8 Rules For Loving an ESTP | Season 27 | CS Joseph
CS Joseph discusses 8 rules for loving an ESTP.
Hey guys, it’s CS Joseph with CS Joseph dot life doing another episode for season 27 A rules for love. And today’s episode we’re gonna be exploring the ESTP psychological archetype also noticed that Gladiator, and ESTPs very persuasive individuals, very direct 00:26 people, almost to the point of like being super, really commanding, 00:32 and the like. But you know, they are the alpha of the censors. Of course, quite frankly, you could argue that the ESTP is the alpha of all the types, but ENTJs are the alphas of the intuitives and ESTPs are the alpha of the of the sensors of the concrete types.
So, a little bit of background, if you’re new to the channel, please subscribe. Leave a like and a comment. Every comment is, is read. I read every single comment, I may not answer them all.
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So she’s, she’s pretty cute today, and I’m very proud. So anyway, ESTP is the Gladiator. Their interaction style, also known as communication style, is direct initiating control, they initiate they go to other people control means that they are very outcome focused. Everything they do is outcome based, although it’s kind of funny, like they have the four sides of the mind is, you know, the ESTP ego, their subconscious is INFJ.
Their unconscious is an ISTJ and their super egos ENFP. But then you have like the fact that they have like an INFJ subconscious, which is a finisher interaction style or communication style, what have you direct responding movement? Same thing with the ISTJ also being direct responding movement? They’re they’re finishers, right? They’re constantly finishing stuff. Well, that’s awesome. Because when they’re finishing so much, they get so outcome focused, that they’re like, Well, I’m not going to spend any time doing anything, because I’m so like, because if, if I’m not guaranteed a good outcome, why even bother? Why am I going to take the risk of potentially making the wrong decision with my introverted intuition, Inferior function due to the insecurity of, you know, wanting the wrong thing or making the wrong decision.
And sometimes they don’t really allow themselves to start, which is kind of interesting, because another type that has an issue with that is an INTJ, because of their procrastinated behaviors. But the thing is, from the ESTP point of view, they’re just trying to make sure that they have a good outcome every single time, it’s all about making sure outcome is everything to them. So this also leads ESTPs in relationships, to always make sure so they always want to check in with their mate with their lover with their husband, with their wife to make sure that they’re doing a good job, that they’re properly contributing to the relationship as a result, because they need that feedback from an expert and feeling child. Their disposition, aka temperament, is known as the artisan, which is freedom based creator, they’re all about being creative.
They’re all about living in the moment being a very present individual. Although because they’re outcome focused, they are able to look into their own future and plan their future a bit more and a lot more than an ESFP. And ESFP doesn’t really do that they’re even more present because it’s not there. They’re movement oriented.
They’re not outcome focused. So they’re very process oriented. Unlike the ESTP, where it’s all about outcome outcome is everything to the ESTP not a bad thing. But you know, that’s because their control.
This is why ESTPs can take a little bit longer to do things compared to other types as a control type because they’re trying to get that specific outcome, which requires a lot more effort. Whereas like, you know, movement oriented, not so much. So, for example, in ESFP an ESFP would walk into places and schmooze people or, you know, if you’re trying to get a job, for example, and even though there may not be a position posted, or if the hiring manager is not even there, the ESFP would still show up and, you know, rub elbows with people, shake hands have conversations initiate, hey, I’m here, I’m interested in working here. Whereas if an ESTP, ESTP, wouldn’t even bother unless they knew that the hiring manager was going to be there.
Or if they knew that like, or there was even a position posted, right, that’s, that’s a huge difference with control movement between those two types. Just as an example, I know, this audience sometimes has a hard time telling the difference between control and movement, but it is what it is. Also, like, I’d like to dedicate this particular lecture, to, to flow state of all people. I really, really, really want to make sure that I have, out of all the people watching this lecture that he’s watching this lecture, and it is it’s very specific to him.
So so this is eight rules for loving ESTPs. This is eight rules for loving flow state, right? Even though he hates me right now, but I don’t hate flow state, actually, actually like him. I enjoyed the conversation I had with him on the phone. So it’s kind of kind of my problem, I guess, as an EMT, P E.
And TPS always end up liking people that hate them. It’s it’s kind of a very odd, masochistic thing. I guess. Gosh, I really wish I had my wand right now I could wave around like a madman.
Anyway. So freedom based creator, live in the moments all about giving people a good experience. And the reason why is because ESTPs often draw their self worth or the contributions based on the experiences that they give other people sometimes they, they need to take additional risks, so that they have stories to be able to tell their friends. And if they don’t have stories tell their friends they worry about that because of Introverted Sensing Nemesis and that can be an issue.
So, but virtue advice Nymphomaniac versus chastity as advice versus virtue. Like ESTPs can be the most chaste of all the types in you know, I’m not saying like chastity means like, don’t have sex with anybody. And like be like some monk or something, although they have those tendencies to their sage of the mountain type role that they take with, you know, the INFJ subconscious. Okay, that’s very fair, because the INFJ known as the Paladin, aka the sage.
Okay, yeah, I could get that. But chastity is more of like, they could be really devoted to that one person. It’s that dove like relationship, you know, doves have, you know, that one special person that they just cling on to, and they’re super mega loyal to them, which is why se heroes, they absolutely need loyalty, they demand loyalty. And they will fight to protect their relationship, tooth and nail even to the point of violence if necessary.
Because it’s the, their, their relationship or their sexual relationship. It’s absolutely sacred to them. And it’s so hard for them to deal with, you know, breakups as a result. It’s why they have to like wipe their memories of the people, they literally like an ESTP literally erases their memory every time they get out of relationship.
And they do this by taking every physical object, and anything that could possibly remind them photos, text messages, emails, doesn’t matter, Facebook profiles, entire social media profiles, whatever all is erased, because, you know, being an extroverted sensing hero, they have the benefit of like erasing their memory by removing the totems, or the physical objects of the memories that their their memories are attached to. So that the pain of the loss of the relationship is gone. Let’s be nice to be an SE user. I’m an SI user, and I take my pain with me everywhere I go.
Si users, you know, we hold on to pain so much. It’s so annoying. However ESTP is when they’re in relationships with SI users, they can actually help the SI user heal from that pain by providing additional shared experiences with people that they’re in relationships with, which is very, very important. I actually talked about this more in season 14, episode two, which is the second golden pair lecture.
It’s in patreon.com forward slash CS Joseph become a gold Tier member. You guys can check that out. I highly recommend that really goes into depth as to what the ESTP ISTJ golden pair relationship should look like and how they benefit from that. Gotta love that son right in the camera, right who you know.
Anyway, so. So let’s see here I did. Oh, so ninfa nymphomaniacs advice. I 10:23 mean, ESTPs because of that outcome, it’s like, you know, well, if everyone else is doing it, then why why? Why can’t I do it? Right? You know, everyone else is having sex with everybody, then why can’t I do it? You know, like, they have those, those limitations.
Gosh, this is like, terrible, hopefully, get the sun out of the camera here. So anyway, you know that that Nymphomaniac approach, like they, I mean, it’s funny, like my cousin, I mean, he has hundreds I’ve said this before, he’s got hundreds of women in his little black black book, but he went full on chastity mode when he finally married an ES TJ woman. And that es TJ woman holds him accountable, super mega loyal to him. And he fights for her tooth and nail, they have children together.
It’s a fantastic marriage, it’s a fantastic relationship. And, honestly, I’m very proud of him. I’m also I also respect him, you know. And that’s another thing about ESTPs, especially ESTP, men used to be women as well, they take respect very seriously.
Now, as part of their as part of their disposition or temperament, they’re very interest based. So remember with ESTP is because their interest base, they don’t, they don’t really care about the best way to do something, they care about creating a win win. And this is something my ESTP mentor taught me. Which is funny, because flowstate reminds me so much of my ESTP mentor, which oddly enough, my ESTP mentor, still to this day, thinks he’s an ISTP.
But that’s a whole other thing. I remember when my INFJ mentor and I were actually sitting down, and we’re like, yeah, he’s an ESTP. It was, it was kind of a really big awakening thing. But I mean, like, even, like, you know, it’s kind of kind of interesting, how we’re going through, like, the brands and model with cognitive functions.
And oftentimes, you know, like, my mentors, and I even question our own types, just to like, because, you know, we’re all ti users, you just have to know the truth about what it is and, you know, it’s like, okay, yeah, Berends in type raid, yet still true, still true, you know, and cognitive function definitions are backwards according to what everyone else believes versus, you know, what, what barons believes, I mean, that’s the bottom line, if barons and Montgomery for example are if, you know, if barons and Montgomery are true, then you know, Orion Keirsey, and Plato and so on, Hunziker, John Beebe, if all these people are Drew, then that means the Type grid is true. And if the Type grid is true, then the generally accepted definitions for the cognitive functions are backwards, when the definition for Introverted Intuition is actually definition of extroverted intuition, etc. Which really starts to change the perspective on things, you know, and my critics often, you know, think that like, I just, I don’t know, put up a dartboard and throw a dart against the wall. It’s a dope, that’s it.
No, it’s actually very well researched and read and it’s not my fault that you know, most people out there don’t even understand Linda Behrens, but they probably should. That being said. So being in a relationship with an ESTP can be fantastic. It can be absolutely fantastic for those involved.
And for the ESTP, because they’re just trying to create a win win. Remember that their interest base, it’s all about the win win? Well, however, a systematic person is all about the best way of doing things. And they’re okay with having a win lose situation with the systematic person taking a loss for the sake of a situation because for the sake of the best for the sake of doing the best thing. It’s almost like a weird form of idealism.
And I do this too, but I’ve had ESTPs come up to me and thanked me because it’s like, well, you created a system, which is the best way to do something which guarantees that I get the best outcome, right. So this is where a systematic person can actually help someone who’s control based and they can really benefit from a relationship as a result. It’s a big deal. This is one of the reasons why SP types who are all interest based are in relationships.
So romantic relationships with with Sj types. Gosh, Do you guys ever get the feeling that like I do better lecturing, when I freestyle it, instead of just having the whiteboard and planning everything out. It’s like, I go to my INTJ shadow when I’m like, try to like whiteboard everything all the time. And I think the quality of the content goes down slightly.
So I, I’m trying to turn over a new leaf or at least try some, like, get back to basics, because I really miss doing the car lectures and the trail lectures and whatnot, where I’m just actually just speaking from memory here beside the thing, people value the audio more than the visuals anyway, so but if you guys disagree, or whatever, I’d like to hear your opinion, please drop it in the comments below. I’d really appreciate having a discourse about that. But anyway, back to the ESTP. So remember, they’re trying to create a win win.
And if and if an ESTP is error, if it’s ever a win lose situation for the ESTP, where they are lose, they automatically by default, assume that they’re being manipulated. And from a TI parent standpoint, you know, what’s focusing on truth from an ESTP? I actually have to agree with them, I have to agree with them. Although sometimes, you know, when it comes with interest versus systematic, the ESTP can assume that if other people are taking a loss in a situation when going up against someone who is systematic and not interest based, they assume that there’s manipulation there when there is no manipulation there. However, so what I’m saying is, is that just because it’s a win lose does not always mean there is manipulation.
Actually, however, I am slightly contradicting myself, but let me let me let me flesh this out a little bit more. So in my coaching sessions, for example, I actually tell systematic types, that whenever they have a conversation with somebody recognize that they are weak from interest based manipulation, and this is something that I learned from ESTPs including flow state, for example, giving credit where it is due here, I have learned from ESTPs that because of you know, systematic types are extremely weak to manipulation in terms of the win, lose, because a systematic person can be sold on the idea that doing something one way is the best way to do something. And if you’re a systematic person who’s also an introverted sensor, your Introverted Sensing can put your faith into the wrong thing. And then as a result of putting your faith into the wrong thing, it could be like, even worse, like, let’s be straight, because you’re putting your faith in the wrong thing.
You putting your faith in the wrong system, you mistakenly believe that that system is the best way to do something, you know, and then all of a sudden, it’s a win lose a win for the for like the the ENFP that sold you the system or whatever. You know, like the Bulletproof Diet, for example. And that’s a whole other situation, because David Asprey, he’s an ENFP, right? He’s an ENFP. He’s got ti trickster, you know, but he’s sold everybody on the ketogenic diet.
And a lot of people think I’m pro keto, keto is fine, but only in certain circumstances. Like if you’re type two diabetes, like I, there’s evidence to suggest that it could be the cure to type two diabetes. And it also can help deal help people deal with certain forms of cancer, depending if the cancer is if the cancer prefers glucose, or if it prefers, you know, fat basically, as its, you know, as its as its preferred, you know, vector, cellular vector, etc. But, either either way, you know, the Bulletproof Diet or, you know, ENFPs often end up getting these reputations of being charlatans.
I mean, look at Glenn Beck he’s also an ENFP, right. Gary Vaynerchuk Ty Lopez they are also ENFPs Ty Lopez gets to write it all the time. As charlatans and it’s usually ESTPs calling them out. Well, I mean, come on.
If you want ENFP or NFP repellent, find yourself in ESTP they’ll put them down right quick. And in flow states, the Feds he called me because he’s literally trying to find out if I’m a charlatan, he’d straight up call me because I sent I sent out that email season 22 Episode Two, you know for ESTPs and then he called me because he resonated with that video, and he’s like, you know, what’s your game? What’s your intentions? Like what are you what are you getting out of this? Basically, he’s gi being all interest based telling me Uh, you know, what are you getting out of this? And I’m like, I’m just telling the truth man, like, people can pay me, they don’t have to pay me or I’m telling the truth regardless, 20:11 you know what I’m saying. So like, it’s not really necessary. You know, in that regard, I don’t gain anything from being, you know, a charlatan, when I just don’t care about my self aggrandizement or my status, etcetera.
In that regard, I just want to tell the truth. You know, the truth is, I see it as a TI is a fellow ti parent. So, and that’s not to say that I’m not willing to take responsibility for my, for my issues, and that’s basically and here it is, folks, the first rule of loving an ESTP or loving flow state in this regard. First rule is basically, you know, to always take responsibility for your actions.
Now, remember folks is TPS are mirrors, right? They mirror other people’s behavior, en TPS, I am a mimic. And that’s that we’ll talk about that later for, for en TPS with the eight rules for love. But when you’re in a relationship with an ESTP, rule number one basically applies directly to extroverted sensing here, what does extroverted sensing hero meet need? It’s a mirror it has shared experiences, what’s fair is fair. Now, oftentimes, I have to tell ESTPs all the time, because I remember my ESTP mentor telling me, you know, Hey, would you just do something bad? That gives me license to behave badly? And I’m like, No, actually, it doesn’t.
It does not? No, it doesn’t. Someone else’s poor behavior, just not to give you an excuse to behave poorly yourself. But ESTPs constantly have like, well, what’s fair is fair. I mean, like, I get it, and I get that you guys are mirrors and whatnot.
But like, that’s not always true. In some applications, that can be true, but when you’re in like a community, when you’re in love, or a love and respect, relationship, girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, sexual relationship of some kind, like sometimes, like, if you actually love somebody, and you’re an ESTP, you have to be willing to, like, let go of the whole license or, because you’re behaving badly, you are enabling me to behave badly. It’s like, it’s like an ESTP, saying, you know, well, you know, you cheated on me. So that gives me the right to cheat on you know, actually, it doesn’t, what the ESTP should be doing is breaking up with that person door, slamming them removing all totems of memory of that person in their life, and then starting a new relationship without taking the moral failure hit towards their own souls of actually performing a cheating act themselves.
That’s what should actually happen. Instead of this, well, you know, your your poor behavior of cheating gives me license to cheat on you, which again, gets into the Nymphomaniac vise of the ESTP. Right? Or, for example, if an ESTP gets raped, for example, and because they feel like they have no control over the life of that moment, or there’s no outcome, they can go full on Nymphomaniac device, and then just like, doesn’t matter who they have sex with anymore, because it’s like, well, why bother? It doesn’t matter, et cetera, which that too, is a very depraved, ENFP super ego point of view that ESTPs can have, okay? This is a problem when you’re having a relationship with an ESTP. So, and this can happen, you know, and don’t forget, guys, and as much as I dedicated this lecture to flow state, this lecture also applies directly to talking with famous people.
This is also Eric Strauss with talking with famous people. So just understand, you know, these these two gentlemen, while they are slightly different, because I would argue that they had different cognitive focus, and we’ll talk about cognitive focus later. These these principles, these eight rules for love and relationships still directly apply. And rumor has it Eric Strauss’s girlfriend is an ENFP.
So I highly recommend that she watches this lecture so that she can have a better relationship with Eric so that she’s able to meet his needs. But Rule number one is always take responsibility for actions and always give attention to your ESTP ESTPs thrive on attention. And for some reason, they believe or think that if they don’t have your attention, they are not a priority. They end up feeling like they are not a priority to you.
They end up feeling like they’re not important to you and ESTP really needs to have such high levels of loyalty in their lover, that their lover at a drop of a hat will be able to drop everything for them. Absolutely everything at an instant, because from the ESTPs point of view, they’d be willing to do that. Well. Not always the case.
Sometimes ESTPs can be pretty hypocritical about that because As for example, they have I have been in situations where they completely expect, they completely expect you to like, you know, well, hey guys, I fully expect you to have to give me your attention whenever I want. But when it comes to trying to get their attention, sometimes when they’re really focused on the computer really focused on their phone, when they’re looking at something, they’re not exactly willing to give it when they fully expect other people to be giving them their attention, especially their lover and it’s like, wait a minute, there’s a little bit of macaque hypocrisy there. ESTPs. Let’s calm down.
You know what I’m saying? This happens, as not to say that that’s also happens with en TPS, because it does actually in terms of like feeling wanted. So you know, sometimes, you know, en TPS have this huge expectation of you know, and ENFPs as well, this, this applies to both. So I guess this would apply to, you know, if, if Eric Strauss’s girlfriend is an ENFP I’m and psychoanalyzed her yet, but if she is an ENFP, then she would have this as well, where she expects to feel wanted at all times, with not exactly is always willing to give up, you know, showing want to others in that regard. So every type has this these little hip hidden hypocrisy isn’t them.
This is this is very normal folks, because nobody’s perfect. And honestly, it’s kind of what makes life beautiful. So I’m not saying this is a bad thing. And I’m not saying hypocrisy in this point of view, is that bad thing because it makes life interesting.
It keeps life fresh, actually. So I’m being very neutral about this. So that’s a, so that’s rule number one. Okay, So rule number two, rule number two is applying the TI parents, so ti parent, you always always have to listen to ESTPs, they are going to tell you the harsh truth.
And they really, you know, as part of, you know, real wine, people who are always willing to take responsibility for their actions, those people are the strongest people out there. And ESTPs are able to respect strength, they respect strength, probably above all strength and strength of character, strength of character means everything to them. And that’s because they are trying to become this person who has the highest level of integrity possible. That comes from INFJ, Paladin base subconscious, because the INFJ Paladin is all about who they’re trying to become, right? So the sage on the mountain and have like the spiritual mastery, a person who has the highest integrity, a person who has the highest character.
So ESTP is naturally respect people who have the highest level of character out there. And what’s really cool is that as ESTP is actually developed in their life, with their subconscious, they also can have the highest level of character. So again, let’s talk about my critics here, flow state and Eric Strauss, for example. Host Eric, you know, when, when they, when they see me and their interest base, you know, and they’re, they think that I’m creating a win lose, you know, for my audience where my audience is losing, and I’m winning, for example, and they make these, they make these points about me.
As a result, I can understand where they’re coming from. But I mean, you know, when you have expert sensing here, or you don’t have expert intuition, are able to see the metaphysical of you know, what’s happening behind the scenes, or the intentions there of you’re only able to see actions, but they can only you know, and then as a result of that limitation, they’re not exactly exposed to the character of the other person, which means it’s possible they could miss judge others. Now I’m not not to say that I can’t miss judge people. I miss judge people all the time.
I probably miss judge somebody who was close to me very recently held them accountable for it was probably wrong with how I approached it. Although I suspect I’m still right about it, I just don’t know. But like, you know, when you’re calling someone out for dishonesty, some people like to know why a person is being dishonest, but I do know that they were being dishonest and insincere. And that’s enough for me at this point to ask that person to just kind of not be my friend anymore.
Because it’s like, why, you know, so I mean, even I have to take responsibility. But anyway, it’s all about, remember, ESTP is it’s all about integrity, you know, because they are looking for integrity, because the purpose of the ESTP is to test the structural integrity of people, more than more than anything, but also any kind of structure because remember, they are structure types, their direct initiating control. It’s all about providing a structure or having structure or testing structure. And this includes why this is why ESTP is have to test the rules and the boundaries of everything because ESTPs recognize the truth about boundaries and rules.
They’re, for the most part, arbitrary. And because they’re arbitrary, I’m going to test them and you can’t tell me Don’t take away my choice, right as a result. So ti parent, 30:05 as a result of that is literally there to try. And they use it to tell the harsh truth to see if someone is willing to take responsibility to see if someone has strength of character.
That’s what it’s there for. And also, when they criticize someone, and they are as harsh as they get, and to the point where it’s like this absolute fire is like this flaming sword because they have the palette and inside their head, and and you remember our symbol for the palette is this giant flaming sword of truth. They use that flaming sword of truth, to basically cut people down. But remember, it’s a double edged sword, it cuts the ESTP who’s who’s wielding the Sword of Truth, and as much as it cuts their opponent, which means they have to have the highest level of strength of character, which means they have to be as anti hypocritical as possible.
While they’re making these cuts. It’s absolutely critical, absolutely critical for the ESTP to do this. And so based on that, they can actually pull that off, which is which is fantastic that they could do this but so again, ti parent struggles real entirely, but the intention is not necessarily to harm people. See, that’s the thing that people get wrong about ESTPs out there just a bunch of bullies like externally people like especially in FPS and st J’s, the the Delta Quadra Delta Quadra types are the people who end up trying to destroy the reputation of the ESTP.
So people are automatically thinking less the ESTP, and not interfacing, the ESTP and just labeling the ESTP as harsh. And that basically takes away the voice, the ESTP, which forces the ESTP to try to be friends with some kind of person who has structural integrity, an SI user, for example, and a fellow Delta quadra, who hasn’t been corrupted by that lazy narrative, that fake narrative about them, so that they can empower their own voice to that other person, because they know that other people will listen to that person. And they could speak their harsh truths through that other person, right. And this is typically in ESTP is relationship with STP and FJ quadra, this is why they’re often in relationships with them from a compatibility standpoint, more about that on season 14, episode two, on Patreon, hashtag commercial I’ve like literally just triggered something is TPS by saying that just now but that’s all good.
32:31 Thank you all. The but the point is, you know, again, ti parent, it’s 32:37 about frustrating. It’s all about testing the structural integrity. So from a TI parent point of view, guys, like just recognize that you know, what it’s there for? So rule number two is always listen to ESTPs.
Because if you do not listen to them, they’re like, Why do I even bother helping you and they’re just going to stop caring, and they’re going to turn off their Fe child and not care and not help anymore. Because if you’re not willing to listen, and you’re not willing to change, and you’re not willing to fix the structural integrities, that chinks in the armor, the cracks in the armor or in your integrity, basically, and get stronger as a result of their influence in your life, if you’re not willing to make those changes. They’re like, why am I bothering with you? Why am I going to be in a relationship with you? Right? Because I see like SD sCJ, NFP, Quadra people get so stuck in their comfort zone. And that comfort zone ultimately becomes weak over time.
It’s kind of like, you know, when it’s kind of like the earth taking over city is the you know, life after people kind of thing you know, or rot basically, it’s like the lead, they’re there. Their lives are rotting, they need to be freshened up, and it’s like, I need to, I need to apply some pain in that person’s life so that they can actually like have more structure or, you know, more structural integrity in our life, you know, so es teepees are looking for integrity, but they’re trying to build integrity and other people build strength of character and other people and that’s why es teepees are amazing. You know, and that’s why like, they’re trying to like in these two gentlemen, you know, flow state and Eric Strauss they’re trying to find my integrity basically, is the CS Joseph Psalm, a man of integrity, or is he or is he just another charlatan? Is he just another Tai Lopez’s another Gary Vaynerchuk can see no other Glenn Beck Although, honestly guys, I would maintain that time, like Tai Lopez. I mean, he may have been a charlatan in the past I don’t think he’s a charlatan now, I think I think he’s definitely earned earned his way.
I don’t think he’s, you know, like, everyone gives them a lot of crap about like, how he got there and yeah, he’s got some you know, shady, or sneaky rumors about him, but I mean, so to why right. So like, come on, but at the same time, you know, Gary Vee Enter Chuck IK is super major majorly charitable. And I don’t think Gary Vaynerchuk is a charlatan at all, you know, I just don’t claim back however, since I actually personally was on the receiving end of one of his rants on his, on on his website to the blaze.com through a friend of mine who died in Benghazi, I maintain that absolutely, he’s likely a charlatan. So I mean, I get why es teepees have this point of view like their NFP repellent, let’s be straight.
Not saying that NFP is NF peas are bad, I’m just saying like, they keep the depravity and the corruption of NF peas from forming, basically. So like, the best thing that could happen to an ENFP son or daughter is to have an ESTP father, quite frankly, in my opinion, because that ESTP will make sure that those children have integrity, because integrity is everything. So to them. And that’s what you know, that’s what ti parent is.
So, so far, we have, always take responsibility for your actions and, and, and give ESTPs attention. And then the second one is, is always listened to eat ESTP. And the third rule is, is always show appreciation for your ESTP always show appreciation, if you do not appreciate them, if you do not appreciate their harsh words with you, if you don’t appreciate them trying to create strength and build integrity, and get you new skills and have shared experiences with them. Like what the hell, like you have to recognize that they are extremely caring people is TPS.
And if you’re not, if you’re claiming, they’re not caring, like come on. Now, ESTPs are very afraid of becoming entitled. And they can become entitled, they really can. But then you just tell them, you know, well, you did this.
So now I’m going to do this in response so that they always understand that there’s boundaries, and you have to enforce boundaries with ESTPs. Because their Inferior function and their child function always push those boundaries, the INFJ, subconscious. And even ti parent can get a god complex sometimes, you know, and it can lead to arrogance, let’s be honest, any ti user is at risk of having that form of arrogance. But then again, so also is every F fi user, it’s just the arrogance actually manifests in different ways between ti And FYI, but Fe child extroverted feeling child, there’s their their sense of ethics, they’re extremely caring people.
And if you’re in love with an ESTP, or in relation to the ESTP, you have to show appreciation to the ESTP constantly, if you don’t show appreciation, then what are you doing? Like, you know, so. So, you know, like from so from my standpoint, like, you know, in regards to host Eric and flow state, for example, I have to show them appreciation for at least going out of their way to expose the charlatans out there, you know, and that includes like, that includes me being willing to be held accountable by these people in a public manner. And I’m definitely willing to be held accountable, no problem. But at the same time, like, I’m not going to subject myself to like, debates.
No, I’m not going to, I’m not going to do that. Because again, I’m not kidding really much any benefit from it either. You know, I have I have more important things I have to do with my time. But it’s also a nice to be able to use both these gentlemen for the sake of this lecture as an example as well.
So I would like to thank them for that opportunity. Because even some of their negativity towards me can definitely make me stronger. So. So yeah, always show appreciation to ESTPs.
They they need to be appreciated. And that also includes even if they’re wrong, because remember, their intention is to make you stronger is to make you better. They have noble intentions, for the most part, their intentions can be noble. It’s not that they’re always a bully.
They’re trying to heal you if they’re giving you harsh truths. It’s trying to fix you. It’s also to make you stronger and build higher strength of character like who doesn’t want that, you know what I’m saying? Well, the people that don’t want that are people who are depraved people who are stuck in their comfort zone, people who are lacking in strength people who are using their weakness as a crutch. People who are looking for handouts, for example, and that’s and that’s everything that an ESTP is against absolutely everything and ESTPs against.
And the next rule is always give your ESTP a choice if you’re in love or in a relationship with an ESD up, always give them a choice. If you are not giving them a choice, what the hell are you doing? Never, ever take away the choice of an ESTP ever. And here’s the thing, they’ll never let you. Because if you do, they will crush you violently, they all get very violent.
It’s like if you try to lock them in a room where they can’t get out, except for the door there one way or another that come into the door, because you’ve just taken away their choice, do not take away their choice. And it’s funny like it’s because of this issue right there where they have a choice. And because they have x rayed sensing hero, they can like lead squirrel around the world, everything’s like Google. And it’s like they have a low attention span.
It’s not that they have a really, they have actually the highest attention span. It’s just that they’re able to keep track of so much with their attention because they have extroverted sensing hero, right? But then society shits on these people. And it’s like, no, you have ADD ADHD, you need to take Ritalin, and it’s like, no guys can get the ESTPs off the psychotropic drugs, you know, they don’t really need it. You know, here’s another thing, you want to make your ESTP super mega depressed, take away their freedom, take away their choice.
You know, if you’re raising an ESTP take with their freedom, take away their choice. You’re like, Hey, you want choices? Well, you have to earn choices, right? You know how to raise them, spanking and ESTP is an absolute waste of time. If they’re an SI user, spanking works on si users, it does not work on es teepees what works on ESTPs, as you threaten them with taking away their choice and taking away their freedom. That’s what works, right? Don’t let ESTPs become entitled, because still ENFP super ego can still rot within the soul of the ESTP.
And they can become entitled if you are entitled as well. So even though and that depends on whether or not they’re going to listen to you what if they have nice guy syndrome because of X ray feeling child they might, they might allow you to doormat them in such a way where they end up picking up or mirroring your bad habits, your depravity. And then they can become entitled as well, if they’re not able to burn away your sense of entitlement. So it can go back and forth.
But remember, like entitlement itself is everything and ESTP is against like, Absolutely, they are against it. 42:21 But yeah, you know, you have to take you cannot take away their freedom of choice. Now it’s funny though, like, they can go too far. Because ESTPs can be really selfish with their freedom of choice.
And they completely put their desires over other people sometimes. And this can be an issue. So as if you’re an SI user, how do you deal with this? I’ve talked about this before, but you have to deploy something called Zanna toast Gambit. So this is very important, say for Eric Strauss’s girlfriend, to realize that when it comes to Eric, always give Eric a choice.
And you could just test him on this just be like, you know, what happens? Is he gonna get really raging angry, if I take away his choice. For example, if I take away his freedom of choice, yeah, he’s gonna freak out. So what you do is, is that always give host Eric choices always, always give him choices, just make sure that whatever choice you give him, benefits you. You know, as an SI user, you know, just make sure that whatever choice he picks you’re comfortable with when you present him choices, right? Of course, you know, this is usually how ENFPs you know, game the system, assuming she’s an ENFP.
But But regardless of anyone being an ENFP, or not in a relationship with an ESTP is still cannot take away their choice. So you can create the illusion of choice. And this is where people are like getting manipulative and whatnot. And they can use manipulation.
This is kind of one of the ways that ESTPs can be manipulated, be careful. But the thing is, is that, you know, an SI user still has to be comfortable with allowing their ESTP to have choices anyway. Because what if the ESTP starts making the wrong choices, that puts both of them at risk, the ESTP is often willing to take risks, because they always want to be able to have a story to tell and share with other people because it causes people to see that the ESTP is very strong, and maybe I should be loyal to the ESTP be part of the ESTP is Wolfpack maybe I should allow them to strengthen me and create strength of character and integrity in me all because I know that the ESTP is pretty tough because they’re willing to they’re up there, ballsy. They’re willing to take risks and the alpha of the sensors etc.
You know, I should I should listen to them, I should be loyal to them. I should I should I should I should because of their se hero. But they do that because they want to have shared experiences especially with those that they are in love with especially those they are in a relationship with if you take away their opportunity, like you know rule number one always have give them attention which means don’t leave them out of anything. ESTPs feel abandoned if they are left out of things.
It also if you take away their choice to participate in anything you are doing. That is a violation of rule one and number four, which is always give them a choice, you can’t do that stop violating multiple, multiple rules simultaneously, you could do that. Because if you’re negatively impacting their cognitive axis of SE, and ni simultaneously, you actually can end up breaking rule number one and four, and it caused some serious damage in your relationship with them to begin with. Why would you do this to yourself? Why would you do this to the ESTP, it’s very disrespectful, they don’t deserve it, they’re going out of the way to care about you, they’re going out of their way to contribute to you, and they get super mega depressed if they’re not properly contributing to you or to the relationship.
So what right do you have? So it is the SI users responsibility in a relationship with an ESTP to always give them a choice, just make sure that whatever choice you give them, benefits you as well. And this is not necessarily manipulative. Why? Because their interest based remember the ESTP deep down wants to create a win win anyway, because they want to create a win win. So they would have no problem with you presenting them choices that benefit you as well, because they want a win win.
That way, they don’t have to feel guilty. So it’s not necessarily manipulation. Think about that. See how this stuff can be used for good and evil guys, I’m taking a neutral position here, I’m not trying to like be some evil asshole about it, like, Come on, wake up, like this is not how it works.
Okay, So rule number four, always give them a choice. And I would have to say that rule number four is the most important of all eight rules. Rule number five. Always make sure your ESTP is comfortable.
ESTP is go out of their way with their se hero to make sure everyone else around them is comfortable. Which means because they do that they have every right to need to be comfortable themselves. Like when they’re sleeping in the bed in bed, they probably need to sprawl out and take up a lot of space in the bed and the freedom of like destroying the sheets, which can be really annoying to their si user in bed, let’s be honest. But the SI user sometimes can put up with it as a result of being loyal to their ESTP.
Because they know that the ESTP goes out of their way. And they appreciate the ESTP going out of their way to make the SI user control the time so they can at least let that one thing go for the sake of their ESTP lover and give them what they need. And this This is true for male and female ESTP is they just need the freedom because if they feel even in in a bed, like constricted in any way, they’re going to freak out because it’s like, oh, my freedom of choice is being violated. You’re violating rule number four already.
Rule number five is make sure that you are making your ESTP comfortable, especially because they go out of their way to make you comfortable. Now if you’re an SI user, new ESTP is making you uncomfortable. Don’t make them comfortable, because then you’re just enabling them don’t allow your ESTP to become entitled. And you can make them entitled, if you like overly comfort their ISTJ shadow and let that es TJ get stuck in its comfort zone and get too comfy, you can’t do that.
So you always have to be upfront with the ESTP and be willing to complain about them being uncomfortable. Because here’s the thing ESTPs that triple direct and they’re concrete, they’re not just going to be able to like, you know, figure out all the hidden subtext. So you ENFPs out there. Like, especially if Eric strawsons girlfriend is an ENFP.
Like, seriously, like, if you are an ENFP and you’re watching this, like don’t do this to Eric, it’s not fair. Like it’s actually not fair to him, because he needs to be comfortable at you know, but at the same time, like if he’s not making you comfortable. You have to tell him stop expecting like, you know, because you know, ENFPs are informative, right? Don’t expect him to try to translate everything that you’re saying you have to be willing to like just tell them straight up and be willing to complain about things that make you feel bad or uncomfortable so that he could change and is TP has no clue unless you tell them so be honest. You have to communicate folks.
So and the only way you’re going to do that is through potentially complaining yourself like you know, I was married to an SE hero. I was married to an ES FP at one point in time and I realized that I didn’t complain enough and my lack of because you know my Fe child and my si inferior I got so loyal that I inferior that like sometimes we just we put up with even more because we feel bad about ourselves if we complain too much because we don’t want to be looked at upon as a complainer, basically, but se hero needs someone who’s willing to complain to them so that they can fix themselves and have integrity. for themselves, so they don’t IRA, not hypocrites. And if you’re not giving them the information that they need to make sure that they’re contributing properly to the relationship, you are effectively setting them up for failure.
Stop doing, it’s not fair to the ESTP. How can you expect to be in a relationship with them? Seriously, don’t do. It’s not fair. Love your ESTP, please, God Almighty, we need them.
We need them to get rid of the charlatans, right. So always make sure your ESTP is comfortable provided they have made you comfortable first. If they’re not making you comfortable first with their se hero, then you need to complain so that they are making you comfortable. And then you in response, make them comfortable, recognize that this is a need that they have.
Okay. And then rule number six is when they give you input again, listen to them, like you would listen to TI to their ti parent. But the thing is also be willing to always help them out with paperwork, or filling out applications for like a job or helping them pay their taxes or handle all their legal crap for them. It stresses that it really stresses out ESTPs to have to deal with paperwork really stresses them out.
So based on that, give them everything that they need to know in that regard. Help them out with anything legal help them out with the paperwork. And then it has to do with process. And it has to do with boring minutiae.
They just can’t handle it, he’s TPS are scared of going to court because they don’t want to have to deal with all the mental pressures of understanding, you know, the legal process, it’s pretty scary to them, not that they would admit it, but it’s pretty scary, and they don’t want to have to deal with any of that crap. And oftentimes, they don’t even realize the consequences of their actions, you know. So because they don’t realize the consequences of their actions, it’s important that you tell them and then you protect them from legal trouble. You also protect them from tax issues, you You protect them from, 52:21 you know, help them always be because remember, they live so much in the moment, you know, you need to remember things for them, which I guess is also part of Rule five as well.
You know, always make them comfortable part of making them comfortable is also remembering things for them. They live so much in the moment, recognize that your ESTP is by default very forgetful. So just remember things for them, help them manage these areas of their life so that they can focus on contributing to the relationship and not actually making sure that their car registration is in on time. So they have tabs on the license plate, make that your job, make that your job, help your ESTP manage their finances, and their driver’s license and their their labels and their job applications.
Their stickers on their on their license plates. And of course, you know, the ESTP is going to go out of their way to find like an awesome deal with store because they don’t they love getting discounts the ICJ shatel always has to have a discount always right. And anyone is not willing to negotiate on a price with them just kind of really pisses off the Gladiator, like let’s be straight, the gladiators got a gladiator especially on a financial negotiation. And you can, you can do that, and they can negotiate through you but as long as you handle the fine print, and are protecting them from being put into a really terrible contract.
Because remember, they want to have a win win, and they’re really going to be looking to you for your help. Because usually an ESTP is in a relationship with an fit user, someone who’s rational. So that’s, that’s rule number six. Basically protect them on the legal front.
And also, do your research and present them research always to backup any of your claims. Don’t just make baseless claims actually go out of your way to do the research, get some citations, get some references together, and and show them so that way they that way, they have things to think about because they need to think about things. They they’re really good at processing truth. But if they’re not getting proper input, then that’s an issue.
So rule number six would be give ESTPs input, responsible, proper input. 54:36 You know, always share your input with them. You know, and then also like Rule three, remember, always appreciate them. That 54:41 also means also always give them feedback.
They need feedback, they need to know how you feel, right? It’s part of rule three was kept up to rule three again, you need to know how you feel about things. So always give them feedback, positive or negative feedback. They’re very neutral people. They just want to make sure that they’re contributing and doing that Best Buy you the person that they love.
And they only know that if you’re giving them feedback, always give your ESTP feedback. It’s super, super important. Okay. And then rule number seven is, don’t expect your ESTP to do the right thing.
Don’t expect them to have a moral standard. They are a moral people, not immoral people amoral, which means they lack morality entirely. So stop expecting them to behave morally like you. It’s a, it’s a double standard.
Stop putting double standards on es TPS, especially since they mirror you, and they’re gonna mirror back your behavior back to you to show you specifically, like, they’ll literally ask you the question, do you hear yourself right now? Do you even understand how you’re coming off right now? Or they’ll even be like, you know, hey, by the way, like, You’re behaving terribly right now, I’m going to behave terribly back at you right now. So you see exactly how you’re treating me give you a taste of your own medicine right? Now, that’s absolutely necessary and healthy for ESTP relationships. And remember that I just said earlier in this lecture, you know, ESTPs, need to make sure that they do not give themselves license to behave badly when other people behave badly. But they can mirror someone’s behavior back at them to show that person how they’re being treated.
How do you feel about it, this is how you’re treating me. And that’s very healthy for ESTP to do, but they shouldn’t use that as an excuse to behave badly or poorly themselves, let’s be honest. So they need that positive feedback for rule three. And they also need, you know, freedom of choice that prevents ESTPs from being depressed, because positive feedback shows them that they’re doing a good job, because they don’t know if they’re doing a good job or not.
Because you know, they lack that morality, they don’t understand the value of things for themselves, they have to go to others, like, hey, how do you feel about this? Or do you like this price? Or is this a good price for this? For example, they ask these questions, right? So if you’re loving your ESTP, don’t hold them to this double moral standard. Again, follow Rule three, give them that positive feedback, because that’s the only way that they can really value themselves expecting them to make a good decision. That’s not good. You can you can, you can expect them to make the correct decision, or the true decision or even a false one.
But you can’t ask them to like, what is it good or bad thing because they don’t know, they don’t know what is good or bad. They just know what is true or false. So stop holding them that standard, stop expecting them to behave that way. It’s like when an ESTP goes to like school or something, and it’s all super affiliative.
And everything’s about the rules and you know, do the right thing. Don’t expect your ESTP to follow the rules to have moral principles. It’s not about that. They don’t do that.
They can get to that point later on their own as they’re reaching higher levels of cognitive integration and reach and on the path to enlightenment, which is explored in season 19, episode two, also on Patreon, which is where it talks about how to become the best version of yourself for each of the 16 types. Yeah, they can do that. But it’s something that they do on their own self journey over time. It’s not something that you can expect from them, you can never have that expectation.
It’s wrong. That’s not not not towards an ESTP. And ESTP needs to have freedom of choice, right? They have to choose to develop moral principles. It’s not about you expecting them to have moral principles.
That’s ridiculous. Like, seriously, it’s ridiculous. Stop doing it, please. And then rule number eight.
Rule number eight is, as long as you’re making sure that you’re following rule number four, you know, rule number eight is like, it’s their demon function. It’s expert intuition demon. But it can also become very angelic. And just remember that people by default, ESTPs are basically largely unwanted by people because of any demon.
And they understand that they’re unwanted. And it’s because from their point of view, if somebody wants them, that person is a person who has strength, strength of character, they have integrity, they have the ability, they have the strength enough to endure someone as powerful and alpha as me, right. Which a lot of people could say is arrogant. It’s actually not.
So ESTP is when they find someone who truly actually really wants them. They respect that person, because they find that person is actually really strong. Because an ESTP is not going to get in a relationship with someone who’s weak, unless they see someone who’s weak and they’re making that person stronger. But for the most part, well, you know, ESTP men, they can be in a relationship with a weak woman, as long as the weak woman is willing to become strong and they’re seeing evidence, concrete evidence that this woman is changing and becoming stronger as a result of their influence.
And is TP woman, however, can’t be in a relationship with a weak man. And, like, if they have self respect that is, you know, the ESTP. Woman, they need a man of character, a man of strong, noble character, right. And it’s that man of character, that strength of character that this man has.
It’s this man who’s able to, like, you know, not only endure them because by that super high enough loyalty always makes the ESTP feel wanted through their expert intuition. Demon, okay. So it’s a really, really big deal for ESTPs, they absolutely need this, it’s, it’s super important. So rule number eight would naturally be be willing to make them feel wanted.
But it’s more of you know, you have to do this with consistent demonstrations of loyalty, which would also technically be fulfilling rule number one, but remember, these two functions, rule one, rule eight, they’re like on a cognitive orbit with each other. So which means what affects one can affect the other. Because if you’re showing loyalty to them all the time, because it takes a lot of strength and endurance to show an ESTP loyalty for their se hero because of that loyalty that se hero is like, hey, you know, I’m going to make you feel wanted by my ni inferior through and I aspirational. Because you make me feel wanted by always being there for me when I asked him you because I know I got on my way to always be there for you.
Right? So rule eight, like, make them feel wanted, but in the right way. Because if we don’t make them feel wants in the right way, that demon will come out and it will destroy your future it will take every future you have and it will also destroy your reputation. Which if you think about it, that’s exactly what flow state and Eric Strauss, you know, intend to do, you know, from their YouTube channels, destroy my reputation, because they view me as some kind of charlatan, right? Because ENFP super ego, they are trying to destroy all forms of entitlement. And they see me they perceive me as somebody who is entitled, and you know, and then they may like label me as someone who’s indignant, who is like someone who’s behaving poorly as a result of perceiving unfair treatment, because from their point of view, it’s fair.
Well look at it this way. I’m not saying that flow state or Eric Strauss are bad people as a result in that regard. Because the thing is, is that from their point of view, if CS Joseph really is the real deal, he should be able to endure the punishment that I’m loving on him. Because if he’s just a house of cards, if his house is just built on the sand, it’ll topple over.
See, I’m right. See, I’m right. I was right about him all along. But if I endure their punishment, and prove to them that regardless of anything that they do for me, I’m still going to stand tall and my house is built upon the rock, and there’s nothing they can do.
Okay, yeah, maybe CS Joseph message did stand the test of time it did stand my testament Durance he actually does have strength of character, well, then I now have no choice but to respect him and accept what he’s saying is true, you know, for example, but of course, I’d recommend that they just don’t blindly accept that they just take what I’m saying and actually test it for themselves, and figure out this themselves and then be willing to have the humility to admit if they’re wrong. I have to have the humility to admit that I’m wrong. And I already have kind of admitted being wrong for a few things. Like for example, I believe I miss type Drake.
We’re going to be doing a video about that very soon. 1:03:55 Where I’ll be taking responsibility about Miss typing Drake. I think he’s actually an ESTP not an highest TP. So my bad on that, but we’ll get that figured out.
I also took responsibility for my actions in C I’m following rule one right now. Right. So I am also taking I just took responsibility in season 17 think it was the subconscious episode, where I’m talking about the competing theories between my mentors theory and my theory about child development. I’m also be taking responsibility again in season 17.
For another thing, because I actually changed my mind about something based on some additional evidence, another argument that I had with my with my mentor, oh, no, sorry that the first thing wasn’t about child development. It was the it was a competing theory about gender, for example, and how and Jen and besides the mind and gender and whatnot, because there’s a few intricacies that I haven’t been 100% sure about, and I’ve always been will go out of my way to be upfront with the audience about those things that I’m not sure about. But for the most part other people I am, I am very, very sure about that for sure. It’s kind of you know, it’s really interesting, like, you know, from flow states point of view, he actually told me on the phone like because because Eric Strauss first started out saying, I’m an ENT, TJ, and now he says, I’m an ES TJ.
So he’s changed his mind about that. So it’s cool to see that Eric can at least, you know, change his mind, but like flow state, from his point of view, he says, I’m an ENFP, which I find really interesting. And if he thinks I’m an ENFP, I mean, I guess I would make sense because flow state actually naturally views me as a charlatan, and ENFPs are like the out of all the 16 types have the highest likelihood of becoming charlatans, let’s be honest. And no, this is not me trying to crap on ENFPs.
I’m being straight. Because while an ENFP can be a charlatan, and they’re very corrupt, prayed for him, they can also be advocates for people and actually help extract forgiveness out of people of authority, and get forgiveness for people who may or may not deserve it, which is absolutely necessary if our race is actually going to be saved. And it was basically can end up creating ENFPs who are the most important to actually evolve the types if you think about it, in the long run. So just something to be aware of.
But no, I’m not an ENFP. I’m not, but I was I was actually overjoyed when, when flowstate actually suggested that I was an ENFP. Because it’s like, well, at least someone’s starting to at least someone’s willing to accept that, you know, my definitions of expert intuition. Introverted intuition are true, because he would have had to, to in order to come to that conclusion.
So I was very happy about that. But But anyway, and then, of course, there’s another guy out there who says I’m an INTJ. And it’s so weird, like, okay, but that’s all in the story, you know. So, anyway, those are the eight rules.
So in summary, the eight rules are Rule number one is always give attention to your ESTP. Like, always give attention to them. Also, always take responsibility for your actions for rule number one, rule number two is always listen to them. Rule number three is always give them feedback, font positive or negative show appreciation for them.
Rule number four is always give them a choice, never take away their choice. Rule number five is always make them comfortable after they first made you comfortable. You know, otherwise, they’ll get entitled. So watch out for that.
And then also help them out with legal stuff. That’s the next rule rule six. Also, like always, make sure you backup your claims with research and citations and references with anything that you’re doing. So that, so give them give them valuable input.
Basically, that’s rule six, give them valuable input. And that also includes like anything legal handling that rule number seven is don’t expect them to have like, morals. Don’t, don’t hold them to a double standard of having moral principles that’s wrong to them, especially emotionally. And then rule number eight is always make them feel wanted, but make them feel wanted in the right way.
You have to do it the right way, which is basically consistent demonstrations of loyalty, and consistency. And always be willing to take full responsibility for your actions. Don’t hide anything from them. Don’t hide.
That’s, that’s basically, rule number eight, don’t hide anything from them. So anyway, these are the eight rules of how to love and ESTP. And God, I hope the audio is good, and that this lecture is good. I really hope it is.
So anyway, folks, thank you for watching. If you found this lecture, useful, helpful, educational, enlightening, please subscribe to the channel, and leave a like and also comment below. And I really liking I’m really liking the season season 27 Yes, I know that I jumped from 22 to 27. But like, I just, you know, I plan on all the seasons at that time.
And every now and it’s like, you know, I’m in the mood to do this. I’m just gonna do this, you know what I mean? Like, you know, are we gonna do this or whatever. So it can happen, but just kind of had a gut feeling that this lecture was kind of necessary for the audience, this lecture series season 27. So I just wanted to get it out.
So, and I very much care about this audience and whatnot. So hopefully, these will be a help for your relationships. And so, thank you very much for watching, and I’ll see you guys tonight.