No, INTJs Should NOT Parent INTJs! | CS Joseph Responds

No, INTJs Should NOT Parent INTJs! | CS Joseph Responds

 

No, INTJs should not parent INTJs! CS Joseph Responds to the community.

Transcript:

 

Hey what’s up Eagle hackers. Welcome to the CS Joseph podcast. Tonight’s episode is gonna be a little bit different. As I decided that I needed to have a response to a lot of the comments in the YouTube comments, and even some comments elsewhere discord, Facebook, etc.

In relation to which of the 16 types is best to parents, an INTJ. And I had stated earlier that it was the ESTP my cigars unraveling, oh, my fault first take it in my pocket without sticking in its tube. That sucks. But at least it’s not an urban leveling too much.

I’m probably smoke through the unravels shoot enough, then cut, it won’t be good. So I actually have a problem. I have a problem with some of the members of the audience in the comment section. And the reason why is because they’re they’re being very logical and be without considering, like the consequences of the logic that they’re presenting.

I wish they were a little bit more rational about it, because I keep seeing in the comments, especially in pertaining to that video, people making the claim that the actual answer is that an INTJ is better for parenting another INTJ. And I have to say that this is entirely incorrect. It’s grossly it’s grossly incorrect. It is egregious ly incorrect.

Like, what the hell? No, stop spreading this kind of misinformation, folks, because it is absolutely wrong. It’s so wrong, that biologically speaking, it almost doesn’t happen. Especially since our family sizes are so small now in the modern world, postmodern world in this era that we live in right now. The family size is extremely small.

People are not replacing themselves. So people either having no child or one child within their nuclear families. And we all know what my opinion is to the nuclear family. I loathe the nuclear family entirely.

No, oh, entirely. You know, from the Grinch, who was an intp played by Jim Carrey, who’s an ENTP. A UD UF Grinch, by the way, from the perspective, UT UF from the perspective of, you know, Oct gram, if you wanna learn more about Dr. Gram, CS joseph.ly, forward slash members go in the cutting edge section.

After you become a journeyman member. Watch the cutting edge episode for August 2022. And that’s the basic primer on octagon, which is the ego hacker community variant of Enneagram. So if you want to learn about that, check it out there.

But unconscious, developed unconscious focused, is the Grinch basically loads entirely Yeah, I loads the nuclear family entirely. Here’s the issue like biologically, humanity, just when you have a child, that child is not going to be the same type as the parents unless the parents have a boatload of other children, then Then, and only then is it possible they could be the same type. But our own biology goes out of its way to make sure that that does not happen. Because our own biology is aware of the potential psychological damage that could actually happen to a child if a child was born as the same type as one of their parents.

Now, granted, the rules can get broken when you bring in human nurturer and then all of a sudden you have a stepmom or stepfather who is the same type and that can happen and that almost always, always, always, it does it always leads to disaster. Now, I posited that highest professional compatibility is the ideal for potentially for one of the parents to be highest professional compatibility for a child. And, and this actually kind of often comes out in biology. It’s usually based on the combinate like, I don’t really know.

Okay, so I have to state that first. But you know, I’ve been keeping track of various potential variables potential vectors, with being able to track or anticipate or predict the types of children before they are born. It’s a massive undertaking, I’ve been working on this project and experimenting with it and observing with it. And people like how is CSJ experimenting on this? Oh, by having children.

I experiment by having my own children. So and observing, I observe other people’s children. But I’ve noticed that unless a family is huge, like, nine plus children, there’s not going to be a similar type. And that would make sense for a lot of reasons.

Because if you guys like so I’m an intp, right? Like, my mother, she’s ISFJ is a crusader, my sister, she’s an ESFJ, she’s a crusader, I’m not allowed to be, you know, as a child, a child typically loves to go into their subconscious and play their subconscious as a child. Because the child wants to be like their parents, they want to be grown up too, right? That’s why. So they’re trying to turn their Fe they’re, they’re pretending that their Fe child or my Fe child or their child function, whichever function it is, their child function is going to become a parent function, and they kind of pretend and they play. That’s why like, for example, little kids like playing house, for example.

They’re trying to imagine what it’s like to be adults. It’s the same thing. You know, that’s usually with little girls, but little boys, you know, play in different ways. But again, children are ultimately emulating adult behavior.

And this is this is how they explore their subconscious. I was never allowed to do that within my nuclear family, because my mother took on the role of env, Crusader and V Crusaders are NTPs and ISFJs, she has intp. Subconscious, she gave birth to any intp.

She has ISFJ ego. And as a result of that, like, like, I mean, that’s that’s probably as bad as it gets. I mean, it probably might be worse than the conflict type. But conflict types do give birth to their or do have children with do have children who are their conflict type.

And as much as polar opposites also have children of their, you know, their polar opposite, also known as their highest camaraderie that happens, but the same type doesn’t happen. Why is that? Because I know from the pain in my own life, and the pain in my own family, I wasn’t really allowed to be any intp. My mother is trying to aspire into her subconscious. She is a unconscious developed, she, what subconscious focused aka grand variant of an INFJ.

So she’s trying to be more intp as she gets older, and as she develops. And she was even doing that when she had me, based on questions that I’ve asked family members over time, who knew her because she was the baby of the family. So she had a lot of eyeballs on her, and we’re just wherever and we’re around her within the context of our family, right? Well, this is where the rubber meets the road, because she’s taking on those roles have basically my subconscious and my ego within the family, there was no room for my extroverted feeling child, there’s no room for me to be myself. So I was not able to actually develop my subconscious and use my childhood as a way to develop my subconscious, like most people are able to get any much healthier home environment, right.

So instead, I was basically forced to do unconscious development, especially since my father was also an FE user. And my both my parents are ti Fe users. So and I was a TI Fe user. And then I ended up having to go into my shadow and develop my INTJ shadow because they basically both projected their need for Introverted Feeling onto me their child.

So my dad still to this day treats me like I’m an ENFP. Still to this day, while wishing I was probably more like an INFP, but he projects ENFP on me so hard. I don’t blame him for this. It’s not his fault.

It’s just, it’s just kind of naturally happened as a result of nature versus nurture, put together within him and like his experience and his upbringing, whatnot. But the thing is, is that it created a very abusive environment for my mind. Again, I’m not blaming my parents for this, not blaming them, I’m just saying this is what happened. So as a result, I couldn’t really be myself and I became unconscious developed.

And then every time I tried to focus on my subconscious, it would just blow up in my face. So I basically gave up focusing on my subconscious after I was unconscious, develop, and I decided to just double down with all right, I’m already familiar with my unconscious development. So I’m just going to just focus on unconscious and they’ll just get closer to my super ego over time, which allows me to develop my expert sensing demon, which is another way that I can develop my Introverted Sensing inferior as a function. Okay.

So that’s, that’s ultimately what I did. And that’s what I am doing. I if I just focus on just developing my Introverted Sensing inferior, because Fe child is present and if a child is so far behind in its own development, it’s, it’s like it’s like that kid that you go to school with, but like he’s like several grades behind even though he’s older than you, you know what I’m saying that’s literally my expert feeling child. And because it because it was so underused and so underdeveloped, I have a really hard time turning it into an extroverted feeling parent, and then transitioning into my INFJ side in order for that to work.

So but I still have to obtain happiness somehow. So I have to develop my Introverted Sensing and fear somehow. So I do it through cognitive orbit by focusing on developing my personal performance through my expert sensing demon. This is no different than when you’re parenting, an adolescent or teenager, you can’t just focus on helping them develop their parent function, which is their sense of personal responsibility, you have to go through their critic function because cognitive orbit critic function is the backdoor to the parent function, develop their parent, and then their ego won’t hate you.

And then you can have a better relationship with them, you just focus on developing their wisdom and then eventually, their personal responsibility will set in naturally. And then you won’t have the woes of having a teenager on your hands anymore. That’s all you have to do just appeal to the critic, you know, well, the same thing is what I had to do, I had to learn in order for me to develop my Introverted Sensing, inferior, I had to focus on developing my personal performance through x rayed sensing demon, okay, and then that’s how I’m slowly and it’s a lot slower process. But slowly developing my Introverted Sensing inferior as a result, right.

Day off lost it. So. So based on that, it ends up becoming a problem a really big problem, ultimately, and in the long run. So and this, this ultimately has contributed to like my unhappiness over time.

Now you’re by now you’re wondering, okay, yeah, thank you. CSJ. But why is this? Why is this relevant? Well, it’s relevant for a very important reason. If it’s really hard for a child like so.

So Railgun. Let’s, let me give them one more example. So Railgun, Rogozin ESTP. But her dad is an ENFJ.

Okay, her mother is also an INFJ. She has the same parents, but they have different octave grams than my parents, they had the opposite Octo grams is my parents basically. But same egos as my parents ISFJ an ENFJ ISFJ mother ENFJ father, and her dad is her conflict type. And he’s still took on the role of extroverted Templar within the house.

And that really stifled her development as well. But given the fact that her parents divorced, it allowed her a lot of alone time. So she was still able to, to develop her subconscious. And that’s why she is still a subconscious developed person.

Because her dad was always working, she had a lot of free time, a lot of space to be able to do that, regardless of his influence. So kind of worked out for more so in the end, because that divorce, my parents never divorced, they were together. And, you know, just just recently, even my mother admitted to putting, you know, the church above me, or, you know, or my sister, she admitted that and I’m very thankful that she did, God bless her. It really took a huge weight off my shoulders to hear it from her.

But I’m glad when she takes responsibility. I’m so glad that anyone takes responsibility, you know, instead of just lashing out at me, whenever I hold them accountable. People that lash out at me when I hold them accountable are like gross to me, and I just really don’t have anything to do with them. Like at all.

It’s just gross. I hate it. I really hate it. So, at the same time, I’m just like, okay, yeah, you know, she had it pretty hard to but you know, she kind of got through it and now she’s, you know, subconsciously developed.

The thing is, though, is that like, but my mom being like an iossef J like, it really caused me to become this x dot you know, unconscious, developed unconscious focused EMTP basically, from a psychological perspective, right within my own human nurture my own natural development, right. So based on that, and I, I really, I really love filming at this spot is probably my favorite spot in town. I might I might come here more often. I’m kind of like random around here.

But this is pretty dope. I’m actually in front of like, a coffee shop, my favorite coffee shop in town actually, where like, all the people that all the cool people hang out and like the wear suits and whatnot. And I like coming in here wearing a suit just for the hell of it. Because I like wearing suits.

What’s wrong with that? I just don’t like wearing suits while I’m working as much because I don’t like getting them dirty. So and I don’t have a reliable dry cleaner right now. Also dry cleaning. I have a hard time believing in dry cleaning because dry cleaning is ultimately very toxic at the same time.

So I got to find a different solution perhaps. Anyway, I don’t know why I said that. So anyway, based on this foundation, the foundation is like with me being unconscious built unconscious focused, and you know being prone to You know, the bouts of depression, the pain of life that comes with being an unconscious developed unconscious focus person, right? I mean, just earlier today, I was accused of being a narcissist, I was accused of being, you know, having a victim mindset, you know, and this person that was telling me this is, you know, someone who’s, you know, very depressed, and, you know, and I’m depressed too and like, you know, they have a history of cutting themselves and really, like, you know, suicide attempts, those kinds of things, you know, and and then they started comparing themselves to me call me narcissist, that like it was really egregious situation. And I’m like, Okay, let’s, let’s just have a conversation here and have a little comparison here.

Okay, so, you know, you’re this person who’s like, Oh, what was me? So then you put yourself in danger. You cut yourself, you get suicidal, you have all these things happen to you? And yeah, I know, it sucks for you. Yeah, you have a lot of depression. Your life is rough.

I get it. I get it. But then you have me where I’m like, yes. Oh, woe is me.

But the difference is that I actually get shit done because I’m trying to work hard every day to change it. That’s the difference between me and this person, right? That’s the difference. Okay. So like us people.

While they do struggle with depression, they’re constantly they can often constantly work hard to change it. There’s a guy in our community. His name’s Layne he used to be a mod on the discord fantastic fellows and he has TJ but he he basically said, you know, like, if you’re a subconscious developed person compared to a subconscious developed, subconscious, focused person, which is St. SF like like Logan, Paul’s an example of an intp, who is that way.

And I’m like the polar opposite of Logan, Paul. Andrew Tate is also unconscious, developed unconscious focus like me. Okay. And I guess that’s why a lot of people compare me to him all the time, because we’re very, very, very, very similar in that regard, even though like, he’d likely just claim that I’m just another dork, but that’s fine.

I don’t care. You can call me a dork all he wants. We have, we have a different background, different life story. So you know, it is what it is.

I haven’t given up regardless of anyone thinking I’m a dork or not, I don’t give up period. You know, but at the end of the day, like, you know, regardless, like, just because I’m at UF does not mean that like, I’m not getting it done, that I’m not putting in the effort, I’m still moving forward, regardless of how unhappy I am in life, regardless of of, you know, because I’m chasing happiness. Basically, it’s a it is literally a pursuit of happiness. And the one thing that makes me angry is when someone inhibits me on my pursuit of happiness, and I won’t tolerate that I will never tolerate someone getting in the way of my pursuit of happiness.

Like nobody, nobody, I don’t care who it is, like, they can’t be in my life, if they’re gonna get in the way of that. So. So it’s not to say that like, yeah, you to us people. They are.

Yeah, sure. They are perpetually. They’re perpetually depressed. They’re, they’re very upset.

They’re very unhappy in life, but they’re also perpetually wise, they’re much wiser than everybody else. So what they trade this so that they get a trade off, like they have this huge benefit of getting a lot more wisdom, because they have a higher amount of suffering in their life. And yeah, you know, they could be like, yeah, oh, what was me but they’re still able to use their wisdom to get up in the morning and actually get things done. And it’s kind of like King Solomon praying to God for wisdom, you know? And then you can just imagine God going to Psalm and be like, Are you sure? Are you sure you want wisdom because if I give you wisdom, you’re gonna have to suffer a lot.

You see what I’m saying. And he did suffer a lot of one of his greatest points of suffering was Song of Solomon chapter five or six, when his when his first love his one itis, his his soulmate, betrayed him, basically, that’s a very sad story. And she was she was an ESTP and Egyptian princess that he risked everything to marry her basically going against his entire nation, basically, because this nation, you know, in those days were very racist towards Egyptian folk. And he married, you know, outside of his race, and people got really upset.

It’s kind of interesting, because, you know, the two marriages in my life, I’m married, I’m married someone outside of my race. It’s just it’s just very normal for en TPS to do. And he’s an NTP. So makes sense.

So like, so that happened, you know that that happened. And but the difference is, is that he still keeps going he gets that done. So I’m not I’m not like blaming my parents. So but let’s let’s bring it back to the main point here now that we have this little foundation is 90 minute foundation laid and here was actually get to the point.

If, if you could see just how bad it is, you know, for a person to be born to someone who is your polar opposite, highest camaraderie basically, while also lacking that same support from your father, for example, you’re not going to really turn out so well, you’re not going to be a happy person, you’re just not. Biologically, if you’re like an INTJ and you have an INTJ you’re, you’re you’re not going to let them be an ENFP you’re not gonna let them be an INTJ you’re not gonna let your child be a wayfare because we naturally just, that’s just naturally how humans are. And biology is where this and prevents this from happening unless there’s more children present, thus, a lot more psyches. Because if you have a lot of children think about it, you have, like 12 Children, the oldest is actually gonna start taking care of the children and the parents are just gonna keep popping up babies and then making their children take care of the other children, you see what I’m saying? It’s like those parental roles and that passing towards those children, the older children, that’s natural, it happens all the time, especially nuclear family, especially like older nuclear families.

But like, so it’s fine when you have children, you know, but you know, and after a while that, that you may have someone with the same type pop up, that’s because they have a different support structure from their older siblings, and it’s not necessarily their parents. But when the support structure is just your parents, our biology is actually aware of this, it’s aware of, you know, there’s not enough psyches, and this could actually harm the psychological development of this child. Okay. Isn’t epigenetics great? Isn’t genetics great? Like, our biology is aware of psyche? And how our psyches? You know, we’re evolved enough that our that our their bodies are aware of what our psyches need to actually grow and mature into adults, right? Because it would be an absolute disaster to have a child born to a person, if they were like the firstborn, or second born, or even a third born or whatever, I’d be the same type as a parent, it would be an absolute disaster.

And it just doesn’t happen. It doesn’t happen. So not only my saying is, it’s an extremely bad idea, because that that child would be completely and totally messed up by having a parent of the same type. But it also doesn’t happen.

And our biology is aware of this and prevents that from happening. So all you people who are talking about this in the YouTube comments, y’all are flat wrong. You all don’t know what you’re talking about. Yes, I did a video on the ultimate study technique, where you can learn the most from people who are your own type.

But in the parental role? No, no, because children orbit their parents, children, ultimately, no matter how abusive their parents, our children, sometimes at the end of the day, deep down whether or not they’re conscious of it or not, are still ultimately trying to make their parents proud at least or dad’s proud, you see what I’m saying. So like, biology is aware of this, and prevents this outcome from happening because it doesn’t want children to be entirely so psychologically messed up that they could end up becoming a problem, because again, our biology is the continued its primary directive is to its prime directive is to make sure that the race continues on and our race will not have any longevity, if that would happen, right. This is this is all this is additional proof, in my opinion, that intelligent design is a thing and macro evolution is false. I think micro evolution is true, but I maintain that macro evolution is false and intelligent design is true.

Ultimately, I know a lot of you cringe every time I say that, but I honestly don’t care. Like the there’s so much evidence to the contrary, and you just have to look for it. And believe me, I gave evolution as Dan court, I had to, because I was being rebellious towards my father, who is a major creationist. And as much as I tried to disprove it, I couldn’t.

I tried. I tried, and I failed. So failed miserably. So many folks, that’s the entire point I’m trying to make with this, like, stop, stop claiming that types of the same type or ideal for like the parenting role? No, no, it’s not.

It’s, it’s, it’s, it’s a failure. It’s not true. It’s not. Our biology prevents it.

So how could it be true if even our biology is preventing it? Okay. So seriously, I want you guys to think about this, you know, and go out there. If you actually really know how to type people and you’re not like wrong. If you actually know how to do it, then sure.

You know, go, go, go see, go go verify what I’m saying. And you’ll see that I’m correct. I got so many years of observation, you know, to back this up, like it’s a thing. So.

Anyway, thanks for watching, folks, and thanks for listening and I’ll see you guys in the next episode.