ENFJ and INTJ? Yuck….But Then Again… | CS Joseph Responds
ENFJ and INTJ? Yuck….But Then Again… CS Joseph responds to the Acolyte question, how would an ENFJ and INTJ marriage work out?
Transcript:
Welcome to the CS Joseph podcast. I’m your host, CS Joseph. And today we’re doing acolyte questions. Today’s acolyte question is, how do I make an INTJ male and ENFJ female marriage work? Excuse me while I go jump off a bridge, because that marriage should never actually be possible.
That sounds like the pit of despair, the embrace of insanity, and also everything inside of that medicine cocktail that someone receives in a psych ward. Definitely not a marriage or relationship that I would recommend, by any means or any stretch of the imagination. Could you imagine an INTJ with ENFJ it’s like two, it’s like two N J’s. It’s like a battlefield of the relationship.
I guarantee you these people don’t even have sex. So I guess you couldn’t even call it a sexual relationship. I mean, it’s like these two just got stuck in some kind of religious convent, and then were forced by the religious convent to actually start a relationship. And then they they got married, and the only time they had sexual intercourse was literally their wedding night.
And that’s it. Otherwise, they have nothing else to offer each other and others, and it looks like it’s something that is entirely crazy and or just ridiculous. And so yeah, I I’m not a fan of this particular situation, because I guarantee you these people are not having any sexual relationship. Because think about it.
The INFJ, you know, is trying to get on top of that INTJ. And the INTJ is si demon. It’s just right there. And they’re just, you know, stoically just laying there being like, wow, this is really lame.
And the INFJ is like, Hey, I’m gonna give you all these tons sensations, and you’re gonna react to me in the SI demons like, Matt, Matt. And then the ENFJ feel sober, oh, it’s such a bad person, because I can’t perform sexually in the bedroom. And this sucks. You know, and then the INTJ is like, man, still meth.
But of course, you could reverse that situation. And then the INTJ is on top of the ENFJ. And you know, definitely trying to go for it. And then the ENFJ it’s just like, basically making love to a dead fish at that point, because the ENFJ doesn’t even know how to react and it’s just like, I’m going to react too much, or, Oh, I’m going to react too little, just in time for the expert intuition nemesis, the INTJ man to kick in and accuse her of faking an orgasm.
Wow, that really sucks. Sucks to be them. So even from a sexual perspective, this relationship is not even remotely going to work. They have like zero sexual compatibility.
Like Like, not only that, you have the you have the extroverted sensing inferior trying to target what the Introverted Sensing trickster of the ENFJ Yeah, no, that’s not going to happen. Because here’s the thing, when you have cognitive functions sexually or emotionally, they need to be paired up with functions that are just as optimistic and pessimistic as they are an extroverted sensing inferior is guess what? pessimistic, introverted, sensing Trickster is optimistic. So yeah, it’s not going to happen. Or conversely go the other way.
Expert sensing child of the ENFJ is targeting the Introverted Sensing demon, which is super mega pessimistic and extroverted sensing child is like optimistic. So it’s like, hey, I want you to feed your child to my demon. Sure, I’m sure my demon will gobble you all up and you’ll really enjoy the experience. I’ve said this example so many times, it’s literally just two painters in a room trying to paint each other.
And they’re just like wiggling their, their, their paint brushes actually constantly trying to like make some actual work of art. And then nothing’s happening except it’s getting messy. The reality of the situation is, is that when it comes to sexual relationships, someone’s got to be on top, the painter someone’s got to be on bottom the canvas or, versus the other way. Sometimes the painter is on the bottom to give the canvas the opportunity to be on the top for a limited time.
Okay. This is literally how sexuality works. This is the exchange between extroverted sensing and Introverted Sensing Introverted intuition to expert intuition. That is how sexuality works in sexuality is in the perception functions.
This is why women when compared to men, women, sexuality is their number one if not actually only agency, okay? That’s why women control sexuality because they are the perceptive, gender, the perceptive sex within the race of humanity, right? Whereas men bring judgment to the table. Okay, but that’s a little bit different. But speaking of judgment, let’s look at how these two types are compatible from an emotional perspective. To give extroverted feeling Hiro is touching that Introverted Feeling child.
And you know what, just as soon as that came out of my mouth, I realized that was pretty effed up. That being said, there is some emotional compatibility there. Okay? Kind of makes sense. It can be a thing.
The ENFJ would adopt the values of the INTJ. And yeah, everyone’s happy, right? Well extroverted thinking. Parents is also helping the Introverted Thinking inferior. So at least they have the natural pairs of emotional compatibility, but zero sexual compatibility whatsoever, and yet they’re in a marriage, which last I checked, marriage was a sexual relationship.
Usually should be. So yeah, how would they make this relationship work? Okay, so, if these people are not mistyped, if these people are not mistyped, there’s really only one thing that can be done to keep this relationship together. They need to have an open marriage, they need to give each other permission to have sexual relations with other people, because there is no way that this marriage is going to work. And if they have children, their relationship and the lack of sexuality within this relationship, we’ll be destroying the children, and also be a bad example to the children and basically ruin their children and their legacy for the rest of their lives.
That would really suck a lot. Don’t do it. Please, please don’t do it. But yeah, I mean, you know, when this question came in, I’m like, Okay, well, wait, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute.
I think this INTJ is probably an NP type. Or maybe this ENFJ is an NP type. What if the ENFJ is actually like an INFP. And it’s an INFP plus INTJ.
That would make way more sense, because that’s a benefactor relationship. And having been in a benefactor relationship, and also knowing somebody who has also been in a benefactor relationship, as well as various other people in my life who have benefactor relationships, I can say, through all these people’s collective experience and my personal experience alone. It’s a good thing. I enjoyed my benefactor relationship until she went crazy.
But I don’t think that had anything to do with me. I think that had everything to do with her, not me. So as a result of that situation, like, that’s probably what’s going on. I think this is just a miss type benefactor relationship, and if it is a benefactor relationship, okay, we’ll say ENFJ.
The INTJ could be an intp as well. Okay. benefactor relationship. Somebody here is Ms.
Type, I think whoever is asking this question amongst the acolyte members is is mistyped here. Speaking of which, if you want to have a video with your question, and the answer in a video made of it in a podcast episode made it for all of us to learn become an accurate member, all you have to do is go to CS joseph.ly. Forward slash members become a journeyman member in the next page upgrade to activate or if you already are a journeyman, go to css.ly forward slash portal, and then go to the acolyte page from there and upgrade your account to acolyte mode there and get access to the acolyte area where you can ask yours truly a question every single month, and it’d be turned into a video and a podcast episodes that we all can learn. Anyway, benefactor relationship, which is what this relationship likely actually is, okay, the INFJ would have an amazing sexual relationship with by the way, that was a that was a pedagogue, excuse me, an amazing sexual relationship with an ESTP.
If the INTJ is actually any INTP, you see what I’m saying? It’d be great. I actually had one of those at one point in time. And I really enjoyed it. I enjoyed the ENFJ in my life very much.
So it was, it was great. For the most part, we had some little emotional issues here. But in the bedroom, it was absolutely fantastic. And we just worked hard, you know, grown run on the benefactor to each other and helping each other move along in life.
It was excellent, definitely recommended thing. Or conversely, what if it’s an INTJ with an INFP actually know, an INTJ and an INFP. Couple, and for some reason, it just works for them. They just they they build status for each other.
They make each other feel good as a result of the respectability that they gather up for each other. And they share that with each other. And it’s awesome, on top of the fact that they’re sexually compatible, and then they enjoy each other in the bedroom on a regular basis. What’s not to love, you see, and then all these benefactor relationships, guess what benefactor relationships, also a very good for raising children in.
I just don’t I just don’t see why people don’t do benefactor relationships more often. And I would really hope that the acolyte who asked this particular question would at least consider that, you know, just maybe that somebody within the context of their question is actually mistyped, because I’m here to tell you folks, I’ve never actually seen an INTJ and an E NFJ marriage ever. And the only context with which I could ever imagine that it’s actually possible is literally and figuratively and ecumenically and economic, it’s only really possible in an extreme radical religious context, okay? Like, or some kind of arranged marriage bs of some kind, right? Not that I’m against arranged marriage, I’m actually extremely pro arranged marriage, very, very pro arranged marriage. But, but the differences is that there’s something really, really bad going on.
If this is an actual marriage, there is some foul play. All right. So based on that, folks, I would avoid the situation whenever possible. Make sure you guys psychoanalyze each other accurately, and understand each other’s type so that you can actually are at least guaranteed to have an excellent relationship.
So anyway, folks, thanks for watching and I’ll see you guys on the next episode.
