Ooh, Shiny! Maintaining Templar Relationships (ESTP, INFJ, ENFJ, ISTP ) | CS Joseph Responds

Ooh, Shiny! Maintaining Templar Relationships. CS Joseph Responds to the Acolyte question How Can I get Templars to Stop Treating New People Better Than Family. Presented by Samuel Nicodemus, aka Iamanintellectual.

Transcript:

You know? Hey, welcome to CS Joseph as a podcast, I’m your host, Sam wise, you guys to keep calling me, Sam. And I’m here to present today’s acolyte question how to stop Templars from churning newer people better than their family? And I’m going to project a little bit and say that I don’t think the premise is about treating newer people better than family. I think it’s just how do you make them? Say treat family better? Be this like, wow, this guy is new. And you’re treating them better than me? I thought you would value my loyalty.

But yeah, I guess that’s what we’re addressing is to the family part more than the newer people part. But why is it that newer people tend to get treated better? Well. But that being said, I love this topic, because most of my family is Templars like, my dad’s an intp. My mom’s an ENFJ, my brother’s an ESTP.

And my grandmother, not ISTP. And man, she is the most accommodating person you can ever encounter, like, holy crap, and it’s just as a, it makes so much sense. It really does. It’s the Ooh, shiny syndrome.

You know, it’s like, you’re fascinated with this new shiny thing, the distance you see the glint, and you’re like, Let’s go for it. You know, part of that is searching for new loyalty and new experiences. And you know, that new person over there? Yeah, that’s nice and shiny. You know, I wonder what they’re up to when what, you know, are they loyal to me? What can we do together? That’s part of that, ooh, shiny effect, as well as, you know, new acceptance, that extrovert feeling of like, you know, how’s that guy feeling? You know, and also, I think that comes from extrovert feeling, not wanting to really leave people out.

So you know, they were like, oh, yeah, come in, come in. Yeah, I’ve done that before. But, you know, I felt like I think a couple times, I’ve seen that lonely loser kid at lunch. And I was just like, hey, howdy.

Back when I was a nice person first, you know, extra feeling kind of trying to do that? Oh, yeah. You know, I want you to tell me good and bad. And I want that appreciation for things. And I’ve kind of that appeal to the newer people.

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Get it now. But we’re going to divide this up into the temples. We got the soul temple ESTP that INFJ IDs and the mind temple iscp is an ENFJ is now the ESTP than the INFJ they’re part of the last dyad they are concerned about intimacy and connectedness like my brother, he has his wolf pack. You know, they’re the wolf pack people they have that a group of guys and gals for gals or maybe both.

But the group Yeah, they have the the wolf pack, and they do things together all the time. Like my brother. He’s in a band than a punk band called superbike. And he is the bassist and the screaming guy, one of them but he had like this like, he literally brings groups to these concerts all the time and he played a show at what was the start up wrestling.

And I’m gonna leave a little video right here. This is the group that he brought there was like eight dudes and they were like the people that really hated the show, you know bantering with the the heel or the bad guy and wrestling, and like, you know, cheering on the good guys and it was just like It was so much fun and I got to take an exam number nine, like I was a camera guy was an obvious. But, you know, it’s just amazing. And you know, he wants to have like his connectedness was me, like we went to the arcade today.

And we, we were enjoying this game called Time Crisis and the other like arcade shooting games. And I don’t know why I haven’t been playing as many games just because Time Crisis is so good that it’s just like, Everything pales in comparison. But, you know, that stuff we do that I he even wants me to join his band. He was like, Dude, he can use that artistic intelligence, you know, because I’m INTP.

I actually am diagnosed with Asperger’s. But you know, it’s probably more likely that I’m an intp than anything else. But that autistic intelligence that I have regardless, like, dude, like, you can piece together music, I, you know, you just take that brain of yours and do that, and stuff like that. And, you know, I never did that.

But, you know, that kind of stuff. And, you know, he’s also like, you know, we want to build a family house, I think that’s like our dream. He didn’t, he wanted to, at first, because his reasoning was, he wanted my parents to retire. So you know, there, if I was gonna have to live in someone’s basement, that I would just live in his, and, you know, that was kind of the thoughts and opinions about how I was going in life.

At the time, during high school, were, you know, super antisocial, and all that other stuff. You know, I’ve matured up a bit, but I’m also kind of, like, you know, I like the idea of the family house, because, you know, I don’t like, you know, losing that connection. And I’m very worried in a lot of ways, but like, the economy, quite frankly, you know, it’s nice to have everything grouped together. It’s like, you know, imagine if we just didn’t pay rent, like, we played the land tax, you know, we all kind of shared like, major essential tools, and that kind of thing.

So that’s, you know, that connectedness is really awesome. And I’m I room, I’m really glad I had that with my brother, and, you know, the mind temple ISTP, that ENFJ they’re looking for validation. They’re not as much of a positive example as with my brother, but like, you know, it’s weird hearing, you know, what growing up my parents arguing, and, you know, they’re both kind of like, well, you’re not listening to me, and you know, that kind of stuff. And, you know, kind of being like, you don’t appreciate the things that I do, and it just kind of makes sense, where it’s like, oh, they’re kind of looking for each other to validate each other.

But you know, they’re not really let down their side either way. So it kind of makes sense. I mean, my dad was a bit more on the aggressive and my mom would just kind of hide determiner INFP shadow, and just kind of, you know, generally kind of be dismissive of a lot of things and I Yeah. Viewer conflict pair please do not go further.

It doesn’t work out well. They got divorced after we graduated high school. But both groups had temblor they’re looking for getting as much out of life as they can, living to the fullest potential. But this old temple in the Mayan temple, need to be in relationships with each other, I’d venture to say all of them do but like these ones, it’s like more more essential, especially the soul temple.

That the the relationships that they have are built on conflict, which makes a lot of sense like my brother and his best friend that finger and guitar player in the band. They just casually get in fistfights for fun because they both are like yeah, boxing is cool. You know, and that’s just like, I get it. I talk about video games as my INTJ best friend I don’t think we need to do that.

But you know, and it’s one thing to just keep appreciating like typology CFJ for is that I understand this now that that’s actually a niche for him. And it’s like, you do you man you do you and you know the kind of the like the love that they have is based on showing mercy after I said conflicts and I thought my brother’s best friend as a mind temple philosopher. I could see him as an INFP aureus, TJ I really need to spend more time interacting with him, but he’s definitely control oriented and I see a lot of Te fi and insurance sensing from him but he he was living with my brother and like two other dudes. And I guess without going into details because Yeah, this is a pretty mature story.

But basically, there was a hole in my brother’s door, and I guess the guys could see when my brother was doing things with his girlfriend. And yeah, it’s, I guess my brother found out through just jokes being made, like he overheard them, and, you know, my brother a straight wrath, like, unconfident side of the mind, maybe even super ego level of the mind, like, you know, going and using his wrath and just really Rayji and stuff like that. And that was a very I don’t have to imagine too hard to think of what that was like. But, you know, my, my brother’s best friend was like, you know, he was like, amen.

I’m really sorry about this. And, you know, it’s just like, they, I think it just made their friendship stronger. You know, it was like, my brother was like, Man, you need to tell me these things. Like, it doesn’t help to, you know, hide these things.

It’s like, this is a pretty important thing. You know, it’s embarrassing, and I wish he would have just told me straight up, and, you know, let’s help them and, you know, even my brother and I are moving furniture, like, I dread moving furniture with my family. Well, my FTP, brother, father, because you know, it’s like, you, Effie trickster, you know, I don’t understand things. My brothers are like, do get the frickin door, frickin door and all that other stuff.

And I’m not holding things, right. And I’m clumsy. And yeah, I’m just gonna pay for movers. But, you know, and it’s like, I guess that helps with our relationship.

And I’m like, okay, that feels a bit better. On my end, it’s not like, I’m not an inconvenience, that’s good. But yeah, there’s issues where it’s like, is, you know, it’s not just about conflict, like, if there’s no mercy being exchanged, then that just leads others. But if there’s too much conflict, you know, like, my parents, you know, my mom getting on that cruelty and, and probably my dad being on that, you know, melancholia on both sides, and had a lot of vices going on with each other.

They just drift apart and just go and find other people that could potentially give them that mercy. So if you want your Templars to treat you better, we know, within your family, if you need to play along with the push and pull of conflict and mercy. If there’s too much conflict, of course, they’re gonna see less conflict. But, you know, too little conflict, and it’s just kind of like, person, you know, you know, they’ll see these new people and go, Wow, maybe I’ll get something more from that guy.

You know, I’ll get that conflict and mercy that I’m looking for. But their goal is to feel loved. And just, you know, receive that mercy from other people. familiarity breeds contempt that, you know, they’re around them for so long.

They just kind of lose respect for them. Because it’s like, you know, it says, isn’t that interesting going on? And it’s just like, you know, do you have something to you? Yeah, I think that’s ultimately, like, you know, why my brother is sometimes like, Hey, dude, like, give me your best punch. And, yeah, great. I don’t get it that and, yeah.

But, you know, there isn’t a guaranteed way to stop this, for the Templars, it’s just like, it’s something that you’re gonna have to keep a balance of within your friendships and families, like, try to actually create interesting conflicts and like negative conflicts, just stuff in general that can allow for mercy to come afterwards. And I think a good example of that could even just be playing some games like, I like playing uno with my family, we go at each other’s throats. And it’s a good time. And you know, I’m a card shark.

I’ve always been pretty good with my strategies. I think I’m the only one that really tries to though and my family, but regardless, yeah, it can be fun. But, you know, conflict can be too difficult for a lot of people. I don’t think I can go and do fist fights with my brother.

But I’m sure we’ll have our good mix of things. I I’d like to do business with him at some point. So I’m sure they will The conflict from that, but a lot of people can’t maintain and juggle and handle that, you know, conflict balancing out stuff. So they’re likely just going to receive Templar conflict anyway.

And if you want to Templar on your life, that’s kind of the cost. But I hope that helps with your understanding, and maybe you get some creative ideas for things that you can do to help out your conflicting Templars. Some other ideas that I have, for my dad, you know, I want him to try to get some of that teaching going on. And I it is very stressful on my end.

Because it’s like, if I don’t get something, he kind of gets like a little, like, se Rayji. Like, and he even kind of like does a lot of that self deprecating, where it’s like, forget it. And I’m just like, I’m really trying, but you know, I’m going to try and sign myself up to, you know, keep trying to learn from my dad, because, you know, that’s probably the best thing I can do for him. And, you know, my mom, see if I can help her with her thinking.

You know, she gets really excited when she like, you know, built a shelf by yourself and stuff like that thing that I could do to help my family but I think that’s a really important thing for me to do. But I feel like the podcast Go ahead, subscribe. Keep an eye out for more, and I’ll answer more questions another time. Take care.