INFJs, No More Running! | CS Joseph Responds

INFJs, No More Running! CS Joseph responds to the acolyte question stop avoiding responsibility in their life.

Transcript:

You know? What’s up ego, hackers. Welcome to the CS Joseph podcast. I’m your host, CS Joseph naturally. And sometimes Chris Taylor hosts.

So that’s pretty cool that to have him on the content creation team, we might also have Samuel in the very near future, hosting the show as well. I can hardly wait to introduce you folks. To him is a fantastic intp unconscious developed unconscious focused aka gram. Pretty fantastic folks in the community.

And also community lead on the discord server, which if you haven’t been to the discord server, or you’re not involved, the discord server, we have over 1100 people, we’re going to be breaking 1200 people, and at least 85 to 90% of them are active within like the last 24 hours. So it’s pretty like bitching Discord server. And we continue to add a lot of amazing things to it. So I want to get involved.

In particular, the sexuality channel is quite active and a lot of fun, if not insanely dramatic. So I highly recommend you folks actually get involved in that because like, you know, you might benefit actually, I know you’d benefit from it. There’s so much benefit there on the discord server. That being said, today’s acolyte question is how do INFJs actually finish tasks and stop avoiding responsibility in their life? This is a peculiar question.

Now, you know, a lot of people would think that, you know, I would have a typical answer to this kind of question. But I’m actually going to be providing a deeper answered than I normally would for a question like this. And I know it’s been a while since I’ve done act like questions, I just got over having Coronavirus. I was down for quite a while.

It was horrible. Second worst flu of my life. This go round at least like the first go round, it really wasn’t that bad. But like, this go round was just entirely ridiculous, is horrible.

Like the body aches and not being able to do anything, I was basically like the most worthless excuse of a human being for two weeks straight. And I had to quarantine you know, to make sure that I’m not getting John Bodeen like infected and, you know, other members of the team and people within my crew up here. So I just kind of had to just disappear for a while, which is good. You know, although I will admit, it’s not like I actually like shaved or properly groomed myself since then.

But I might Yeah, whatever. Who Cares all ACP minute, may as well get some content filmed while I’m at it, you know, why not? Let’s just Let’s just, you know, eff it, we’ll do it live, you know, Bill O’Reilly style, you know, so that’s what we’re gonna do. That being said, like, how do you INFJs like, get over that? Well, thing is about INFJs. Like, you guys got to remember that they’re less types, you know, less types.

Like, you know, most people like when I say like, less types, you know, most people assume like I’m talking, you know, about something sexual. And, yeah, INFJs and ESTPs. As less types, they have the highest body counts of all the types, of course, you know, they they really do. They, they crave connectedness, they crave intimacy, and they’re gonna like go, you know, almost anywhere to get those things that’s kind of like what they’re all after I get it.

That’s just kind of like how they live their life, I get it. But that’s not necessarily everything there is to know about less types per se. Not really. There’s a lot more to it than that.

So let’s actually examine a more well, a different interpretation or a different way to look at deadly sin of lust first, before we get on to answering this question. So another word that’s synonymous with the word lust is also the word jealousy. Okay? And jealousy can continue to be a problem for less types on a regular basis. Like Like, I’m talking like a big problem.

And if you’re not careful, last will just end up consuming you especially from the perspective of jealousy. And jealousy really is just defined by you know, wanting what other people have really, it’s just it’s extroverted sensing and I lust types really put far more emphasis on extroverted sensing and introverted intuition, their perception functions from it. psychological perspective, they put more emphasis on those functions than any of the other 16 types even, even more so than INTJ is more so than ENTJs, it just doesn’t matter. Like they, they really highly value extroverted sensing and being connected as much as they can to other people as part of being the sole temple because they’re all about, you know, character and identity.

And they draw their identity from being connected to other people from extroverted sensing. And extroverted sensing others keep being impactful to others, giving people memorable experiences, so that they can be remembered so that and then people would be willing to stick around or even potentially seek them out and seek out connection with them. Right. That’s, that’s what ESTP is an INFJ is both get off on.

The thing is, is that when it comes to jealousy, jealousy is really just another way of saying Introverted intuition. And extroverted sensing from a cognitive axis point of view. It really is, because it’s like I want which is Ni, I want, what they have, or what you have se x rayed sensing, I want what they have, I want what they have, I want what they have. Now, most people conflate jealousy with, with envy, but it goes a little bit more.

Because once once the jealous person actually obtains exactly what they want, they exhibit an extreme amount of control a form of control that’s on the same level, or akin to the word ownership, right? So they feel like they own that thing. And it’s all about ownership, right. And they can’t part with that thing that they got, after wanting it for so long. Because they feel entitled to it, they feel like they own it.

And anyone who is like getting in the way of them owning that, that can be like a serious problem. So jealousy, jealousy ends up defining the life of an INFJ and an ESTP. on a consistent basis, they are there is so insanely jealous. And they often just can’t let go of it.

This is what some of the reasons why out of the 16 types, even though they end up having the highest number of sex partners with like other people, they often end up becoming serial monogamous, because they just want to like, quote, own their partner, basically. And they focus on that one person’s investment within them. And it’s just something that they can’t let go of on a consistent basis. They just can’t let go.

And they don’t, they don’t want to let go. And I’m not saying it’s, it’s a good thing for them not to let go. I mean, it’s fine. I mean, human beings, we’re not exactly made to let go of one another, let’s be honest.

And of course, it’s easy for a heart template Crusader like myself to actually say that, yeah, sure, it’s pretty easy. But at the end of the day, you know, that jealousy ends up becoming a huge, huge problem. But jealousy ends up having an opposite effect as well. Like, if you were to look at the reverse of jealousy, especially within the context of a sexual relationship, you know, having that insane amount of ownership or whatever, it also has an interesting opposite to it.

And that opposite is basically it manifests in a number of ways. One of the ways is, is like when, I mean, these people are so afraid of failure, they’re so afraid of failing, that, they end up believing that they’re no longer entitled to the ownership of the person, place or thing that they lusted after previously, or that they are jealous about previously. And because of expert feeling, they no longer feel there are times that as a result of their own failure, they feel like they no longer deserve that person. And that’s why there’s these people are actually so afraid of failure in their life.

They’re trying to run away from failure. They don’t have anything to do with failure. Failure continues to be a problem for them failure basically and fear of failure. This anxiety basically rules these people’s lives and they just can’t get away from it.

And you know, if they’re not even willing to admit that, well, you probably shouldn’t have them in their life because they’re definitely lacking the maturity. Like, would I like recommend that these people actually be in your life as a result? No, probably not. So, but they end up feeling like they don’t deserve it. So like, for example, let’s say like an INFJ.

You know, here’s here’s one of the ways that inf J’s hella shirk responsibility in their life. They feel like if they fail ESTP students, but like, they feel like if they fail, that they’ll end up like having this problem where it’s like, okay, hey, you know, I don’t deserve this person anymore. I really messed them up. I really failed.

I broke something. I broke something brand new that maybe I broke their heart maybe I you know, I I broke something I did something wrong. So what they end up doing is they end up withdrawing, they end up withdrawing entirely, and they end up leaving, they end up escaping, they end up running away. And these are the types, less types, they just have this big problem with, like running away from their problems.

And it’s like the most annoying thing in the world, how they run away from their problems. And it’s basically like the worst form of shirking responsibility I have experienced in my life, and as well as the worst form of shirking responsibility that, like I’ve observed in my life, like, I really struggle with it. Like, it’s disgusting, to me, it’s entirely disgusting. How lust types do this? So based on that, like, oftentimes, you know, people don’t even realize like, how this actually comes into play.

Because here’s the thing, let’s say they mess up, let’s say they fail, and then they run it. And let’s say they failed you and your relationship, right? And they fucking, they just take off, they just take off, they take off, they go, they go elsewhere. They’ve moved on. And it’s like, okay, why, but you’re the one who caused the problem.

Why do you get the reward of running away, running away from your problems, and leaving me here, you know, in the ditch that you put me into, to pick up the pieces on my own. That’s entirely ridiculous. And this is a consistent problem that I see with ESTPs and INFJs. On a regular basis, it would be nice, if they had the self respect, if they had the integrity, if they actually had the character, as people to actually stick around and take the responsibility necessary to actually fix what they broke, and actually fix their mistake.

I mean, these are the people that you know, at the beginning of a relationship, they absolutely love hearing it, when their partner there would be partner tells them, hey, you know, if you ever mess up, I’ll always give you first writers remedy. I mean, it’s always give you the opportunity to fix it, I won’t just arbitrarily abandon you, because you messed up, oh, they love hearing that. But here’s the thing, you may give them that opportunity, but they’re not likely to actually take you up on that, which is frustrating, and gross, and ridiculous. If you make that commitment for them, because then they just like, Oh, it’s just easier for them to you know, go after the low hanging fruit of life, and then just run away and go the other direction.

Oh, my God, annoying. So annoying, especially like when you’re a hard temple Crusader. And then you, like, invest so much in these people. And then they just run? And it’s like, wow, okay, apparently my investment doesn’t matter.

Oh, you don’t feel good enough to stick around all Oh, you’re shirking responsibility, or you’re too afraid to actually face your problems. You’re too afraid to face your mistakes, you’re too afraid to face your failures. Yeah, you are definitely not somebody I should be committed to. Yeah, you should be out of my life, because you’re not even a person anymore at that point.

And it’s funny because they create a self fulfilling prophecy where they will treat people like this, because they already reject themselves. And there’s so external, there’s so people pleasing, they literally tack on their identity based on the level of feedback they receive from other people in their life, especially their lovers. But then they want to, quote, get ahead of it, they want to get ahead of it, and leave you before you leave them because they failed, even though you made the commitment to them, to fix it, to give them the opportunity to fix it. And the eventual time that they do mess up.

That’s one of the reasons why is TPS and inf J’s, you know, like, they need to be around people especially have sexual relationships with people who are strong enough to stick around when they fail. Because they will fail. It’s inevitable. They can’t help it.

They will fail. They’re not perfect. They’re striving to be perfect, which is ridiculous to me. But that’s what they do.

They strive to be perfect. And it’s kind of annoying, but they do it. And they’re like, Okay, yeah, hey, you know, I’m striving to like, you know, be normal, I’m striving to be perfect. And then like, but then I fail because they will fail eventually.

And this is why I always tell people, you know, especially like, women that come into my life, it’s like, okay, look, I need you to be like raw and real, because like, you try to be perfect. It just reminds me of like all the problems I’ve ever had in my whole life related to lust types. And it’s just like, oh my god, you guys are trying so hard to be perfect, but like you’re not. And then because you weren’t perfect and you fail, you just run away.

And you leave me in the dust to pick up the pieces. You know, it’s so interesting about that. It was really interesting about that les types don’t even realize they don’t realize that if there’s like a problem like for example, take an ISTJ the ESTP golden pair or take the ENFP the INFJ golden pair. So these are the RAF types.

So take the RAF types like look, let me tell you something about Raph types ESTP isn’t INFJs. But especially INFJs because INFJ question, let me tell you some about wrath type. So we tell you the secret of wrath types. Wrath types, don’t care if you know what you’re doing.

Wrath types don’t care. If you even know how to solve the problem. Maybe you’re running away, because you don’t actually know how to solve your own failure. Maybe that’s why you’re running away.

But here’s the thing, they don’t care. They don’t care if you know what to do. They just don’t want you to leave. See from their perspective, is that they don’t want to have to face a problem by themselves.

They’re affiliative. After all, they want to be on a team and then all sudden their teammate leaves them because they failed. And then they also don’t know how to fix because they’re shirking their responsibility. Great.

C RAF types need to know that last types are still going to stick around, even if the last type, certainly you have any clue on how to solve the problem that they caused. had no clue. Well, guess what? That’s okay. Because regardless of less time has been the cause of the problem.

Raph types don’t like facing problems by themselves. It’s just nice to have somebody else with them in the ditch to help them figure it out, and be willing to walk the journey to actually figure out those problems. That’s what it’s all about. That’s how graph types wrap types don’t expect you to know the solution to the problem.

They just know that together, they’ll be able to figure it out with you, the less time with you the INFJ. So like stop trying to be perfect, they don’t even want you to be perfect. They don’t even care if you even know how to solve the problem. They just want someone else in the ditch with them, to help them figure it out.

And to be on their team. That’s all they care about. They care about the journey, they don’t care about the outcome or the certainty that you’re gonna be able to solve the problem. Anyway, it’s this phenomenon, which is ultimately what causes INFJs and ESTPs to be irresponsible in their life, because they spend more time running away from their problems, instead of actually facing their problems.

That’s literally yet. That’s what it is. So how does an INFJ get over being super irresponsible. This also counts for ESTPs, how does that happen? Well, by facing your problems head on.

And guess what, you don’t have to do it by yourself. ESPYS were made for affiliative types. So the ESPYs are technically not supposed to be mega pragmatic when it comes to problem solving and trying to do everything on their own. And INFJs are already affiliative.

As is anyway, they want to be on a team anyway. So how about you guys, like let go of your pride, and actually be willing to ask for help or ask people nearby, when you’re actually solving problems, let go of your pride, let go of your need to like outperform everyone because the reality of situation is you can’t, you really can’t. And it’s hubris for you to think otherwise. So the point where it’s kind of gross and disgusting, because of your hubris, see what I’m saying? So like, don’t be that person, like grow up, recognize that it’s not your job to do it all on your own.

I mean, we are human humans are made for relationship. No human being is supposed to do this life. 100% alone. Even God, the Creator said, you know, it’s not good for man to be alone.

That’s why he created woman. That which was taken from man, for men. So that’s the creators perspective. What business do we have thinking otherwise, like, this is why the pursuit of perfection is like, actually stupid.

And it’s funny how les types out of all of the 16 types are the ones that pursue perfection the most, to the point where it’s disgusting and gross and off putting, and they just need to like calm and cool their jets, like seriously cool your jets. You don’t have to like, you don’t have to be like doing that and have that pressure your whole life. Because no one cares. No one cares to even know how to solve the problem.

It’s so funny to me, like, especially like when I’m in relationship with, with with lust types. They’re like, Oh, you’re always expecting me to know the solution to the problem. They start complaining about that. And it’s like, no, actually, I don’t actually kind of a little bit like those.

STJs and those NFPS who don’t actually have that expectation, si users a lot more easy going than you realize. It’s just you know, I’m an intp, when that means just, I’m intimidating AF I get it. But thing is, is that I don’t know everything, but eventually I’ll figure it out. I’d rather have someone nearby to help me or figure it out with me.

That way, I’m not condemned to being just as alone as you folks are less types, the ESTP the INFJ, the most lonely of the types. Well, the reason why they’re so lonely is because of their jealousy or crap like this or they just run away from their problems and shirk responsibility instead of facing it head on. So anyway, folks, thanks for watching, and I’ll see you guys in the next episode.