How Do Intrigue Relationships Work? | CS Joseph Responds
CS Joseph responds to the Acolyte question how do intrigue relationships work?
Transcript:
Are you noticing what’s happening? Go hackers. Welcome to CS Joseph podcast. Today’s episode we’re gonna be discussing intrigue, relationships, intrigue relationships. What do intrigue relationships look like? But first of all, what are intrigue relationships, a lot of people keep asking because we keep changing the nomenclature over the years.
I mean, at first, we talked about Golden pairs, silver pairs, bronze pairs, super ego, relationships, those kinds of things. And that’s really a remnant from the seats in the CSUN. Net 12. Playlist, here on the YouTube channel or on the podcast.
And that’s something very fascinating or very interesting, like, a lot of people think that social compatibility is the same thing as romantic compatibility, but it’s not. So intriguing relationships is basically a romantic compatibility description. And there are a total of eight, romantic compatibilities. The other eight types out there, they’re not romantically compatible at all, that are not even listed in what we consider romantic compatibility.
So there are eight romantic battery reality relationships. The first one is what we’ve called the Golden pair, but we’re calling it the affection relationship, and it’s based on affection, obviously, then there is the companion relationship, the companion relationship, which was traditionally known as the pedagogue relationship. Now, what’s interesting about the pedagogue and the affection relationship as the top two, they both have the same sexual compatibility with, you know, within those two pairs, basically. So like, for me, and affection relationship would be with an INTJ woman companion relationship would be with an INFJ woman, but they both have, they’re both tied for the same sexual compatibility, basically, within a relationship.
And then the third highest relationship, psychologically, is that it’s a it’s the natural, it’s a natural relationship. That would be like, for example, me with an ISFP. And it’s the most natural I just being who I am. It’s like, you know, where you get that old adage of, like, oh, you know, just just be yourself.
Right? They always say that, when they’re given advice to men, you know, in relationships, just just be yourself, right? It’s all about Be yourself, right? Well, the only relationship out there, out of the remote romantic compatibilities, where you can be yourself is hands down. The natural, it’s only the natural, the natural is the only one, you know. So, the rest of them that’s just not the case. It’s not the case at all.
Be yourself, right, that’s the natural, and then the, and that’s and that’s a and so, second highest sexual compatibility would be like me and ISFP me and an ISTP the ISTP and me would be the entry relationships still as the same sexual compatibility because like, expert sensing parent is matching with Introverted Sensing inferior, right. And expert intuition hero is matching with the NI child of the natural and the intrigue relationships. Then, number five is actually the what we would call the silver pair and that is the relationship based on respect. That is the respect relationship.
Okay, that is number five. Number six, is what we used to call the Benefactor relationship. And that is known as the ENFJ. For me, that would be me and my ex girlfriends, Kim, which season three episode three is basically me kind of describing a little bit of describing her and NF J’s in my life, but also a little bit of insight into our relationship, some of the struggles that we had within our relationship that was in that episode.
So if you want to learn more about that, that’s a good place to go. So so number five, so that’d be number six. Number six, the Benefactor relationship, but also known as the trust relationship. That’s a relationship that’s built upon trust.
Number seven is your super ego relationship, but it’s known as the refinement relationship, right? That is So that’s number seven. And the lowest of the eight sexual compatibilities is the Kindred relationship, a relationship built upon kindness. And that’s basically me and an ESTP, the ESTP and the ESTP. Same exact judgment functions, but has the same sexual compatibility that a superego relationship would have.
My first marriage was a super ego relationship. If you want to learn more about that, and kind of how that went, check out the ESFP episode in Season 21. For that particular one, you can check that out as well. Hopefully, there’s like little pop ups that show up in these videos every time that I’m mentioning, referencing other videos so that you guys can see that and hopefully, my team is putting links to those episodes in the description below.
Hopefully, they’re doing that. And please, God Almighty, I hope they’re doing that. So that you guys can just link to those episodes and just start watching them, you know, so very important, right? As far as like, how the Kindred relationship goes, I mean, you can reference the recent episode that I did on Introverted Sensing inferior, it’s kind of like how some of the negative aspects of the Kindred relationship is, but there is still a lot of positive aspects. And when you consider kindred relationships, you know, this is what what be what my INTJ ex would call a trauma bond, oftentimes kindred relationships, because they’re a relationship built upon kindness.
It’s often for people who have a lot of trauma between both of them, and they just need somebody to be kind to them, right. So that’s why the Kindred relationship gets really popular with people who have a lot of trauma. And that’s where trauma bonds come from, right. Sadly, I didn’t listen to my INTJ ex back in the days, so I gotta give a shout out to Andy because she deserves one.
Because she was absolutely right about trauma bonds. I just didn’t realize how it was applied. And my extra thinking critic just automatically dismissed her and I shouldn’t have and I don’t I seriously regret doing that. So, Andy, I apologize for treating you that way in those days.
Over three years ago, my bad however, yeah, as it may, this particular video is about intrigue relationships. So but before I move on, like, if you guys want answers to your questions, become acolyte members, go to CS Joseph li Ford slash members become a journeyman member, then upgrade your account to acolyte or go to CS Joseph dot life forward slash portal, if you’re already are a journeyman and then click on become an acolyte member from there, and you guys can become an acolyte member. And then you get to ask me one question per month, and I turned it into a podcast episode or a YouTube episode. And also, rumor has it, Chris Taylor will also be taking on questions as well.
And we’ll be uploading them to the podcast and also on the YouTube channel as well, so that he can provide his unique perspective and his unique insights to some of the acolyte members as well. And let me tell you guys like having the opportunity for Chris Taylor to be answering questions is a really, really big deal, especially those of you out there who would like an extroverted thinking perspective, and not necessarily always my pragmatic ti parent perspective, B provides an affiliate of extroverted thinking perspective. So it’s a nice bit of variety. And also like if you’re an acolyte, and there are some questions where you may prefer somebody to answer them, by all means, just ask you may not get you, you may not get it, you may just get me or you may just get him, but we would potentially, I think we would take that into account.
If you guys would rather have Chris answer a question or something, just let us know. I’m sure we’d be we’d be happy to oblige, you know, no problem. So that all being said, the entry relationship, what is the intrigue, relationship all about? Intrigue, obviously, it’s about mystery and cultivating mystery. It’s about bringing the misterioso component to a sexual relationship, basically.
Right. You know, oftentimes, you know, like if you guys read mating in captivity by Esther Perel, which I highly recommend you do read, that’s a great book. The intrigue relationship is a very sexy, powerful relationship. They have a great time in the bedroom, because it’s the relationship that has an insane amount of tension and insane amount of tension.
And remember, the closer you are to somebody, the less sexual sexuality there’s going to be that’s one of the things I learned from Esther Perel, which is very painful thing to read, but it’s like, closeness actually destroys sexuality. It really does. Tension is what actually builds it. Right? It builds, it builds that if you need tension in order to have a great sexual relationship, that’s why when people get married, there’s like a lack of tension.
And then frequency of sex goes down, quality of sex goes down within a relationship, but in an intrigue relationship. Thanks. In an intrigue, relationship, it’s all about intrigue relationship, it’s, it’s, it’s amazing. It’s I mean, it’ll, it’ll blow your socks off, sexually speaking, now you have a lot of conflict, you’ll have a lot of conflict, because there’s almost very little emotional connection.
And it’s constantly like, a debate 24/7. I mean, imagine me, you know, being ti parent, you know, paired up with a TI hero all the time. And it’s like, Oh, my God, you know, but, but the debates just create the tension, that lack of emotional compatibility creates a tension, and it leads to a very satisfying or gratifying sexual thing. So like, they always just bang it out in the bedroom, for example, everything’s cool.
And they end up having that mutual respect, because it’s like, hey, they’ll argue each other till they’re blue in the face, but then they’ll just solve in the bedroom afterwards. Because to each other, because that lack of sexual, or that lack of emotional capacity, that lack of emotional connection, they end up overcompensating for it in the bedroom, right, and it leads to some super spiciness in the bedroom over time. That’s not to say that it’s potentially better than a than an affection relationship. That’s not to say it’s better than a companion relationship.
That’s not to say that it’s better than a natural, it’s not to say that it’s just better. It’s it, it really just depends on like, remember, all these relationships, people often choose their pairings based on what’s missing in their life, right? So I was missing refinement in my life. So I ended up getting married to an ESFP, I was missing a lot of kindness in my life. So I end up getting married to an ESTP.
You see what I’m saying? Folks? Like, sometimes people are missing intrigue in their life, or they’re missing mystery in their life, they’re missing, you know, perhaps their life is very banal, or very boring, right. So that’s why people end up having sexual relationships based on intrigue based on mystery, because the mystery is what’s required to create more tension. It’s could be like, you know, for people who, you know, they, they lead very boring lives, or they’ve been really bored or they’re bored. And their sexual relationships, I’ve noticed that like, when it comes to, you know, people cheating in relationships, they oftentimes cheat with their entry.
Because they’re just looking for something completely original, they’re looking for something entirely mysterious, they’re looking for something that brings immediate tension back into their life, so that they can actually spark a good sex life. Again, that’s ultimately the purpose of the intrigue, relationship. And so when you look at people in entry, like who have intrigued compatibility with one another, there’s always this constant sexual tension between the two and just look at them. And they’re like, they’re kind of they’re almost like almost arguing all the time.
I was always fighting all the time, and just like, and you just look at them, and you’re just like, we’ll get a room. Please put us all out of our misery and go get a room. That’s what it’s all about. That’s an intrigue relationship.
That’s where that archetype comes from. That’s where that saying comes from. When you’re literally telling somebody to get a room. That’s why, you know what I’m saying? That’s where it comes from.
So like, you know, whatever. That’s where it comes from, you know, who wouldn’t want more? More conflict in their life? You know, it’s a relationship that is entirely built upon mystery, and cultivating conflict for the sake of bringing about more tension to that ultimately leads to great sex. That’s, that’s the purpose of the relationship. Not only that, it also brings about exploration.
It allows people to explore themselves in ways that they’ve never been able to explore because of this constant Miss mystery. They want to explore the mystery. And then all of a sudden, they develop new sexual proclivities, new sexual tastes, anything to you know, save them from the banal or anything. That’s boring, right? That’s what the intrigue relationship is all about.
Another good part about the intrigue relationship is that It constantly challenges people’s ego investments when they are in that relationship, and they actually become stronger for it over time. It’s kind of like how the super ego provides refinement. But it’s more of a sharpening of a person’s beliefs or sharpening for Te users are a sharpening of a person’s ideas, which is Ti users, when ti users get together in a intrigue, relationship, and that can be very, very beneficial. So not only are they having great sex on a consistent basis, but they’re also making each other far more intelligent them before.
Granted, there’s a lack of emotional connection. And these two types are not going to be able to meet each other’s emotional needs. That’s why they always have to overcompensate for the lack of emotional needs being met to that sexual connection and overdo the sexual connection for that say, not a bad thing, really not a bad thing. Now, is this a? Is this a relationship that is sustainable over time, such that, you know, you could have a one on one monogamous relationship over this kind of compatibility? No, no, I don’t think so.
Honestly, I think monogamy is best suited for the top three, which would be affection, companion and natural with likely affection and natural being the absolute best for monogamy. But I’m not a person who recommends monogamy either because I think monogamy like actually can end up destroying families and destroying children over time, especially in our decadent society where open hypergamy is the norm. And, you know, men are treated like second class citizens in their relationships. And then when children come along, third class citizens are an animal’s come on third classes when children come on fourth class citizens and then just, you know, men end up becoming phased out or deleted basically, from within their own family, so underneath their own roofs of their lives, which ends up causing them to seek out entry relationships.
Anyway, it’s so interesting. It’s so interesting. And then when you look at, you know, the biological proclivities of women and sexual pre selection, or the chances of women, poaching men from other women, you know, it’s usually like the intrigue, relationship kind of gets in there, right? This also happens all the time, we do have that woman who’s a cougar, she’s like, 40 to 50 years old, but she’s getting with a 20 or 30 year old man, basically. That’s ultimately why Right.
Which I find, I find it utterly, utterly fascinating to me, you know, so, but regardless, like, you know, if a person’s needs in their life is not being met, you know, these sexual relationships, these did these eight compatible relationships ultimately, exist to fulfill that need, and people will naturally find people that can fulfill that need, or, or fill that hole that they have within themselves, that’s not being met. Now, granted, I think affection relationships, and natural relationships are the absolute best for filling all the holes. And if you were going to commit to monogamy, definitely go for those kinds of relationships first and foremost, and have children with those relationships. But for the other ones, maybe not so much.
Probably not. But again, that’s just a recommendation. I mean, obviously, you all can live your life the way you want to do. I’m just saying what’s optimal from a long term point of view perspective, right.
You know, like, everyone has their own tastes, everyone has their own needs. And they’re all based on different things, right. So keep that in mind. Keep that in mind.
So like that’s, that’s what the intrigue, relationship purposes, that’s what it’s for. That’s kind of what it’s like, we’re going to be doing a lecture series on the intrigue relationships. Looking at season four, I think we’re probably that’s probably gonna be season or season 14, season 14, Part Five is probably what we’re gonna be doing for entry relationships. So one thing at a time, we’re going to be getting there and discussing those roles when discussing dual duality relationships in the very near future.
And that’s also going to be very interesting as well. So make sure you guys become journeyman members for when that content gets released. I do know, though, that in the very near future, a season 14 release will be made publicly available to the YouTube and the podcast. But I think that we’re gonna be discussing the Socionics approach to ISFJ plus EMTP or ISFP plus E and TJ, you know, like the polar opposite relationships.
I think we’re gonna be releasing that to the public, but in terms of the other relationships where it’s very compatible, it’s going to be behind the paywall in the members area. So if you want to get in on that I recommend you become a member now see it shows that I forge slash members so anyway and listening and I’ll see you guys on the next episode
