How can an INFJ transcend the challenges to developing? | CS Joseph Responds
CS Joseph Responds to the Acolyte question how can an INFJ transcend the challenges to developing?
Transcript:
Welcome to the CS Joseph podcast. I’m your host, CS Joseph. And today we have an INFJ related a question from the acolyte members of this today. And that’s what this episode is all about.
So it’s actually kind of a longer question, but I think it’s important to share the depth or the context of the question with the audience, just so that we can all figure it out. And by the way, if you’d like to have your question answered by me in video or podcast format, become an acolyte member CS joseph.ly, forward slash members, sign up as a journeyman then upgrade your account to acolyte or go to CS joseph.ly, forward slash portal, if you are already a journeyman, and then click on the acolyte section to upgrade your account from there, and then you get one question per month that turns into a video response here on YouTube or on the podcast, so awesome. Let’s get to the question. So, quote, I feel others emotions very strongly to the point that when faced with someone who is internally suffering acutely, for example, in the throes of grief, existential crisis or nihilism, my body quite literally manifest the pain I feel others suffering as via physical pain.
This unquestionably shapes daily relationships with others and the human world. There’s both an adorable call to liberate others from their suffering and a dichotomous need to protect myself from pain. I shift hugely from extremes of no boundaries at all, I’ve repeatedly put myself at risk to help others who are visibly suffering. I have learned from you Ajay, that perhaps this is just enabling to being harshly alienating.
There is unfathomable guilt and shame that I’m not enough to alleviate human beings from pain, and a relentless need to drive forwards and developing myself to do so well, you should be careful with that unfathomable guilt and shame because that is technically a god complex, okay, that is Ti child God Complex, you are literally playing God, even though it doesn’t feel that way. That’s technically what you’re doing. Right? And that’s going to be a problem for you and everyone in your life. Let’s not do that.
Because if you really think about it, you’re literally electing yourself the healer of the world, which is not accurate. It’s not true. And quite frankly, it comes off as hubris. So please, please, please dial that back.
It’s not it’s not accurate. And then they go on, I’m acutely aware of my own potential, what holds me back is fear or perhaps repulsion of the pain of the world, why pain is absolutely necessary. And you have to understand that pain in this world is a gift. It is ultimately what creates character, it is really what separates us, between the animals, and who are three dimensional thinking versus us who are four dimensional thinking within our minds.
It is one of the aspects of our sentience and without pain in the world, there is no growth. And growth itself is actually the purpose of life. So if you’re going to remove the pain of the world, you are actually potentially not healing somebody. And you may think that they’re helping you’re helping them when you’re actually really hurting them by taking away their opportunity or even taking away their pain.
My philosophy is, I increase people’s pain, often, for their own good, as much as people increase my pain often for my own good, okay, because pain is necessary. Pain is actually a gift pain, is something worth seeking out because it provides growth. Are you admitting here that you’re actually inhibiting somebody’s ability to grow? Are you trying to become the nanny of the world? That’s not going to make strong men? Do you think masculinity is going to come back? Do you think femininity is going to come back as a result of that? Do you think our children will even have a future if you don’t allow the pain of the world to continue? Because like, think about it this way, the United States of America, Western society, there is no such thing as masculinity and that’s why it will be easily conquered by Eastern society where masculinity actually is. And it’s because there are people out there who are going out of their way to create the nanny state of the Western society with all these you know, because you know, the affiliative is all about you know, saving people from survival of the fittest, whereas survival of the fittest is what makes a society unconquerable.
Okay. So I would recommend, actually a allowing the pain in the world to continue. Because if you don’t, we won’t have a future. And you would be in effect, like you want to take pain away from humanity.
Well, great, you’ve just doomed humanity, you’ve just we will be extinct. Okay? Like, humanity can’t handle that. We can’t mentally we can’t psychologically handle that. So I think perhaps maybe you shouldn’t be repulsed by the pain of the world, you should actually embrace the pain of the world, and actually use that to measure people’s growth and your growth in your life.
The problem is, is that with your extroverted sensing demon, you don’t actually keep track of how people have grown or your own growth because you forget, or it’s just not that important to you. So what you’re going to have to do is be responsible, and create for yourself memory totems surrounding people in your life, so that you can actually keep track of where they were at one point in time. Where are they and compare that to where they are now? Okay. That is how an INFJ can actually be more capable with actually helping people instead of just by default, oh, the pain of the world is bad.
This is bad. This is bad. And it’s like, you know, Why be afraid of the pain of the world? Why be repulsed by the pain of the world, the pain of the world is absolutely necessary. And again, this goes back to what I was previously saying about ti child God Complex.
This is literally hubris, this is technically arrogance. And you’re being arrogant right? Now, you might want to let go of that and instead embrace the pain and the suffering of the world. Because it is insanely necessary. Without it, we can’t even be human.
Without it. We have no future. Okay. So it’s a quote, it’s important that I can can understand what this all is so I can continue to progress.
Yes, definitely embrace pain, including your own pain, I continue to struggle with self harm, it must be overcome. Yeah, you should absolutely stop self harming, that would be highly recommended. The thing is, is that like, here’s the thing, like, I have to say that if you’re not going to value yourself enough to stop self harming, what makes you think other people are going to value you what makes you think people are even going to be willing to accept help from you, what makes you think that people will actually look up to you and stick around for you, they’re not going to so stop self harming, it doesn’t help anybody. Oh, but it makes me feel alive, actually, you’re probably just too afraid to go out and perform because of your se inferior performance anxiety, so then you just stay at home and self harm instead.
So the reality of the situation is like because here’s the reality, you know, because of cognitive orbit, Introverted Sensing demon, is attached to extroverted sensing, inferior, introverted, sensing demon is all about self harm. It’s all about self destruction, it’s all about lighting yourself on fire and hoping that gets attention from other people. So self harm is literally an INFJ is way for a it’s literally them just crying for attention. That’s all it is.
It’s just a cry for attention. That’s all it is. It is nothing more than that. So you don’t want to be like, like, I know a woman who is an INFJ, who stays home every day, she goes to work, she comes home, she’s a dog mom, and even even has her little doggy business or whatever.
And then she she self harms, she hits herself, she cuts herself. So she does all these things to herself, when in reality situation is she’s just a pussy because she’s too pussy to go out in public, and make new friends and potentially perform for other people. She’s really just afraid. And it’s that fear, that is actually the source of INFJ self harm.
It’s really, really frustrating. Okay, so like, please, please stop self harming, recognize that the self harm is actually due to your performance anxiety, or your fear of abandonment, or your fear of rejection, or your fear of disloyalty, or your worry of other people not wanting you anymore. Because and here’s the thing, you’re out of practice, you’re not good at performance, because you’re not practicing performing. Because you’re so afraid of failure in doing so how about you go out there, be around people and fail over and over and over so that you get the practice that you need? So you could stop failing? That way you can walk around in public with confidence instead of fear.
But here’s the thing, you have to put in the work and you’re too afraid to put in the work and because you’re too afraid to put in the work, you’re self harming with your little cry for attention. Really? How does that even make sense? How are you actually going to have a good future? How are you going to be even remotely valuable enough to help other people? Okay, because literally you’re just just perpetuating the old adage hurting people hurt people. You’re just going to hurt more people. Because you sound like a wreck.
And honestly, like I’m very, very concerned about you right now. Like, come on, no, no stop. So you continue to struggle with self harm, because you’re afraid. That’s actually all it is.
And you’re afraid, because you’re afraid of failure. And you’re afraid of failure, because you won’t practice and stop failing. But the only way to stop failing is to fail. You have to practice, go be around, people go socialize.
I don’t care how draining it is. At least that means after you’ve been drained so hard as an INFJ, maybe you might actually get some sleep. Maybe you might get some sleep because you INFJs don’t sleep for some reason. But you might actually last it was the reason but you might actually get some sleep because you’re so drained.
Because you’re out there practicing performing around people. It’s not hard, do it. Okay. They go on, quote, Yogi and analytical psychology seems to offer more in terms of understanding this than most other things I have delved into investigating an idea that is perhaps experience of other people’s pain, is Fe parenting acting in some way? No, it’s It’s literally your Extraverted Feeling parent is underdeveloped.
And it’s really just a mix of Te trickster with your TI child God Complex, cognitive looping with ni hero and ti child while being afraid of failure and having performance anxiety, all at the same time. That’s actually what’s going on. But you know, you need to learn how to reject people, you need to learn how to get the losers out of your life, okay? Because you’re marrying the losers and you’re becoming a loser yourself. And here’s the thing, like, if you’re, if you’re an INFJ, and you’re self harming, I have to say, like, you’re basically a loser, because you are giving into fear.
That’s the problem. You need to have courage. And you should be the one who has courage because you have ni hero, the avatar of courage itself, with the fire of courage that comes from Introverted Intuition. That is who you actually are, that is your identity.
You are a winner in life in that area. But you just want to self harm, really, really get out of your house, you’re no use to anybody there. Go make yourself useful, go volunteer, at least do something. You know, it’s like what Jesus said in the New Testament regarding the parable of the talents, right? What happened to the guy who put the talent he was given into the ground? Well, bad things happen to that guy.
But the guy who actually went and invested it, and made a bunch of, you know, a bunch of profit, he was heavily rewarded. And then everything that was given to the man who put everything into the ground was taken away from him and given to the guy who was the top performer. You see what I’m saying? But you have to be willing to fail. And your fear of failure is leading to self harm.
That’s the actual problem here. All right, now we actually get to this person’s question, quote, my question is, is this something that you recognize an Effie parent? No? And if so, do you have any thoughts now an INFJ can transcend the challenges of that in order to develop towards their purpose, okay, you want to develop towards your purpose, stop being afraid, stop having your TI child God Complex, you are not God, let go of the hubris. Accept the fact that you’re a poor performer. No one actually wants you, no one likes you.
Okay, you need to accept these things. And after accepting that, then you can begin the path to building yourself up, you can build yourself and become something so much more, okay? All you have to do is stop comparing yourself to other people, and compare yourself to just yourself. Your te trickster only has enough comparison capability to compare one thing at a time. Okay, just one thing at a time.
And the only thing you should be comparing as yourself to yourself, you have to make sure that you look backwards to at least yesterday and be like, am I better than I was yesterday? Yes or no? And if you were great, that’s all you have to do. You just have to race yourself. You just have to be better with it. All right.
That’s, that’s it. That’s the reality. That’s how you transcend these challenges. Let go of your performance anxiety, let go of your fear of failure.
Let go of your god complex, right? And start understanding that this is actually how you become a good person, you become a good person. So your FY critic doesn’t have to tell you every day, how horrible of a person you are and how machine like you are. Like, that’s not even going to be an issue anymore. You won’t feel novel, you won’t feel worthless anymore, because you are practicing, and you are practicing so that you can fail 1000 times so that you can succeed 1000 times afterwards, you’re going to have to make every single mistake in the book.
First, you have to put in the time you have to put in the work. It’s that simple. Why do you as ni hero get the shortcut your way around to self harm because you’re unwilling to put in the effort. Your Introverted Sensing demon is trying to tell you to put in more effort.
But like i NT J’s, you want to just take the quick, easy route. Okay. And that’s wrong. And yeah, you may not know which path to walk, that’s okay.
walk a path until you fail, then start a different path until you don’t fail. It’s not hard or focus on one path and fail 1000 times until you get it right. That’s literally how life works for an INFJ. And it is arrogant for any INFJ to think that they don’t have to do that every single INFJ has to put in that much effort to the point where an INFJ has to realize that via their si demon, they have to work harder than anyone else on the entire Earth.
I recommend you no longer be in denial of that and instead move forward in your life so that you are putting in the work. So the answer to the question is put in the work that is how you transcend the challenges so that you can develop towards your purpose. So anyway, folks, I think I’ve answered that question and beat this dead horse pretty well. Thanks for watching and listening and I’ll see you guys tonight you’re stone silver so can you you building strong
