INXJs Here’s How You Can Actually Get Sleep! | CS Joseph Responds
INXJs Here’s How You Can Actually Get Sleep! CS Joseph answers the Acolyte Question regarding INXJ sleep.
Transcript:
Are you? Welcome to the CS Joseph podcast. Today’s question, very fascinating question. I’m pretty happy about this particular one, because it’s actually taken me quite a while to come up with an answer that individuals could do instead of an answer relating to like, what people have to do with you know, those that they are in a relationship in order to solve this particular problem. And this problem really centers around sleep a lot of people oftentimes do not know whether or not people of certain types are able to get more sleep than others.
And it continues to be a big problem for a lot of people, most particularly si demon types INFJs INTJ is the types who seem to sleep the least out of the 16 types are most likely to be night owls. Types most likely to have health problems, which come as a result of a lack of sleep. And also who end up having sleep related disorders or sleep related health problems. And it really comes down to just their behavior.
So how can INJs which are INTJs and INFJ’s? How can these two types out of the 16 who lack sleep the most actually gained sleep? How can they get their sleep back? How can they get their sleep back on track? That’s ultimately what this episode is all about. Gosh, I love this. Sadly, this is the last one in town. The Ryan era server Espinosa Boyd band boyband hands down my favorite.
absolutely my favorite. And I’m thankful that I got the last one in town but too bad because the guy who gets them for me said it’s gonna be a long time before he gets them again. So I gotta go hunting around for it. Maybe I need to, I don’t know, who knows what I gotta do to get these.
So but yeah, sleep sleep is a huge problem. You know? But why is this happening like why it’s because like ni hero is so strong and Sid Minnesota weak aside the the SI function is like, the function with which people are just aware of themselves where their body is aware of their own needs. So I N j’s are all about their wants and not their needs. And that includes that their mind is just kind of unaware of their own body, it’s like they’re literally having an out of body experience when 100% of the time.
Which it’s entirely fascinating that that even happens. It’s It’s amazing. It’s absolutely amazing that that happens. So based on that, oftentimes, people don’t realize people don’t realize like the consequences of being, you know, XYZ type with your particular nurture or even your nature.
And, and I hear it was just like, oh, I don’t want to go to bed right now. And they just keep pushing, and they keep pushing and keep pushing. Because from their perspective, it’s like, I want to go to bed when I want to. And they’re always like having this battle with their body where they’re trying to force their body to submit to them.
When Sid was trying to teach them like, hey, you know, maybe you should actually be submitting to me, and then you might actually be healthier, right? And that ends up becoming like a huge, huge problem. So Railgun and I, we have a one and a half year old son together. And he’s an INTJ. And let me tell you something, he does not he does not get very much sleep.
He has a really hard time sleeping, especially alone. And oftentimes Rogen has to sleep with him in order for him to get a good night’s rest so that anyone under the roof can get sleep and I don’t mean anybody. And that can be a huge problem. And, you know, it’s not exactly sustainable to be sleeping with your child every single night.
You know, I get that in ancient times, you know, people would use to do that. But from the male perspective, it’s really bad if men are sleeping around babies at nighttime, because it actually harms though hormones because their body their biology, just automatically assumes that there isn’t a woman around. So it down it, you know, downgrades their testosterone UPS their own estrogen, basically, in order to basically make them more beta, right? Because it’s like, hey, then the man is more motivated to actually take care of the child, because their body is assuming the child isn’t round, it’s a nice little redundancy, backup protection system for small children. You know, that’s pre programmed into our DNA as a race, basically.
Which is a fascinating evolutionary trait, if you think about it, like, entirely fascinating. So, so oftentimes, like, it ends up becoming very difficult, you know, when you’re raising an INFJ child, and, you know, like I said, it happens because their Ni is so strong that they just think that they can, will their body to do whatever they want. And the truth is, is they can’t, they never can actually truly will, their body to do whatever they want. Now, they get oftentimes cocky or arrogant with their si child superiority complex, or their ti child God Complex, where they literally think that they have absolute mastery over their body.
And it’s easy for them to have that perspective of absolute mastery over their body, you know, when they’re 23 years old? You know, when they’re when they’re 23? And, you know, based on that, yeah, sure. I mean, you could have that perspective, but like, fast forward, 10 years later, that’s not how that works, even five years later, that’s not how that works. Eventually, the the sleep deprivation, because you will no longer be able to rely on your youth anymore, it will catch up with you, I don’t care if you’re a man or a woman, it will catch up to you. And there is nothing that you can do about it.
There’s literally nothing you can do about it. And oftentimes, people are not aware of that phenomenon, right? It’s so interesting to me, especially like, when it comes to women, you know, they, they think that they’re like going to have the Fountain of Youth forever. And I’m always going to be young, because I act young. And it’s like, no, no, honey, you’re not, you’re really not.
And especially when they’re an INFJ and they’re not getting any sleep. So you start seeing this dark circles under their eyes, or their or the wrinkles or you know, the bags under their eyes, etc. And that too, can be a big issue, especially for the expert sensing inferior. You know, so oftentimes I get coaching clients that come to me or I and Jason’s, like, Chase, what do I gotta do to get some sleep? What do I got to do? And you know, typically what I’ve stated typically, what I’ve stated in the past, on this channel, and on the podcasts, I’ve stated, like, hey, you know, basically get into a sexual relationship with an SI user and utilize your extroverted sensing, to lock onto their Introverted Sensing and just borrow their body clock, and then that’s how you’ll get to sleep.
But here’s the thing, not everybody’s ready for sexual relationship. Also, like, what if like, they’re really old and like their partner dies? What do they do, then? You know, INJs is like, there’s a lot of risks involved with with that. And it’s not exactly the most sustainable piece of advice. Yes, it does work.
And it works the best. But at the end of the day, it’s not always going to solve the problem of lack of sleep. And again, lack of sleep is happening because they constantly ignore their own needs. They’re all about what they want.
And they like to choose when they go to sleep. And they love to choose when they get up. This is why INJs and also expert at sensing heroes. They’re all they are not morning people.
They’re not morning people by any stretch of the imagination. They become angry, every time they wake up. They’re angry. These people are always upset every single time.
And that ends up becoming a big issue for them. A really big issue. There always. I mean, I remember one time with my ESTP mentor, and I woke him up because we had to go to like an office thing or something or we had to do something for work.
And it was like 20 minutes until we had to like be on the clock. And I woke him up and he swung at me straight up like like he went instant violent, because how dare I take away his choice. But I’ve also had similar experiences in the past. I was in a relationship with an INTJ woman at one point in time, and then when I will grew up because we had to go based on something that we agreed to earlier, it wasn’t exactly a date, it was just us taking care of some responsibilities and town and she woke up and she got really upset, very, very upset.
I also know a particular INFJ in my life right now. Who has what I call the battle royale with his alarm clock. And he’ll hit that alarm clock over and over and over for three and a half. hours, it’s like, and he gets so upset and it’s like, wow.
And every time, every time it comes out of his room, he’s just he’s like, are you know, and I’m like, oh my god, like, why are you people always so angry every time you get up, it kind of makes me like, really, really uncomfortable, you know, what I’m saying? makes me uncomfortable on a regular basis. So that ends up, you know, continuing to be a problem over time. It’s not sustainable, it’s not sustainable living for them. And it’s not sustainable living for me.
And the thing is, it’s like, well, what do I do, because, like, it’s not like, I’m in a relationship with these people. It’s not, you know, and if I have to be like, around them, you know, when I’m sleeping, or if I or if they’re gonna be like, in, you know, in my life, or I’m gonna be in their life, you know, I need to make sure that these people are healthy, they’re productive, that they’re able to get along that they’re able to not be so cranky when they get up, right. So it all comes down to a key. And the key is, how do you get an INFJ to actually want to go to sleep? How do you get them to do it? Well, it’s all about energy.
And I heroes suck up so much energy so quickly, faster than all of the other 16 types, probably faster than all the 16 types combined, that they actually are able to suck up so much energy, but due to their Introverted Sensing demon, they can also spend energy just as quickly as they gather it. Which, you know, if this if this reality was closer to what we see in Dragonball Z and Dragon Ball Super, I’m sure gathering energy we pretty amazing. Imagine the constant endless, you know, Kamehameha waves or, or galette guide or Final Flash, you know, that we’d see over and over and over, right? Or, or miss SENCO, you know, which I believe is a Gohan, or trunks is technique, but it’s because they can gather energy. So well gather energy so quickly, right.
But the thing is, is what they don’t realize is what most people don’t realize is that they actually spend energy the fastest, right. And that is a very important thing to realize, when it comes to getting them to actually want to go to sleep to actually choose to go to sleep, right? Such that they will feel so rested, that they will choose to wake up, you see what I’m saying? Like there is a way to flip this on, on its head, there is a way, there’s a way to completely flip that on its head. And this there’s a way to do it, where they don’t have to be in a relationship with somebody, they don’t have to walk onto someone else’s body clock to do it, they can actually do it completely on their own, with no assistance whatsoever. It is a thing, it is possible it can be done.
So what’s the answer? What is the answer? I came up, I came upon the answer on my own when dealing with my INTJ son. And then I realized if I just apply the technique to any other INFJ in my life, it works 100% of the time, and it absolutely does. So I went in the field and I tested it out. And sure enough, it absolutely works.
I love experimenting. I’m all about experimenting. And yeah, I do experiment on the people in my life with certain things. And this is one of the areas that I have.
I’ll admit it. But here, here’s here’s where the rubber meets the road. Like I observed that you know, my INTJ son, for example. He they when he’s like by himself, he has unlimited energy.
And then like what when you combine him with Railgun you see a very very fascinating dynamic because you have an extroverted sensing inferior, and you have an extroverted sensing hero present at the same time. And then that leads to some interesting shenanigans like very interesting shenanigans. So, what’s actually happening right, so remember, what constitutes as introversion or extroversion, what how do we define introversion or extroversion and terms of situations, right. So, introversion is when a person who is introverted or any person when any person a person is by themselves, that’s technically introversion, but it is also introversion, when a person is with somebody else, one other person.
So one person equals introversion, two persons also equals introversion. I mean, this makes sense because how is it possible that an extrovert could have a relationship with an introvert and the introverts still able to get energy because without you know, because it introverts could only get energy when they were by themselves, it would be really hard for those people to even be willing to have sexual relationships to begin with. And they wouldn’t actually participate in the gene pool whatsoever, because people would just hire them out. The reality of the situation is, is that they can be with people just one at a time and still be able to gain the same amount of energy that they could gain when they are alone.
All right, so that still technically qualifies as introversion. Okay, that introverted situation by themselves or with one other person. When you get to three people or more, that’s when it becomes an extroverted situation. And when there’s an introvert and an extrovert situation, they start to lose energy.
And when an extrovert is in an introverted situation, they start losing energy. But when an extrovert isn’t an extroverted situation, they start gaining energy. This is all completely irrelevant. You have to know how this works, in order to use this technique that I’m about to tell you, i and j so that you can fix your sleep.
Okay. So, let’s go back to Railgun. And my INTJ son, my INTJ son, he, he spends a lot of time with his mother a lot of time and he gets so energized. He’s so excited.
He’s so happy, he’ll run across, they’ll run across the place like screaming at the top of his lungs. You know, he’s just so excited. He’s always trying to put on a show always trying to perform the Mr. Triple pragmatic, Mr.
Triple movement at the same time going Speed Racer pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, and he’s all over the place. And it’s extremely high energy. But this stresses Railgun out Railgun eventually breaks down and just hates it. Why? Because it’s an introverted situation, because I’m not present, right? So in times that I’m not present, my INTJ son ends up becoming an energy vampire and sucks all the energy out of his mother, his ESTP mother, and she’s got expert sensing hero, she just can’t deal with it.
And after, after she’s so tired out, because of all the energy has sucked from her. He still can’t go to bed and he doesn’t want to go to bed See, so energized but she’s desperate to go to bed. She’s desperate for sleep, because she’s just so drained. She’s completely drained.
But he can’t, he’s still going. And she gets extremely upset. And then this ends up causing her ni inferior to feel like he’s taking your choice away. And then it lends herself to being at risk of becoming very Rayji.
Very Rayji. As a mother, it’s not her fault. It’s just natural to her, you know, to her psyche. This is very natural.
So what do you do in that situation? Well, what I learned was, is that throughout most of the day, for at least once or twice a day, I have to make sure my INTJ son is forced to extrovert, I force an extrovert. I take him places I put around people he doesn’t know. And I just watched his energy just drop like that. For example, recently, like, like eight o’clock at night, he was out of control, his energy levels were insanely high.
And I told Railgun I’m like, Okay, let’s just go to Walmart and bring his little child’s shopping cart that he can push around as a one and a half year old and, you know, we’ll buy a couple things that we need or whatever. And she’s like, okay, yeah, sure. Because she’s like, Yeah, I get to extrovert I get to gain energy now, because it was me, her and our son, that’s three people, right? So now she’s extroverted. Right? And then all of a sudden, our INTJ sign he is extroverted as well.
And then it was just so amazing. Just to watch his energy levels just completely dropped. While her energy levels went up. Basically, she was no longer drained, even though he basically drained her all day, but she was able to replenish her energy, and he had like no energy.
After bringing them home, he immediately went to bed immediately. And without without a fuss without an issue whatsoever. He was immediately asleep. And he slept all night.
No interruptions, no nothing, right. So what does this reveal about INFJs i n J’s you need to recognize that you have needs your body has needs and what are the needs your body has asleep. But in order to get sleep, you have to drain the energy that you gained from introversion with extraversion. You have to go out in public you have to be in a situation put yourself in a situation where it’s you plus at least two other people so that your energy is properly draining from you.
And your it’ll drain fast. And then once that’s done, you’ll actually be able to get some sleep. That’s the secret. That’s the key.
Because if you do that you’ll have better health and life. You will be less grouchy people actually want to be around you people actually stick around for you, your performance will go up. You kind of need to do this as an INFJ If you’re not willing to do that, well, then you’re just gonna be a burden on other people, and no one’s gonna want to stick around, including me, like, I’m not gonna want to have anything to do with you, like, seriously. So you gotta be like my son in that situation, forced to go out and extrovert.
I don’t know how many times I hear about INFJs, you know, they just want to stay home all the time, especially like, for example, INFJ women, and they’re like, you know, turning into dog moms because or cat moms because they can’t get a relationship to save your life because they never go out in public. And they never sleep, because they’re up almost 24 hours a day, because they’re spending so much time alone, giving their brains endless energy, when they need to let go of that energy. And the only way to burn that energy is to go be around other people. That’s literally it.
And then all of a sudden, they will be naturally tired out and then all of a sudden, their NI will be like, okay, yeah, I want to sleep now. Because I have no mental energy left, because I was extroverted. That’s literally it. This is a very healthy practice, this is a very necessary healthy practice that INFJs need to utilize in their life on a daily basis, it is required.
And if they don’t do this, well, they’re gonna have a big problem on their hands. It’s gonna be a huge issue, a very big issue. And oftentimes, people just don’t realize they don’t realize the consequences. You know, here’s the thing i nj is it is dangerous, dangerous to your health, dangerous to your relationships, dangerous to your life, for you to be binging on spending time alone, when you should be having I could say, you know, I could I could be like, oh, you know, whoo, whoo.
And just be like, oh, you should have balanced in your life? No, no, there’s a time to introvert and there’s a time to extrovert but the thing is, is that you folks need to extrovert every single day, especially towards the end of the day. So that by doing so you’re drained. And then you’ll actually want to sleep and you’ll actually choose to go to sleep. Right? Yeah, it’ll be your choice.
But here’s the thing, you need to have the self discipline to go out and be around people I don’t care for at the library. I don’t care if you’re at the park, I don’t care if you’re at a bar, doing some work sitting on your laptop, or you’re in a coffee shop, doing some work on a laptop, you are forcing yourself to extrovert I’m so tired of seeing like, for example, INTJ women going to the gym at 930 at night because their se inferior is so afraid of people looking at them and so afraid of people judging them and being like, oh gross, and like you know, and having these reactions that never actually happen. Like that don’t because no one cares that much. INTJ is no one actually cares that much.
You might care but you’re projecting that care because the how shallow you people can be onto other people you are assuming everyone else is just as shallow as you are. No, that’s not how life works. Oh my god, it’s annoying. And then for example, and peas like me, we can’t go out there and meet the girls of our dreams basically because you weren’t around because you’re too busy at home, being alone.
Gaining all his energy and binging on his energy and never getting sleep which is good is gonna make you even uglier, fatter, unhealthier. Ultimately just not desirable in any which way your performance is going to go down who’s going to stick around for you? Same problem. I have the same issue with inf J’s same issue. Okay.
You know, but it’s no different for men. It’s no different and men even have a larger burden to perform as men with extroverted sensing inferior. So, go make some friends. If you have an archetype.
Make some friends, show yourself friendly. Go make some friends. Seriously. Do yourself a favor, go make some friends, spend some time with them.
Drain yourself, drain yourself so that you can actually get some sleep so you can actually perform all right. If you don’t do this, I promise you, you will be unhappy in life. You will be this is like literally one of the prerequisite requirements that you need to have as a healthy habit as an INFJ type to be able to potentially become happy. You have to do this.
That’s the reality of the situation. Anyway, folks, thanks for watching and listening, and I’ll see you guys in the next episode.
