How Do I Help an ISTP Feel Better About Themselves? | CS Joseph Responds
CS Joseph Responds to the Acolyte question how do i help an ISTP feel better about themselves?
Transcript:
Hey what’s up ego hackers Welcome to CS justice podcast. I’m your host CS Joseph and we are doing even more questions because that’s how it is. And of course we have eight rules for love ongoing as well and I believe the next episode is the eight rules for loving INTPs. Shay’s are is Yes, I believe it is.
And then also, we have hypocrisy of INFJs that is also going to be releasing in the members area if it hasn’t already. And hypocrisy of ISFJs as well, this month, you want to get in on that action, CSS to.ly forward slash members become a journeyman member, so you can get access to all that awesome private content. Make sure you guys also watch the cutting edge podcast there are there’s a years of episodes and most episodes are like two hours long of crazy psychological awesomeness. So yeah, especially we had a fantastic episode with Chris Taylor recently, he was a guest on the show.
And it was incredible. It was absolute incredible talking about guidance functions. If you want to learn more about guidance functions, I highly recommend you get a membership. So anyway, today’s question, how do I help an ISTP feel better about themselves? This is actually an insanely easy question.
Because remember, you know, ISTPs, have fear of not being accepted or liked by other people, that’s due to extroverted feeling inferior, and they go out of their way, even to the point of overcompensating their entire life of just, they just feel unacceptable, ultimately. And literally, all you have to do to get them to feel better about themselves is really just by providing them acceptance, it’s, it’s it’s not hard, it’s not really even challenging. It’s not challenging in any way, shape, or form. That’s just kind of how they roll.
And oftentimes, a lot of people see them. And it’s extremely harsh, extremely, extremely stubborn, very prideful, which is very normal for an ISTP. But the differences is that if you actually really care about their feelings, I mean, you have to understand that they don’t care about their feelings, they don’t care about what they feel, they don’t make decisions based on a mood, they don’t make a decision based on what’s good or bad. They make a decision based on what’s good or bad for everybody.
But in terms of what they themselves value, it doesn’t matter. It’s not even, it’s not even a priority to them. So my question is, like, why is it a priority to you to get them to feel better about themselves when they don’t care to begin with. But let’s say you want to do this, and you could do this, but it would really only be temporary, because remember, the Inferior function is an infant, it is an infant child, okay? It just does whatever it does, it likes to sleep, it likes to have a bottle likes to be fed, likes to be held, etc.
It these things are normal, okay, that’s what they do. And then they cry, they get upset, and then they keep you up at night. And no one likes the baby crying, no one does. But when the Inferior function is crying, nobody likes it, because then the demon is definitely going to be coming around the corner due to cognitive orbit, that is a thing.
Okay, you have to be very careful with the Inferior function. So they have an F fi demon. And fi demon, by default doesn’t like anything, they don’t even like themselves, they really, really don’t. And because they don’t like themselves, they assume everyone else around them doesn’t like them either.
Welcome to Expert feeling inferior. This is why they are afraid of not being accepted by other people because by default, they do not accept themselves. So really, this question is basically how do I help an ISTP accept themselves? You can’t. You can’t, it is only something that they can do.
And this is why I recommend especially STP or INFJ tempore men read the book, the manual by W and W anten. Is an ESTP. He wrote the book and inside the book, he says, most people assume it’s a pickup arts book. No, it’s not.
It’s actually a philosophical manifesto about sexual relationships, but whatever. But the point is, is that in the book, W anten says, hey, whatever you do in life, you need to get to a point in your life where you accept yourself 100% of the good and the bad, because you won’t be happy in life, especially you won’t be able to get a relationship with a woman until you do basically, right. But it’s extremely difficult for ISTPs because they basically Glee already hate themselves. They don’t accept themselves because of the fit demon.
And the only way that for them to gain acceptance is through external sources. They cannot be that self acceptance just doesn’t really do anything for ISTPs. Oh, yeah, I feel better about this. whoop dee doo hook cares.
I don’t care. Yeah, they don’t care, they really don’t care. So how do you deal with that? Well, here’s how by you being caring, obviously. And since the person whose answer asking this question has an FYI, inferior, as like, maybe you should be afraid of not being grateful enough to your ISTP in your life, actually give them a thank you.
People often don’t even think ISTPs at all, sometimes they assume ISTPs are only being helpful because they’re trying to get something out of people which guess what is often true, but sometimes not. It’s uncommon, not rare, but not common, either. It is uncommon for an ISTP. To give for the sake of giving, I’m not saying they’re incapable of it.
But it does happen. And it’s at those moments, where they are just giving to you without expecting anything in return, I think it would be wise to say thank you for the Thank you. And also like actually provide some gratitude. For once.
Gratitude is a major important deal with it. Like Without gratitude, they’re just going to fall apart. They’re not going to have any joy in life. And then they’re just gonna get super mega melancholy and depressed.
Because it’s like, nobody notices me Senpai nobody values me. Nobody likes me. So why bother? You know, and this is this whole crap. And yet at the same time, like, they realize that people don’t like them.
And people don’t accept them after a while. And then they just cover up that lack of acceptance with pride, and then they become insanely stubborn. And then you have this old codger on your hands who’s incapable of listening to anybody. It’s one of the worst things in the world.
And then they start controlling everybody else in their life, because most freedom, right, they can get very controlling. So if you really want to cut through all their BS, then I highly recommend you actually just go up to him and say, Thank Thank you. And then like, seriously, when you’re thanking them, follow it up with other gestures, actions, because the only thing I used to be cares about is action. They don’t care about words, follow up your thank you with, Hey, I did this thing for you.
So it’s like an unexpected surprise. It’s like an unexpected exchange, where you giving them something after they’ve given to you, even though it wasn’t expected. Oh, that’s, that’s like the greatest thing to an ISTP. They love it.
They absolutely love it. And that’s literally how you got to live life around them. Do unexpected good things for them or give them unexpected good gifts to them, meaningful ones, valuable ones, and then do them favors and give them a special treatment. You want them to feel special, you want them to feel better about themselves, then you need to give them special treatment.
It’s not that hard. Okay? Show and Prove. Gratitude is not just to say things that express gratitude. It’s not good enough to express gratitude with what you say.
You have to express gratitude with your actions, because that’s how an ISTP will know that it’s actually real. And you’re not being fake, like most people in their life, to the point where they have so many fake people in their life that guess what the INFP super ego of the ISTP will make them fake too. Because it’s like, Hey, you have everyone else who’s behaving badly. That means I have to behave badly to or hey, if everyone else is being irresponsible, I don’t have to be responsible, which is actually ridiculous.
They do have like eyes TVs you do have to be responsible if other people around you are irresponsible, period, end of story. And if you think that’s okay to live life like that, that means you’re basically a loser. Yeah, you’re a loser. No one’s gonna stick around for you.
No one’s going to like you. You want people to like you. Maybe you should be responsible when everyone else around you is irresponsible, then people like you might want to think about that. You might want to humble yourself just just just just a smidge.
Just a little bit and I think you like actually may enjoy life as a result. So anyway, folks, thanks for watching this episode or listening to this episode on podcast today. I’m CS Joseph, and I’ll see you guys tonight Sue Can you too Are you building
