CS Joseph answers the Acolyte question how can an ISTP find forgiveness after being abusive Sexually?
Transcript:
Welcome to the CS Joseph podcast. I’m your host CS Joseph, naturally, obviously, and today’s episode is not exactly I’m not a fan of the question. But at the same time, like, I understand that someone’s got to ask the question sometime eventually. So I’m not too like butthurt about it.
I mean, it is what it is. So today’s question is, how can an ISTP forgive himself for being sexually abusive? Which is crazy question, but I totally understand why it was being asked. And I understand like the spirit with which it was asked. So I’m actually going to be referring to a show on Disney plus, that I would actually recommend to the ISTP to watch so that we can understand what it takes to be on the path to redemption, right? That’s ultimately what this what this episode is about.
It’s about redemption. But before I begin, obviously, I you know, don’t sexually abuse anybody. I mean, that goes without saying, you know, I was, I was sexually abused. I’ve been sexually abused from age five to 14.
And that sucked. And there was other certain situations in my adulthood, which were less than classy will say, and it’s just, you know, shit happens. I’m not trying to make excuses justification for anyone. But here’s the thing.
The people who have abused me, guess what? I did forgive them, you know, especially, especially if they admitted it, but I do forgive them. That doesn’t mean they get to be in my life. Right? Doesn’t mean I want them in my life. But I forgave them so great, but does it you know, like, awesome, you know? No, you know? Yeah, I mean, fant family members and whatnot.
But still, I still love them. You know, and it’s, it’s just, that’s just me, I’m able, I’m able to forgive that not everybody is and I don’t expect everyone to be able to, it’s really, it’s really painful, you know, so. But anyway, there’s a show on Disney plus, that involves a affiliative. affiliative, ISTJ, and a, and a pragmatic ISTP.
And this Disney show is called Falcon and Winter Soldier. It’s one of the Marvel shows basically. And I recommend watching the show because there’s a one of the one of the core themes of the show, you know, the Winter Soldier, he’s an ISTP. And he’s carrying this huge, huge burden of guilt because he was used as an assassin, and he killed people all the time.
And there was one particular situation in the show, and I don’t care spoiler, whatever. There’s one particular situation in the show where he ended up killing a man’s son, basically. And throughout the entire show, he goes and has lunch with this man, as part of like his redemption arc, and he’s feeling so guilty. So he befriends the man who said he killed his man.
And this man doesn’t even know that he killed his son. This man doesn’t even know that he was an assassin. And his son just basically got caught in a crossfire basically, and to get rid of witnesses, his son witnessed an assassination. And his son ultimately, basically got caught in the crossfire.
And then you know, the winter soldier killed him, The Winter Soldier is an ISTP carries guilt with extroverted feeling inferior, which is likely what this ISTP. This ISTP acolyte, who asked this question, you know, so, I know I’m not revealing any names, and it’s all anonymous and whatnot, so don’t worry about it. But like, the reality of the situation is, is that the guilt that’s carried around by extroverted feeling inferior can be absolutely detrimental, if not debilitating, and ultimately can actually lead to an ISTP committing suicide. And don’t get me wrong the Winter Soldier definitely considered that.
Definitely consider that for like, a long time. Like, it’s definitely definitely something that’s been in his head, definitely something that he’s faced, personally, you know, throughout you know, throughout the show, basically, as a as a fictional character, you know, as much as we can. And he befriended Falcon in the show, and then shout in Falcon as to this affiliative ISTJ who was just giving him advice as to what to do. And Falcon was like, hey, you know, for all these people on your list and all these People that you killed all these innocent people that you killed, you know, just put in the work.
Like literally put in the work, you have to go up to one and be strong enough to actually admit wrong, admit that you did something wrong, because it’s only through admitting something wrong, that you will actually be able to, to gain healing to gain redemption. Because remember folks like the ISTP lesson of the demon of Introverted Feeling demon is that they have to instead of rely on external sources of acceptance, they have to learn how to gain self acceptance for themselves. They have to learn that. And oftentimes, you know, people, people don’t know, right? People don’t know how, like ISVs don’t know how to not rely on external sources of validation, basically, in order for them to accept themselves and be able to live with themselves, especially if they did something as bad as sexual abuse or as bad as murder, or assassination in the case of the Winter Soldier, right? So really, my first piece of advice is to like, seriously, just go watch that show.
And do it follow the advice that Falcon gives the Winter Soldier and then actually do it take full responsibility for your actions. What’s really great about Falcon in that show is that him being an ISTJ. He has the deadly sin of wrath, right? He has the cognitive origin of justification, but his living virtue is absolution. And that’s ultimately what the Winter Soldier is looking for.
That is actually what their friendship is based on the Winter Soldier is looking for absolution. And the Falcon character ends up becoming the source of absolution for the Winter Soldier. And so based on that, the Winter Soldier then he’s like, okay, and then he goes to the man and he actually admits to the man at the very end, you know, I killed your son, right. And of course, it cuts out there because we don’t see what happens next, we’ll probably see on the next Falcon Winter Soldier if there is another episode.
So that’s the thing. And that’s really what it takes. Because the ISTJ was telling that as to you know, ISTP is like, Hey, if you want to have solution, you got to put in the work, you have to earn the absolution. And ultimately, if you want that, absolutely, you need that absolute in order to gain self respect, or self acceptance, excuse me, because of Introverted Feeling demon, right.
You can’t rely on external sources. For your acceptance you yourself have to become your own source of acceptance, you have to awaken your Introverted Feeling demon, but even Introverted Feeling demon knows that the good thing is to go out there and admit that you did something wrong. One thing about wrath types, which is super interesting about them, is that once they feel justified and being wrathful, towards someone, and that other person takes their wrath, then all of a sudden, that person, they just instantly forgive that person, because that leads to justification. Because, okay, they paid the price, great, I can move on, and then they just forgive that person.
That’s why ISTJ is our sources of forgiveness, and, and sources of redemption. That’s what the Winter Soldier is looking for. Right? ENFPs do the same thing. Right? It’s just a little bit more intimate when it comes from the perspective of an ISTJ instead of you know, something that’s very charitable, it’s something that’s available to everyone, and a standard of absolution, a standard of redemption, a standard of forgiveness, which is what ultimately an ENFP provides.
Whereas an ISTJ is more on a case by case basis because of their Introverted Thinking critic that comes from their ESTP shadow their unconscious, psychologically speaking, right? So that’s, that’s really what you have to do. So the answer this question is literally the following. Put in the work. literally put in the work, as the Falcons said to the Winter Soldier put in the work, you have to have something concrete to show for at the end of the day.
And the only concrete thing that you could do as an ISTP. At the end of the day, is admit fault. Admit it, go admit fault, take full responsibility for your actions to the people that you damage. And you know what chances are, if you’re an ISTP, maybe this person is an ISTJ, maybe this person is an ENFP, maybe this person will actually forgive you.
And then because they forgave you, because you had the guts because you had the balls to seek absolution because you had the balls to admit it. You know, at a minimum, they may not forgive you, they may not absolve you. They may not give you that redemption. But you know, at least God the Creator would because you were a man, you were man enough to admit fault.
And that’s what it takes. That’s literally what it takes. So the answer the question is, ultimately make sure you are putting in the work. Because if you’re not putting in the work, you’re being fake, and that’s why you’re so depressed all the time.
That’s why you feel worthless all the time. That’s why you feel useless all the time. That’s why you can’t forgive yourself because you know, your SI critic knows at the end of the day, you are not putting your effort into the right place as an ISTP. That’s the facts.
That’s the truth. And if you actually want to have a future, if you actually want to be able to accept yourself, put in the work, use the wisdom of your SI critic. Sure. You might end up incarcerated Sure, you might end up in jail over sure there’s a ton of really bad consequences.
But at the end of the day, I think those things are much better than committing suicide. Okay, so go put in the work regardless of the risk. That’s my recommendation, and that’s my advice on this particular question. And we folks, thanks for watching, and I’ll see you guys in the next episode.
