Fundamentally and essentially, ENFJs are our Mentors—our instructors, coaches, and guides. They stand confidently at the intersection of idealism and structure with hope oriented toward inter-personal relationships and the creation of a better future for humanity. Achievement of their vision depends upon a direct and methodical framework for action that can be managed and monitored.
As with every personality type, the linkage of the eight cognitive functions with specific cognitive attitudes uniquely animates them. For the ENFJ, these are Extraverted Feeling (Fe) Hero, Introverted Intuition (Ni) Parent, Extraverted Sensing (Se) Child, and Introverted Thinking (Ti) Inferior within their Ego. Further, their Unconscious consists of Introverted Feeling (Fi) Nemesis, Extraverted Intuition (Ne) Critic, Introverted Sensing (Si) Trickster, and Extraverted Thinking (Te) Demon. Thus, ENFJs possess many qualities not always evident to others such as:
ENFJs exemplify self-sacrifice. They possess a heart-felt mindfulness for the wellbeing of others and an innate desire to care for them. ENFJs lead their lives both empathetically and ethically. They place the needs of others above their own, hoping that others will view them as good and worthy of care in return. Unfortunately, if immature, they may create covert contracts with family, friends, and others which have the potential to jeopardize otherwise healthy relationships. For them, growth and maturity follow development of their sympathetic understanding of others and work for other’s benefit with increasing purity of motivation.
ENFJs are socially oriented. They are keenly aware of how everyone feels, and work to lighten the loads of those who are burdened and downtrodden. They seek to create memorable events and activities for everyone to share and enjoy. Regardless of whether the event is a business meeting or holiday party, the ENFJ is skilled and reliable in organizing the gathering to be perfect. Joy to them is building a robust personal brand that represents the value they give others. While a degree of loyalty may be expected in return for the experiences, they have the interests of others at heart in all they do.
ENFJs are concerned about their self-worth. Worried that they may be lacking in moral integrity or that they’re under-appreciated in the eyes of those they love and respect, they can be challenged with a sense of self-doubt or shame. These negative emotions lie at the foundation of a personal need for external validation and appreciation, potentially leading to the formation of covert contracts thereby preventing the development of healthy relationships. In the absence of affirmation, the ENFJ can lose motivation, purpose, and the desire to grow. With affirmation, however, certainty replaces uncertainty and they become dedicated leaders and committed partners working toward the ideal.
ENFJs risk being exploited. For them, it’s all about how everyone feels rather than what everyone thinks. Their own feelings are secondary which presents risks and challenges. Their desire to help others, to seek the happiness of others, drives feelings of guilt when they fail in the endeavor. Guilt challenges their ability to make good decisions and makes them susceptible to manipulation by unscrupulous individuals. ENFJs likely will see through overt bids at manipulation but may be blind to more subtle attempts, which may put them in peril.
ENFJs are not impulsive. Always organizing and planning, they are naturally responsible with desires, passions, and goals. Self-assurance usually manifests relative to their personal ambition and aspirations. Temperance and moderation abound in the contemplation of their longer-term objectives as well. They are likely to chart a specific course forward being mindful of the potential for diversions and distractions along the way. Continued progress is often assured through planning for such obstacles. Understanding that some desires or goals are without merit, ENFJs establish priorities carefully. They know that willpower is best channeled toward achievement of those dreams cherished most.
ENFJs question others’ intentions. It is their sense of personal responsibility that also contributes to their mistrust of the desires and motivations of others. They can, in fact, become jaded and even critical of what they perceive as ill-informed and irresponsible intentions and decisions. Granted, this can lead to suspicions of betrayal and other unverified assumptions upon which they quickly judge and act, risking important and loyal relationships in the process. On the other hand, this aspect of their cognition contributes significantly to their effectiveness in helping others improve. It opens doors to opportunities to teach and train.
ENFJs struggle with loyalty. They have difficulty accepting another’s promise of commitment out of an expectation of abandonment. Ultimately, this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as they contend with their own inadequacies in loyalty and commitment, forcing others to question the relationship. Every interaction is tinged with “it could be different this time” despite historical proof of reliable, committed behavior. Maturity comes as they learn to trust others and give the benefit of the doubt. In maturity, they are confident with other’s loyalty to them, which gives them capacity to have faith themselves. In this wisdom, their trust blossoms.
ENFJs are without guile. They are open and have a pure desire to share with others enjoyable and memorable experiences using their skills in organizing and directing meetings, events and activities. These natural abilities once fully developed ensure sophistication and refinement in all they do. They become masters of their craft both in the workplace and in the home.
ENFJs are future-focused. They are idealists. They inherently place less emphasis on tradition or events of the past because the road they follow is the one forward. They may be forgetful and impatient, despite their insistence to the contrary, but they compensate by storing memories in notes, pictures, objects, or even people who effectively act as totems in order to facilitate remembrances. ENFJs may experience irregular patterns of activity, work, and sleep until they establish or re-establish self-discipline and personal organization. However, when they commit themselves to their plans, they are undeterred in achievement. Onward!
ENFJs confirm their logic. At times, they may doubt their own reasoning or fear that their conclusions may be inaccurate. They want to know they’re right because they suspect they’re wrong. This uncertainty motivates their search for accuracy, validation and confidence. Through conscientious testing and verification, ENFJs develop exceptional intelligence and unmatched skills in comprehension and judgement.
ENFJs are sensitive to ridicule of their judgments and opinions. When others flippantly dismiss their viewpoints, they perceive it as a challenge to their self-worth or to the value they want to create for others. In reaction, ENFJs have the capacity to engage the offender directly and challenge their logic. They may criticize and disparage the offender’s conclusions and intelligence. Although mentally tough in this regard, they only seek the opportunity to share their conclusions and validate their reasoning.
These little know qualities, taken in the aggregate, make ENFJs some of the most authentic, caring and concerned individuals among us. Their empathy transcends and their benevolence transforms. They assume leadership roles in guiding people toward improved lives and hopeful futures. In doing so, they are direct, initiating and methodical, leaving nothing to chance or interpretation. While they may struggle with the self-doubt and insecurity that drives their need for communication and affirmation, they understand that genuine caring makes the most difference in another’s life. Secure in their worth and intellect, ENFJs are the most diligent of all in engagement and action.
C. S. Joseph
Founder, CEO – CSJ.life
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