8 Rules For Loving an INFJ | Season 27 | CS Joseph
CS Joseph discusses 8 rules for loving an INFJ.
00:00 Hey what’s up ego hackers. This is April’s for love podcast I’m your host I’ll come back to one of my favorite filming spots 00:39 INFJ is eight rules for loving inf J’s I just say that love inf J’s love them a lot and always seem to love me though. But I really do love them they’re my companion type after all the companion relationship also known as the pedagogue relationship I had sexual compatibility with my type the intp and you know, it’s fantastic. Every time I’ve been with an INFJ it’s always been always been pretty good, great experience memorable.
What is it memorable is their knack for being depressed AF s not memorable, as proud. Let’s take this off, might be a little bit easier to hear me we’ll take that off 01:53 so INFJs INFJs, just like any of the 16 types can actually be, let’s say difficult to love, they can be they can be difficult to love, just like any 16 types can be difficult to love. But why INFJs specifically. We haven’t really talked about it a lot, but it’s kind of gonna be like a rerelease of the virtues and the vices may actually be the next season we’re going to be talking about during the members area.
Actually, I think it will be but 02:44 the deadly sins, you know, and the deadly sins in some ways can make people not very lovable and in other ways can make them very helpful when it comes to sexual relationships. Although the deadly sin the INFJs hold makes it really difficult for them for people to love them ultimately. It’s not really as big of a deal like for men though. But it is a big deal for women 03:16 dang lost it not expecting it to go out so dang.
Because it’s just one of those days and I do a good enough job lightning I don’t 03:30 know that’s intense. Well, too much there. Try to keep it going. It’s time to keep rewriting.
Try not to burn myself in the process too, that might that might be effective. So the deadly sin, the deadly sin of the INFJ. Well, it’s lost. And let’s be honest, INFJ women of all the types end up having the absolute highest number of sexual partners out of all the 16 types.
This is especially biblically exemplified in the book of Hosea because I maintain that Gomer, the wife of the prophet Hosea was an INFJ and she used to be a prostitute. And she felt so bad about herself because of her. FYI critic. Like she never actually believed that she was worth Ciara believed that she was worth being considered or labeled marriage material.
So she had never really actually invested very much much in that direction. And even during the story in the book of Hosea, she gives up on herself with her ePHI critic, and ends up leaving her husband who is the man of God, who is the zenith of society itself. Basically, he is the top dog in society because he is the prophet of God. And as the prophet of God, he had a lot of opportunities, etc.
But then God came up to him and said, hey, you need to go take up some for wife, because right now my woman is being a whore. And that’s the thing about God’s prophets, he always has his prophets suffer in the same way that he suffers, because who’s through that shared pain, that’s how these prophets can actually have their relationship with God, and suffering the same way, basically. So that’s all it really was a shared suffering. And that’s really important.
Having that, that shared suffering, basically. And a lot of people just don’t really realize that, that that’s kind of how prophets work. If you ever hear someone claimed to be a prophet, check their suffering, because if they’re not suffering, they’re not a profit. That’s how you know, that’s, that’s that that is the number one sign.
If they’re in pain, if they are suffering, then it’s more likely that they are a profit. But if they’re like, you know, like, Jesse, Jesse blackice, or, I don’t know, Paul Crouch, or Kenneth Copeland, or TD Jakes or Creflo Dollar, if any of those people don’t know profit, and they’re just fraud. Want to pay attention to that? It’s really important. So the prophet Hosea ends up taking up his INFJ horror of a wife named Gomer, the INFJ.
And this, in my opinion, is the greatest love story in the Bible. Hosea, he’s an intp. He’s the Prophet. He’s got his poor wife.
He has children with her. But somewhere along the way, she starts having doubts, doubts that the prophet of God would actually still actually loves her. She’s like, I’m not worth it at this. So then she leaves, she leaves, and she sells herself back to her pimp, and starts holding again.
Goes back to her John’s. And that’s it. This is what my life is all about. I’m not worth I’m not worth the prophet of God, I’m not worth being a mother.
I’m not worth anything. I’m just a skank. I’m just trash basically. And Gomer ends up having this attitude.
And it causes her to leave her NTP husband, the Prophet, well, the prophet ends up working really hard for an entire year, and he takes an entire year’s worth of wages and goes to her pimp. And they’re kind of like slave owners in those days. And he buys his INFJ, horrible wife back from, from her pin, literally buys her back. And I’m just like, I’m just astounded by this, literally, by so bad.
You know, this is one of the areas that I completely disagree with the red pill community because the red pill community is constantly downplaying masculine idealism, or also the male capacity for love. Because men are the true romantic men, women are built to receive love. Women don’t really show love like men knew. This is why technically, it’s also true that no one woman could actually satisfy one man completely by herself.
technically impossible. It’s not biologically possible. This is one of the psychological reasons as to why it’s not possible. But you know, who can accept that right? Who actually can not very many people.
Some of the most frustrating things about it, he asked me. So the profit gets his years wages, he buys her back and he goes to her and he tells her like, Listen, you know, you’re my wife, you’re going to stay here, you’re going to be my wife, you’re going to act like my wife. You’re not going to be a hoe anymore. You’re not going to be whoring around.
You’re just going to have to plain except that I love you. And that’s it. You know, it’s kind of interesting about that because I think it’s like features chapter five or something like that. Or maybe it’s first Corinthians chapter 13 in the New Testament Paul’s like the apostle Paul, and I’m not a fan of the apostle Paul, don’t get me wrong, I’m really not a fan of him.
I don’t really like the guy that much. I think he’s a NTJ serial killer. But he makes some good points in his letters, let’s be honest. So Paul says, you know, the bridegroom will present his bride to himself without staining or blemish.
What does that mean? It basically means the bridegroom is forgiving. The woman is going to become his wife for being a total hoe. Being hypergamy is and having a dualistic pluralistic sexual strategy, where at certain times of a woman’s life, she values Alpha seed, and other times where live she values beta need. This is why we have the male bit burden of performance.
So men learn how to produce both simultaneously for their women in their lives, basically. A lot of people deny that this is a thing and I don’t know why people think that you know, telling a woman that she’s hypergamy is is sexist or misogynistic, when in reality, it’s actually just allowing her to be who she is. I thought I just don’t understand and help people in their bullshit criticisms, especially me. I’m not some red pill author.
I’m not even a red pill content creator. And I actually have a lot of problems with the red pill because like, for example, the red pill doesn’t give masculine idealism its do. It doesn’t allow masculine and idealism to be okay. This is what I find really frustrating.
The red pill also heavily overemphasizes Alpha traits, which I think while important is not the end all be all. And as Neil Strauss said, at the end of the book, the game as he basically predicted. It’s getting to a point where the pickup artist, culture within society has gotten so out of control. That men lack the social skills for masculine feminine sexual relationships, basic default ones, well, it’s so different for the women don’t get me wrong, and honestly, women are probably way worse than men are.
And that’s that’s just a fact, especially since how society enables female solipsism. But society takes advantage of masculine idealism. And that’s why men are just so hyper focused on you know, providing beta traits instead of the Alfa traits, which so few men can actually do, especially in this day and age, especially with this toxic society. I mean, hey, even Hosea had to get one year’s wages for his INFJ wife to prove to her that he loved her.
You know, folks, there’s a lot of lessons we can learn from Hosea. And quite frankly, 12 rules for loving inf J’s is built upon Jose is example, an NTP. He wasn’t even highest compatibility with her. He wasn’t even an NFP.
He’s an NTP. Isn’t that fascinating. And it’s the NTP that ends up having full understanding of the eight rules for love when it comes to the INFJ. 13:31 I love INFJs.
So the INFJ men in my life, I’m really happy they’re there. One of them, destroyed all of my ego investments, before eventually becoming sexually attracted to me and tried to get me to have a sexual relationship with him. And I said, No. But at least you saved my life.
He saved me from myself. He saved me from my evil, and wrong, incorrect and accurate ego investments, I’m so thankful for him. I also appreciate the other INFJ men in my life that have been right or die. I also appreciate the INFJ men in my life who have betrayed me even because betrayals led to valuable lessons.
Although I hope I’m not betrayed in the future. Even some INFJs closest to me have always told me to my face Chase, I can’t guarantee that I won’t betrayed but at least you know, I can respect that because they’re honest about it. 14:33 See that kind of honesty that just just doesn’t exist. It’s not really something that’s often found in society.
And I love that about INFJs how they have that honesty. I know it’s an incredibly long intro, folks, but bear with me. The example Jose is extremely important, especially when you’re dealing with FYI critic. So what is the first rule, the first rule applies to an AI hero.
And I hear it was all about what it wants, it’s all about what it desires. The thing is, though, is that when it comes to INFJs, because of how external they are, they’re the most externally focused of the introverts. They literally want anything and everything. They literally want everything.
Everything. They literally are no limits, they’re all about no limits, no limits is everything to them. And when it comes to having a sexual relationship, or loving an INFJ, that is effectively rule number one, no limits. Do not limit them in any way, shape, or form.
You know, with INFJs, it’s more about giving them space to make decisions, whatnot, both the INFJ because they’re affiliative. Because they’re Templars, they usually end up living in a box, they prefer to live in a box, they want to be in a box, because the box has boundaries of boxes rules, they want to know what the boundaries and the rules are. So they don’t violate those boundaries. And potentially put themselves at risk.
You don’t want that risk at all. Because it’s dangerous, that kind of risk is dangerous. Not that risk can lead to a lot of problems. No Limits.
Here’s the thing, though. They put themselves in a box. But when it comes to their relationship, while they want to understand what your boundaries and your expectations are, oftentimes all the time and how important that is to them. Well, the thing about it, is that when it comes to their relationship with their significant other, it’s the one time in their life where they don’t want to have any limitation, they just don’t want to have any limitation whatsoever.
Like especially in the bedroom, they want to be able to try they want to, they want you to the point where you’re comfortable enough where they can try just about anything on you, you’re just gonna have to get to that point, like seriously, like absolute level of No Limits that I’m talking to, that I’m talking about. So the first rule is really no limits. Because eventually, like INFJs, they get so affiliative. But when it comes to their sexual relationships, they want to actually use their ESTP subconscious and actually experience true freedom of expression, through you know, set the structure, even when it comes, especially to the bedroom, but like, literally, it’s all about no limits.
And they need to understand like, and you have to express no limits to them in such a way to where you yourself have to make sure that you’re not really putting very limits on you because they need to mirror your behavior, okay? Because an INFJ will naturally limit themselves if you’re limiting yourself, basically. And that can be a huge problem. If you’re limiting yourself in your way and you’re in your comfort zone, they’re gonna get stuck in your comfort zone with you. And then eventually they’re not gonna they’re their shadow is gonna feel unfulfilled, they’re Sid was gonna freak out.
And it’s really, really going to be bad. You need to be prepared to make sure that you live in a No Limits way to the point. Like for example, if you’re an SI user, man, and you’re in a sexual relationship with an INFJ woman, you’re actually asking for it. You see what I’m saying? Oh, like many of them are like, Oh, that’s so amazing.
As I say that is right now as you’re watching this, because that’s a fact. Okay? You gotta get to the end, you know, in an all for the USI user woman out there. Like, if you’re not down to your INFJ man, then that’s like going to be a serious problem. As I said earlier, the deadly sin of the INFJ matters.
What is the deadly sin of the INFJ? Since many of you were like, Why haven’t you said it yet, Mr. CS Joseph, and it’s like it’s because it’s lost. I did say it technically actually. kind of all over the place right now forgive us while I’m trying to like smoke so I can calm down a little bit ahead a bit.
I had caffeine today and I don’t usually have caffeine so I’m kind of like all over the place right now. Trying to keep it as real as possible, though. 20:13 So yeah, no limits. And don’t limit yourself because if you limit yourself eventually gonna bring them limits.
And it’s not like the INFJ is going to complain. It’s just if you want to have the absolute best possible relationship, where you can absolutely show the most loved your INFJ you need to indulge their deadly sin of lust, you need to indulge their need for no limits. Nine FJ may say they want no limits. Or they may even say that they don’t.
But they’re okay with limits, they they’re they’re affiliated, they’re more likely to say they’re okay with it. 20:56 That’s not the truth. It’s not the truth. It’s not the truth at all.
It’s a need, no limits is a need, and you as their partner need to be there to meet that need. I can’t stress this enough. This is probably the most important rule out of this list. Because a lot of people just don’t understand the significance.
It’s not enough to just let INFJs do whatever they want. Because they’ll freak out. It’s more of you, as their lover need to facilitate the opportunity for a No Limits relationship, especially in the bedroom. Okay? Because you’re not going to give that to the INFJ it’s really going to, they’re never really going to feel satisfied in their relationship with you.
And their deadly sin of lust is just going to get out of control, just like it did with Hosea and Gomer. Because Gomer ended up going back to being a horror again. You know, I wonder if the quote unquote man of God was actually putting any limitations on her. Not that hurt returning to being on the street for is justifiable? Because it’s absolutely not.
But the thing is, is my point is is that is it possible that Hosea 10 Surely wasn’t facilitating that no limits relationship? I mean, for one thing, the INFJ with her with her te trickster, Gomer realized that he was the man of God, he had the reputation of being the man of God, and being the prophet, and she had to uphold that reputation. So she probably chronically felt guilty all the time, that he or she is this three core, who’s having children and married to the man of God. And it just bothered her. Because it’s like, I don’t deserve this.
Of course, you know, that’s ti child, God Complex, basically deciding who deserves what and playing God and she played God. She played God to the point that she ended up back in hell, even though she was previously, you know, you know, she was just rescued from hell, basically. And that’s not good. It’s, it’s, it really sucks.
You know, it sucks. And I see INFJs who constantly put themselves back in that position, over and over and over and over, and I’m like, Guys, stop. There’s really no reason. There actually is an opportunity for redemption.
And redemption can be had. That’s why it is written. The bridegroom presents his wife to him without stain or blemish. He is forgiving her sexual past.
That’s the whole point, folks. Okay. A lot of people don’t get that. Now, that’s not to say that I’m expecting men in general to forgive women or their sexual paths.
But that’s why happens. And of course, Hosea being the man of God as an NTP would do that, because guess what, and teepees have se trickster and se demon? Okay. And they don’t really care either unaware of or they really don’t care about the sexual past. It’s more of like, Are you healthy right now? No STDs? Are you okay? Okay.
Yeah, sure. And then again, you know, we talked about commitment and marriage, and I warn those NTPs Yeah, don’t marry her. Because statistically, if she’s got more than two partners, then she’s 70% more likely to divorce you. And oh, by the way, 80% of divorces in Western society are initiated by women anyways, so you might want to watch out, bro.
Getting married is definitely not something I recommend. But you don’t necessarily have to marry women to have sexual relationships with them. So why does it matter anyway, so only in very specific circumstances that I would ever recommend marriage to anyone and even if I did recommend marriage, it’d be done with certain stipulations, and certain legal structures would have to be put in place ahead of time to facilitate that marriage contract. And as a thing, marriage is a contract no one gives legal advice on especially the TE tricksters.
watching this right now you inf JS See what I’m saying? I think I got it not smoked in a while so here we go. Okay, got it. So yeah, no limits, that’s rule one, no limits, especially sexually because they have that deadly sin of lust. And having the deadly sin of lust can be a very good thing.
I’m not like saying it’s necessarily a bad thing, having a deadly sin of lust can be very good for an INFJ because that means that they take their sexual prowess very seriously. And they’re usually just naturally amazing in the bedroom. Just like, you know, ESTP czar, because they also have the same deadly sin of lust. You know, my Deadly Sin is the deadly sin of envy, which when you’re very envious, you end up understanding how attraction and desirability works more than anybody.
Which means because of my deadly sin, when the good things good, good things about having the deadly sin of envy is that basically always be attractive, always make myself attractive, always be desirable, in some capacity suit up saying, which is something an NI hero would want anyway, right. So it’s a lot to think about, like all of these things fit together. And a lot of people just don’t really understand, you know, how these things fit together. But it’s, it’s true.
So the second, the second one. The second, the second rule is, is provide acceptance to your INFJ. But not just any kind of acceptance. It’s like, reasonable upset acceptance.
I don’t know how to explain or label it properly. But let me explain. Don’t compliment an INFJ. Don’t do it.
Do not compliment them. Unless, of course, you can provide a specific example as to why you’re complimenting them or labeling them nice XYZ thing. 27:37 If you could do that, then compliment away. Promises that INFJ is almost always by default, assume you’re trying to take advantage of them or you’re trying to manipulate them when you compliment them.
So yeah, absolutely. compliment them. Yeah, absolutely accept them. But if you’re not able to provide a reason right then and there as to why you’re accepting them, or as to why you’re complimenting them, or as to why you’re doing them a favor, then they’re automatically going to assume that they’re taking advantage of them, they’re automatically going to assume you’re out to get them, they automatically assume yours is gonna betray them.
Or the worst part, they’re going to automatically assume that you are setting them up for failure. Oh, that’s the worst one. I hate that. I hate that.
Oh, God INFJs also fall in love so quickly, they fall in love the fastest of all of the types. Oh, Because don’t forget, the NI hero just wants everything they just already behave in this. No Limits behavior, especially that deadly sin of lust and that’s why they end up having sexual relations with so many people in their life to the point of having the highest body count out of all the types so that’s the thing you always got to be aware of that really you got to be aware that but yeah, they you got to give them acceptance. You really got to give them an acceptance but the problem is, is that acceptance it’s not enough to just default get it because like they’re walking anti flattery detectors they have this flattery radar, and if they ever they will assume that you’re just flattering them.
They hate flattery. Flattery is evil to them, they will have nothing to do with it. So if you can’t provide concrete examples or concrete reasons as to why you’re quote, flattering them at the moment. They’re not going to ever think that it’s true acceptance.
So I guess it’s not really so much reasonable expect acceptance as much that is true acceptance. Accurate acceptance. That’s it there Fe parent is looking for. That’s what their Fe parent needs.
That’s what it wants. That’s why it is the second rule. Provide I that to them, give them that acceptance, but it has to be true real acceptance based on facts based on good experiences that you’ve had based on specific examples that you can provide your partner that you can provide your lover right there specific examples as to why you believe they’re amazing. And you have to provide specific examples, things that they’ve already done.
Otherwise, they’re just not going to believe it, there’s gonna be like, Oh, you’re, You’re flattering me all, you’re going to take advantage of me all you’re setting me up for failure. And they just can’t deal with it because of that internal guilt. And sometimes, you’ll even pay them a compliment that you know, that they deserve or something or that you believe they deserve. Let’s not play God with the word deserve, though.
And you’re there and you’re giving it to them. And that’s important, too. But the difference is, though, is that even sometimes they get so stubborn, they’re still not going to listen to you, they’re not going to accept it. And that could be a serious problem, a big one.
And you’re not going to like, so what you’re going to have to do is you’re gonna have to keep going, you’re going to have to keep providing additional examples, and provide additional labels, and you just don’t stop. You don’t stop until they stop. You shower them with acceptance, you shove that acceptance down their throats, to the point where they know, beyond no doubt that you’re being honest with them, that you really do care about them, that you really value them, that you are making them a priority over everyone else. Only real and true acceptance will work anything short of that, then they’ll abandon you as funny INFJs they’re so afraid of abandonment.
That and they expect everyone to stick around and be consistent, but they themselves aren’t gonna like the least out of everybody. And it’s so frustrating, especially with that deadly sin of lust, where it’s like, oh, I’m a woman, I’m hypergamy. So I’m just gonna go bang this other person over here. And they always use their te trickster to rationalize why it’s okay for them to bang this other guy.
You know, even if like, even if you’re like on a break or whatever. But you know, men men have a similar problem, because they’ll just they’ll just rationalize it with their polygyny. They’ll just keep rationalizing and rationalizing and rationalizing, you know, because they want it all every INFJ with their ENFP shadow they want it all no limits, folks, no limits. Not that any INFJ would ever openly admit that.
But they want it all folks, they want it all. They want to be that high roller, and it’s so fun. Every time they start behaving like a high roller especially at the casino. That’s when they lose their ass.
And they take everyone else down with them. Mark my words always take everyone else down with them. side. So yeah, no limits.
Really true acceptance. Rule number three. This one’s kind of obvious. But you got to deal with ti child.
Yeah, child can be a huge, huge problem to deal with. 33:40 I can deal with them because I got te critic. Te child from the Oakland team through to deal the TI parent, not 33:47 so much te hero not so much. And don’t even think about the other ti users because it’s just not going to happen.
But where’s ti child? Me? Let me tell you a story. I was in a sexual relationship with this woman named Scarlett. But that wasn’t her real name. She actually changed her name because she hated her real name.
Real name was Cassandra. She hated being called Cassandra. Cassandra was the name of the prophet that nobody listened to. According the legend, and her ti child felt so not listened to her whole life.
She thought because the trickster, conflated it with a totem that is her name. Maybe it’s because I’m named Cassandra. That’s why no one listens to me. And it causes 34:37 huge pain for her a huge pain in her life.
So she changed her name. Not that it helped because believe me it didn’t help. 34:52 But with ti child the rule rule three is for TI child what to do for TI child is always listen to to actively listen, ask the active listening, always actively listen to your INFJ. Even if you believe they’re wrong.
That’s really hard. That’s really hard for some people. You don’t want to shut it down. You really don’t.
35:22 Don’t shut down their child. 35:24 Don’t ever dismiss them. Never dismiss an INFJ never dismiss them, dismissing them as like, not only will they I don’t really think that they’re your beingness loyal, but they’ll also be like, Well, what the hell am I here even contributing to you or helping you for? Even though let’s be honest, ti child is not the most helpful thing in the world? It really isn’t. It thinks it is.
But it isn’t. But it has that raw logic. So it has some use, it has some value, and a lot of value. Not saying it’s not like valueless or nothing.
But the thing is, though, is that 36:10 oftentimes, like there’s so the, the INFJ, eventually, you know, a ti child can develop a god complex, where they fall in love with their own voice. But the thing is, is that already throughout their entire life, they’ve already suffered with the fact that no one listens to them anyway. So why do you think as their partner, you get to not listen to them? Because one thing about ti child in an INFJ is that it can turn into te ti parent with an ESTP. subconscious.
Why is that relevant? Why is that important? Because deep down, every single INFJ, male, female doesn’t matter. They all want to be challenged. They all want challenge. They want to be challenged.
So challenge them. Always listen to the TI child, even if you disagree with it. But make sure you challenge their thinking. If you do disagree with it, never just let them talk and be like yeah, okay, but then not offer challenge.
I see NF peas do this all the time, especially te inferiors. Oh my god. I also see ti heroes do this, like intp is in sexual relationships with INFJs oh my god, they that’s a huge mistake that they make. You know, my friend John, he’s an intp.
He’s married to an INFJ. And John, if you’re watching this, for your marriage, man, like seriously, this is it. Like right here, you know, you got to offer challenge. Because even if you’re hurting her feelings, or if you think you’re gonna hurt her feelings, you have to offer challenge, because she’ll respect you more for that challenge than not.
All INFJ ti child’s need that challenge. So it’s not enough to just actively listen, it’s also not enough to accurately Listen, even if you disagree with them, you have to complete the entire experience. And it’s a shared experience they’re looking for, where you’re also offering challenge if you actually disagree with them. Because if you’re doing that, if you don’t do that, then guess what, it’s another way for them to feel like you’re setting them up for failure, which is how when you when you set up an INFJ for failure.
That’s literally you saying to the INFJ This is how they take it, that you hate them, not that you love them. Or even worse, that you’re indifferent to them. And ENFPs are going pair really, really understand that they really understand that concept. And for some reason, most people don’t and it really frustrates me that that’s the case 39:15 really frustrates me I love INFJs I love being in relationships with them.
They’re amazing lovers. They’re always so precise. And they take care of my Inferior function very well. You know, it’s, it’s, it’s fantastic.
But they always just end up selling themselves short. And that’s really rule number four. Number four for INTJ is which is also as inferior as you know never reject them always say yes or not yet. With inf J’s it’s a little bit different.
They actually expect you to reject them. 40:00 because they already know that that perfect even though they’re 40:01 trying to be perfect. But deep down, they know because they have FYI credit. So they kind of expect there to be some rejection within the relationship anyway, because their ESTP subconscious is just pragmatic about that fact they know rejection will take place.
So, whereas an INFJ, or an INTJ rejection is extremely critical, they just can’t deal with it. I rejected my INTJ ex Andy, in my inbox right now, there’s like seven emails from her. It’s been three years since our last date. Last day, it was on Valentine’s Day, three years ago.
And she still emails me she still can’t let go. Because that rejection was just so painful to her. You see what I’m saying? So painful, but to an INFJ. Rejection absolutely hurts.
And they’re afraid of rejection? Yes. And they have performance anxiety, like INTJ. Do. Yes.
But the difference is, is that an INFJ accepts rejection as a part of life, and I’ve always respected them for that. So the rule that you would apply it to INTJ is does not necessarily actually apply to INFJs? It’s a little bit different. 41:18 What is it they want? What are they looking for? How can you show love to that se inferior? I’ve already mentioned it in this episode. What is it? It’s consistency, being consistent.
The end of the point of potentially even being predictable. 41:40 It’s consistency. They need consistency. They need someone around them that is like a rock.
Someone who is immovable. They need the immovable object because they feel like the unstoppable force even though the unstoppable force is more likely, and I parents, not necessarily an AI hero, but they need the immovable object they need someone who is consistent, consistent about them. What they really need, folks is loyalty. Why? Think about it.
If you have the lowest deadly sin, and you have the greatest potential, the 16 types to have the highest body count the highest number of sexual partners, out of all the 16 types out of all of the human race. Don’t you think that that person because of how naturally disloyal they are, that in their partner that they’re in a sexual relationship with that they’re their partner? Who is their significant other their lover, Don’s really think that they would want consistency? Don’t you think that they would want loyalty more than anything? Right? It’s all about loyalty. You know, the INTJ is they’re so afraid of rejection. Yeah, they want loyalty, but they are even more afraid of rejection.
But the INFJ is a little bit different. Yeah, they can deal with rejection. And yeah, they’re kind of afraid of rejection, but they don’t want they don’t want to be rejection. But what really bothers them is disloyalty really bothers them.
It’s like a different tint, to se inferior. They really, really, really want that consistency to know that. Whenever they call you that you’re going to be there to know that whenever they wake up, you’re going to be there to know that you’re just going to be there for them. They just need someone to be there for them.
It’s all they’ve ever wanted, is really all they’ve ever wanted is someone to be there for them. Because they have so many partners, they’ve been with so many people, but which of those people are still with them today. Which of those people still call them which of those people still write them? Which of those people still make them a priority? Which of those people stick around that is the source of their greatest pain I refuse to be the source of that pain. I choose to be loyal.
I choose to stick around. I always tell them Yeah, I know. You’re probably going to fail. You will fail in our relationship.
But I always tell them always give you the right to remedy. I always give you the opportunity to fix the problem. Before I move on you know that is what is in effect what Hosea did for go Right after she left and he got the one year’s wages and he went to her pimp her slave owner and literally purchased her from her pimp to bring her home to her family, to her children to him once again. The bridegroom presenting his bride who happens to be a street whore without stain or blemish, and literally redeeming her granting her redemption.
The one thing that INFJs want more than anything. Why else? Do you think that Jesus Christ is an INFJ? He is known as the Redeemer INFJs are all about redeeming people. Why is because they themselves want to be redeemed. What does that say about the character of God? Does does God who has his son the INFJ? does? Does does Jesus Christ feel like a failure? Does he feel like he failed? His creation? Humanity, the human race? 46:12 Maybe he does.
He’s got se inferior. Maybe he does. You ever thought of that folks. Just wants this woman to stick around.
He wants His Bride stick around. You know, Hosea, he stuck around, he stuck around for Gomer she didn’t let go for he was still loyal to her. 46:46 And then he brought her home and said, Hey, here’s what’s gonna happen. Okay, I brought you back.
You’re gonna be my wife. You’re not gonna have any more sexual relations. The other men just me, you’re gonna be here as my wife and the mother of our children. And that’s it.
And I’m giving you this one golden opportunity to fix what you did. Oh my god, that’s amazing. That loyalty, that masculine idealism, huh? Yeah. That consistency, he stuck around for her.
He never let go of her. Even though she let go of herself, as much as she let go of him. And this is where the red pill community makes shit all over that the red pill community that Tomasi is of the world, the rulers of the world. The Royce’s of the world would just say, Officer CS Joseph, you’re just being a beta cook.
And you know what? I know their definition. They’d be right. I wouldn’t be a beta cook. But where’s the masculine idealism? Where’s the love? Because as Paul said, If you do not have love, you do not have anything.
Where’s the love? Right? 48:07 Where’s the love? Where’s the love? Where’s the love, folks? Where is it? So you prove love to your INFJ with concrete action, 48:29 on yielding, even in the face of fear, even in the face of betrayal. 48:35 That’s the truth. 48:38 Now, I’m not saying all men should do this. I’m not saying that they should let go their self respect, obviously.
And there’s ways to get around that. But the reality of the situation is they just want loyalty. They need to know that you’re going to stick around they need to know that you’re going to be there for them so funny, this is one of their hypocrisy is they expect everyone else to be consistent and stick around even though they themselves don’t. And they don’t because they just don’t feel they’re worth it.
They don’t feel like they deserve it. But every time an INFJ says, Well, I don’t deserve him or I don’t deserve her. That INFJ is doing nothing more than playing God 49:32 Have you ever thought of that? Have you? Have you ever thought of that? You’re just playing God fools don’t get me wrong. I’m a fool too.
Keep it notifications rule, rule number five, you know, for INFJs, it was, you know, always tell them what you’re gonna do before you do it. But with inf J’s, it’s more of like, if you actually want something, just tell them what it is. It’s kind of like sharing. So share with them, share with them, like what you hope for.
Also share with them like your despair over. It’s, it’s kind of more of like more sharing, because the more you share with them, the less paranoid they get, the more proves to them that you are sticking around. So it’s make sure that you tell them what you want, make sure you tell them what you’re hoping for, make sure you tell them. Like where you see yourself with them in the future.
Talk about a future that includes them. That is rule number five. It’s just more ammunition to show that you’re consistent with them. 51:10 Rule number six.
Rule number six, their eye fi critic. You know, they oftentimes will downplay themselves, they will oftentimes self deprecating. Don’t enable the self deprecation at all, never enabled an INFJ self deprecation effort. Instead, show them gratitude show them that you appreciate them and why.
So if they stopped self deprecating be that person that remembers why they’re your they’re valuable to you. And then share that with them. So that they stop valuing themselves less. Also, very few times in their life, they’ll actually start to really care about certain principles.
Try them out and be willing to try out those principles, be willing to try out some of their values and their value system. And see if it works out as an aspect of your challenge and their ti child, but you kind of want to provide challenge in this area to by testing their morality. It’s super important that you do this. Very important.
Ah, rule seven. And I know I’m kind of going through these rules a little bit quick. But rule seven is going to be a little bit of a long one here, it’s really important, they have te trickster rule seven, you have to make sure you are protecting your INFJ from stupid people, corrupt people, bad people, you yourself need to become your INFJs filter and filter out people filter out articles, filter out media, filter out books, filter out podcasts, filter out the television, turn the television off, okay, turn the movies off, turn off the Netflix, turn off all that crap, turn it off. Of all the 16 types, there is no one so much more easily manipulated, controlled, mind controlled, encouraged, or what have you, or influenced, it’s INFJs are so easy to influence out of all the 16 types, you have to protect them from influence external influence, and the only person that should be influencing them is you.
And nobody else, you have to do that. You have to do that for that influence. Recognize that they are weak from influence. And you need to identify all the sources of influence in their life.
And if they are challenging your relationship, the safety of your relationship, or your ability to be consistent. Guess what? Get that influence away from them. Replace it with healthy influences. Rule number seven, manage their influences, what is influencing them and be the number one source of influence on them in their life? I can’t stress that enough.
Because INFJs have this problem where they will listen to just about anyone, everyone. Oh, everyone is valuable, right? Everyone could be important. Any voice is important because I want my voice to be important. And if my voice is important if it’s ever going to be important if I’m ever going to be an authority.
I need to learn how to listen. So I’m going to listen to everybody and hopes that one day I will gain In the recognition to become an authority to become an influencer myself and wrong, that’s wrong. You don’t just go out and life and listen to everyone, that’s foolish. Where’s the wisdom in that? So I te critic exists in the companion relationship between en TP and INFJ.
As a fact, don’t let that happen. Don’t let that happen to your INFJ. You have to protect them from influencers and influence constantly. And you have to make sure that you don’t just allow anyone to start speaking in their life, especially their immediate family, oh, my goodness, you have to go out of your way to prevent that from happening.
55:57 Otherwise, it could destroy you. Otherwise, it could be a huge threat to your relationship and you will lose them, 56:03 you don’t want that to happen. Rule number eight you have to make sure that you are pushing your INFJ you have to push them, push them, sometimes they’ll react negatively, you have to push them, push them into action, just like INTJ. So we’re so in love with taking shortcuts.
I don’t know how many times I have seen INFJs with their little get rich quick schemes, It’s so pathetic. And then they just get they end up getting sucked in by ENFPs. And be completely taken advantage of. And they end up taking everyone else down with them.
Because you know, these little get rich quick schemes they end up doing or these multi level marketing BS that they end up doing or whatever, and it’s so easily sold, they’re so easily influenced. So instead, while you’re getting rid of the influence and observing rule seven, rule eight is push them in the right direction, make sure that they’re putting in an effort. And here’s the thing you want to encourage, you want to know what pushes an INFJ more than anyone, you want to be able to push an INFJ to the brink without their si demon coming out and burning themselves to the ground. By pushing yourself by you making sure that you’re putting in the most effort, because by you putting in more and more effort in your life, they will be encouraged to mirror you.
And then they will start putting an effort to. What this means is that when it comes to effort, and pushing them, you need to take the lead in this area, take the lead in your relationship take the lead when it comes to effort. And then they themselves will put in all the effort or they’ll put in a lot more effort more effort than ever done. So then it’s no longer get rich quick schemes.
It ends up becoming, I’m going to read 15 books that I’m an expert in this so that I can actually learn how to get rich on my own. Because the long way, the long road is actually the fastest. And that’s the point. Si demon needs to understand.
That’s why every INFJ needs to know. So give it to them. Push them, you got to push them, keep encouraging them in that direction. Make sure that you tell them that you expect maximum effort.
Obviously, don’t exasperate them, obviously, so be wise with this. But push them but here’s the thing, they’re never going to allow you to push them unless they see that you are pushing yourself first. That’s the point. That’s what they need.
And make sure that while you’re pushing yourself and focusing on their needs, they’re going to be way more encouraged to for the first time in their life actually care about their needs because they see that you are caring about your needs. And it becomes all about needs and they’re no longer ignoring their needs anymore. They’re actually going to bed on time because they see you going to bed on time. You see what I’m saying? That’s why INFJ is especially an adult as adults.
They should never sleep alone. Ever. And I feel so bad and I feel so sorry for those INFJs out there who are watching this who are sleeping alone. Because their it even affects their health in a negative way to the point where they end up having more disease than anyone else.
They end up overdriving their headlights, as my INFJ uncle would say don’t let that happen to your INFJ If you take care of your INFJ, you help them meet their needs by pushing them. And you push them the most by pushing yourself, for example. Let’s say, let’s say you’re married to an INFJ. And he’s obese.
Let’s say that he’s an INFJ man, and he’s obese and you want him to be more attractive. So what do you need to do? You need to go to the gym, you need to start reading fitness books, you need to start counting your calories, you need to start understanding organic, non GMO foods. And they see you putting in all this effort and all of a sudden, oh, they’re like, Oh, crap, I need to she’s getting a lot. She’s getting ahead of me there.
I need to catch up. I need to go beyond her. And then they will. And it becomes like this race, and it’s a race to excellence.
You want your INFJ to be excellent. Begin the path, the journey to excellence yourself. And not only will they meet you there, they will pass you surpass you and eventually the lap you and then you have something amazing on your hands. Majan your partner going all the way like that would be incredible.
I’d be absolutely incredible. That is effectively what Jose did for governor. 1:01:18 He never gave up. 1:01:21 He’s like, you’re my wife.
I love you. I chose you. I’m loyal to you. And he proved it with concrete action one year as wages and he gave her the opportunity to fix what she did.
And then once again, once again even a second time he presented her to Himself without stain or blemish. And he’s still forgave her anyway. That’s the kind of redemption that can be there for you INFJ it’s in relationships. That’s the kind of redemption that you lovers of INFJs need to be prepared to give to them something that they don’t get from anybody else anywhere else in their whole life 1:02:10 you found this lecture useful helpful educational enlightening, please subscribe to the channel leave a comment below.
Hope you guys enjoyed this episode. I know it’s a slow start, but it’s kind of necessary. I took a while to film this one because I don’t know INFJs have a very special place in my heart and I want to do it right I want to do it right the first time because I love you all so much. And I’m very thankful for you that you exist gives me hope.
So anyway, folks, thanks for watching. Thanks for listening. And I’ll see you guys tonight my silver so can you and gave you coding