Is It Healthy For Si Users to Keep the Same Friends Forever? | CS Joseph Responds
CS Joseph responds to the Acolyte question is it healthy for Si users to keep the same friends forever?
Transcript:
Hey what’s up ego hackers. Welcome to the CS Joseph Podcast. Today today’s episode we’re gonna be discussing si users and their friends, but more specifically si inferiors and their friends. So when is it exactly appropriate? When is it appropriate to have Introverted Sensing people or Introverted Sensing and fears, especially, to get rid of their friends reject their friends or keep their friends keep them forever? Who knows? Who knows? I mean, I guess that’s why the questions being asked ultimately, the thing is, is that, you know, it’s just amazing to me, like, you know, how people are either hyper aware or completely unaware of how Introverted Sensing as a cognitive function basically has like, no.
Well, it’s always constantly stuck in its comfort zone, it’s very risk averse. And I imagine that would be the same when it comes to you know, people’s relationships. And when it comes to their friendships, right. Friendships are very interesting, like, thing as though like, Introverted Sensing is such a mysterious function, because it’s attached to the most mysterious function, which is expert intuition.
So it’s like always si and E and axis. And while it very much enjoys the familiar, it also has to have a healthy relationship with the unknown. The unknown is super important, you know, consistently. Because if it’s not really aware, or if it’s not really engaging in the unknown, then it will be consistently left behind, you know, as a function, and then it will not develop, it will not gain enough life experience.
So, yeah, one can easily make the argument that it’s like, hey, you know, if you always have the same friends around all the time, you know, you’re stuck in your comfort zone. And that must mean you’re not exactly growing as a person. Right. And, you know, that’s, that’s a very basic argument that could be made by just anyone, and it’s usually Wayfarer types who are making that argument to an SI user, or in particular, an SI inferior, like myself, or an ENFP, ESTP, or an ENTP type, you know, as a result.
So, based on that, it’s like, okay, what do I do, then? You know, but is it okay, is it good to have most familiar friends, friends, that you can have relationships for potentially decades? I’d say so. See, that’s the thing, like, you know, I know, like recently, like, you know, Andrew Tate was just like, removed, you know, from social media and whatnot, and shut up, shut down hustlers University, accused of being a human trafficker, and all this other stuff. But one of the things he said that really spoke to me is like, he’s always talking about how like, you know, your circle of friends, especially as a man, it really matters, you know, because if you’re around high quality, high value men, you yourself will either become high value and high quality that is if they don’t kick you out. Or you’ll increase their quality, right? Because that’s just kind of how men are, you know, like, you know, when women get together women talk, that’s why they have stitch and bitch, you know, but when men get to the men do, they’re always doing something.
And because men are doing, it’s always like to increase a skill of some kind. If you’ve noticed, it’s always like something skill based, you know, and you can, you can always attribute to whatever men are doing as a group to some kind of skill could be something as simple as magic the gathering where they’re actually just improving their intuitive capabilities, their strategic capabilities, or tactical capabilities. You know, during this game, this game that’s actually a lot harder than chess. You know, a lot of people don’t realize that but Magic the Gathering is definitely far more complex, and far more difficult than chess, especially when you’re playing commander format, because it’s like you’re having four different chess boards at the same time, all of those chess boards can interact with one another.
And each person you know goes one at a time in a clockwise motion and you just don’t know what’s going to happen. You’re constantly outside of your comfort zone, right? And you know, being out of your comfort zone, you know, that that really matters that it really it really goes pretty far you know, as a result of that that’s the thing though, like I think I personally think it’s very important that you know, an introverted sensor especially in SI inferior actually holds on to their friends provided they’re actually real friends, friends, that to actually benefit you friends that don’t just take advantage you friends that aren’t just, you know, transactional, you know, the Golden Rule treat others the way you want to be treated. You know, for me, I’d like my friends to be loyal, I’d like them to stick around, even when I feel I like them be able to challenge me and call me out and criticize me when necessary. Also to have my back or, you know, at a moment’s notice, drop everything they’re doing and be there for me, you know what I’m saying? There’s nothing wrong with that.
It’s absolutely nothing wrong with that point of view or that perspective. Right. The thing is, though, is that oftentimes, you know, I personally have been accused of being stuck in my comfort zone, because I won’t change my friends. That’s the thing.
Like, I think it’s wiser to just add to your friend crew, instead of just take away per se, unless, of course, that person’s being abusive, or their curse in your life, right? You know, INTJ is often asked, you know, well, how do I, how do I manage my friends? How do I know if I should reject a friend or not? You know, and I tell them, like, Look, you need to look at, you know, your friends from a perspective of an investment portfolio, right? Are you getting a return on your investment? Or are you not getting return on investment? That’s one of the most that’s the easiest litmus test, at least for an extroverted thinker. You know, as you look, you look, you look at your friends, like investments, and, you know, are they a curse or a blessing in your life? Are you getting more out of it than what you’re putting into it? Or are you getting less out of it than what you’re putting into it? And if it’s less well, that’s, that’s what it is to be a curse, right? That’s, that’s a cursed friendship, that’s curse relationship. Definitely cut them away. You know, but from the, from, like, a ti Fe user standpoint.
You know, it’s definitely something similar. Problem is, we don’t really necessarily see it in terms of investment, we kind of see it in perspective of like, trading favors, you know, or at least favors. And, you know, are we as Fe users being given favors, you know, are is our friends doing us favors, and as much as we are doing favors for them, you know, and if we’re, if we’re doing more favors for them than they are for us, well, then that’s technically an abusive relationship, we should probably like move on, you know, and, and that’s the thing, you know, that’s when you’re an SI user, you can like be really stuck, you know, doing favors for other people, and they don’t do you any favors during the few times that you actually need help? You know, because, you know, with you Introverted Sensing, your life experience collects over time. And if you’re like a crusader type, you don’t often ask for help.
On top of Crusaders, I’d like dNTP, you don’t often ask for help on top of having a lot of your startup life experience so that when you solve problems in the past, you can solve them again, when they come up again, right, you don’t have to, like completely rebuild the goose every time or rebuild the building, every time you face the same problem, like an extroverted sensor is at risk of doing. So you don’t often ask for help, you don’t often need assistance from other people to get what you’re going for, to get what you’re looking for. And you know, and I understand that I totally get that, you know, but the reality of the situation is, is that, you know, everyone eventually needs help, eventually, you know, when you’re an extroverted feeler, it’s all about favors, you know, so you need to make sure that, you know, if you’re, especially if you’re a crusader, stop yourself from offering to do favors to other people, because then you’re at risk of covert contracting them and getting like super bitter at them at the same time. You don’t want that to happen.
I mean, I’ve had that happen to me many times throughout my life, and that is definitely not a direction I want to go in or be a part of, literally. So keep that in mind. Like, it’s one of the it’s one of the more challenges when it comes to friendships, you know, now, but let’s talk about like familiarity, you know, introverted sensors, like they can’t even really have friendships with other people until they have some semblance of familiarity, or at least potential for familiarity, you know. So like se users were some se users demand immediate familiarity, or they’ll have nothing to do with familiarity, but then it’s like an extremely shallow perspective, you know, so like, so users are kind of the extremes, they demand all the familiarity upfront, or they’ll have no familiarity with at all and then just keep it you know, shallow.
They even have sexual relationships, from my perspective, especially INFJs and ESTPs. They can get super shallow with their sexual relationships as a result, and that’s really frustrating. So so what what is, what does an SI inferior to do? What does an SI user to do? Literally, what you got to do is, is that yeah, you got to recognize that there is a risk of being stuck in your comfort zone, but the thing is, is that if you if they’re doing favors, or you’re getting good return on investment from your friends, why not keep them? I mean, if it’s really that big of a deal, how about you just add it to your friends circle? You know, there’s like a study saying that Human beings start losing track of people when they’re like, about 120 plus people. So, maybe 130.
So if that’s the case, before they start breaking off into their own groups, right, so if that’s the case, aim to have your friends to be around like 100 Friends, for example, and make sure that they’re all high quality people, high quality women, high quality men, depending on your gender, and then just invest or do favors or get favors or get investment from those people. And just add to that group, afterwards, they’re probably going to break off into some other groups somehow, and then just kind of go in that direction. And that’s okay. It’s not exactly that it’s not like you’re losing friends, per se.
It’s just, it’s really hard for everyone to maintain relationships in that perspective. But yeah, gain familiarity with them, you know, add them to your comfort zone, heavily invest in them, because it’s gonna pay off dividends for you later in life far later in life. You know, like, what if, like, all of a sudden, you know, you get stabbed, you know, you think your family is gonna be there for you, you think your woman is going to be there for you? No, no, your bros are going to be there for you. And your Tate said that, for example.
And I agree with that, you know, it’s like, that is really going to be for you. That’s, that’s what the family you choose is all about. And this is not necessarily the family you inherit. And even then, like, you can’t even really like as a man, you can’t even put really much stock into your woman either to actually be there for you like, but your bros will be there for you.
So you want to make sure that you’re investing and favoring properly, giving favor or giving investment to the proper people, and they’re giving you favor and giving you investment as a result, you gotta understand that there’s this, you know, trade going there. And if you’re getting more out of it than what you’re putting in, that’s a blessing, but you got to make sure that you yourself are not becoming a curse to these people either. Like, that’s also your responsibility. Don’t be a curse to these people.
But, you know, variety is the spice of life. So it’s important that you know, eventually when you friends, crew or friends group reaches a certain size, that you have an aspect of churn, and you turn new friends in and phase other friends out, as you’re determining who is giving you the investment in the favoring and who you’re investing in favoring? And like, are you getting returns in that, you know, you’ve got to have a healthy churn because like, for example, if there is no churn, if the river stops flowing, then everything dies, and then you won’t have any friends basically, because you yourself are not growing. This is like the river of life. This is oftentimes why for example, the Bible compares people or crowds of people, or the entire crowd of people on the planet, as like water or a great sea, a sea of people.
You know, I’m saying so understand when modern, and Martha Hampi. So, like, that’s, that’s how it works. You know, and that’s what you got to do. You know? Don’t Don’t get caught up in the hole.
You know, I need to have a consistent new amount of friends. No, no, it’s more of like, you need a churn of friends. Yeah, allow yourself to get familiar with people. But at the same time, make sure you’re doing the dance of the unfamiliar and having unfamiliar people, the potential friends at the same time.
And it’s not necessarily just keep it imbalanced. I’m not saying that I’m saying keep the churn rate up. It’s important to have churn. Churn also helps you especially if you’re an SI user tests loyalty in a healthy way, because we lack extroverted sensing because we’re si users.
So it’s really hard for us to do loyalty checks. And keeping that churn allows us to do what I call trust checks, which like en TPS do more than the other si users. But still, si users need to have trust checks. It’s like, Hey, I’ve been reliable for you, but are you reliable for me? You know, that’s, that’s healthy.
That’s not so. Anyway, folks. Think that’s it for this episode. Thanks for watching, and I’ll see you guys next time.
