INFP & ISFP Boundaries…What’re those? | CS Joseph Responds
INFP & ISFP Boundaries…What’re those? CS Joseph Responds to the Acoltye question regarding IXFPs and boundary setting and enforcement struggles.
Transcript:
Hey what’s up ego, hackers. Welcome to the CS Joseph podcast. I’m your host CS Joseph. Rumor has it we’re going to see hopefully some Chris Taylor this week, and which is awesome.
We’ll have him on the show, very excited to have him here and have him with us to be able to share his extremely valuable opinion with us in the science it’s big deal. Very big deal. And especially since, you know, I enjoy like his extroverted thinking child actually helps me coming to a better understanding of the science as well, because of his thematic approach. Logic is great, but what I’ve come to realize is that when it comes to the science, if the themes don’t match the logic, then it’s incomplete.
And it’s possible that, you know, my foundation of logic could be utilized or understood on a false premise, and then it just will take it in a completely wrong direction. And it’s ultimately because of Christmas work that we had to redo some of the mistakes that I presented in the temples. And then that was fixed at the I had the opportunity to represent the the temples and season 18 cognitive mechanics. And that helps build a even better foundation for our fundamental understanding that continues to grow of the octave Graham, basically.
So I’d like to give special thanks to Chris to that end, for being there with us to facilitate that. So yeah, but today’s today’s question, today’s acolyte question is about a kindred relationship. It’s about ISFPs, and INFPs. And how these two types have a hard time setting boundaries, probably because I’ve said that in the past, they absolutely do have a hard time setting boundaries.
And basically, it really comes down to one thing and one thing only, and that is their parent function, you have extroverted sensing parents from the perspective of the ISFP, you have expert intuition parent from the perspective of the INFP. And that ends up causing a lot of difficulties, because what happens is, is that these two functions start out super underdeveloped. I mean, development of the parent function, like it like it was, it wakes up, it’s all of a sudden, boom, it’s in their head, it starts being there in adolescence. And it’s not really utilized that much, you know, as a child, you know, according to Chris Taylor, for example, you know, the Trickster function is ultimately what the ego decides to lead with until the parent function actually becomes fully developed, and a person’s sense of personal responsibility ends up kicking in.
So it’s because of X rated sensing parent and expert intuition parent being underdeveloped, that ultimately, these two types really struggle. And I mean, really struggle. These two types really struggle with setting boundaries. But there’s also another, there’s also another aspect to it.
It’s not just se parent, it’s not just any parent, but also they have the same Inferior function, which is extroverted thinking inferior, which is fear, or anxiety or insecurity, about their status, their reputation, how they look to other people, how they’re regarded, how they’re respected by others, how much power and authority they actually have, and whether or not other people think highly of them. These people are hypersensitive, and hyper aware of what other people think about them. And the thing is, too, is that like, you’re an ISFP, for example, doesn’t like being rejected, expert sensing parent, the INFP doesn’t like to be unwanted, and not desired by others expert intuition parent. And when it’s really underdeveloped.
They can be hypersensitive to that because to a young ISFP the idea of being rejected by anybody is extremely controversial to them. And it means like, oh, this person rejected me. So I guess so they end up taking it really personally. They take it as if Well, I don’t have enough status.
I don’t have enough importance as a human being as a person. I don’t I’m not respectable enough. I don’t have enough status enough. And then they because they they see that they assume that they’re like, well, then I’m not good enough.
I’m not worthy enough, right. That’s how they end up rationalizing it within their FYI hero. And same thing goes to the INFP. It’s like hey, you know if I’m not desirable enough, you know, these people are going to think less of me.
And then then I’m going to feel bad about myself. I’m going to feel like I don’t even matter Are you ready, I’m saying, and that ends up becoming like a big problem. A really big problem. Most people I spoke with, most people don’t even understand.
They don’t understand just how the FYI hero has it basically. Because they’re constantly judging themselves as to whether or not they’re worthy. They’re constantly aware of what makes them worthy, what makes them valuable, what makes them feel good as people, right? Constantly, constantly, they’re aware of that. And that ends up getting in the way of proper decision making, because they want to be this principle person, they want to look good in front of others.
They don’t want to be fake, they don’t want to, but then they end up being fake. Because they’re trying they have to they end up there FYI, Hiro is bending to the thoughts of other people through cognitive access through extroverted extroverted thinking inferior, because it’s an inferior function. So they have to end up having expert intuition parent start developing as a guidance function to guide the Inferior function so that when they transition into their their subconscious, so that their Inferior function becomes an aspirational function. And extra thinking, aspirational is like the hero function of the, of the, of the subconscious, basically, you know, most people see me, you know, whiteboard it out.
And they see that I put inferior and aspirational next to each other, but the aspirational relay actually belongs to the extroverted thinking hero of the ISFP and INFP subconscious, which is the ENTJ and the ESTJ respectively. So that sucks, it really sucks. Because in order for those functions to become aspirational, to basically become heroic to a point there, they have to be able to transition into their subconscious in an orderly manner. If they’re doing it in a chaotic manner, it’s just gonna blow up in their face, they’re gonna lose even more status even more respect, and people are gonna think less of them even more.
Not just ends up, blowing up, consistently blowing up in their face. Sucks to be them basically, at that point. So this ends up the sense of literally, when that happens, especially when you have a chaotic transition, and your ESTJ side or INTJ side, it literally makes your FY hero start to behave like an extroverted feeling inferior, and then they start getting afraid that they’re not worth it, they’re not valuable enough, they’re not worthy enough, they’re not worthy enough for this job, or for this relationship, etc. It’s just this this whole thing, this whole thing that consistently becomes a problem.
And oftentimes, they just don’t know what to even do about it. But it really comes down to personal responsibility. Their apparent function has to guide their Inferior function in such a way via cognitive circuits, for example, in order to get them into their subconscious in a very healthy way, so that their Introverted feeling is not assuming that it’s not worthy enough, not valuable enough. So they aren’t selling themselves short, basically.
And because that phenomenon, what ends up happening, they end up not able to set up proper boundaries with other people. Because they’re so afraid of feeling bad about themselves, they’re so afraid of feeling unworthy, they’re so afraid of having feelings of powerlessness are, they’re so afraid of feeling like they don’t have a purpose, that they’ll go along with what other people think of them, just by default, they’ll completely go along with it. And what this means is that other people could even potentially blackmail these people into behaving in certain ways. And that would suck, it would really suck.
And they have a hard time, you know, playing the truth card to get out of the blackmail, which can also be a bad thing, especially inf peas because, you know, their Introverted Sensing child can find justification for just about anything and they like to absolve themselves and give themselves excuses about why they should act or shouldn’t act, or how certain things don’t apply to them basically, when they do. But anyway, because they’re constantly you know, allowing the judgments of other people of external other people in their life to be the deciding factor for who they are as a person and use that as their measure of value their self worth measure of self worth. It ends up becoming a serious problem serious problem to the point where this is why they don’t have boundaries. Like, you know, I feel so bad for extroverted judging Inferior functions, and that can even be a bigger problem.
A very, very, very A big, big problem. Because especially especially especially among women who have these Inferior functions, because, you know, it leaves the extroverted thinking inferior, open to being gaslit, right? Especially ISFPs. Because their Introverted Sensing is so low, they have a lack of self discipline. And because they have their memory, they live in the moment and a lot of their short term memory, especially their parent function is underdeveloped, it gets even worse for them, because they can’t really remember so well as to what things have happened in the past.
So when someone’s gaslighting them, they end up being forced through Extraverted Feeling nemesis, to actually reach acceptance that the person gaslighting, and what the person is saying who is gaslighting them is actually saying, you know something that’s true about them. Luckily, INFJs don’t have that problem as much. But ISFPs are especially weak to it. So this ends up doing so what they end up doing, because they’re, you know, the expert sensing parent is underdeveloped, for example, it’s not able to get in people’s face and be like, No, you’re not going to do this.
Because, you know, extroverted sensing is a function, it’s like an enforcement function, they can set a boundary, you know, with their FBI hero, but they use an extroverted sensing parent to enforce it. Now, it ends up becoming easier, though, for ISFPs, over time, as their se parent actually develops to be able to enforce set boundaries. But they struggle with establishing them when it comes to the INFP. However, it’s kind of the exact opposite.
You know, they can, they can establish boundaries very easily, but because their expert sensing is a trickster, they end up really sucking at enforcing them. That’s ultimately where they have to really go to the parent function. Because then at that point, you know, the expert sensing parent is like, Okay, should I really be valuing the attention from this particular person? Or from these people? Or from the INFP perspective? Should I really be valuing the desires or wants or goals of these people around me? What if and what about those desires or goals actually affect me? Or impact me? What does that have to do with me, basically, so they end up having to utilize their parent functions develop that sense of parent function, responsibility, right? Where they’re being really responsible with their parent function, such that they are able to filter out bad attention and filter out bad desire from people in their life, that way their parent function is protecting their Inferior function from the negative thoughts or even the positive thoughts of other people, right. Because the negative thoughts and the positive thoughts of others, they really have to rely on that parent function to just filter out.
Because here’s the thing if the parent function is not filtering bad attention, if it’s not filtering, even positive attention that they shouldn’t have. Same thing with expert intuition filtering out bad intentions, or even positive attentions, which which could lead to worse consequences later, then the extroverted thinking inferior is completely exposed, right? It’s completely exposed, and then all of a sudden, they can’t even set boundaries, much less even have the opportunity to enforce them at all. Because they’re just gonna go along with the crowd, they’re just gonna go along with what everybody else thinks. And that really puts these two types at risk, at risk personally at risk of being taken advantage at risk of being gaslit at risk of being used, right? Especially if I hear a women who consistently because they have an extroverted judging Inferior function they are, they can be consistently used, especially sexually, right.
And then if that ends up growing over time, it becomes part of their Introverted Sensing child where that’s just what they’re used to is like, Oh, this is my lot in life, I guess I have to just accept that this is you know, I’m just going to be used sexually by men, for example, or from an introverted intuition child, they end up actually seeking to be used by men because from their perspective, they end up start tacking on their self worth via cognitive looping, that Introverted Intuition. Child’s combined with Introverted Feeling hero, basically, that, you know, my self worth is based on you know, you know, having these these sexual relationships with men, these worthless, meaningless sexual relationships with men. And that’s where I find meeting right? With the INFP. It’s like, this is just my long life I’ve just accepted this is just what I’m used to, it’ll never change, and they throw their hands up and give up.
It’s really sad to see. And it really just comes down to a lack of parent function development. If their parent functions were far more developed, and they were able to exhibit aspects of personal responsibility. They would be able to filter out that attention, that attention that they shouldn’t be getting for the ISFP or filter out that desire, that unwanted desire and just get rid of it so that their parent function is literally there for the inferior function because otherwise, you know, the parent function is not there for the inferior well guess what, the demon eventually is going to get in the way with the Inferior function.
And that too will become a problem because don’t forget the Inferior function is on a cognitive orbit with the demon function. If you want to learn more about cognitive orbit, you’re going to want to watch the season 18 lectures, cognitive mechanics, some of those videos are being released now to the public, we do one per month, and that’s released here on the YouTube channel as an additional newer lecture and cognitive mechanics is created every month for for the journeyman members who wanna become a journeyman ever see a show. So that ly for slash members who want to log in CS joseph.ly, forward slash portal. So make sure you guys are checking that out, get that information in Cago mechanics, it’s one of the most important seasons because Coggan mechanics has a season outlines literally every aspect of psychology that we end up having, you know, within the science and all of the details, from a broad perspective are actually shared within that season.
And sometimes we go deep as well. So, bottom line is, the bottom line is, is that these two types in order to have healthy boundaries to set and enforce healthy boundaries, you know, the INFP struggles with enforcing their easier setting, but they struggle with enforcing, whereas the ISFP has an easier time enforcing than they do setting up set boundaries. They really really have to work at it, they have to develop a personal responsibility for their parent functions in order to filter out these actions or these desires these wants or these actions of other people in their life so that they themselves are not in this negative position. Especially if they’re women, because they can be used so easily.
They’re so susceptible, you know, the X rated thinking inferior is so susceptible as a result. So anyway, folks, thanks for watching, and I’ll see you guys in the next episode.
