INTJs EgoHacking INTJs?! | CS Joseph Responds
CS Joseph Responds to the Acolyte member question how can an INTJ female Egohack their INTJ stepmother for a better relationship?
Transcript:
Hey what’s up yo hackers, welcome to the CS Joseph podcast. I’m your host CS Joseph, today’s acolyte question. It’s an extremely good question. It’s for INTJ is especially INTJ women? How can I as an INTJ, woman, ego hack or social engineer, my father’s INTJ wife, so I can have a better relationship with her and not cause problems for my father? What an amazing question.
Some of you in the community probably know the person who was asked this question. And I actually had the opportunity to answer it to them personally. But I would like the opportunity to actually share that with the audience. And it’s only just now that I actually realized that that’s what was going on since higher time.
So Be that as it may, there’s a lot of different things to consider. First things first, the cognitive origin of reverence. The thing is, is that, you know, when you’re around this INTJ stepmother, basically, you’ve really got to make sure that you’re giving that you’re showing her a deep respect, deep respect is everything to an INTJ. And they’re already naturally submissive.
And obviously, your stepmother would be submitting to your father by trying really hard to have a good relationship with you. But I guarantee you that she herself is also just as anxious as you are. So to relieve the anxiety, you have to make sure that you never find yourself in a situation where you are competing with her for your father’s attention. Like that’s, that’s paramount, tantamount, it is the most important thing.
If you’re going to be having a successful relationship with this woman, you absolutely cannot compete with her for your father’s attention. You cannot put yourself above her either, because she has FYI child as well. She has a step mother, she is technically an authority figure in your life. And if you give her the opportunity, she will help you maybe potentially increase your status, and increase your ability to perform as an INTJ woman through the concept of cognitive asynchronicity, also known as camaraderie, we have a season devoted to cognitive asynchronicity.
It is a playlist on the YouTube channel, please search it, it’s also available on the podcast, search it and watch it. Camaraderie is ultimately how women have relationships with other women, they really only share compatibility with a few men in their life, which is basically their father, if possible, their husband, and then ultimately, the children, their children, the males that are the boys that are their children, basically. But any other time, women are ultimately operating from my pragmatic survival of the fittest approach when it comes to camaraderie, and they want to have relationships with women who have high camaraderie with them because it sharpens them. It makes them better, more effective.
And they really can relate and identify with each other, right? Camaraderie is all about identifying with other people. Whereas compatibility is all about relating to other people, right? The thing is, is that women don’t really want to relate to other women because women naturally have an enmity towards other women a competition with other women. So don’t try to relate with your INTJ stepmother. Instead, try to identify with her and show her how you identify with her and actually ask her for assistance ask her for things that she has been through in her life, because you have a golden opportunity here as an INTJ woman to have an INTJ stepmother a huge golden opportunity.
The reason why is because in life, the people that you can learn from the most the people that you can learn the best from the people that you can extract the absolute best advice from are people of your own type and even better when they are your own type and your own gender. Okay, if they have same gender as you and that same type and I mean biological gender when I say that, if that’s the same, guess what they’ve been through the same struggles you have, they may have a different octave. Granted, they may have a different nurture, but they still have had the same struggles and will eventually have the same struggles that you will have one day, so it’s not a bad thing to take their advice. Try it out even if you disagree, try out their advice.
And then if it didn’t work, tell them how they how you feel about it, or tell your father how you felt about it. But recognize that this woman should be at a higher level than you because she It has to be more important to your father than you are. And you have to make sure that she understands that you have to make sure that you know your station and that you are admitting what your station is to this woman that you are making a commitment to this woman, right? You are committing to not competing with her for attention. And honestly, that’s one of the biggest things that she’s worried about.
She is worried that you that your father would spend all of his time and attention and his choices and want you more than her. A woman who has been with him for a very long time and has, you know, your your half siblings are with this man basically. So you want to make sure that that’s what’s going on. Like, that is the standard.
And do it from a camaraderie point of view. Ask her for advice, ask her if it’s okay for you to ask her for advice. Just make it very, very clear to her that you are not there to cause problems or trying to make things worse for her at all. And actually trying to do things better offer her to help, right.
But again, only if it’s okay, you have to ask permission first, basically. But also, above all that you need to tell your father ahead of time what you intend to do that way he is not blindsided, you have to ask your father permission for you to interact with his INTJ wife, your stepmother ahead of time, okay, especially with what I know about your folks culture. If you’re not willing to ask, ask permission, then you’re kind of being a lousy woman, you’re not being submissive, and you have to learn to be submissive to your father. So out of respect for a father, go to him first, talk about these things with him first and ahead of time.
That way you have everything that you need and are looking for, because likely, he will give you that support. And then not only that, if something bad does happen between you and his wife, well, he will have the opportunity to figure out how both of you’re feeling and then he will become the problem solver and then solve the problems if there’s problems between you or if there’s problems you’re both facing. Or if you have separate problems. And both of you could actually benefit in some way, shape or form.
All of that is necessary. entirely necessary. But if you’re going to take that away from him, you’re not going to get anywhere, you’re not going to get any way anywhere with with her. Because he’s not handled first.
So your father is primary. She is secondary, but she is still above you, technically. So please understand these social dynamics and your father, given the fact that he’s an intp. And he has a golden pair.
It’s nice that he has a golden pair. And hopefully he’s able to derive joy as a result of having that golden pair. Because that joy is absolutely necessary. Why? Why would you? Why would you and even if it’s not your intention to like compete with the INTJ stepmother for his attention, she will naturally over time, assume that that’s what you’re doing.
So you have to take it to communication, you have to be willing to expose yourself. Se users especially INTJ is especially extroverted sensing inferiors and extroverted sensing heroes. So if you have extroverted sensing in your ego and a gateway slot, it is your responsibility to make sure that you are exposing yourself to people in your life. Okay, si users, don’t expose yourself, no one wants that.
Don’t expose yourself, exposing yourself as an SI user is a waste of time. Especially if you have Introverted Sensing in your ego that’s in a gateway slot. So if you have si hero, if you have si inferior, don’t do it. No one cares.
No one wants you to expose yourself. It is the SE users job to expose themselves. So make sure you’re taking responsibility by exposing yourself. By doing that, that way, there’s no paranoia, it solves the risk of paranoia because you know, INTJ is virtue advice is the virtue of trust, trust, which you can do by which you can get by exposing yourself.
Then they have the vise of paranoia. Well, you can cultivate paranoia by not communicating by being too afraid. But remember, you had to communicate these things with your father first and receive His guidance. Before you interface with the INTJ step mother.
It’s absolutely critical that you do this on a regular basis. But otherwise, you know, you’re just not going to have you will not have any success within this relationship whatsoever. So it’s not necessarily that you have to ego hacker per se. It’s more that you just have to behave in this very honorable way this very feminine way in order to get what you want.
Naturally, in order to be able to interface with your father better to be able to facilitate this. Read the book irresistibly feminine by Zack grody as well as worthy woman by Zack Riley and show him your heart by Zack Rody, read all three of those books especially irresistibly feminine, so that you know how to talk to your father about this things before you talk to the INTJ stepmother. And then at that point, you’ll give him the opportunity to solve any problems or any potential pitfalls, you’ll give him the opportunity to give you some guidance that you need to have an even better outcome. And then you can proceed with the INTJ step mother.
After you’ve done that, then seek to make sure seek to make sure that you’re giving the INTJ step mother reverence and her cognitive origin, as well as do your best also to help her reach satisfaction, her secondary origin, and as much as how you’d want to be treated because you know, Golden Rule Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, This is a perfect opportunity for you to give her her cognitive origins hoping that she may or may not give you the same, but she might not. But that’s okay. You are there to learn from her. She is there to teach you as a result of having high camaraderie with her.
It does not have to be a mutual exchange because over time as you get to observe her and how she treats her father, it’d be a really potentially a good example of what to do or what not to do when it comes to your future relationships with your husband. And the future. Should should you get with an intp or an NP or even an intp to a point in FL an NTP or an NP type. It really, really matters.
Okay. So utilize her as a resource to the end, and then obviously figure out what her Akram is figure out what her preferred poles are, and then give those things to her as well give to her what is missing from her to temple wheels, her ego wheel and her unconscious wheel, and I guarantee you success. So anyway, folks, thanks for watching and listening and I’ll see you guys on the next episode.
