cs joseph responds
Transcript:
How does an ISFJ handle conflict? Before I can answer please consider subscribing the channel. So my psychopaths, his crime coefficient stays under 300. Yeah, like that’s an anime by the way, probably one of the better enemies have ever watched and hit the alert Well, the alert bell so that you can stay notified when I go live. Because I like to prove to people that I’m actually a live person and not dead or just some random AI coming through to you directly through the screen.
That being said, What’s up you go hackers. I’m CS Joseph. And this is where I respond to your questions all things union analytical psychology, or the four sides of the mind. And the source of today’s question is, will you but asked on Quora, et cetera.
So let’s dive right into the question. How does an ISFJ handle conflict? Sophia Limon thorough, professional audit form from 2014 to present answered on January 2019 2019. Quote, I’ll share what my experience was during events which I was, which I that I consider major conflicts, my initial response to be baffled because I can actually catch on how to hurt how hurt is the other person involved? Maybe that’s an Effie thing. I’m paraphrasing here.
I’m actually at a loss provide I already recognized firsthand that I’m also contributing to the conflict with my own wrongdoing, really kind of love that Fe normalization, you know what I’m saying? But still, the strong anger and disappointment displayed by the other person rendered me speechless. So this person is claiming they’re in ISFJ, my next course of action will be trying to apologize immediately while attempting to explain the reason behind my actions if the situation permits, if not, I’ll stop after apologizing in which it will be continued with back and forth thinking of what I did wrong and how I should have acted. Okay, that’s accurate for ISFJ’s, maybe this is what some people would call the si ti loop, during which I could sometimes actually scold myself harshly in order for my brain to remember those mistakes, avoiding to repeat it in the future.
Meanwhile, if the atmosphere between me and the other person is still awkward, or just playing cold Burr, okay, I usually avoid that person, but due to my strong guilt and fear, okay, that’s accurate, and to keep myself and the other person in on a peaceful timeout, my mind would be filled with thoughts such as is he she angry with me? Would he she reject me or brushed me off when I tried to start a conversation normally, maybe I’ll wait for a little while until I’m sure that he or she is already approachable. This stage could last between one to four weeks. And during those times, I found myself replaying the scenes vividly while contemplating over and over making mental notes until I actually found the courage to ask that person for another personal conversation to close the issue. And finally move on.
That’s long, but I’m yet to find a case where I’m actually totally in the right and the other person is totally in the wrong. Well, it’s not that we’re afraid of conflict. It is if it is work related matters that can be solved peacefully with an exchange of an idea. Or if it’s a conflict necessary to uphold your entire division, let’s say I’ll brace myself to speak out and settle in a professional way.
Okay, I have to upvote that because this does sound like an actual ISFJ. And that point of view is pretty accurate. Although definitely not what I would go for what are you doing? Seriously? What are you doing kitty? Yes, kitty, kitty, kitty. Oh, sorry.
And Mark how officer at the US Air Force 2014. Present. My wife is an ISFJ. She handles conflict primarily by avoiding it in the first place.
Maybe bottling it up until the time is right? Ooh, best, most accurate statement I’ve heard today. The only exception is when it comes when it conflicts with our principles. If someone including her husband, for example, says or does something that she really disagrees with, that seems immoral or just not right in any way. She’ll call them out on it and expect the situation to end from then on.
Until then, whenever there is conflict, she will usually withdraw herself and contemplate how she feels about the entire situation before formulating a plan on how best to deal with it provided that plan in no way compromises on her principles. Yeah, avoiding that. That’s the best answer very actually. ISFJ.
Now the CS Joseph response to how does an ISFJ handle conflict? The answer at the end like it really depends. We’re talking like an immature one or an underdeveloped one versus developed one. It’s basically two different approaches. If it’s a mature one, it is like a mature ISFJ it is head on they will confront it head on because they’ve gotten to the point in their life where they realize they can endure just about anything and there’s really no reason for them to be afraid.
This comes from their virtue and vice and I highly recommend you watch the ISF shave video, which would be if I remember correctly, season seven, Episode 13. If you watch that the virtue advice of iossef J’s it’s called faith versus fear. When an INFJ has absolute faith in oneself as a result of gaining maturity, they will have the endurance and the fortitude to take on any challenge, any task any conflict. And they will face it head on, just to get it out of the way so they can move on with their life, especially since the other sides of the mind is subconscious and their unconscious are both movement oriented also knows progression.
And because of that, they care about the journey. And as a result, in order for them to have a better outcome for themselves, they have to be willing to endure the journey of a potential conflict with another person. So at that point, the ISFJ as a mature INFJ realizes truly, that they don’t actually have anything to lose because of their super high endurance factor. And as a result of having that endurance, they will face that thing head on, and they will basically hunt it down and meet justice upon the person or themselves, if necessary, oftentimes, to the point of at least coaxing the other person to agree to finding some kind of common ground.
That is the mature approach, the immature or underdeveloped approach is to avoid it entirely, stick your head in the sand, sweep it under the rug, and succumb to your own fears. Because iossef j’s are so afraid of not being wanted. And it’s a kind of a rejection, kind of like how I and INFJs are afraid of abandonment or fear of rejection, because of se inferior INFJs have this fear of rejection, because they’re afraid of not being wanted, they’re afraid that they are not desirable enough. And based on that, that can cause a lot of a lot of conflicts, etc.
Watches, they get a lot of cat hair all over myself. Anyway. The point is, is that a fearful iossef J and iossef J, who’s more into their advice, this person will be someone who’s just constantly swept under the rug, and they devalue harmony over everything else, which is actually an underdeveloped Fe parent, because the developed Fe parent will actually start to see the need for discord and chaos. And in some cases, aspects of violence that are necessary in order to get harmony at a later date.
So they ended up having to sacrifice the present for a better future. And that’s more a more mature and developed ISFJ. But the ISFJ, who’s more in the now and more worried about what could happen and so afraid of what could happen and so worried about you know whether or not they’re going to be able to make a proper impact on the the person they ended up just avoiding. And they end up just sticking their head in the sand and they end up bottling it up where it gets super unhealthy.
And then they finally explode later, when finally yet another person doesn’t want them anymore. And they don’t even know what to do with themselves. And that happens. And then they’re taking all that insane amount of bitterness that’s stored up inside of them and taking it out on this one person.
So they could have 20 years of hurt. And then this one person treats them in an unwanted or undesirable way. Meaning that they don’t want the ISFJ and the ISFJ explodes on that person with all of the sort of bitterness of decades, essentially, this is what happens with underdeveloped or immature eyes of Jays is really, really lame. And then okay, Kitty.
Yes, you can go down Hi Kitty, there go. Wow, look at all that hair, you know what I’m saying? So with that being said, you can watch season 19 episode of how to call your family develop an ISFJ, for example, it’s it was available to members before it’s not going to be available again, and you guys will be able to grab it when the test is finally released, which I believe tentatively that September 1. But we’re actually reconfiguring our entire website while our graphic artist is out, do some family issues that I’ve mentioned about previously, but he will be back and when he returns, we’ll get the test finished for you guys. We’ll get it out into production.
And with a completely new website that like actually makes sense. So then you can have a chance to watch season 19 When that actually happens, which I’m very much looking forward to. Anyway, if you’d like a chance of your question being answered on this channel, please post it on Quora and tag me or leave us a comment below. If you’d like a free copy of the Type grid to assist you in typing yourself and others, please visit CS joseph.ly forward slash type grid and put your email and then you will receive the Type grid as a PDF.
Anyway with all that being said, I’ll see you guys tonight.
