CS Joseph responds to the Acolyte member question, what makes a good INXJ leader.
Transcript:
Hey what’s up ego hackers? Welcome to the CS Joseph podcast. I’m your host CS Joseph just finished a really nice cigar Nether laranja scuro. Because for some reason I can’t get my hands and oscillate hosts right now. And my favorite law Roma that Guba postion.
Also right now, sadly, but probably have another one later today I’m not entirely sure. So yeah. But while I’m quite stemmed right now, from the last cigar, I figured I’d just continue on with the show. So today’s question is, how can an AI heroes for INFJs, an INTJ? is how can INFJs and INTJs be good leaders? And what areas should they be leading in? It’s a great question.
Glad to have the opportunity to answer this question. Because in a lot of ways, they are leaders, I talked about how INFJs, for example, are the tip of the spear. And ultimately, going to be the tip of the spear that brings humanity together, forms that bond between humanity so that humanity can have a better future, ultimately, so humanity can be free, right? Because that’s what I hear was all about. Personal freedom.
Personal freedom is absolutely everything. The thing is, though, is that oftentimes, and I heroes spend their freedom on themselves, instead of actually being liberators, and freeing other people. And that can be like a serious problem over time, especially like when INTJ is often used, like other people is like a, you know, steps in a ladder to their own success, right? Or how INFJ is use other people, you know, to be attached to those people in hopes that as a result of having those attachments, they feel more valuable, they feel more useful. The problem is, is that as we’ve seen, attachment is actually unhealthy.
You know, people especially you know, I’ve noticed a lot of and I here’s my life, INTJs, and INFJs, because they’re expert thinking trickster, expert, feeling trickster, they’re trickster functions, ends up causing them to desire to understand what their ni and hero attachments actually are, and what they’re all about. We go deep in this on ego hacking your fear course, it’s available for preorder now, and I highly, highly recommend it, everyone checks that out. Very much so. But regardless, regardless of regardless of attachments in your life, you really have to get to a point where you are detached actually, so that when you have that your attachments actually become bonds and not attachments.
I n J’s often read this book called attached to talk about attachment style, right? attachment style, and this is an area of life where INFJs can actually lead right, where they spend a lot of time leading other people to actually become more detached because that means as a result, people are having healthy bonds instead of unhealthy attachments, you know, because here’s the reality situation, the one thing that that book attached where they talk about attachment styles, whether or not you’re avoidant, or anxious, avoidant or anxious or secure within your attachment style, all of those attachment styles ultimately are wrong. They are bad, they are bad. And this is an because those attachments and that become shackles that hold people back that hold INFJs down. But the thing is, is that everybody ends up having these problems over time, like literally everybody, okay? And that too can end up becoming a serious, serious issue for INFJs within the context of their life, and it’s really sad.
It’s really horrible, actually, if you think about it, because attachments ultimately are one way streets where INJ’s end up giving to other people without receiving anything back. It doesn’t matter if you’re anxious. It doesn’t matter if you’re avoidant. It doesn’t matter if you’re secure in your attachment style, because the concept of attachment alone is unhealthy is wrong.
This is why I maintain that book attached is actually really bad advice, especially for INFJs. But I’ve noticed it’s INFJ to actually consume that book and live their life around that book on a consistent basis. It’s funny because the the person who introduced me to see that book is actually an INTJ that you know, I used to have a relationship or maybe a situation ship as she would Call it at a few times, you know, so before I met Railgun, for example, you know that that was a, that was a rough relationship to be in. But she exposed me to the book attached.
And after reading it and considering what it says, I’ve just realized that overall, that model is entirely unhealthy. And the thing is, though, is that attachment basically is, in my opinion, the number one area that an NI hero can lead people away from, as INFJs get the losers out of their life as INTJ is often are usually just avoidant of being attached to anyone, because they just can’t let go of that person actually got to know an INTJ recently, who, for example, could not let go of their axe, right, she would refer to him as like, like her her twin flame, basically, and she couldn’t let go for him. And honestly, you know, when you get attached, it’s really hard to let go, you got to understand that that attachment is not actually a real bond, a bond assumes like a two way street, instead of you know, a one way street. And I go really, really deep on this, especially in the INFJ section of the ego hacking your fear core series that we’re about to release.
Again, it’s up for pre order right now, get in on preorder pricing, while you still can, because the price will be going up in about two weeks time when the course releases. All right. So check that out, make sure you guys are getting in on it. Weisel can also when you do buy it, you get all of season 19 And all of season 14, part one, which is the golden pear intimacy lectures.
And all of that is just included when you get the ego hacking your fear course, for free, we’re just tossing it in there. That way you guys have all the information that you need, before you get ego hacking your fear, because ego hacking your fear is a sequel to season 19 content, which is personal growth and cognitive development. The problem is, is that every single human being out there actually has attachments, and attachments are ultimately very unhealthy. Doesn’t matter what attachment style you have.
But an attachment is wrong. And attachment actually ends up causing a lot of problems over time. And it’s just something that you should stay away from entirely. Because one thing that I’ve noticed about INFJs.
And as much as everyone else, they’re kind of like the leaders of attachment basically. And they end up becoming the leaders in unhealthy relationships. Where inf j’s are being gaslit, consistently, maybe even mind controlled by people in their lives, or INTJ is end up forming unhealthy attachments to people and never can really get anywhere with their relationships, especially their sexual relationships. But not only that, they can also form unhealthy attachments with members of their own family, maybe some friends, and it really opens them up to abuse, which is really sad if you think about it, because these types have a lot of performance anxiety through extroverted sensing inferior.
And due to that, due to that attachment style, or oh, it’s not really an attachment style. But due to that proclivity of performance anxiety, they really think that when they are attached to a person, if they’re not really receiving anything that they’re giving back to them, they have a really hard time letting go. The thing is that human beings in general do this, they really do this in general. And this ends up becoming a serious problem for them over time, like a really big problem.
All human beings have that this is an area where INFJs can really lead the human race. And this is bit by making sure that they are living as an example to other people on a consistent basis. An example of a person who is able to form healthy bonds with other people, right? This is why we have you know, the cognitive origin of connection or intimacy for INFJs, which is all about forming healthy bonds. That’s the one thing that they want more than anything out of life with the INTJ.
It’s about reverence that’s their cognition, which is about deep respect, where their bonds are actually based on acceptance, where they want to increase their own level of acceptability. This is why we have INTJ is out there, like Andrew Ryan, for example, or Rollo Tomassi, for example, using their Extraverted Feeling trickster, it’s for Extraverted Feeling mastery because they’re trying to increase people’s level of acceptability, basically, and the higher acceptability they themselves have. And then they help other people become more acceptable. It allows them to, you know, form healthy bonds with people instead of attachment.
Right? That’s a huge, huge issue. Because all attachment is unhealthy. It really is entirely unhealthy. All attachments, I don’t care if you have a secure attachment style, the concept of attachment is wrong.
It is bad. It will actually lead you to having a worse life for yourself over time and there’s really nothing you can do about And here’s the thing and I heroes have a hard time letting go. But this is why I N J’s out of all the 16 types have this tendency to door slammed people to cut people away and cut people off, right? Well, it’s because they have to because they love so deeply, they attach so easily, they attach so deeply, and they have to protect themselves from these attachments. And this is an area that they will lead.
And if they, if they are leading by example, by managing their attachments and ensuring that their attachments are actually bonds and not attachments instead, as they lead by example, other people in their lives will notice this, and then actually adopt that similar standard, as a result that the INFJ is leading this area for humanity, right? This is really, really important. This is basically how an INFJ can actually contribute socially to that perspective. The thing is that from the INFJ perspective, those attachments, they can also be in as much as they are attached to people just like INTJ is can be with their Fe trickster, that Extraverted Thinking trickster of the INFJ is that they get too attached to ideas, they get too attached to authorities, they get too attached two ways of thinking, and it can really actually ruin their lives as well as ruin the lives of other people. Because what ends up happening is that these INFJ types, take their attachments, and they actually encourage other people to be attached to those same things, right.
So it ends up creating a macro cycle of abuse as a result of being a poor example to other people with their attachments in their life. This is why it’s really up to INFJs to be leaders in this area for the rest of humanity, it’s extremely important to manage their attachments properly and not to be attached to the wrong ideas to not be attached the wrong people i n J’s both have these bad habits, especially when extra thinking parrot is underdeveloped. And then the INTJ leads with Fe trickster or when the extroverted feeling parent is underdeveloped and the INFJ leads with Extraverted Thinking trickster. So what they have to do is properly develop their parent functions, right, where the INFJ realizes what truly is actually socially acceptable, which ideas should actually be avoided, which things they should not be attached at all.
So the reality of the situation is, is that I N J’s need to become detached, right? They need to become detached, consistently. And I’ve had the honor of knowing Jamba Dean, which we recently introduced John badeen, to the community here on YouTube, and also on the podcast recently with our eat introducing ego hacking your fear episode that released just a few days ago, and he’s actually going to be on the show. More often. He’s also going to be on our new YouTube channel that we’re about to launch for ego hackers for the community.
And he’s going to be making tons of contributions to the community there. But he is, in my opinion, the most detached INFJ I have ever met. And it’s so good because he’s using his living virtue of chastity, according to his temple wheel, where he’s helping other people become more chaste, for example. And what that means is that chastity, the true definition of chastity is actually do the best of what you got, because it’s what you got.
But it also means to limit yourself from being polluted, right. And people oftentimes get polluted by the attachments that they have in their life. Right? The same thing goes with the modesty living virtue of INTJ is because they can be attached to possessions, they can be attached to materialism, they can be attached to accolades of success as they’re trying to get their cognitive origin of reverence, also known as deep respect, when in reality situation is that it’s just it’s all cheap. Attachment is cheap, is there is no depth to attachment, no depth whatsoever.
And it’s that kind of depth that needs to be entirely eliminated. It needs to be like like that shallow attachment, it just, it just needs to go away. Attachments are too shallow, they just need to go away. Bonds are what matter that two way street, right? So, from that perspective, you know, when you’re looking at when you look at the bonds that form, if you as an INFJ, are actually making sure that you your relationships are only actually bonds instead.
And it’s not just relationships, it’s also with people it’s also your relationship to ideas as well. Write an exchange of ideas, which which ideas that you are adopting which ideas that you are bonded to those ideas that give back to you as you live your life according to those ideas according to those principles according to those standards, right. All of that matters. And then, because you’re leading by that example.
Much like how Jesus Christ lived by that example, as well. He did not allow himself to get attached. It was all about bond so that he would have bonds with his disciples bonds with his friends, bonds with the people that he really cared about. Right? honor me, and I will honor you, right? That is right there the perfect example of what a real bond is, instead of an attachment, which is shallow.
And that’s a personal standard that he had for himself, when he was living his life, up until the point that he died in His death, burial, resurrection, et cetera. So utilize him as an example as to what an INFJ should be doing in terms of leadership. This is how they lead, it’s really about getting away from attachment leading by example, with bonds instead. And here’s the thing, if you realize as an INFJ, that you’re not really bonded with somebody, or you’re not getting something back in return for your investment in particular ideas much as well as people, cut those ideas out of your life, cut those people out of your life, unless you actually have a really nice two way street, a real bond between you and those ideas between you and those principles between you and those standards, between you and those people in your life.
You know, it’s not enough for an INFJ to just cut people out of their life as they should do, obviously, to avoid attachment and continue to be detached. But they need to go even further than that, and do the same thing with ideas, standards, principles, et cetera. So mega important, that’s how you as INFJs should be leading primarily in your life. Otherwise, what ends up happening is, as a result of you being so attached, and giving into these shallow attachments, instead of these deep bonds in your life, what ends up happening is that other people will start behaving the same because you are behaving that way human beings naturally mirror each other, right? And you want to make sure that you’re living your life properly in an unpolluted way.
Not unlike how like, you know, the Buddha, for example, he was an INTJ, when he came up with Buddhism, for example, where he embraced is living virtue of modesty, instead of his deadly sin of Vainglory, for example, right. And as much as you know, for example, John Bodeen, even Jesus Christ, from chastity, do the best of the what you got, because it’s what you got, right. And it’s funny because I was actually taught that by an INFJ, subconscious, by a man by the name of flatfeet, the guild leader have chosen in World of Warcraft, one of my, one of my old mentors that I had in my early 20s, he’s a good man still plays World of Warcraft to this day, but still a very good man, a very awesome ESTP that I respect, and his example has been excellent. And that’s one way that he has led with his INFJ subconscious, right.
And if an ESTP can do that, seriously, i and j is out there. You guys have no excuse. If an ESTP is able to do that. Come on, you should be doing that too.
You should really be contributing this form of leadership to humanity as we know it. So yeah. And folks, thanks for watching and listening, and I’ll see you guys in the next episode.
