INFJ, you end up becoming weak if you surround yourself with weak people. So I think everyone should go out of their way to make sure that they’re taking inventory of the people in their life, as it will definitely go a lot better for them, etcetera. So yeah. Eight rules for love, folks.
It’s been an interesting series, and people are just absolutely chomping at the bit and begging me to do the INTJ episode. And I think that’s what we’ll be doing today, the INTJ episode eight rules for love. You know, I do have to say, though, like, before I actually get started on the lecture is that INTJ is are very difficult to love. In the present day and age.
They’re not, they’re not so easy to love. They actually make it very hard. And I think it’s, I think it’s insanely annoying. And I’m not talking just INTJ women, I’m talking just INTJ is regardless of gender.
It’s not like they ever go out. It’s not like they have friends. It’s not like, like, in general, right? You know, it’s like, it’s not like they’re actually, you know, they give you any form of attack surface whatsoever. You see what I’m saying? Like, that way, or interaction surface, I guess is more accurate, because they’re just so hold held up.
Stupid, stupid Siri, like, I literally hate Siri. They’re just so held up in their life. That they don’t even they don’t even realize that how much they’re missing out on how much so much more is left to be experienced in this world. And the world is great.
The earth is rich, and it’s fantastic. And there’s lots of opportunities. The only problem is, is the people well, they hide from people because of Extraverted Feeling trickster, and then it just because they hide that, like INTJ is just end up having zero social skills. And I know somebody and TJs that have great social skills, even better social skills than me.
And I still am just baffled by the fact that a lot of INTJ is out there, men, women doesn’t matter are just absolute social losers, because they can’t keep a conversation to save their life. And they always are making an excuse, oh, I don’t want to have a small talk or whatever. And I’m just like, really? You don’t want to have small talk? No one cares. Like, like, like, it’s so funny.
Like, you see these dating profiles of women. And they’re like, oh, I don’t want to have small talk. And I’m like, that’s just code that’s just a red flag for you being incapable of holding up a conversation, actually. And you don’t really there’s really nothing interesting about you.
And of course, you know, the INTJ wouldn’t be interesting because it’s not like they have any life experience because they’re afraid of life. That’s that’s I don’t know how else better to put it. INTJ is when you combine extroverted sensing inferior with expert feeling trickster, they are literally afraid of life, they are afraid of people. And many times they can’t even admit that they are but they just are because they just there’s just so dumb about it.
They just don’t understand because mo trickster, right. Well, the thing is, though, is that like that leads to INTJ men women doesn’t matter. constantly complaining 04:44 about Well, where’s all the good men going? Where’s all the good women go on? While they’re not 04:49 with you? Because you weren’t even around? You wouldn’t even show up to the restaurant. You wouldn’t even show up to the daycare.
You wouldn’t even show up to the gym. You wouldn’t you just Don’t show up. That’s your problem. You don’t have any opportunities for yourself because you don’t show up.
And that is the problem. Do you folks not understand? That’s the problem. You aren’t, you’re alone, because you don’t show up. Because you constantly want everything now, because of your ESFPs, subconscious desire for instant gratification.
And you INTJ don’t want to put in the work that it takes to actually have a meaningful sexual relationship. It’s the most annoying thing in the world. And then you guys end up becoming these huge hypocrites over it. Because you want to you want it now, you want to take the shortcut every time.
And oh my god, god forbid that you have to do small talk, all losers. You can’t do small talk, it’s because you have nothing interesting to say. And if you don’t have anything interesting to say, it means you can’t even bother to read a book, you can’t even go out. You can’t eat like you’re no offense, you’re, you’re kind of just socially worthless.
Because there’s nothing interesting about you have no life experience. That’s the problem. Okay? Get off your ass. And as Falcon told Winter Soldier, put in the work, seriously put in the work.
You’re not putting in the work. So I’m tired of you. INTJ is complaining about how crap your relationships are, when you guys won’t even invest yourselves into getting one, when he won’t even try. I know this one INTJ he sits on his ass all day, playing video games, has some dead end job and whatnot, and then just ends up having long term relationships with girls that he just sends money to.
And it’s it’s pathetic, he’s pathetic, when in reality, he should just break up with her, and then just go down the street and just go ask out a girl, but he’s so afraid of rejection, you know. And that’s, that’s literally what it is, like INTJ is know that they’re so bad at small talk that they think that the small talk is what’s going to cause people to reject them actually find their pitiful excuse of small talk and their inability to do small talk, actually very endearing and attractive. But you know, they’re constantly comparing themselves to everybody else, right? And then they’re like, Oh, well, I don’t measure up, I don’t measure up. So I’m not gonna bother.
And it’s like, yeah, you’re all triple movement, you want everything right now you don’t want to put in the work, you don’t want to put in the effort. So because of this, it makes it really hard to actually love an INTJ. You know how many times INTJ is men or women that get coaching for me, they get relationship coaching with me. And I tell them, I tell it’s almost every single one, I’m like, go out, take something with you like a book, or your iPad or your phone and do something productive while you sit at a bar.
Or you sit in a physical location and just observe people while you’re being productive. And if you find something, or observe somebody that you might want, go up to them and introduce yourself. It’s not that hard. Doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman, guess what? You’re an NI user.
Therefore, because you’re an NI user, it’s up to you to initiate the relationship interaction. That’s a fact. Do you think I could actually go out there and initiate with girls that being pepper sprayed, let’s be honest, come on. I’m creepy AF.
I’m an intp. That’s just how we are we have se demon. And the only way we can not be creepy is if we literally go out of our ways to go out of our way to put in so much effort and gain so much life experience and so much personal strength in ourselves. That it that our any hero becomes galvanized by our SI inferior effort, si aspirational effort, such that it is impossible for people to not be attracted to us.
But at that point in time, everybody is attracted to us. And then the people that we actually want have either moved on or they’re you know, there wasn’t another thing. So it’s not like I can go up to someone and introduce to them. Everyone has to introduce themselves to me.
And it’s because I put in the work because I go out of my way to be a regular at certain places. Because that’s the thing about se users, especially as user women. And they have anime And they want to choose, but they’re not going to choose unless they’ve spent a little bit of time observing you and observing your character and your integrity and your strength. And the effort that you put in your life and whether or not you’re the Acolytes of those effort.
That’s how it works. Si users is how it works. Any users pay attention, pay attention, you want to get, you want to get members, the opposite sex attracted to you pay attention to yourself, don’t pay attention to anyone else. The girls or the men will come to you provided those girls and those men actually show up.
That’s the thing. See, if people don’t know you, then you’re not on the market. That’s the problem with INTJ is folks, they want all of the benefits of being on the market without the responsibility of being on the market. It’s like, oh, I want to go shopping.
And let’s look at all the girls. Let’s look at all the guys on the sexual marketplace. And I’m going to compare myself to them. How do I measure up to them, or I don’t measure up I’m not I’m not the best, so I’m not going to bother.
Then they miss out. Then they get better with their si demon. And they come whining to me asking me for help. And it’s like, look, put in the work.
That’s literally what I tell them. Go out. Make yourself available. If you don’t have any friends, go make friends.
Making friends is not easy. It’s easy for INTJ men to make friends. All they have to do is start playing Magic the Gathering or chess, or go to a cigar lounge. It’s not hard.
You know, for women go do feminine female things. It’s not hard, right? Yeah, go get your hair done. Just go out in public. That’s all it is.
Folks, just show up. I DJs have it easy if they just show up. Okay, so just show up. It’s not hard.
Just show up. And I have to I have to mention this because it rules for love doesn’t even matter if you’re INTJ won’t show up. If the INTJ won’t show up. You see, they rarely show up.
Like, and then they blame everyone else. Like Siri like what the hell? I’m gonna disable Siri Siri is like most stupidest thing Apple’s ever created. Like, literally the stupidest thing. Like 16 degrees outside, it’s really cold.
Just sitting here in this random parking lot right now. Trying to keep the heat in the car while I’m filming this. Got multiple lectures to film today. So we’ll see how it goes.
Yeah, it rolls for love. INTJ is, you know, provided they actually show up and they are lovable, provided that happens. It rules for love. What is necessary for them? INTJ is, you know, how do you how do you keep an eye on TJ around? You know, how can you be the best lover towards your INTJ if they’re not making it freaking hard for you? Well as situation.
But anyway, you know, as much as like the first rule is all about oh, you know, as ni it’s all about their freedom. It’s all about their choice. And like, yeah, yeah, given them choice, giving them options, that’s important and whatnot, you know, giving them hope that’s, that’s, that’s important too. But really, it’s, it’s actually about giving them space.
It’s really about giving them space, and giving them the opportunity to choose their own space and choose how much time they want to spend with you. It’s really, it’s really about that that’s that’s really the first rule. I kind of I kind of learned that rule actually raising my INTJ son. And it’s just funny because like, there are times where like, you’re like, Okay, it’s time to go to bed, you lay down with him, you know, and you’re trying to like coax him into falling asleep.
And honestly, he just doesn’t want to have anything to do with it. He doesn’t want to have anything to do with it at all. Because it wasn’t his choice. It wasn’t what he wanted.
He will determine where he sleeps on his bed and how many blankets he’s using and and what blankets or where and sometimes he wants to nestle his head in between two pillows. Sometimes he wants to crawl under a pillow. Sometimes he wants to take the blanket sometimes he doesn’t want anything to do with it. And he just wants to sleep with his butt hanging in the air and his head sticking on on the bed.
And then just like being like right there like a little little hedgehog not caring about anything. Right? 14:34 The thing is, though, is that if you smother an INTJ that ain’t gonna work. And that’s the thing like you have to avoid that smother meant you have to allow them space. It literally is what they need space and that space.
It’s like, yeah, it’s freedom. It’s freedom choice, but it’s like the choice to have space I guess. is more accurate, it’s so hard to, to figure out because like, for example, if I were to go up to an INTJ and introduce myself, I’ve just violated their space. You see, I’ve just violated that space I, I took that took that choice away.
And that’s a huge problem. That’s a very huge problem. It’s like, it’s like a major turnoff, especially with like an INTJ. Woman because they’re so solipsistic and very, you know, innately entitled, you know, as women, and because of that, they, they even go out of their way to determine the value of their space, and they value their space a lot more than INTJ men do.
I can’t just go up to one, she’s got to come up to me, that’s just the reality of the situation. So what I end up having to do is drumming up a lot of desirability for me, so that she ends up observing what what the other girls are into me, which then ends up creating more desire in her to actually want to initiate me because she’s observed that I’m like, in demand, basically, it’s a very slow, subtle, annoying process. And I can’t even use my own INTJ shadow to actually go for what I want, per se. But then again, like, it’s funny, like with my own INTJ shadow my life, if I go after women that I think I want, they ended up becoming absolute failures.
And I ended up being way more successful with women that actually just initiate with me, and ended up stating directly that they want me and it’s so interesting being any NTP. But the thing is, is that like, part of the eight rules for love when it comes to INTJ, is specially INTJ. Women, you can’t violate that space, you cannot violate that space, you have to give them room to choose that that’s the rule, that’s rule one. That is that is the first rule, give your INTJ the room to choose.
And that could also include space, they really need space. But the room to choose, it’s because sometimes, you know, it’d become very obvious especially to like an intp, like what nine TJ actually wants. But sometimes you have to sanitize Gambit them and be like, Okay, well, here’s your options, here’s the, here’s the option, I think is the best option, do that, but they’re not going to do it. And sometimes, you know, being a lover of an INTJ, you have to lead by example, and you have to make the choice for them and make the choice for yourself is what I mean, you make the choice for yourself, and then demonstrate that choice to them.
And then they’re okay with doing it. Because then all of a sudden they are they’re able to observe someone else having that experience. The thing is that if you don’t give them that space, or that room for that choice, they’re not going to have anything to do with you. They really aren’t, especially since, you know, the Wiser INTJ is out there figured out that the only way they’re ever going to have a relationship is that they have to risk rejection, and be the one to initiate.
And if you’re not giving them the room to initiate that path that leads to you, then they’re not gonna have anything to do with you. Because remember, you can leave the path open, you got to leave things open. Right. And that’s, that’s literally that’s, that’s another way of saying rule number one, leave things open, leaving things open.
Always leave things open, never never burn the bridge with me, even though I had teachers burn the bridge all the time. Oh, there’s such idiots for doing that. But whatever. It’s not like that.
They want to have a good future. Anything burning Britain like seriously. INTJ is burning bridges means you will have a worse future. I don’t I get that you’re trying to protect your future with your ISFJ demon.
But that’s not actually going to happen. Because people change. If you don’t give people the room to change, you’re going to lose out on even better opportunities later. So just Just please be aware of that.
But yeah, just given them space, leaving room for decision making choices. And like, that’s basically rule one. And I think I think I’ve pretty, pretty well hit this. I mean, like I said, you know, you gotta leave the path and the path open to you.
But then while you’re leaving the path open, you really you’re leaving the path open to you to all these other men or all these other girls at the same time. So you’re kind of forcing the SE inferior to compete with you. It’s super important that you do that. Because here’s the thing an INTJ is going to naturally think and whether or not they’ll admit this or not.
And this is especially true with women, especially truth INTJ women, that if you’re not worth if you’re not worth if you’re not if I don’t have to compete for you, then you’re probably not worth it. That’s the thing. So you really want to make INTJ women compete with you and you know and like this is what I do all the time. Like girls are interested in me I make them I make them compete for me and compete for my attention all all the time.
And the one who treats me the best and gives me the best experience is the one who gives me it who gets my attention. That’s literally how it works. Okay? And it’s so funny because INTJ is will get all pissed off and upset, like, oh, you make me compete with you, you make me but deep down that that’s actually what they want, even though they don’t really, they’ll never admit to it. That’s really what they want.
So rule two is, Rule two is be brutally blunt. Ly honest with them, to the point of stabbing them with your words or hurting them. Don’t be afraid of hurting their feelings, basically, in terms of like telling them the truth. You know, it’s not necessarily like labeling them or using ad hominem.
It’s not about that, like avoid logical fallacies, when you’re being blunt with them. But if you can, like if you’re responsible enough with your logic and your thinking, and you don’t have to, like utilize logical fallacies, just be brutally honest with them, even to the point of allowing yourself to criticize them and their character and their performance because an INTJ, they will feel eventually set up for failure, if you are not being honest with them. Because it’s like, How can I know if I’m performing well for my lover if they’re never going to tell me what’s actually wrong with me or how I actually failed? An intp. If an INTJ doesn’t have criticism, they’re literally going to fall apart in life.
And it’s funny because Andy, Andrea, aka Andy Blaine, aka, I mean, she changes her name every 10 seconds, you know, to avoid scrutiny, but whatever. It’s so funny, because like, she admitted to me recently, that, you know, I’m the only man in her life that she’s ever had a problem with. And I’m like, Oh, that’s great. I love that.
I love that so much. It’s because I’m the only man in her life that ever had the guts to actually truly criticize her and not care if she rejected me after I criticized her because I really don’t care. Like when I criticize a woman, I don’t care if she rejects me or whatever, that a new woman turns 18. Every day a new woman turns 21 Every day, like, it doesn’t matter.
I’m going to criticize them. I’m going to be bluntly, brutally honest with them. And I’m gonna tell them the truth because it’s not like their daddies do something like any other man in this world does. It’s not like anyone they’ve ever encountered, ever does.
So I’m just going to tell them the truth. Because really, it’s my responsibility. It’s my TI parent responsibility to tell them the harsh, raw, unadulterated, painful, stabbing, bleeding truth. And that’s it.
But that’s what an INTJ needs. They can’t improve themselves without criticism. So make sure that you are providing criticism to your INTJ that’s rule number two, provide criticism rule number one, leave things open. Always leave things open.
Rule number two, always provide criticism and avoid logical fallacies. an INTJ is going to pick up on logical fallacy. And if you are stuck in a logical fallacy as a TI user, you dumb and they’re not going to really be interested in you anymore. 23:15 A couple of things, though.
There are a few logical fallacies that I disagree with that aren’t logical fallacies. For example, the anecdotal fallacy it’s only a fallacy if the anecdote is actually a lie. But if the anecdote is actually true, then it’s technically not a fallacy, you might want to realize that, also the slippery slope fallacy I disagree with that file, see, as well, because people who claim slippery slope fallacy are just St. J’s, or SF J’s, they’re just s J’s, they don’t have enough extroverted intuition to see the real consequences of what’s happening.
So slippery slope fallacy, technically has a lot more merit to it. So it depends on what the context it’s being used. And if the context is, you know, hey, here’s some actual real consequences that could happen. It’s not really a fallacy.
So you have to really look at a person’s interest. And it’s so funny to me how i NT J’s will use logical fallacies as a systematic standard of communication without while simultaneously ignoring the interests of the particular parties who are actually having the argument or the debate at that point in time. And it’s really ridiculous that my super ego can see those interests and their ESFP subconscious just completely glosses over it. And it’s because the INTJ is going out of their way to look smart constantly.
It’s like the most annoying thing in the world. Like Rao, like no, you’re not actually that smart. INTJ is no you’re not. You can be if you’d actually like be wise, but you’re not wise most of the time.
So that’s literally the reality like INTJ if you want to be smart, then get some wisdom. Seriously, be wise, but you’re not going to be Be wise, if you don’t have any life experience, and you’re not going to get life experience, if you don’t show up. Seriously, you hypocrites wake up. So beyond that.
So yeah, rule number one, leave things open. Rule number two, always provide harsh criticism towards your INTJ. Even if they feel bad, because here’s the thing, if you’re the only one really criticizing, if you’re the only one really exposing themselves to themselves, you’re the only one who’s actually going to have any value in their life, and they’re always going to keep coming back to you. Like, Andy, I constantly criticize her all the time, and she keeps coming back, she can’t let go of me to save her life.
And you know, that ship sailed. It’s not like, she does not have a chance with me. And for some reason, she still thinks she does, because she still talks to me for some reason. And she should stop doing that, because she don’t got no chance.
Like, I mean, seriously, I’m sure there’s much nicer, much more respectful, much more feminine INTJ than her. So like I you know, so just leave me alone. Stop talking to me and stop talking about me like you want me to go away in your life. And don’t give me any attention.
Really, it’s that simple. Welcome to INTJ shadow, where you feed it with attention, you know what I’m saying. And then the third rule, the third rule, whether FYI, child superiority complex exist, but the third rule, FYI, child, look, you got to understand that FYI, child has a lot of good sympathy, but it also has the uncanny ability of finding really nice principles, ways of doing things and standards, which are super useful in a relationship to the point where like, they can end up creating these systematic principles, which lead to awesome standards, that literally can raise a person’s standard of living, or quality of life, if my child is all about quality of life, and you, as their lover need to learn how to adopt that quality, adopt that quality of life, because they know that those qualities are very important. So rule number three is adopt their quality of life.
Or if their quality of life is lower, you need to work to raise their quality of life work hard to raise that quality of life, it’s super important. It’s because it is it is core to who they are. And if you’re not willing to experiment with their principles, experiment with their little, they’re their personal standards that lead to a higher quality of life, not wanting to test that those standards or those principles that lead to quality of life, they’re not going to have anything to do with you. Because again, it’s like, wow, obviously, Chase thinks that I’m not important.
You know, obviously, like, you see what I’m saying, like, what so when they when they go to the effort to research or read a book, or they start doing certain things, and certainly, it’s because they value them, try out their values, try out what they value, so that you can have a better quality of life. It’s all about quality, quality of life with f5. Child. And if you’re not willing to try it, because here’s the thing, remember, we’re talking about Rule number two, provide criticism, you can try out that quality of life.
And if it doesn’t work out for you, you get to criticize them, which helps them improve. If you don’t do this, you’re setting them up for failure, and then they’re just going to hate you. They’re just gonna get bitter towards you. And you can’t allow that to happen that is very unloving towards an INTJ you can’t do that.
Okay? So be sure to adopt those things in their life. Try them out. If they don’t work, tell them it didn’t work and why. But if it does work out, make it a habit.
Make it part of you. They’re just and that’s how they improve you by improving your quality of life. Let’s be honest, like I dress in all black all the time. You know, I smell like tobacco smoke.
Sometimes I live out of my Subaru right here you are, I’m saying and like, if you go into my home sometimes like literally there’s no furniture like one one of my homes. At one point in time. I had a chair. I had a desk with a computer on it.
And then I had an air mattress. That’s all I had, you know, an INTJ golden pear comes in my life at that moment. Like okay, yeah, we need to raise your quality of life. That’s why they have FYI child.
If my child literally is the ultimate quality inspector. That’s what they do. And that’s how an INTJ will contribute to you in a romantic sexual relationship by increasing your quality of life. That’s what they do, because they’re increasing their own quality of life themselves as wayfarers as treasure hunters gathering up treasure, and then the rest They’re like they’re trying to figure out who to share their treasure with because that treasure is literally quality of life.
And they’re trying to share their quality of life with other people. And they see some, some tough, rugged asshole like myself, who has not very, very high quality of life. And then they come in and they’re like, Oh, hey, oh, hey, Chase, you know, let’s, let’s increase your quality of life. You know, they know I’m brilliant, they know, they know I’m desirable, and you know, a hot commodity where I go, et cetera.
And yet, for some reason, while you know, I have a lot of, I’m able to command a lot of desire and attention, you know, when I’m at the pool hall, playing pool at the bar, and you know, I’m out with my friends and like, girls are coming up to us constantly, the INTJ has watched me, and then the INTJ watches me leave the pool, all of a sudden for me to go inside of my Subaru and not come out. Because they were all sudden realize that I’m sleeping on in my Subaru and they’re like, Oh, dang, this guy, this guy is homeless, he doesn’t have a place to be. And then they come up and introduce themselves because they’re FYI, child, it just, it’s so sympathetic towards, you know, my plight, for example, or the plight of, you know, anyone else potentially, that that all of a sudden, they just want to raise our quality of life. Even some of my male INTJ friends do this for me, which is great.
It’s nice to have them when they would do that. You know, but like, it’s always it’s about quality of life. And then they want to see that you adopt the quality of life or at least try it out. Just try it out.
And if it’s better, let them know and give an offer them praise, praise for that. It’s so important, so important, all about quality of life. Okay. Rule number four.
Do not ever reject your INTJ you know, what’s interesting about INFJs inf J’s actually have an easier time taking rejection than INTJ is because they have their the because inf J’s already sell themselves short with their F fi critic, they already feel like they’re not worth it already. And they are and they have this guilt thing. So it’s easier because of the guilt and because of their lack of self worth. That they can take rejection but FYI, a child is so aware of its self worth.
And sometimes i NT J’s can have that FYI, child superiority complex where they think themselves better than everybody else, so that when they get rejected, it’s a much more painful hit to the ego. You see what I’m saying? Rule number four, do not ever reject your INTJ either say yes, or not yet. Literally, it’s one of the biggest lessons best lessons my father ever actually taught me is like Jace. Don’t reject people just say yes or not yet.
The thing is, is I realized that that really applies to N J’s because he’s an NJ Thank you, dad for giving me that lesson. You know, I always I always give credit to where it’s due dad, even though I have some serious problems with you as a person and your character. Still love you, dad, and still very thankful for what lessons you did confer upon me, I appreciate it. But, you know, 33:11 he would always tell me, you know, like, look, like rejecting people, especially when they’re giving you something, especially when they’re doing something for you.
It’s horrible. It’s a horrible experience for them. So we’d like to say yes, or not yet. And honestly, guys, that literally is Rule Four, say yes, or not yet.
Don’t reject the INTJ it’s, it’s dumb. You know, like, I and I don’t like INTJ as they come up to me, I don’t reject them. I don’t I don’t sometimes, you know, they message me like, like I you know, I say yesterday because like, like even like even telling like because it’s so painful for like Fe child to like see like for example some INTJ girl because it to me the bar she’s like, Hey, you know and she doesn’t come to the bar very often. It’s like it’s like a first time in like six months and all sudden, she’s decided that she wanted me in the she wanted to introduce herself to me, you know, Far be it for my Fe child to reject her at that particular moment.
You see what I’m saying? Cuz, you know, it’s something that’s really different. And you know, this is again, this is si inferior being easily obligated, I’ll, you know, I’ll say. And it’s better to say yes, or not yet. It really, really is better to say that, but the thing is, is that you could argue that’s like, insanely manipulative, but the thing is, is that if I’m in a sexual relationship with an INTJ, I absolutely have to do that.
Whereas, like, if I’m not in a sexual relationship with INTJ, I should be like, Yo, I’m married. By, you know, which happens a lot. You know, especially like, especially like, when you see just the people, the people and it’s not in it’s not just here, where I’m at right now in the Rocky Mountains. It’s, it’s actually like, it’s all over the place.
It’s everywhere. You know, and like I said, these ions TJs they just want their fast shortcuts. And they just want they just instant gratification because it’s like, from their perspective, I want I actually chose I wanted you, and now I can’t have you. I mean, even Andy said that to me, she’s like, but I decided that I wanted you.
And now, I can’t have you. But because it’s so rare for me to decide that I actually want somebody, you know, that means I’m more entitled than because i that means I want you more than anyone else. And that means I should have you because I want you more than anyone else. And it’s like, no, no, God, no, that’s not how life works.
No, no. You know, it’s just like, you know, in the case of like, Andy and I, for example, and I know, I talk about her a lot, but she is just the typical, a typical example. I’m sorry, if you guys getting bored of me using her as an example, over and over and over again. But it’s just, she’s just so a typical, I can’t get away from it.
There’s a few other ion teachers out there. But they’re, they’ve never treated me as horribly as she has either, you know? And they’re like, Oh, well, I want you the most I mean, at least they’re there, FYI, child. Support superiority complex is not as bad, you know, and they’re really able to stomach that rejection more often. You see what I’m saying? And like, and sometimes rejection is necessary for an INTJ in relationships, because the only cure for fear of rejection is rejection, right? So it isn’t necessary.
But the point is, folks is that, like, just realize that what I’m saying is, it’s really important that if you are in a sexual relationship, or if an INTJ is demonstrating that they have romantic interest, and this is goes for men or women, and I don’t talk about when but I’m a guy that get over it like, but for men or women just don’t don’t reject them say yes or not yet. Okay, that’s it, and then explain your reasoning. And just be honest about it. Be honest.
Like, like, oh, I had an INTJ asked me out at the supermarket a couple of days ago. And, and I’m like, and she was cool, and all and I’m like, look, look, this isn’t gonna work, because I’m married. Like, sorry, I’m married right now. It’s not gonna work, you know? And she’s like, well, what if you weren’t married, and I’m like, Well, if I weren’t married, Sure, I’d be open to it, you know, again, keeping things open, etc.
But I’m married right now. So it’s not going to work out, you know, and she got all upset that she, she was taught and embarrassed that she talked, you know, to a, you know, to a married man, all the more reason to fall number two folks and make sure that you are offering up criticism, accurate criticism to your INTJ, because criticizing them saves them from embarrassment, because te parent doesn’t want to be embarrassed. Okay, criticism solves embarrassment for INTJ days, and they appreciate it so much that they’re able to show gratitude. And when they show gratitude, they just increase your quality of life.
Right? That’s how you also can. And by the way, like, you know, you have a great INTJ on your hands, if they are increasing your quality of life, every INTJ that I have, dated, gosh, been on a date with or been interested in, in the last five years, think five years. All of them. None of these people, none of these women have actually increased my quality of life.
Not one. That’s how I know they’re all They’re terrible. That’s how I know they’re terrible. And some of the times like, I remember one of them, tried to get me to be like a vegan and whatnot.
And I tried it out and it just completely screwed my health up as a result. And then I criticize them for and they weren’t even willing to listen to that they weren’t even willing to listen to criticism about it. And I’m like, okay, whatever, it’s fine. You know, I learned my lesson, not following that advice anymore.
But again, what was the net gain? There was no get in that game. There was no increase in quality of life. There really wasn’t. You see what I’m saying, folks? And you have to have that.
You have to have that increase. It’s getting cold near so so just just understand, say yes, or not yet. It’s a really, really big deal. You know, and rejection, there’s so sensitive rejection that the most sensitive or rejection out of all the 16 types, you really really got to be careful.
And I think this is why en TPS, for example, have you know, are often accused of leading people on and No, it’s because the NTPs just don’t like rejecting people. We’re not built for rejecting people. We’re not supposed to reject people. For the most part.
The thing is, is that it can become extremely unhealthy for us if we don’t reject people. Will and we have to allow our se demon the room in the space to reject people when it when it when it’s beat when it becomes necessary. And oftentimes we can’t even see it’s necessary until it’s too late. And that’s how things can get really bad for en TPS, you know, as a result, but naturally, especially mass, male en TPS, we really just don’t really reject people that much female en TPS do more often than male wants to it’s because they don’t have masculine idealism.
They have solipsism, that’s why. So you know, psychologically, there’s a difference there when it comes to their sex. Now, moving on, what is the fifth? What is the fifth rule? And the fifth rule is, so yeah, it’s like, say I keep things open, it’s rule number one, offer accurate criticism harsh or brutal if need be. Try out their principles and their standards to increase your quality of life.
And do not reject the INTJ. Those the first four rules, the rule number five is always share. What you’re going to do before you do it with the INTJ. INTJ is really don’t like surprises.
And it’s so funny because they it’s kind of interesting that they don’t like surprises. So avoid surprises. That’s like Rule five, avoid surprises, tell them, tell them what you’re going to do before you do it. They really need that.
It really shows loyalty to them. But it also eliminates their paranoia and their worry. And it just just tell them what you’re going to do before you do it and then do it and, and you can deviate every now. And then I mean, it’s fine.
I mean, they’re golden pair is a starter type, you know what I’m saying? They’re all over the place. I’m all over the place. But at least give them a general idea of what you’re going to do before you do it that way. There.
They have no paranoia, because honestly, I NT j’s are extremely possessive. Especially INTJ. Men, oh my God, they are so possessive. And they are so jealous.
INTJ men are so jealous. And you think the INTJ women are bad? No, the men are worse. The men are way worse in every way, in terms of jealousy and possessiveness. It is ridiculous how far they will go.
And 42:23 but in order to, you know, not have to deal with that jealousy, just tell them what you’re going to do before you do it and just be consistent. That’s all. They just need consistent. You know, it’s part of following rule four, just don’t reject the INTJ.
You could argue that’s consistency. But now that’s kind of more primary to an INFJ. But yeah, like literally Rule five, it’s pretty simple. Just tell them what you’re going to do before you do it.
That way. They’re not scared, because they’ll get scared, they’ll get very scared. And they’ll get really paranoid. And because from their standpoint, is that like they’re willing to betray people they are.
And because of their willingness to betray other people, they imagined to themselves that other people are willing to betray them. And you have to prove to them constantly, that you’re loyal, and that you’re sticking around, you’re not rejecting them for real for, but at the same time, you also are telling them what you’re going to do before you do it. And it’s really easy for si users to do that sometimes. But sometimes it’s not, you know, and like, this is one of the reasons why INTJ women end up with intp men because that si child is just going to overshare that information of what they’re going to do before they do it by default.
And they don’t have that paranoia issue. Whereas with an intp they’re so quick. They’re so they’re moving so fast, and they start new things constantly. It’s usually hard for an INTJ to keep up with the E and TP mail.
And because it’s hard for them to keep up well. It increases their paranoia, and this is oftentimes why INTJ is just ended up breaking up with en TPS because they just can’t handle the whiplash. They can’t they can’t keep up. They literally can’t keep up.
And they they’re like, wait a minute, I’m triple movement. I’m triple progression. I’m the fastest mother effer out there. Yeah, I can’t keep up with this en TP What the hell was wrong with me? Maybe maybe the en TPS is the problem and I’m gonna go breakup with them.
And then 10 years later, they’re still regretting that choice. Oh, gosh, Sweet Revenge. Love that. Because there’s because I saw this one INTJ this one time and she was so fine.
She was very fine. And and we we we hit it off. It was a fantastic relationship. I enjoyed it.
Every moment of her and then randomly, randomly, she comes out of nowhere. Okay, I’m breaking up with you. Bye. Like, okay, well, clearly I wasn’t wanted enough by.
So I moved on. And then over the years she’d call me or you Email me text me trying to find out if I was available again trying to find out if like she could have me again. And I just tell her no, you took off door closed. Sorry.
Sorry, especially since like, she ended up having children with many different men, she’s got lots of baby daddies. And I’m like, You really think I’m gonna want to be in a relationship with you? And you have many baby daddies? No, that’s not gonna work. But what I could have done to help that relationship is just be more vocal about what I was going to do before I did it. Because I think I think what happened is that she ended up jumping to the wrong conclusion, felt set up for failure, because I didn’t communicate everything with her.
And that’s that’s really all on INTJ wants is to have somebody share everything with them. Because if they’re going to share their treasure, they relay it to them. That’s like they’re sharing everything. And they want someone else to share with them everything.
It’s like, it’s a really, really big deal to them. So make sure you guys are doing that. And when I you know, and when I was in relation with the INTJ, I do share everything with them. The thing is, though, is that if we have a painful history, I’ll hold back and then they have to deal with the fact that it’s just this cat and mouse game.
But if they’re able to catch the mouse me, then 46:20 then yeah, sure. I’ll you know, yeah, sure, I’ll share. But good luck. Good luck catching me.
Good luck, isn’t it so interesting how it’s like this cat and mouse game, this 46:31 CO katri thing that INTJ is really get off on they like being the cat they like being the chaser an INTJ is literally our cat, they behave just like cats, like the men to like that FYI, child superiority complex, you know, the I want it now thing, do whatever I want to get it, we’ll even get to the point where they just start knocking jars or cups and breaking glass off of your counter, when they’re pissed at you. That type of thing. You know what I’m saying? Like, they behave like cats. And yeah, I’m the mouse and they have to chase the mouse, you see what I’m saying? And they just end up falling in love with the chase more so with the mouse.
And that’s another issue, I really struggle with INTJ days, especially since I’ve tried to put me the mouse on their little trial period. And I’m like, Okay, this trial period is taking too long. So I’m going to go over to that woman over there away from you while you’re handling your little trial period, because you little trial period is not it has no interest. They’re like, Oh, but Chase, you need to be patient, you need to be patient and just wait and like, No, I’m not waiting.
No, I can have sex with somebody tomorrow. So I’m going to I can have sex with someone tonight. And four hours time, I could be balls deep and another woman. So I’m going to you can have your little trial period.
And when you’re done, you can talk to me, but I’m gonna go see this other ISFP girl over here. Bye, bye. You see what I’m saying? Like, these little trial periods that INTJ has have, they just end up taking away opportunities from themselves. But you want to deal you want to make sure that you don’t have a trial period, guess what, follow Rule five, tell the INTJ what you’re going to do before you do it, it’s really easy.
And it solves a lot of problems, it gets rid of a lot of their worry, it’s a big deal. It’s a really big deal. Give them a heads up, because when you give them a heads up, they feel like they’re part of your little world. They feel like you know, you know I wear a mask, I mean to wear a mask, right? But then they get to feel like they’re behind the mask with you.
Okay, that’s what Rule five does, it gives them that feeling. And they need that feeling. Okay, so do it. Okay.
Rule number six, oh, my god, ti critic. Oh my god, especially when it’s senile. And it’s like, I know all these things. I know this, I know that.
Like, look, you have to be really strategic with how you handle ti critic. So basically, choose you have to be you have to pick your battles in such a way where you’re like, choose when not to listen to them. That’s kind of what the rule is. But basically like INTJ is often think things that are very inaccurate, and they go out of their way to try to make something become true, even though it’s not.
And you just have to stand your ground with what you know is true. Literally stand your ground, because that’s the only way they’re going to get smarter. So yeah, rule six stand your ground. When it comes to your thinking versus their thinking, you have to stand your ground because if you don’t stand your ground, not only not only will it make them less intelligent, because you’re not standing your ground, they’ll end up failing and then they’ll feel like you didn’t stand your ground.
So you set me up for failure and then they’ll blame you for it. It’s hilarious. So literally just stand your ground when it comes to what you think that’s a big deal. But also like, make sure you listen to them because As it’s.
So just because you’re standing your ground doesn’t mean that you just automatically dismiss them or disagree with them, okay? standing your ground means like, you’re going to listen to them and you’re going to consider their input, you’re going to consider what they’re saying. But that doesn’t mean you have to make the decision. Okay? an INTJ, especially an INTJ woman does not want somebody who just takes what they say at face value. Okay? So I guess that’s a better way of saying rule six, never take what an INTJ says at face value, trust what they’re saying.
But always verify Trust, but verify, stand your ground with trust, but verify it’s a really, really big deal for INTJ to do that, because if you don’t, they’ll end up becoming less intelligent, because you can’t be too agreeable with an INTJ. Because if you agree with them too much, they’re not going to respect you. And the reason why is because they’re going to feel set up for failure, because they feel like they’re feeling because you’re just basically a Yes, man. And that’s all rule number six is don’t be a yes, man.
You know, like the INTJ is, in my life, men and women, talk to me consistently, because I’m not a yes, man, because I challenge them, even sometimes to the point of embarrassing them if I have to, because there’s no other way to get them to listen, okay? Because ti critic has a very hard time listening to anybody. But it can as long as you are standing your ground, and you do not take what they say at face value, and you are trusting what they say. But verifying just in case, you have to do that. Because no INTJ wants to be the person who does all of the thinking in the relationship, especially an INTJ woman, oh my god, they can’t stand it.
And that’s the problem. They have such a huge problem with men these days, because men expect the woman to do all of the thinking and all the financing and all the bla bla bla bla bla, okay, that’s a thing that can happen, right? But then again, the INTJ woman can’t not get enough of those guys anyway, because they’re the ones who typically have the Alpha traits. You see what I’m saying? Like, it’s hilarious to me. Oh, my God, they’re so high Pergamus.
So yeah, don’t do that. Alright, rule number seven. It’s basically help them handle social situations. But it’s more of whenever you enter into a social situation with your INTJ, you want to make sure that you tell them your plan.
Okay. So it’s like, it’s like you’re playing chess, but with people, okay. And so like, whenever you go into a social, so Okay, here’s the thing. Every INTJ has their own social bubble, their SES plus Fe bubble.
And they are they have their and within this social bubble, these are all the people that they’re willing to be social with. And those are people that, that they have chosen to be social with. But when you’re taking an INTJ out in public, especially an INTJ, woman, but even as an INTJ, man, this is really important. If you are going to bring them around people that they don’t even know that or not technically, in their social bubble, they’re gonna freak out, that’s gonna be a huge problem.
So what you got to do is that you have to have a conversation with them ahead of time be like, okay, hey, we might meet these people, you don’t know them, you might see this person, you don’t know them. This is what this person is like, this is what this person is like. And you have to give them the lowdown on everything. Okay? Because, and then, and then you’re going to tell them what the plan is.
Okay? So, and if this person shows up, we’re going to leave, if this person shows up, this is great. This is who we want to be there. And I’m going to introduce you to them, you got to walk the INTJ through the whole thing, you got to make the social plan, like as an intp as the golden pair of the INTJ. It is my job to make the social plan, I’m going to tell my INTJ woman, what the social plan is ahead of time, who’s going to be there who we’re going to avoid.
And always every one of my social plans that I present to my INTJ woman always includes a Get the hell out plan. It’s our escape plan, what is our plan of escape, okay, if something bad happens, or if there’s an emergency, or if these people show up that we don’t like, how are we going to escape? What excuse are we going to use? What? What diversion is there? All of that has to be discussed ahead of time. You know, it’s like, you know, it’s like, yeah, it’s not the same exact rules the FE trickster that you would have for the ISTJ it’s completely different for an INTJ it’s more of battle plans of social battle plans, social battle planning, what do we do when we’re in social combat? What do we do okay, because that’s how INTJ is view social interactions they view as competition or they view it as combat, basically. And you given them overload down your job as your lover of your INTJ to be their spy, their intel, their source of Intel, you got to give them the Intel ahead of time.
So they can handle the social situation, because they don’t want to go into a social situation blind. That’s one of the reasons why they’re not they don’t even show up so that they see you to ask you out to have a relationship, right? Okay. That’s the thing about E and TPS, for example, like their gold parents like, guys, and girls, you need to leave yourself open. Okay, you want an INTJ, leave yourself, open it J’s show up, that’s all you have to do.
So if I, if the intp is listening to my advice, and they show up, and they they leave themselves open, and then the INTJ, they shows up, and then they’re very deliberate and specific about what they want, and they actually act on it. Great. Relationships can happen. And people often will have their golden pairs, and then like, they could potentially be happy and have really affectionate relationships.
Oh, my God. Here’s the thing, like, rule seven, you have got to give them that social battle plan without that social battle plan, they will fall apart. Okay. And then again, they’ll blame you for setting them up for failure.
God, I fucking hate how they do that all the time. Oh, my god. It’s so frustrating. Anyway, like, just just be aware of that.
You don’t want to set them up for failure in that way. It’s a recurring theme. They they’re, they’re so afraid of failure. That’s because they see rejection is proof of them being affected.
That’s how you get to avoid rejection. But yeah, like, literally walk them through the social battle plan ahead of time, 56:50 they need to know give them the Intel, all right. And then the final rule, and probably the most important other than the rejection one. They’re all really important.
But you know what, sometimes INTJ is just don’t have any clue what they need. And they really need their lover to help them identify what it is they actually need. And it is our job to give them what they need. Even if they don’t know that they need it, and get them that need and help fulfill that need.
INTJ is have a really hard time sleeping, help them sleep. Okay? Help them sleep. All right, they have a hard time solving their own problems help solve the problems, okay? Give them some advice, just find what it is they need. It could be a tool, it could be a food, it could be a supplement.
Because obviously you as their lover, likely you’re an SI user, you’re taking care of your needs. Why aren’t you sharing? Okay, that’s what rule number eight is all about. share everything with your INTJ, share, share, share, share, because through sharing, they will for the first time in their life, actually be able to meet their needs. That’s what they need.
And that’s how you help them. That’s how they feel love folks. Share. You’re an SI user, it’s your job to share, just like it’s an NI users job to ask.
It’s your job to share. So share everything with them. They’re sharing their treasure with you. They’re sharing a better quality of life with you, why aren’t you sharing share with them what supplements you take and why.
share with them your your system that you have or your method that you have for falling asleep. And how you do it, just share with them. That’s all they want. That’s what they need.
They need they need, they can’t meet their own needs. No, i and j can meet their own needs. So share with them. It’s that simple.
It’s that simple. Don’t get me wrong folks, like the INTJ is in my life, especially the ones that I’ve had sexual relationships with. I love them all dearly. And I have shared with them constantly.
You know, sometimes they get super disrespectful, and I don’t talk to them for years, you know, because they can get that way. But the reality of the situation is it’s still my responsibility to share, because by sharing, they all of a sudden are seeing how I’m meeting my own needs. And then they can meet their own needs for once, or at least I can help meet their needs. You see what I’m saying? They can’t do it on their own.
They’ve been on their own their whole life, their triple pragmatic, of course, they’re going to be on their own and be on their own their whole life. But that’s just how they work, folks, they need that. So go out of your way to help meet that need share so that they can have their needs met too. It’s not all about you, right? As much as we can always say easily to FYI, child superiority complex.
It’s not about you either. Because they’re all about what their wants, but they don’t know how to meet their needs and it’s their biggest weakness and honestly, look, if you’re a lover, if you’re an INTJ is lover, and you don’t share You are literally condemning them to an early death. Seriously, you are condemning them, you’re you’re condemning your INTJ to a shorter lifespan, because you’re not sharing. Don’t be that guy.
Don’t be that woman. Okay? Seriously, don’t don’t be that person. INTJ is a super rare and they feel so alone all the time, mostly because they bring it on themselves. But like, they don’t want to feel lonely while in a sexual relationship with someone.
And they often do. And he’s a great example. She told me stories about relationships with men that she’d have all the time, and she’d have sex with them. And then she’s like, but you could tell she was so lonely anyway, because none of these men were actually willing to share anything with her.
And that’s, and that’s why, you know, then then as an INFJ, you know, she gets gaslit and she starts gaslighting herself. And that doesn’t allow herself to be in a relationship with other men, or anyone for that matter. Because she doesn’t want to still feel lonely while still in a relationship. That’s, that’s really what it comes down to.
It’s all about sharing folks. So important, that demon just cannot meet its own needs. All it knows is that it has needs, it just has no idea what they are, or how to even meet them. Okay, show some love.
And just share it’s not hard. They’re already working to improve your quality of life. They’re already sharing their treasure with you. Why are you sharing? God, it’s so annoying.
So annoying. By the way, pro tip for the golden pair, the INTJ is or for also their companion relationships. So for enps Be careful who you share with don’t share with just anybody. If you want INTJ in your life, they need to know that, like, Hey, you don’t share with just anyone and that they’re extra special because you decided to share with them.
That’s a reality. Okay, make sure you do that. I love INTJ days. That’s why I’m so hard on them.
I love them all. All the men and the women in my life that are INTJ I absolutely love my golden pair, the the affection relationship, I absolutely love it. But the society is so anti INTJ it’s ridiculous. And I just feel bad for them sometimes.
To the point where it’s just like, you know, I can’t help but share it because they’re all struggling and they’re also very lonely. Yes, they can bring that lonely on themselves on themselves. And actually, they probably do it 80% of the time. But the thing is, there’s nothing worse.
I would rather be lonely in relationship less than be in a relationship and feel lonely. Because that’s a far worse hell. A far worse hell. And honestly, that’s probably and this is conjecture.
It’s probably an INTJ is worse fear, especially an INTJ woman, given how vulnerable they have to be in a relationship. And given all the risks that they have to take on in a relationship. That’s probably their biggest fear. So, men, if you have an INTJ girlfriend, you might or wife, you might want to pay attention to this.
Please. Okay. You know, I do this content for them. After all.
People think I do this content for men or I do it for myself or whatever. No, I do it for the women. And I do it for the children that they will that they will bear and so that those children aren’t fatherless. So I love you all.
And I love you all so dearly. You have no idea. I love you enough to tell you the truth to your face and embarrass you and criticize you and hold you accountable because no one else has the guts to do it. It is what it is.
So anyway folks, thanks for watching and I’ll see you guys tonight you stolen silver so can you purchase. Building Strong