INFPs! Sound Smart or Look Dumb! | CS Joseph Responds
Sound Smart or Look Dumb, INFP! CS Joseph answers the Acolyte question how do INFPs learn to speak well?
Transcript:
Hey what’s up yo yo hackers, welcome to the CS Joseph podcast. Tonight’s episode we’re going to be discussing, how can I as an INFP, learn to speak better? is a great question. I’m glad. I’m glad this question was asked.
It’s it’s excellent. Very excellent. Thank you to the acolyte member that asked this question, it’s really nice to be able to have an opportunity to talk about this one. So why do INFP types need to actually learn? Learn about speaking better? I mean, what was the point? Like? Why? Why is it even necessary? It’s necessary because of extroverted thinking inferior, combined with expert sensing trickster, these two particular functions make it a little bit difficult.
For INFJs, to be comfortable with speaking, they’re just completely unaware of how they come off to other people. And that can be a huge challenge for them, like, like a very big challenge. The other thing is, is that they’re very insecure about other people. Think about them.
And then as a result of that, that too well, they’re often they often prefer to not speak, or say anything, and they could actually be speaking, you know, among people, or around people, basically. But they end up not doing it at all, they end up not doing it at all, which can be a problem. Maybe like, either like, you know, speak in their head, instead of like actually joining into the conversation, or offering their opinion, because they’re afraid that their opinion just doesn’t matter. They’re afraid that their voice doesn’t even matter.
So having a voice is really important to them. So, you know, how do they get over this insecurity? How do they speak better? Well, first of all, they need to they’re part of the mind temple, they need to basically learn, they need to learn how to speak better, obviously, I could recommend that they go to Toastmasters, and learn how to give speeches and improve their ability at public speaking. I mean, that’s, that’s pretty obvious. Getting to a position where they can ultimately Hone or craft their ability to be better at public speaking.
Toastmasters is an example. Going to meet up groups and meeting new people, instead of just sitting there at the meeting group and trying their best to actively participate and share their opinion. But they often lack confidence to even share their opinion to begin with. And that can be very problematic, very problematic.
For for them. So how do you how do you deal with it? Well, it really comes down to just how valuable their opinion actually is, the younger and INFP, the less life experience they have, which means the it’s more likely that their opinion, actually has less value. And that can be that can be a huge problem, like, like a very, very, very big problem. So I would recommend, you know, potentially avoiding that outcome entirely, really avoiding that outcome.
And based on that, there’s, you know, certain ways or certain strategies that can be done, but it really, really comes down to at the end of the day, it really comes down to how much life experience they have, or how much knowledge that they’ve gathered over time. Like, I guarantee you that Robert Greene is very confident in his speaking but because he’s a major researcher, he’s he’s an expert at a wide variety of subjects. So INFP is end up dealing with a deadly sin of sloth, and they’re often very slothful, they end up feeling powerless, the more slothful that they are, and feeling powerless can end up being like a huge problem for inf peas in general. So they need to feel powerful, they need to feel like they actually have some authority by becoming an authority on various subjects that way they know with confidence that their opinion has value, right? And then when they have a valuable opinion, they’re more willing to share that opinion ultimately.
So basically, INFP is need to learn to read and develop the craft of reading and reading nonfiction and then after reading so much and not just read like a particular book and not I’ve just read just fiction, like, they need to read author by author read all of Robert Greene, for example, who is an INFP? You know, and the ultimate study technique you want to study or read from people that are your same type. But you know, they need to read books on philosophy, Nietzsche and Kant, even though I don’t think Kant is a proper philosopher, obviously, Dostoevsky, you know, was that other guy that was given to me recently, Soren Kierkegaard. So we’re not recently like, two years ago, but still, but the point is, is like, that’s how an INFP can develop their opinion. By reading a wide variety of topics and subjects, their Introverted Sensing child becomes empowered with a lot of experience of reading these different things, these different subjects, these different authors.
And then, as a result of doing so they end up, they end up using their expert intuition to be able to see patterns with the things that they’re able to read and information that they’re able to take in. And then their extroverted thinking inferior, will start to categorize it, and then their Introverted Feeling hero will then start extracting meaning. And then then the more meaning they’re able to gather, the more valuable their opinion gets. And then their opinion is effectively shareable and ends up becoming the most shareable, most powerful, and the best opinion in the room.
And it gives them full confidence to be able to speak because they know, no one is going to be able to outdo their opinion, their valuable opinion in the room because of how well read they are basically, you know, yeah, sure. They, they may, they may have a hard time speaking, they may have a hard time with people hearing them or listening to them. Sure. That’s definitely possible.
But at the end of the day, it really comes from insecurity as a result of a lack of a valuable opinion. If they want to fix this problem, you know, going through Toastmasters, doing speeches, maybe poetry slams, it really doesn’t matter. Because at the end of the day, if they’re not well read, as a member of the mind, Temple, their opinions going to be valueless. And they’re always going to be insecure about sharing their opinion.
And they’re not even going to speak anyway, they don’t even be able to practice speaking or public speaking, in any particular situation at all, like not even remotely. So before they can even like, go to Toastmasters, and increase their public speaking skills. They need to ultimately they need to read. And also I also recommend, like a layer between, you know, like speaking or public speaking and reading, and that later it would be writing, why not start a blog, after you’ve read so much, let’s say you’ve write like 2530 books about a particular subject, then you start writing about it.
And then writing about it will give you little totems with which you can reference. And then you could provide links, or even promote your blog when you actually do public speaking, because then people are actually willing to listen to what you have to hear. But no one’s gonna want to hear something from an INFP, who’s not well read. And that’s why you guys are so insecure, because you kind of basically already know that.
And that’s ultimately what’s inhibiting your ability to get over your insecurity. At the end of the day, you have to get off your slothful ass, and go pick up a book, especially books you disagree. If you disagree with authors, you disagree with their point of view, you need to gain perspective. So read subjects that you disagree with, it’s very important.
It’s, it’s it is, it’s basically required, you have to do this, you have to be able to get to that. To get to that point, if you’re not able to do that you’re not really going to get anywhere in life as an INFP. This is why I have always said consistently, inf peas need to be well read, they need to read nonfiction. And the nonfiction they need to start with is opinions and thoughts that they internally disagree with.
Because INFP is a very credulous, they have this problem where they will read things that they already agree with, and they end up creating, because of their comfort zone, they end up creating an echo chamber in their head because they already know what their values are. They only want to read things that support their values. They don’t want to read things that challenge their ego investments. And ultimately, that’s what an INFP needs to do to have the most valuable opinion out there.
They need to be well read on subject matter that they fundamentally disagree with that challenges their ego investments that challenges what they value. And until they do that they’re not really going to get anywhere in life. Which sucks, sucks to be them basically. They’re not going to become great speakers.
They’re not going to become great writers. So folks, I ENFPs Listen to me when I say this, you you have to start at the beginning. Go pick up nonsense Should books read by the author, not by title, you read by author, go look in that author’s bibliography on all the references and read those books. And just slowly extend your experience out from there.
If you do that, I promise you, you will be successful. Right? That’s what you need to do. That’s everything that you need to do. It’s, it’s required.
It’s, it’s insanely important. I cannot, I cannot stress this enough, folks. So please, I beg you read a book, pick up a book, a nonfiction book, especially one that challenges your ego investments, especially one that doesn’t fit your values, so that you can hone and craft your values. And by honing and crafting your values, over time will make your opinion that much more valuable to the point where it is entirely desirable, where people will be coming up to you and asking you to speak and share your opinion, which basically gives you that which you seek the most out of life, which is authority, because you will become an authority figure and other people’s lives, which INFP out there would not want that.
That’s just reality. So anyway, folks, thanks for watching and listening, and I’ll see you guys in the next episode.
