Marriage Misconceptions of Lust Types | CS Joseph Responds
CS Joseph answers the Acolyte Question about misconceptions of Lust Types (ESTPs & INFJs) and marriage.
Transcript:
Welcome to the CS Joseph podcast. I’m your host, CS Joseph. Today’s question, which is a rough question, but I’m so glad it’s asked. I’ve been waiting to answer this question for a while.
So it’s basically goes like this. How can I NF J’s? How can how can how can someone be married to an INFJ? or less type? Like so INFJ? Or ESTP? How could someone be married to an INFJ? Or an ESTP? And have them still be loyal in the relationship? Have them still stick around the relationship, even though they fall in love very easily with other people? Because there are these loss types? Well, that’s false. That is, the question in its own right is actually false. Because the thing is, is that ESTP is an INFJ is while they are less types, and lust basically is is another word for, for jealousy.
I know like, we’re using a lot of sexually charged terms when it comes to, you know, the four temples and the soul temple and the specific soul temple Templar, which is INFJ and ESTP. Types, basically, these types. Yeah, they’re very lustful. Yeah, they have the highest body counts, you know, and have the sex with the most with the most people, because they’re just starving for connection starving for intimacy with fellow human beings.
Yes, that’s definitely a part of their life. That’s just kind of how they roll. And they typically do have the highest body counts out of everyone, or even in certain cases, very rarely, the lowest body count because of their living virtue of chastity. But let’s look at the definitions of loss versus chastity without the sexual charge to them.
So lust also translates directly to jealousy, which is wanting what other people have, that’s not the same as envy, envy is just getting mad at other people for being for having more than you, when you’ve put in the same or more effort than they have. That’s what envy is. It’s actually about measuring effort, really, and measuring reward based on effort. Whereas lust is all about just wanting what other people have.
Chastity is the opposite of that chastity is all about doing the best with what you have. Because it’s what you have. It’s about optimizing, getting more out of what you already have, basically, and protecting what you already have. That’s what chastity is, it means to be chaste.
It also means to not pollute yourself, right? So in the context of the question, the specific acolyte is asked this question, it’s basically trying to figure out, it’s like, what guarantee is there if I marry an ESTP, or an INFJ, that they’re not just gonna go, you know, fall in love with somebody else super quick, and then end up betraying me or ruining our family or ruining our relationship? Like, what like, what, what are the chances that’s going to happen? And the thing is, is that like, Well, I understand your fear there. But that’s not how ESTPs and INFJs actually work. That’s not that’s, that has nothing to do with it. It really doesn’t.
So you folks need to be aware of something about them. Because it’s a misnomer, or a misconception of ESTPs and INFJs. These are not the people who fall in love easily. They really don’t, they get infatuated easily, but they don’t fall in love easy, actually, the reality is, is that ESTP is and INFJs it is the most difficult for them out of the 16 types to fall in love with somebody that is actually why they have such high body counts, typically.
It’s because it’s difficult for them, it’s really difficult for them. And oftentimes, you know, people just don’t even realize how or why this is even happening. And it’s because they’re they have a really hard time connecting with other people. Don’t forget like, you know, their their god functions are extrovert intuition, which means deep down regardless of their type, they definitely wants to be wanted.
And they also and their other funk God function is Introverted Feeling so Introverted Feeling means is that they care about having high self worth, they care about being people of high value and high character, right. But the thing is, is that they still have that need that intrinsic need for intimacy and connection with other people. The thing is, is that it has to be prolonged connection, prolonged intimacy. The problem is, is that, you know, oftentimes, they don’t know if they’re making the right choice in terms of who they’re supposed to be connected with.
And that’s why they do loyalty checks and push people away to see if they’ll come back, which can be an abusive behavior. That’s why other times they put other people that are outside of it. For families outside their relationships at a higher level than the people that are, because they’re focusing on quantity over quality, why? Because these two types are looking for a high level of attention, they want to harvest attention. And the thing is, is that for them to feel truly connected and intimate with someone, they basically have to have that person as a consistent source of attention.
And as really nothing to do with sexuality, it’s a consistent source of attention that they just need all the time. I remember when Railgun and I first got together and she’s like, she asked me like, Will you always be my playmate because she just wanted to be connected with me, she wanted to do everything with me, it’s all about doing things with me, and being invited to do things with me, that’s what it was all about her that was that was that was the most important thing. So hard for an NI inferior, to make the choice to choose one person to, you know, be connected with on a prolonged, prolonged basis. And that person would be their playmate, and it’s the same goes with INFJs, they also have a very hard time making that choice, because commitment is an SI demon, basically, from their perspective, you know, versus versus the choice is a little bit more difficult the ESTP, because it’s ni inferior, right.
So because of that, they’re afraid. And so because of that fear, and they act in fear, they end up trying to connect with as many people as possible to have as many sources of attention as possible to fill that that attention hole that’s within their souls basically. But that way, they don’t have to really rely on that one person that they’re burning out potentially, for that one person’s attention, which would likely be their lover, basically, it’s kind of like having a wardrobe of clothes, and there’s some really, really special clothes that you have. But you choose not to wear those clothes all the time, because you don’t want to wear them out.
Things wearing out, really stress out ESTPs and INFJs. But they also know deep down that they have a tendency to wear out people. And they’re afraid of that. So they try to play it safe.
By increasing the amount of people that they can be connected with, including, you know, with their sexuality, to have multiple sources of attention. So there’s no risk of wearing those people out basically. And then also at the same time. If they do find someone that they want to have to commit to in a sexual relationship, well guess what? That, you know, that person typically has to be an extremely high introverted sensor because they’re like, Oh, I’m not, I’m not gonna wear this person out, and they’ll still be able to give me attention.
And that’s why, you know, it’s, it’s so easy for s j’s to get with ESTPs and INFJs. Because they just stick around, they’re just the last man standing after they’ve worn out everyone else. Those people stay right there, you know what I’m saying? So, so with that being said, you know, there’s a lot less, there’s a lot less risk with it, you know, and oftentimes, people don’t even realize, you know, like the consequences of this thing. So a healthier ESTP an INFJ has identified the people that don’t really wear out so easily and then they prioritize those people to stick around with because at the end of the day, let’s types aren’t really seeking a huge volume of people to be with sexually or even to get their attention.
It’s just a defense mechanism. If they had their way they’d be super idealistic because of their idealization pole for their temple wheel as a result of being sold temple templates if you want to learn more about temples, please watch season eight teen Thank you. So yeah. So so they idealize others, so if it were up to them, they’d be like, all in on monogamy.
Really. It’s just that from their perspective, you know, acting like you know, us serial monogamous or being poly or having tons of sexual partners, it’s really just a defense mechanism, because they’re just afraid they’re afraid of committing to the wrong person, they’re just afraid of being connected to the wrong person, to a person who would wear out easily a person that they would wear out, and that’s what they’re really afraid of. But if it was up to them, they just have the one basically someone that they’re not going to wear out, and that’s what means everything to them, you know, so So in reality, like, you don’t have to be worried about having a sexual relationship with them. As long as you’re not being worn out by them, and they don’t think they never think that you’re being worn out by them.
Then you don’t have anything to concern yourself with. You’re safe to be in a relationship with them, and they will stick with you. Because then they’ll start using their chastity living virtue instead of their vice of lust, they use their advice of lust, to get that quantity of attention, because it’s a defense mechanism. But then if you’re not being worn out by them, they don’t have to use lust anymore, which means they can just invest everything into you.
And then they’ll use their chastity and do the best with what they have what they have being, you basically, doing the best of what you have, right? That’s like, that’s critical. Losing my cigar here ere we go, it’s back. So yeah, that’s, that’s majorly important, trying to think of the other point I was trying to make or if I was going to. So again, you know, it’s incumbent upon you as their partner to just make sure that you’re not being worn out by them, and continue to share experiences them, include them into things and show them that you’re not getting bored of them.
That is what is absolutely critical. You just have to prove to them that you’re not bored of them. If only I could prove that to Railgun, because she’s constantly using her defense mechanism of her deadly sin of lust, and trying to get so many different sources of attention. Because she’s constantly thinking that she’s wearing me out.
And it’s like, no, you’re not wearing me out. The issue is, is that you’re not investing enough. That’s not It’s not has nothing to do with being worn out. Right.
But she doesn’t see it that way. Because you know, I’m an intp, we have a little bit of emotional compatibility. And it’s really hard for me to communicate things with her on an emotional level. And as much as it’s hard for her to communicate with things on an emotional level, not necessarily because of our emotional compatibility, which definitely that that is an issue.
But also based on you know, her nurture, she’s up to us, and she has those struggles, right. And that’s what ends up being the problem over time. So yeah, I just kind of, that’s what happens over and over. Very nice.
So yeah, I think I think that just about hammers the question. So yeah, just don’t be worn out, really, and just keep including them. And yeah, they, they don’t use their lust, they’re not going to fall in love with someone else. And remember, folks, the truth is, they don’t fall in love with people.
There’s my final point, I know what it is. So they don’t fall in love so easily. It’s so hard for them as I’ve just demonstrated. The thing is, is that when they don’t fall in love with somebody, and they have these high body counts, they’re able to do that because soul temple people have this thing where they can actually cycle logically separate themselves, when they’re being physically intimate with somebody, they can just kind of go in their own little world, they can just imagine different scenarios kind of like when someone like when a woman is being raped, she just kind of checks out basically, they can actually mentally check out and they can actually treat sex is just sex.
Or as I’m heart temple, I can’t treat I cannot treat sex is just sex, I have sex, it’s a big deal. It’s an events like I’m all in or all out, you know, that kind of thing. But for them, they can be half they have one foot in and one foot out, basically. And they can be mentally checked out from the person that they’re having sex with.
Because from their perspective, it’s just a very shallow connection, a very lust based shallow, quantity based connection instead of something that’s all about chastity, which is deep and meaningful, and doing the best with what they have. Right? And again, as a result, that’s why they you know, they are able to so they’re not falling in love over and over and over so quickly with the people you know, the people that fall in love really quick. I mean, that’s, that’s like FY hero. That’s FY hero.
Those are the people that fall in love with those are the love at first sight people not not INFJs or ESTPs. So that too should hopefully bring this acolyte users question, you know, bring them some peace, you know? So, speaking of which, if you guys want Chris and I to make video responses to your questions, become an active member CS joseph.ly forward slash members, and then become a journeyman member then upgrade your account to Acolyte. You can also upgrade at CS joseph.ly forward slash portal, which is where our members portal is. So yeah, anyway, thanks for watching, and I’ll see you guys in the next episode.
