CS Joseph discusses how Templar types (ESTP, ISTP, ENFJ, INFJ) can be abusers of those around them.
Transcript:
Are you noticing what’s happening? Oh hackers. Welcome to CS Joseph podcast. I’m your host CS Joseph Welcome to the show. We’re going to be discussing an interesting subject or topic for today relating to beta quadra, also known as the Templars.
For those of you aren’t familiar with the Cuadras it’s been a while since we’ve talked about Cuadras Cuadras are gone into pretty deep in the season 17 playlist here on the YouTube channel and also on the podcast. Please listen to all of season 17 In order to get the deeper meanings behind the terminology that I’m using in this particular episode. But more succinctly, when discussing the Templars and beta quadra, in their particular episode within season 17, I did talk about how they are the greatest hypocrites of all of the types. And today’s episode, which is related to directly to today’s acolyte question is, other than being hypocrites? What are other ways Templar types are abusive to people in their lives? What a question, unbelievable question.
Given that, I’ve had Templars in my life all four Templars consistently raised by an ENFJ, three of my cousins were STPs to ESTPs. One STP when ISTP probably the the boss that has ever had the most impact in my life was an ISTP. Being married to an ESTP, mentored by an ESTP, also mentored by an INFJ. Mentoring an INFJ, it’s just Templars are probably the four out of the four.
These four types out of the 16 are probably the types that have absolutely dominated the majority of my attention in my life, and I have given the most and received the most from Templars throughout my life. Therefore, I’m in a very unique position to understand them, because I definitely am aware of their hypocrisy is and also aware of other ways with which they are abusive to others. But for the sake of this video, just to keep it short and brief, I’m going to talk about one thing. The one thing, the one thing that I personally just can’t deal with when it comes to Templar types and how they abuse people.
And don’t get me wrong. All types can be abusive, in some way, shape, or form. And to remind you, Templars are ESTP is ISTPs, ENFJs and INFJs those types specifically. And I would not say that these four types are likely to become more abusive than other people, I will never make that claim not going to.
Because the Wayfarers have it pretty bad too. Crusaders have it pretty bad as well. Philosophers have it pretty bad, like, like all the four quadrants, there’s definitely some abuse there. And some types more than others.
But I’m not going to be the one who is going to be pointing the finger because honestly, everyone is just as bad as everybody else. In a lot of ways, some areas are not but most areas they are so so yeah. Yeah, Templar types in the number one way that I maintained that they are abusive to other people. And really, it’s it’s not exactly you know, how they’re abusive.
It’s more of like why they are abusive and who they are abusive to, I think is the real the real issue. I mean, how they’re abusive. I mean, it’s pretty, it’s pretty simple. It’s usually just comes down to miss prioritization and neglect.
Taking people for granted taking advantage of other people literally through neglect, and not wanting to spend their time and attention on the people closest to them. It would probably be the how, more succinctly but also the who, because Templars have this problem where they can treat somebody at the same level as people who are within their own family, which causes them to treat their family less because they’re treating other people outside. A family just as well. And that can be a huge problem.
Actually, like my second coaching client ever was an ENFJ woman who just happened to be engaged to one of my best friends who was an ENFP very capable World of Warcraft player, an amazing raid leader. Definitely got a few realm firsts in his time. And absolutely loved that player versus environment, as well as roleplay, within World of Warcraft never could really get him to PvP. But he had everything else down and one of the best druid healers I’ve ever met back in the day when I actually did play World of Warcraft and actually did care about MRP cheese.
Since then, I just, I just don’t care anymore. Hardest I try. I really can’t. I’m just like, wow, I’m just wasting my time I could be making money right now I could be making people happy right now, I could be making myself happy right now.
And this is not making me happy. So I just, I just move on, you know, it’s kind of like that same feeling you have after you’ve given up your pornography addiction, and then you see pornography, and you’re just like, yeah, what’s the point? This is an absolute waste of time. And that’s just kind of like my view on, you know, playing RPGs. I played them for like my entire 20s.
And honestly, I’m just I’m glad that I gave up the habit. And I’ve moved on to something else. So. But yeah, it’s it’s pretty awesome.
To be free of such addictions. But anyway, he still plays World of Warcraft to this day, I still see him online on Battle dotnet. And he’s still playing the new expansion. I think he’s loving it.
But anyway, he was getting he was getting married to this ENFJ girl silver pair. He said, You know, it was really great. They, they had really good sexual chemistry. She was like a very good person, just the problem was is that anytime there was somebody else present, be it his son was not hers, by the way, but also, like any family member or anything, or whenever they were in public, she would spend all her time and attention on those other people instead of him.
And it became obvious to him from his Extraverted Feeling critic perspective that she was not actually willing to make him the top priority, the number one priority in his life, which is really hard for a man because you know, it is written that thou shalt not have any gods before Me, which means Thou shalt not have anything above me as your man, as a man would tell a woman basically in the context of a relationship. That’s why you know, women are ultimately commanded to submit and submit to a man because then through proving submission, that they do not put anyone else or anything above their husband basically. So we had a really big problem with this girl. So he suggested to her that she hired me, and we have a conversation.
And basically, it was revealed within this session. And by the way, I do have permission to say these things. I’m not violating a nondisclosure agreement here, I do have permission to talk about this. She basically, she basically admitted to me that she is a big time people pleaser that she has a really hard time prioritizing other people prioritizing her man above everyone else, because you know, she’s like the squirrel, you know, she sees new people like, ooh, ah, you know, and she wants to go, make them happy and pleased them and give them a good experience and be memorable to them, and make them feel good.
But my friend was like, Well, why isn’t she doing that, to me, 100% of the time, I mean, I’ve had a really hard life, I have hard days, I need my woman to do that for me 100% of the time, instead of just only, you know, and he’s even said it’s gotten to the point where he’s had to, like, remove people from his life specifically, so that he could have and dominate all of her attention for himself. Basically. She was getting mad at him for like, not tying the knot yet. And he’s like, he just kept on putting off the wedding put off the wedding put off the wedding because of this particular situation.
And she just couldn’t handle it. You know, this is an ENFJ. So funny because I was in a three year relationship with an ENFJ. And I actually felt the same exact way she would consistently put, she would consistently put people above me on a regular basis, even her own family, sued him and violate my privacy behind my back and say things about our relationship to other people blatantly disrespected.
And no doubt and definitely not allowed and never going to happen. So as a result of that, it’s one of the reasons why I ultimately broke up with that ENFJ and a few of you here on the channel, who are still in my entourage from those days, knew her and knew what she was like. And, you know, she seems sweet on the surface, but she’s a very cool person, especially When she was jealous, back home, and you know, eventually it just turned into a super bad situation I couldn’t really be with her anymore so yeah. But that’s the thing like, I really struggle with the fact that every template type out there has this problem where they will put complete strangers above their own flesh and blood.
That is how they are the most abusive in my opinion to be in people’s lives. The reason why this happens it’s something that actually Stephanie talked about because Stephanie is a Templar she runs she runs the women as well as the the special interest group the sexuality special interest group on our Discord servers want to get on Discord, go to CS Joseph dot life forward slash ego hackers. People really, like honking, you know, they really liked to get their honk on these videos. I don’t know why.
It’s like, dang, it sounds like they even watched him, you know what I’m saying? So, anyway. Templars treat people outside of the family the same as they treat people inside of the families, another way of looking at it, but eventually, they’ll actually start treating people outside of their family better. So it starts like it starts out even but then eventually, they’ll just start treating everybody else outside of their immediate family better than everyone else inside their immediate family. What this does is it ends up creating a lot of resentment creates, it ends up leading to bitterness, and then eventually hatred on the part of their family members because they treat everyone else better.
And so back to Stephanie. So Stephanie basically revealed to me that there is a reason why Templars do this. And that’s basically because you know, don’t forget, like Templars, they’re experts sensing and there’s extroverted feeling simultaneously, which means they are externally focused people, they don’t really have a lot of internal awareness, they really don’t. And that lack of internal internal awareness basically reduces their self awareness.
And because of their lack of self awareness, they naturally behave and eventually actually feel like they aren’t very worthy. So because they themselves do not feel like they are worthy, they end up treating themselves like trash, which then because they are treating themselves like trash, as a result of them being so external, or because they’re in because they are naturally. So external, with being Fe users and SES at the same time, when they treat themselves like trash, they end up treating those closest to them like trash simultaneously. Like my dad, my dad is a great example.
Growing up, I had to suffer going to church, basically, every single day of my life, except for Saturday, there was some kind of church related activity every day, except for Saturday, and Saturday was the day that we just did nothing but chores. And my dad literally forced me against my will to serve at the church, over and over and over throughout my entire childhood, as the only way that I could derive any amount of self worth has an Extraverted Feeling child, if I just would continue to serve and serve and serve and serve and not get anything in return for it and not get any any appreciation or any gratitude. My dad said that our purpose as our family was to serve others and be there for other people, even though we our family suffered. And my dad gave away so much money to the church, and we continued to live in our little trailer.
And you know, and we could never buy anything, we could never afford anything because he gave all of our money away. It was it was really frustrating and really annoying. So I just, I couldn’t abide in that I just could not, I could not handle that. And then like eventually the church just got more abusive over time, abusive in terms of, you know, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse in certain situations.
And it was just a really hostile environment for me to be personally in and it became a very hostile environment, actually, towards our family, to the point that we didn’t even leave until after my brother in law, left the church because he was publicly shamed in front of everybody at church for doing nothing, here’s this entirely publicly shaped. And there’s it’s just like, wow, and then and only then did my dad decide to leave the church. And then when we did leave the church they found another church and another church they gotta be serving something they gotta be always be following something right. And so it was just it just it just became horrible and all of us offered for it.
And, you know, even he would even make excuses, you know, we’re just staying for the families, we’re gonna stay in this abusive environment, you know, for the other families who are also in this abusive environment, instead of, you know, being a man and walking out as relative him having self respect, because if he actually had the self respect to leave, other people would have left. But he decided to put his guilt above his manhood, basically. And that’s ultimately what happened. And as a result, I got deeper and deeper into unconscious, developed unconscious focused.
And to this day, I never actually see my immediate family that I grew up in as any kind of support structure, I literally see them as nothing more than a drain, quite frankly. I mean, every now and then, like maybe 5% of the time, they might be there for me, but for like, 95% of the time, it just doesn’t happen. It’s just really doesn’t happen because they’re still serving, and they expect me to care, they expect me to serve just along with them, they expect me to take the hits in life, or they give everything to everybody else, when they should be giving to me their own flesh and blood, their firstborn son, but they don’t. It’s another ENFJ, you know, even even Railgun, who’s an ESTP member of my immediate family, now, she has a tendency of putting her friends above me, she’s put dogs and cats and animals above me, you know, put, you know, children above and children that aren’t even mine above me, basically.
So it just leads to this endless cycle of neglect, you know, where I end up being neglected that I end up taking a lot of the hits, because and I end up not being satisfied and being unfulfilled and not finding any relief in my life whatsoever. Because Templars have a tendency to take from me and give to other people basically, which is really funny. If you think about it, it’s really funny, because it’s because Railgun herself actually complains all the time about her Templar ENFJ father, who did the same, because what he did to her is that she one time surprised him at his work, and he’s a school teacher, and brought him a very nice lunch and gave it to him in front of his classmates in front of the in front of the classroom. But what ended up happening is that her father gave that lunch to somebody else in the class right in front of her.
Wow, that I like that that is superior neglect, you know, and so she’s taken that behavior and mirrored that. And now doing it herself, basically, as a Templar, right? I’ve seen ISTPs do that constantly. I’ve seen INFJs do that constantly. INFJs eventually become self aware that they do do it after a while after being so alienated and so alone and so lonely.
But then what they do, instead of actually fixing the problem, they become entirely avoidant of the problem and then just choose to be alone or celibate for like the rest of their lives, basically. Because they can’t learn how to deal with that, you know, ISTPs have had the problem too, because anyone can just guilt them into doing anything. And then because of that feeling consistently guilty, they’ll often put their own family, their own. People that work for them, their own employees are complete strangers above their own family showing up late at home, not being there at dinnertime not able to be there for the children just not being there because they’re so busy being people pleasing.
And that’s what these types do. They end up people pleasing. But why? Why did they do this? Well, they do it because being around their own family is actually really painful for Templars. Templars are mirrors.
But Templars have this thing that eventually they fail, they fail a lot. And then the people closest to them in their lives become storage buckets of all of their failure, those people end up becoming reminders to them as to how much they have failed in their life, and how much they have failed those people and how much they continue to fail those people by neglecting them, taking them for granted, taking advantage of them. And then as a result of doing that, they see that these si users, especially in their immediate family start to remember start to remember those failures and they see those failures piling up. And they see that these people in their immediate family are reminders to them as to help poor character they actually have a really important character, especially minds temple, beta Quadra.
Mind temple, beta Quadra has biggest struggles with character. That’s why they like getting into relationships with soul temple in an effort to build their character. So temple just doesn’t even really know anything about their own character. They’re trying to develop their character over time.
So mine temple, Templars actually have it worse than Sol temple Templars because at least soul temple Templars can eventually figure out how to connect with somebody. Whereas ISTP is an ENFJ is really can’t as much as they pride themselves in the thinking they can. So, this ends up bringing up a huge issue. Because eventually, the people in their immediate family just become reminders of their failure, storage because of the failure.
And instead of actually sticking around, and trying to provide relief to those family members, instead of trying to actually admit or accept that they have failed, and actually work hard on themselves and do some personal growth, you know, Shadow Work, right? Some people say lol. But instead of actually going out of their way to assist people, from that point of view, what ends up happening is that they run away, they run away. Because it’s so painful for them to be reminded how much they suck. It’s so painful, and to be reminded how much they are, how much how much of a failure they are, and how they are a constant.
These people are constant reminders of their own failures every single day. Even if those people are choosing to ignore their failure, even if those people have forgiven them of their failure, it does not matter, they will still, at the end of the day, see those people as just reminders of their failure. There was actually a good friend of mine who was married to an ESTP woman. And he is an ESF J.
And she had a couple she had three children with him. Maybe four actually, they had children with him. And then one day, she’s like, for two weeks straight. She’s like you and the kids deserve better.
And that was the only answer that she gave this ESFJ at all, and ESFJ just got tired of it, and then just split up with her, you know. And then she went away, went whoring around basically, like, you know, quadrupled her body count, basically, within the span of 90 days, and then came back trying to get back to the family and the kids and he’s like, No, you’re not welcome here, you walked out on us don’t think that you can just come back into our lives get out and stay out, you know. And yeah, because all sudden that ESTP became nostalgic, and that si Nemesis was eating them alive, showing them regret, basically. But you know, they like to lie to themselves.
And that’s the thing about Templars. Templars are extremely good at lying to themselves, because they lie to themselves to protect their ego, because they just don’t want to face the pain, they just don’t want to face the failure in their lives. They don’t want to address the pain that they’ve caused others, they don’t want to address failing others. So because of that they would rather run away and they would rather run away into the arms of new people, people, they haven’t failed people that aren’t that are not reminders of their failures.
Until like a virus, they store up a lot of failures in that person, and they move on to the next one, like a virus consuming people inside out. Treating every person in their life is nothing more than a failure bucket. And filling this person, these people, these new people with their failures, until they can no longer stand being around that person anymore. Because that person has become a new reminder of their failure, they move on to the next person, they move on to the next person, they move on to the next person, they move on to the next person.
And it just creates this endless cycle of abuse, this endless cycle of neglect this endless cycle of taking people for granted and using people. It’s almost as if they have the self belief of us. Which is really frustrating, and albeit annoying, but also extremely common among temper types, especially in the United States of America. Really sad.
It’s really sad. Even after giving them all of the absolution in the world, even after forgiving them, they still just can’t forget the fact that they failed you, they still just can’t forget it. So what they end up doing instead of like actually working hard to try to fix it because they don’t believe themselves. They don’t they don’t even have the belief in themselves that they can fix it.
And that’s what they need. They need to realize that they have to get to a point like what w Anton said in the book the manual, you have to get to a point where you accept yourself unconditionally including the failures. And only after you reach that point, you can then begin to realize that there are other people especially the people closest to you who have accepted you for your failures that way. That way you can actually get to a point where so funny the people are driving by waving at the camera because they think I’m recording them but I’m not like at all.
It’s just like I use the front camera on my iPhone because it’s still 10 ADP makes it easy. See, because I could see myself, you know, and I’m just like, What the hell? So many assumptions, so many presumptions. Definitely fun psychological experiment to be filming the podcast in front of people in public. Here on the busiest street corner of northern Idaho.
This is so funny to me. Really funny. So what do we what are the Templars to do? You know, they just they, well, they need to stop running, they need to stop running from selves need to stop lying to themselves, they need to accept themselves like conditionally and realize that if only after they’ve done that, can they actually get to the point where they can help other people where they can actually help repair help heal the people that they have failed, right? And then instead of turning the people closest to them into buckets of failure, they’re turning the people closest to them into buckets of success. But then they like, oh, this bucket is so full of failure, it doesn’t matter how much success that I add to it, it’s never gonna be enough wrong.
Because there’s this thing called forgiveness. The problem is, what’s really bad is when you forgive a Templar for what they’ve done to you, and then they still don’t change because they themselves don’t even believe they can. Because when they look at you, they just see all of their failure, looking right back at them. And they just can’t get over it.
They it’s like they’re incapable of accepting your free gift of forgiveness. Not unlike God’s free gift to salvation. Right. Right.
Not unlike that. But they can’t accept it. Because from their perspective, well, I don’t deserve it. They have to get to a point where they realize that nobody deserves it, but they should just be grateful for having it instead of being prideful about it.
That’s the thing. That’s the thing about a Templars, that’s how, that’s how they get abusive. And it’s horrible. They neglect people, then neglect comes because they can’t face the fact that when they look into your eyes, that they know that their failures are staring them right back in their face.
And it’ll keep happening because they keep running. So funny, like sometimes, like Railgun will do something really, really horrible. Sometimes something even unconscionable. And then she’ll just run away.
And then she’ll say, well, you’re better off not being around me. And I’m like, No, I’m better off us staying, admitting you’re wrong, taking full responsibility for your actions and actually working hard to fix the situation. Because I made a commitment to her at the very beginning of our relationship, I said, I will always I promise to always give you the right to remedy. Because I knew this about 10 parts, I knew that she would need to have the opportunity to fix any problems or any failures of hers.
The problem is, is that she believes herself incapable of fixing, she believes herself incapable of improving because she has not accepted herself unconditionally. Which is really sad for her. I feel bad for her. I’m very sympathetic towards her because she too is a victim of yet another Templar that did the same thing to her, just as my father did to me, where we, where they put other people outside their own family above them, where all that special treatment should have been spent on their family, but it’s being spent on other people.
Because those people don’t have those failures, staring back at them. So ridiculous, so sad. That’s the best issue. That’s the big problem.
You know, and most people are entirely unaware that this is how exemplars work and how Templars need to actually get to a better better place in their life you know, before this actually happens so how do they deal with it? Don’t run away. Don’t give up. Stop concerning yourself between your success and failure rate and instead look at whether or not you’re actually trying whether or not you’re actually putting in real effort to fix the situation. Just like Falcon said to Winter Soldier in the show Falcon and Winter Soldier actor, Winter Soldier is feeling so guilty for killing so many innocent people.
And there’s this one guy that he killed his innocent son, and that’s why he hangs out with him if your friend at this guy, and then Falcon tells the Winter Soldier, well put in the work, go to him and admit everything you did wrong. Put in the work. And only then could healing even be possible only then are you unable to actually fix the problem. And Valcon is an ES TJ telling this to this ISTP The Winter Soldier who’s carrying his guilt everywhere he goes because Bucky is an ISTP and that was very iconic moment where Falcon was say put in the work.
Put in the work. That’s what all the Templars need to do, they need to be willing to put in the work. And I’m glad that Railgun decided to start putting in the work. And that as a result, she’s working really hard to improve this area.
I’m very thankful for that. And I look forward to her continuing to improve and be on that journey. And I do, and I do love her. And I love her dearly.
And I’m glad that she is walking that path and realizing that effort is more important than far more important than necessarily failure success. Because if a template can focus on the journey, and the effort and actually putting in the work, guess what, eventually, you know, they will succeed. And then eventually, all those people that are closest to them will become buckets of success instead of buckets of failure. Instead of just being reminded of all their failures, instead of, you know, being reminded of their poor character right in front of them, and then that’s where they have to run away.
And then they never face that. They never face those issues. So they’re doomed to repeat those mistakes over and over and over. And they let all those mistakes decay into errors, and they never fix them.
So every new person that is in their life, they end up repeating the same mistakes over and over and over. Like I said, they just end up behaving like a virus. And it’s so sad. So sad.
That’s why I don’t give up on Templars in my life. I just don’t give up on them. Why? Because I understand them. I understand what they’re going through.
I know what they face, I know what they have to deal with. I just wish they would understand and know what I’m dealing with. But they can’t see past their own nose. Why? Because they can’t even see themselves.
Why? Because they keep lying to themselves. Why? Because they keep running away from their problems instead of having the guts to face them, all the while expecting me to have the guts to face them for them, while simultaneously dealing with my own problems and my own demons. It’s a really sad way to live life. And I don’t recommend it.
So if you have a Templar who is neglecting you and abusing you, in this regard, tell them just be like, hey, look, I already accept you. But what business do you have not accepting yourself? You have to get to a point where you accept yourself unconditionally. You have to get to a point we’re not running from yourself anymore. You’re not lying anymore, and you’re willing to actually put in the time and the effort to put in the work.
Yes, it’s gonna be a long time. Yes, it’s gonna suck. But that doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to fail. You just have to keep trying.
So you have to tell these templates are straight up, put in the work. If you found this video useful, helpful, educational or enlightening, please subscribe to the channel and also leave a comment below. And thank you folks for watching and listening. And I’ll see you guys in the next episode.
