How can a depressed ISTP be more social? | CS Joseph Responds
CS Joseph Responds to the Acolyte question how can a depressed ISTP be more social. Presented by Chris Taylor, aka Raka.
Transcript:
Welcome to the CFCs a podcast. I’m your host, Chris Taylor, also known as Raka, bringing you another acolyte question today. Today’s question is how can a depressed ISTP be more social? Now this question hits really close to home for me. I’m in a relationship with an ISTP.
As many of you know, some of you. And so this one is really personal. And hopefully, I can provide you guys some insight that will help. Now, why would an ISTP be depressed? Oftentimes, usually ISTPs you guys get depressed when you don’t have a Wolfpack like most beta Quadra.
In your case, it’s, you don’t feel like people respect you. You don’t feel like people want to come to you for your expertise on something. Given that you guys are mind temple, in this case, validation. It is really important for you guys to have people around you that respect your work, respect, your discipline and respect.
You know, the your mind ultimately. So we’re gonna go through your guys’s Dr. Graham a bit and look at some of the things that can cause you guys to get depressed and some of the things you might be doing that may be leading to these issues. So first of all validation.
What is this mean, from a mind temple standpoint? For ISTPs? ENFJs validation for you guys is about information. And yeah, sometimes it’s about people’s feelings. But often, it’s about validating whether or not something is true, correct, whether something is ethical, or good for others. And too often, I see you guys using that validation, too, enable other people to not improve.
Just like on NF J’s, you guys have a similar problem with if everybody else around me is shit than I don’t have to be better. The the saddest part about that, is that, in my experience, you guys are some of the hardest workers out there. You guys are some of the some of the hardest workers out there. That shadow diligence from the ISTJ side is amazing to see.
But you guys also can get really lazy and not follow through and commit to things. And so it’s really, really sad when you guys spend that validation, giving yourselves reasons to not improve to not outwork everybody else, because let’s be honest, you guys can outwork almost anyone. I mean, si inferior really can like outwork most people, but we get really, really burnt out doing it. And it’s really in bursts.
But you guys have some very, very consistent hard work realistically only matched by a very hardworking si child. But si child can get really put off to when something goes wrong, because their si can be really fragile at times because it is a child function. But you guys with your SI critic can really get the mindset of well, it’s shit anyway, so I’m just going to put in the work because if it’s going to be shit, then I might as well work hard in the shit. That’s amazing to see.
Like, it can be really really really difficult to shake an ISTP once they have their mind actually set on something that can be good and bad. But I beat the horse validation here a bit. Now let’s look at your guys’s your guys’s aspiration focus pull, which is humility. You guys have some absolutely iconic self deprecating humor and just some of the funniest way You guys can be really, really, really humble people.
And so this is counterbalanced by the shadow focus pull, which is pride. And it’s really interesting that there are two dynamics going on here for you guys. There’s the self component. And then there’s the work component.
And oftentimes, where you guys get into trouble is when you’re humble in your work. And you’re not humble as a person, humble in your work, prideful as a person. And this is very problematic. Because again, as I said before, you guys have a lot to be proud of when it comes to you guys actually exerting discipline and trying to master whatever you’re working on.
There should be enough humility in your work to know that it can always improve. But don’t bring your self deprecation into the work that you do, do not depreciate, do not invalidate your work as excellent quality if it is. And on the other side of the coin, you have pride. And too often you guys have pride in yourself as a person, and not enough pride in your work.
You see how these can kind of feed into each other. And how not only can you have a focus somewhere, but that focus and how you’re using that focus can be incorrect, invalid. So that’s your sub focus and your shadow focus. Now, oftentimes, if you’re depressed, it’s because you don’t have a wolf pack of some kind, you don’t have people that are coming to you, as I said before.
And so being prideful in yourself can really put people off. And if you are shadow focused, I mean, how often do you get annoyed by other people being overly prideful people? as a whole? I know it annoys you. So why do you get a pass in that hold yourself to the same standard you’re holding other people for the better, not so that you don’t have to improve? Now, on the side polls, your development polls, the shadow develop poll is a combination. And the Sub Focus poll is obstinance.
Now let’s talk about accommodation here for a second. Because you guys are so good at manipulation of the environment. And you guys really can be good at social manipulation better than you think. Especially if you’re shadow developed, you’re bringing in that way fair, or excuse me, that philosopher side and the philosopher dynamics.
And you can and this, this term really applies to you, you guys can make work, almost any situation. And so what often happens is you accommodate other people, being shitty, being undisciplined, being uneducated. Because, again, this isn’t about character. This is about legacy now, because we’re talking about the shadow.
And you guys are going from mind temple to body temple here. So when it comes to accommodating people, oftentimes you guys are trying to accommodate some kind of legacy. This is where you get yourselves into a lot of trouble. This is where you end up with ISTPs being the third, third man or woman in a relationship.
You’re not holding them to loyalty. And unfortunately, too often, you guys end up surprised when you end up inadvertently stealing someone from a couple, and then that person doesn’t remain loyal to you. Well, if they’re going to do it with you, there’s a good chance they’ll do it to you. So stop accommodating or enabling bad behavior.
Behavior that leads other people to poor life choices. Now, this is hard because you guys have any trickster and you don’t always see the consequences. Hence why oftentimes, you guys are super surprised when the person that you stole from somebody else is suddenly cheating on you. Go figure.
I sympathize that it’s hard for you guys to see the consequences. But you guys don’t get a pass for not being able to see lack of discipline in other people, lack of integrity, lack of loyalty accommodate other people to grow, enable people to grow by providing them resources to be able to grow. If they don’t take those resources, that’s on them. That’s not on you.
But that’s a great way for you guys to parse out who’s worth having around. You need to have people around you that are disciplined, that are hardworking. And oftentimes, you’ll be the most hardworking of all of them. And you’ll respect people that are able to compete with you in that love in that domain.
But stop accommodating self interest for your own legacy. accommodate growth, not self interest. If you’re accommodating somebody else, it should be for their benefit, not yours. That’s what maturity with your accommodation will actually look like that will actually breed loyalty and other people and you’ll have a social circle, you’ll have a wolf pack.
Oftentimes, you guys are very involved in whatever work that you’re doing. And having pride in your work will necessitate that. So a lot of times your social circle will stem from your career from your field or from your hobby. I mean, even if you’re not it, let’s say you’re a stay at home, mom.
Okay? ISTP. Okay, you’re not career focused. You still have things that you like to do. There are still hobbies, there are still crafts that you can do.
There are still things you there’s still education that you can get into. You can find, you can still find other like minded people, or people that are in those social circles to try to grow with. So that’s for that. Now obstinance you guys are some of the most stubborn people I have ever met in my entire life.
And again, I I’m in love with an ISTP I don’t mind it. But it is still true that you guys are ridiculously stubborn. The problem comes when you’re stubborn to growing, when you’re stubborn to not trying to when you’re stubborn to giving up when you’re stubborn to change, for the better. Your guyses obstinance exists as a way to stop power hungry philosophers.
From fucking everyone over. It is not there for you guys to stubbornly cross your arms and stay the same person the obstinate to unfairness be obstinate to undisciplined. be obstinate to laziness, not to change now the reason why these are all important from a social standpoint is because whether you’re focused on character or not people judge heavily not just sold temple, we’re just the ones that bitch about it. Nobody likes most people don’t like somebody with an absolutely shit rotten character.
Salt Temple is just the one that complains about it. But if you do these things, you’re going to inadvertently have good character and have pride in what you’re doing in your work and have humility in yourself, which is naturally going to draw people to you It will help ease your social anxiety because people will be coming to you to for things that you’re actually knowledgeable about. to things that you can help with. You will be able to make people feel good because they’ll be able to improve.
Anyway. If you don’t know your Octa gram make sure you have that journeyman membership. Get educated on the content. Same thing I’m telling you I’m gonna fees because mine temple you guys should be all over this shit.
There’s power in it, there’s influence in it. Make sure you get brushed up on this if you need further guidance, we do offer coaching. Were there feel free to leave comments in the in the description of this video. I’ll try to help you guys out.
That’s okay. If you like this video was helpful, useful insightful. Leave a like, subscribe. Go get that membership.
Educate yourself so you can help people better because imagine how much better you can actually help people if you understand their type. You guys can be really good at typing. You just got to spend the time and you know spend the effort to learn it. Anyway, have a good one.
I’ll catch you guys on the next episode.
