ENTPs Are Just Controlling…Right? | CS Joseph Responds
ENTPs are just controlling… right? CS Joseph Responds to the Acolyte Question do ENTP men need influence over their women in a relationship?
Transcript:
Are you? Welcome to the CS Joseph podcast. Tonight’s episode we’re going to be discussing ENTP men and their relationships. The question that came in from the acolyte, a user who asked this question, it’s very interesting one as It delves into masculine or feminine relationships are basically kind of how ENTPs would handle their relationships. It’s an extremely complex question.
And the answer, honestly, is just as complex. So based on that level of complexity, I’m going to do my best for the sake of this episode to actually outline each individual perspective, as best as I can. But, you know, this might be a longer one, I’m not entirely sure, but I will do my best. So the question is, do ENTP men need influence over their women in the context of a relationship? That’s, that’s the question.
And that’s a very vague question, like an extremely vague question. Because there’s so many different ways that I can actually answer this question I could talk about, you know, the red pill perspective, you know, iron rule, Tomasi, one, which is frame is everything frame is frame is absolutely everything. And talking about, well, doesn’t matter what psychological they type type they have, from a young in analytical psychology perspective, you know, men are going to be men in relationships, you know, and if they’re doing what they should be doing, they will have Frame and Frame is basically described like this, a man’s life or a man, you know, it’s a picture frame, right? Everything in the man’s life is in this picture frame. If he likes fishing, he’s got his fishing gear, he’s got himself in there.
Obviously, if he likes max at the gathering, he’s got his cars in there. If he likes playing Xbox, Xbox is in there. His car that he drives, isn’t there, like his life is ultimately like, his frame. Right? That’s, that’s, that is what is there in his frame.
Another way of looking at frame, a much better way of it, is I like to call it grab a toss. But of course, you know, I’m biased in saying so because I’ve extroverted intuition hero and expert intuition is all about attraction, magnetism, gravitons, etc. But Gravatars from the perspective of a solar system, one of my favorite songs of all time was sung by an INFP woman by the name of Lana Del Rey. And the song was the main song for the Leonardo DiCaprio film, The Great Gatsby, which is funny because Leo DiCaprio is an intp.
And that’s what this is about. But there’s a particular lyric in the song young and beautiful by Lana Del Rey, that says, you know, talking about how the man in her life is her son. And because of him shining on her, she’s able to shine as a result, her beauty is coming out and shining along with him basically, it’s like when the sun in our solar system casts its light upon the moon, and you can see the moon in the sky, and the moon is exceptionally beautiful this evening here in a quarter lane. But and then also like the light that’s being cast upon the earth, as well, in the light on any of the other planets within the solar system that’s cast onto each of those planets as a result of sunlight making it to them through the solar system, and all those planets ultimately, orbit the sun, right? So and the sun is ultimately the source of all life, life cannot exist in the solar system without sunlight.
Without gravity, the gravity provided by the sun, you know, like human beings need to realize that we can’t survive without sunlight, and we also can’t survive without gravity. Without gravity, for example, if we’re bleeding, we’re going to bleed out. And that can be a problem, right? It can be a huge problem. So based on that, so based on that, it’s really important to make sure that you understand how frameworks, you know like like, like let’s imagine for example, the planet Venus is your woman right? And she has to orbit you the sun in your life.
Your life is a solar system. The sun doesn’t orbit anyone in the sun’s life in the sun solar system. Everyone else in the sun solar system in the Sol system basically orbits the Sun If that’s what it’s there for, that’s how it works. And masculine and feminine relationships are no different.
Doesn’t matter what type you are, you know, your woman should be orbiting you, you should not be orbiting your woman, your woman and if you are orbiting your woman, you will ultimately lose her because eventually she will orbit someone else who expects her to orbit them. Which is ultimately what the iron rule Tomasi number one is all about frame is everything. So, yeah, of course, NTP men have to have influence over their women that they’re in relationships with, but that’s not good enough. All men need influence over their women in relationships.
And I’m not just projecting when I say that. I think the context of this question might be more about freedom, you know, like, how much freedom does a woman have in a relationship, but then we already we already discussed that at length in a previous video here on the YouTube channel and on the podcast, just just search that, you know, how much how much space? Do I give an intp? How much freedom do I give a woman as an ESTP? Like those questions have been asked before. So you might want to search for them here on the YouTube channel. Or you can open up a ticket at support at CS Joseph dot life, just email.
And they’ll try to find you a link if it’s that important to you to find those particular episodes. That being said, hopefully, they will include the links in the description below after doing the QA process for this video. So that way, you all can be educated on this properly. And I don’t have to redo content that I’ve already done within the context of this, of this video.
But the question was asked, censoring en TPS. And while a lot of these things that I can say, would be, you know, I can generalize it and make it about any of the 16 types, I’m going to do my best to answer this question from the perspective of an ESTP. Right. So why would an intp man based on his cognitive functions need to have influence over his woman, and influence is another word for influence, or at least the the one of the sides of the same coin, power and influence are two different sides of the same coin? When it comes to relationships.
And the person in a relationship who has power is the person who needs the other person the least basically, that’s the reality. That’s the reality of situation, in my own personal life within the context of my own sexual relationships. I don’t need a woman. I don’t need a woman at all.
I don’t need it. I want women. I want a woman I want women, but I don’t need them. Right.
And I actually got into a huge debate with a pastor’s kid who was an ESTP at the local speakeasy about this, he was making an argument that, you know, well, men need women, because God created Adam. And then he saw that there was a need, and then he provided Eve to Adam. And I’m like, no, no, no, no, no, no. God only said within the story of Genesis in the book of Genesis In the beginning of the Bible, he said, It is not good for man to be alone.
That’s all it was. It had nothing to do with it being all about needs or wants, right? That’s a very Nietzschean point of view. Right? So if you’re not familiar with Frederick Nietzsche, I highly recommend you actually watch or read. I mean, you can find YouTube videos about Frederick Nietzsche.
But I highly recommend you actually take the time to read his books. And one of his books provides an analysis on needs versus wants. And you know how that dichotomy actually matters. Now it plays out in human life, I highly recommend it and Frederick Nietzsche, God bless them was a very triple pragmatic triple progression.
INTJ. He also had a sexual relationship with an intp woman known as Lou Andrea Salomi, who did write her own book. And her famous quote, her famous quote was, you know, life’s greatest ecstasy was the reception of semen, basically, which is fascinating. If you think about it, she was very high Pergamus.
She had two men, Nietzsche was one of them, and she had another man as well. And they basically shared her for a while, and that was, but they were also really, really great friends. So it’s not unlike you know, what you see in like the Vikings TV show from the History Channel. You know, where Floki is sharing his wife with one of his friends, very close friends, or Ragnar is sharing Lagertha or attempting to share Lagertha with his priest, friend, etc.
That’s just kind of how the bromance can play out sometimes and sometimes men share their wives with their closest friends or share their women with their closest friends in very specific circumstances, right? So, but that’s not that’s not what I’m talking about here. That’s not the context we’re talking about here. So why would an ESTP man just just from a union analytical psychology point of view, from a cognitive function point of view, just from my personality type point of view? Why would an E intp man want to be exerting influence over his woman? Right, why? Well, the answer that question is actually simply rooted in his Introverted Sensing has Introverted Sensing Inferior function. Inferior function is also known as the infant function.
Psychologically speaking, it behaves like an infant, it is literally a baby. This is why ESTP is ESFPs really have a hard time with DNTPs. Because oftentimes, DNTPs, especially as children are told that they’re like little girls, they’re told that they’re extremely weak, right? And yes, it’s true intp men start off super weak, probably the weakest out of all of the 16 types early on in their age. But as they develop over time, they become the strongest of all of the types Actually, don’t believe me, just look at the top GE Andrew Tate himself.
That’s a great example. Or look at Kevin Samuels, another EMTP, who also became strong started out weak but became very, very strong. Or Malcolm X, same thing. Benjamin Franklin, same thing, Socrates, same thing, King Solomon, same thing, right? At least Solomon had the brilliance of asking God for wisdom, because he realized the one fundamental truth about the universe.
And I could ask for money, power, women cars, all this in my prayers, but that’s not really going to gain me anything. If I asked for wisdom, I’ll have all of the know how and all the knowledge that I need to gain all the women power money cars that I would ever want. Oddly enough, Solomon still today is the richest man who have ever lived and just his gold holdings alone was worth over $2 trillion dollars in today’s money. Of course, it’s probably 4 trillion by now, in US dollars based on inflation and quantitative easing on the part of the Federal Reserve.
So just just just remember, if you adjust for inflation, it’s probably way more than 2 trillion now. So that’s really important to know that distinction. But again, that need to exert influence over a woman comes from Introverted Sensing inferior, it’s just it’s like a baby. It’s like an infant.
And it cries and it gets all cranky when it’s uncomfortable, and feels unsafe. And it throws throws a fit, it starts crying, basically. And it just needs its diaper change. Sometimes it needs its bottle, it just needs to be taken care of.
And as soon as it has its needs, and it’s, it’s, you know, and it’s very small needs. I mean, I don’t know if you folks ever have had a baby before, but if you just give the baby what the baby wants, the baby stops crying immediately. Like immediately. It’s not hard actually to take care of a baby.
It’s not. I have, I have three children right now. And I participated in the raising of two of them very, very much put in a lot of hours, a lot of effort raising my sons, and I did change diapers, I did feed them bottles. I mean, I I was Mr.
Mom for a good portion of their lives. And that’s not a bad thing. I mean, I had I had the experience I worked in a nursery at the church growing up for a very, very long time and then got involved in youth leadership youth pastoring later in my 20s basically around the time that I was homeless, and I did that for a while for about two years. Wow.
Well a year and a half to two years ish. So when I was when I was at that church in Mount Vernon, Washington, and I was heavily involved with the youth there to the point of like, picking up the homeless kids from the homeless shelter in a van every week for our weekly youth rally that we’d have on Thursday night for example. So I got a lot of experience dealing with youth I got a lot of experience dealing with babies and small children and whatnot and was heavily involved in the nursery you know, just me being every child exploring my is FJ subconscious because that was really the only place I was allowed to explore. My is FJ subconscious and my Fe child because my nuclear family with my father being an ENFJ my mother especially being an INFJ and my younger sister being an ESF J.
I was not allowed to have the role of SF Jey within the confines of my nuclear family. So working in the nursery was really the only way that I could actually develop or even explore that side of my mind apart from my ego, even though also my ego I was not also allowed either, which is why I am unconscious developed with INTJ unconscious. And then later in my life I just doubled down and became unconscious focused at the same time and that’s why I’m a UD UF type with my aka grant. For more information on Dr.
Graham because CS Joseph dot life forge slash members go to become a journeyman member. If you already are joining a member login at CS joseph.ly forward slash portal, go to the cutting edge section and watch the August 2022 Cutting Edge episode on OctoPrint. Or just JOIN OUR DISCORD SERVER and go to the discus aka Graham channel and looked at the pin messages that will also help you get started as a free resource. So all these different things are important to know.
But again, exerting influence over a woman really comes down to the ENTPS internal infantile need of comfort and certainty to the point where sometimes the intp can end up being controlling in the relationship. A great example of this in fiction is actually the 50 Shades of Grey books. And I highly, highly recommend that if you are an intp. Or if you’re in a relationship with any intp you read those books by E L.
James those those 50 Shades of Grey books, all three of them. I particularly love Book Two, Book Two, I heavily identify with, especially the scene where Christian Grey, the EMTP, who is with his INFJ lover, Anastasia and he finally finally allows her to touch him and the parts of his body where he is most insecure because Introverted Sensing is all insecurity and is rated sensing inferior NTPs really have a hard time being comfortable in their own skin. They’re just perpetually uncomfortable and trying to cope and cope with reality cope with life. They’re trying to cope in everything, everything to them as a coping mechanism.
And they often develop systems and procedures around coping. That’s why any and TP needs to be in a relationship with a woman or women who help them cope or or provides relief for that Introverted Sensing inferior, right? That cute little Introverted Sensing inferior than EMTP has. So from their perspective, if any intp is not exerting influence over a woman that they’re in a relationship with, then their coping needs for their Introverted Sensing inferior are ultimately not going to be met. And that’s why they do it.
That’s ultimately why you know, that’s why they end up having a rap for being controlling in relationships. Literally, for that reason. Andrew Tate’s no different entertainers no different that’s how his that’s how his sexual relationships work. Like, if he’s going to have a relationship that’s more than just a one and done or relationship that’s more than just, you know, F buddies, etc.
It’s all from the perspective of is this woman going to help me cope? Is this woman going to provide relief into my life instead of increased my stress, because DNTPs are oftentimes in a, in a state of chronic stress in their life, because of Introverted Sensing inferior, and how they have to cope with every aspect in life, right. You know, and sometimes, you know, weaker NTPs or en teepees who just haven’t figured out that they got to do everything alone in their life, and they have to develop value EMTB men have to develop value because they’re born valueless, and they have to grow and develop value and become strong on their own. And it takes many decades for them to do this, to the point where they don’t even have it really figured out until their 30s, right? Where they have developed their own coping skills on their own. You know, if they’re going to invite a woman to be in their frame a woman to orbit their son basically, within their own solar system of their own life.
Well, that EMTP is ultimately going to need a woman who provides relief and not stress on his life, right? Imagine an intp man not exerting influence over his woman. Well, what’s going to happen is that he’s going to have a very stressful life with her. He’s going to be stressed out. A woman’s main purpose for an ESTP in a sexual relationship is to provide him with relief, right? To be something that relieves stress and not bring stress added stress into his life.
And it’s actually the number one reason why ESTP men break up with women in their life. Or shy away from people. Not just women, but anyone because if they see someone as being a source of stress or they feel overly pressured, they’re just going to move on, they’re going to take their attention and give it elsewhere. This is one of the reasons why Andrew Tate would say in some of his videos that your attention is your most valuable asset as a man Well, attention is the most valuable asset from an EMTP man.
And he if he gives attention to a woman, but then she’s a source of stress in his life, he’s gonna stop giving her time, attention and resources, and give it to a different woman instead, that woman who is providing him relief to his stress and helping him cope with life as a life partner, basically. And she’s performing for him in that from that perspective, ultimately, relieving stress for him. So if you’re, if you’re a woman, and you’re looking at being in a relationship with any intp, or you are in relationship with the intp, one of the ways that you can help meet their cognitive origin of satisfaction is by being the source of anti stress in any NTPs life. And the reason why he has to exert influence over you is because he may not actually be comfortable enough in your ability to do that.
However, the more you can help them cope, the more you provide stress relief, the more that you could take care of his si inferior, the less influence or leverage or power he would exert over you, and the more freedom you will have. And he’ll be happy to use his any hero to give you maximum unlimited freedom in your life and your shared life with him. And he’s happy to be sharing everything with you. But he needs to be able to trust you.
And trust is the number one thing that an intp really, that an intp man needs to be receiving from women in his life that he’s in a relationship with. And based on that, you know, that’s ultimately what’s going to spell out success for your relationship. dNTP I mean, there’s other there’s other landmines as other issues that could potentially blow up your relationship with an intp. But that’s the main thing.
Now granted, don’t forget, you know, Introverted Sensing inferior is a gateway function. And it’s the gateway function into an ESTP man’s is FJ subconscious. And the INFJ subconscious is all about outcomes. It’s all about wanting a guaranteed outcome, right.
And the guaranteed outcome that an NTP man is going to need is to be comfortable, to feel safe to, to be able to cope to be able to deal with the stress in his life, and you as his woman not being a source of stress. That means if you’re the Venus orbiting his son, your orbit better be exactly where the sun determines your orbit should be. And if you go just a little bit off kilter, even one degree off your orbit, he’s going to feel disrespected, he’s going to feel like you’re a source of stress in his life. And he’s going to withdraw his time, resources and ultimately his attention from you, and give his attention to a different Venus, he’ll add an additional Venus into his solar system, and then that Venus will end up taking over where you were unable to perform for him.
Right. That’s how it works, right? This is ultimately why intp men feel they have the need to exert influence over the women in their lives, because it’s their iossef J subconscious, needing a guaranteed outcome of their woman being able to take care of their needs, their si inferior needs, right. That’s how that works. That’s why it happens.
But if you prove with a pattern of behavior, approve with consistent performance, and taking care of his si inferior, then he will not need to exert as much influence because he’ll be confident, and knowing that his outcome of you being a source of stress relief in his life, and helping him cope with life in general, where he doesn’t have to do everything on his own, just as much as God said, it is not good for man to be alone. Well, and ENTP is willing to not be alone with you, provided you’re able to be a source of stress relief in his life instead of a source of stress in his life. Right. You’re able to help them cope.
And then as a result, he trusts you more he can learn to rely on you to be there. If he needs a massage from you, boom, he’s got a massage, if and you’re providing that massage and a good one. You know, if you need to, if he needs a meal from you, boom, you can make a meal, you know, like whatever it is that he may need. You’re they’re able to perform that function that utility for him.
What this ends up doing is it creates a lot more loyalty in his si inferior towards you. And as a result, he’ll never abandon you forever. He’ll never Vandy, he’ll never let go of you, you’ll always be loyalty. He’ll always remember all your effort because NTP men honor effort.
Above all, they know that in order for them to be strong in order for them to cope with this reality that their se demon already hates by a cognitive orbit within their Introverted Sensing inferior, that you’re different, you’re not, you’re actually helping them see that reality is great. But it’s really only great because you’re there to help relieve the stress that reality, that they’re trying to cope with reality, you’re different, you’re not trying to take the ESTP down, you’re trying to raise them up by helping them cope by making them comfortable. By by bringing him satisfaction, ultimately. And that’s one of the ways he’s satisfied, being a source of stress relief in his life, and then going out of your way to plan stress relief for him, because you are constantly observing him and aware of the experience that he’s having on a day to day basis, so you can be there to comfort him.
That’s literally how it works. And like I said, if an intp is not getting that from you, he’s going to exert more power, leverage influence over you as a, you know, as a man, until you’re able to deliver once you’re able to deliver, and you have a pattern of consistent behavior of that delivery of performance for him, guess what, he won’t need to exert much power influence or leverage over you as a woman anymore, because you’ve already proven yourself and then his any hero will start working via cognitive access, to give you even more freedom, even more choices, he’ll even be more comfortable over time to share even more secret parts about him that he’s never shared with anyone else. Because you just have that deep relationship, that deep connection with him, that deep connection, that deep relationship with his Introverted Sensing inferior, this, ultimately, is what the ideal woman constitutes for an ENFP man, and you can be that woman, you just have to choose it, and be consistent about it. That’s it.
And as a result, I promise you success within the within the confines of this relationship, I promise you that success. It’ll be there and he’ll he’ll never let go of you will never abandon you. You can even fail from time to time but because you have so much effort that you have put in towards the relationships stored up in his Introverted Sensing because he’s walking memory totem for you, the extroverted sensor, the extroverted sensing woman, as you extroverted, sense him and help him cope and make him comfortable, be a source of stress relief in his life and provide relief to him. He’ll never let go of you.
Even if sometimes you fail sometimes, because it’s just stored up in his love tank basically, or in that love bank account that you make consistent deposits in, he’ll never let go of you and he’ll always be there and you can always rely on him because he can always rely on you. That’s how it works. All right, folks, I’ve answered this question. So thanks for watching and listening, and I’ll see you guys in the next episode.
